AN: Okay people. A little more father daughter bonding. I have no idea how I filled up an entire chapter with that but I'm not going to try and figure it out. You read and decide.
Read, enjoy, and review!
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Chapter Twenty-eight
Vader couldn't believe he was back on this backwater, force forsaken planet again. Every time he vowed never to come back, he ended up doing it anyway. It wasn't that Shmi had particularly begged him to go save Han. She had asked and he had said no. She took the answer simple as that and was silent as they stared out into space, but perhaps that was why Vader had decided to go to Tatooine anyway. It seemed like Shmi had inherited something from him personality wise after all. He would rather her throw a temper tantrum or argue with him before taking an escaped pod and doing it herself (like Leia would have at that age) than silently looking out the window and shutting her emotions away. It was a trait rare in children, that she could force her emotions aside so easily. But Vader had learned the hard way that wasn't a good thing like the Jedi said it was. Not for people like him and Shmi, who only had to see someone do something that triggered a past emotion before they unleashed their fury.
He should know. He was so convinced Padmé had betrayed him that he couldn't hear her saying no, that she had no clue Obi-wan had been on the ship. Instead he lost it and choked her. Besides, despite his immediate dislike for the smuggler, perhaps having him around would help Shmi face whatever it was that was causing her violent occasional outbursts.
And so there he was with an obviously ecstatic eight year old as they left their ship at a docking bay in Anchorhead and made their way to either purchase or 'borrow' a suitable landspeeder. As soon as they were outside, Vader scowled.
"I hate sand. It's grainy and course, and gets everywhere…" he said and stopped as he looked at Shmi who had stopped to look at him after saying the same thing.
Vader smiled a little at her before continuing to look for a speeder. Shmi meanwhile sat herself on Kishan's back and took off her boot pouring out the grains of sand that had somehow gotten in it. Finally, she sighed.
"Why couldn't we just land directly in front of Jabba's palace?"
"You know nothing about Jabba child," he said stopping in from a small used speeder lot.
"I know he's a slimy greasy-." Shmi suddenly closed her mouth.
"A slimly greasy what?" Vader asked finally picking a speeder.
"Han told me not to repeat it or you and mom would try to cut off his tongue with a lightsaber," Shmi said with a smile.
Vader huffed. "I might do it anyway," he said summoning the salesman and wordlessly putting the correct amount of credits in his hand before climbing in and gesturing for Shmi to follow. Kishan crawled in the back, but barely. He was two meters long and four feet tall.
"But I do know about Jabba," Shmi said.
"You don't and you know nothing about Tatooine either. Hope that you will never be forced to come back here again," Vader muttered.
Shmi only looked at him before saying, "Mama says you were from here and that you hate it because you have bad memories of it."
Vader tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
"What else did she tell you?"
Shmi shrugged. "She said that was the only thing she knew about it and that she didn't know much about your past, before she met you that is."
Vader actually had to ponder over Shmi's revelation and now that he thought about it, he realized he never did tell Ahsoka about his past on Tatooine. He never told her, not even mentioned that he had at one time been a slave. He might have to rectify that or at least mention it when the opportunity presented itself...
When Vader didn't answer her, Shmi continued. "She said your mother's name was Shmi too."
"You're named after her," Vader said distantly and then blinked as he noticed the setting Tatooine suns. Even in a speeder, there was always a great risk to driving through the Tatooine desert at night. The tuskens would be out soon.
"Keep alert," Vader said to Shmi. "It's going to be dark soon."
"Will we get to Jabba's palace in time?" Shmi asked.
Vader wished Han's rescue would be as simple as Shmi was thinking it would be. More than likely, they would end up killing Jabba and stealing Han right off his wall before fighting their way out and speeding away, if the Jawas that hung around there didn't get to their speeder first. It wouldn't be a good idea to try it at night.
"We'll have to find somewhere to stay," Vader admitted.
Shmi raised up in excitement. "That means we get to camp out!"
Vader scowled remembering the last time his eight-year-old daughter went camping. He shook his head.
"No…" he said trailing off. He really didn't want to take the only other alternative, but he had no choice. The suns would be down soon, and though Vader might have been willing to risk his own safety to find shelter in the sand dunes, that was not a risk he would take with his eight year old daughter.
"There's somewhere we can go. I know some people here that might take us in," he said.
"Who?"
"The Lars," Vader said in a bit of disdain. This was delving a bit too far into his old life than he was comfortable with but Shmi didn't have to know that. Right then, they needed a place to stay. But it was still far off. It would be well into the evening before they got there, an hour or two past the sunsets.
"No more talking," Vader said to Shmi. "Keep on high alert and stretch out your senses."
Shmi slowly looked at him. "Why?"
"It's getting dark."
"I'm not afraid of the dark," Shmi told him and Vader sensed that she was being truthful and not trying to calm her fear.
"It's not the dark you need to be worried about. It's the things that come out in the dark," Vader said to her.
"Not afraid of that either," she said with a smirk.
"Then what are you afraid of?"
Shmi didn't answer immediately and Vader looked aver to see she had gotten a distant look in her eyes, like she was having a flashback or vision.
"Shmi," he said gently shaking her shoulder. She jumped.
"Huh?"
Vader shook his head. "Never mind," he said hearing the growls as the suns set and speeding up some to get to where they needed to go.
Just like he assumed, it was late into the evening when they got to the homestead. It hadn't changed a bit and that just made Vader even more irritated about being here. But this wasn't about him. He'd sleep outside if he needed to but he couldn't take that risk with Shmi there.
"You're still up?" Vader said to her when they got out vehicle. "It's a little late."
"I slept on the ship. Besides, I think it's daytime on Dathomir, and even if it wasn't, we do a lot of things at night there. I'm used to it," Shmi muttered.
But Vader saw through the lie. Shmi was certainly tired from the trip, but for whatever reason, she didn't want to go to sleep.
"Do you sleep normally?" he asked.
"Yes," she said simply and so Vader rephrased the question.
"I mean, do you get an ideal amount of rest in a day?'
"What's ideal?" Shmi asked tilted her head as they made their way to the door.
"At least six hours for your age," Vader replied.
Shmi's jaw dropped in the dramatic fashion of an eight year old as she said, "Six hours!"
Vader rolled his eyes. "I said at least."
Shmi crossed her arms. "Do you sleep that long every day?"
"I don't have the need for it," Vader said to her stubborn response. "But you do. Is there a reason you don't like to sleep?"
Shmi looked down and muttered, "No."
"Don't lie," Vader said intending to stop but Shmi went ahead and knocked on the door before reaching up to hold Vader's gloved right hand.
"Who is it?" a woman's voiced asked hesitantly.
Vader sighed and forced himself to swallow his pride before saying, "Me and my daughter are travelling. We need a place to stay."
"We aren't taking boarders," a gruff male voice said and Vader scowled. Owen… He had only known the man for a few days, but they hadn't exactly seen eye to eye then. He had suggested that he and Padmé stay on Tatooine, safe and away from everything going on in the galaxy. It was something Vader couldn't do.
"Owen," he heard the woman say and then the shuffling of feet as she came to the door.
The door opened and a woman with blond hair came to the door, perhaps around his age or a little younger by her force presence. But Vader noted that she looked older than him, the Tatooine suns taking their toll on her.
"Sorry about him," she said glaring back at Owen. "I'm-."
"Beru," Vader said as he recalled when he had seen her when she was younger.
"Yes," she said slowly. "Who are you? You look familiar."
Vader figured they wouldn't take kindly if he said Darth Vader and so he used the name he hadn't claimed in over twenty years, the name Ahsoka sometimes called him when she didn't think he was acting much like his Sith self.
"Anakin Skywalker and this is my daughter, Shmi."
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Beru didn't even hesitate to let Vader and Shmi when he told her who he was-or at least who he used to be, but she didn't need to know that. She immediately set about worrying over the two asking what they were doing out there and if they were hungry. Shmi eagerly sat down to enjoy the blue milk and sweet bread placed in front of her but Vader opted not to. Owen undoubtedly wasn't happy. It seems like his opinion of him hadn't changed in the last twenty years, but the man was certainly shocked to see him alive.
"Come on Shmi," Beru said holding her hand out to the girl when she was done. "I have some clothes you can wear to bed."
"Thank you," Shmi said politely as she let her aunt guide her into the back room.
Vader didn't acknowledge Owen as the man glared at him. If he had something to say he could say it. But as always, Vader grew impatient and shot him a cold glare.
"Is there a reason you're looking at me?" he snapped.
"Just surprised you're alive is all," Owen admitted. "And with a kid no less."
Vader didn't feel the need to tell him that Shmi wasn't his only child and so he only said, "Are you disappointed?"
"Don't really have any feelings on the matter, but it makes me wonder what you're doing here all of a sudden after twenty-five years," Owen replied.
"It's none of your business."
"It is when you could be putting us in danger."
"Relax. You're perfectly safe. No one's looking for me. Me and Shmi just got caught in the dark."
Owen scoffed and started to say something when Beru came back in.
"So what brings you all the way out here Anakin?" she asked.
Vader held back a cringe at the name but said, "Business."
"With your daughter on somewhere as dangerous as this?" Beru asked innocently enough.
"It's a long story. I had no choice but to bring her along."
Beru glared at him a little but accepted the answer before saying, "We thought you were dead with the rest of the Jedi."
Vader didn't answer her at that point. The less they knew, the better. Figuring he wasn't going to answer, Beru changed the subject and said, "She looks a lot like your mother did, but a little more…"
"Exotic?" Vader said bluntly. "Her mother's torgruta."
"She didn't look like she was all human," Owen said.
"Most people can't tell," Vader replied remembering what Ahsoka once told him.
"When you live around here you gain an eye for it," Owen replied finally sitting down. "So how long do you plan to be here?"
"Just for the night. We'll leave in the morning, rest assured," Vader replied simply and left no room for anymore conversation. He sat right where he was long after Beru and Owen had gone to bed. It was normally times like these when he had nothing to do that he allowed himself some rest, but he found he couldn't really sleep. The closest thing he could get to it was something of a meditative trance.
"Vader…"
"You cannot avoid your destiny."
"Anakin!"
"Then you will die!"
An evil cackle.
Vader was startled out of his trance by a disturbance. Normally he would have cursed such a thing. His vision hadn't been clear and he had been trying to make sense of it, but he'd figure it out later. He crept to the room that Beru had given to Shmi and saw the girl wasn't in bed, but not only that, the window was open.
Her presence still lingered in the room and so he knew she hadn't gone far, but a person didn't have to go far for the Sand people to find them at night. He slipped out the window, climbed up the stairs, and followed her presence. Contrary to what he had originally believed, she had gone pretty far a good twenty meters or so. Vader found her lying on her back using Kishan, who was sprawled out on the ground, as a pillow.
"Are you aware of how dangerous it is to be out here at night?"
"Kishan's here," Shmi said staring at the stars.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked her deciding if she was anything like her mother, she was only going to use his concern as an opportunity to play with him. So he sat next to her with his legs tucked under.
"I'm not sleepy," she said, but the yawn that came out contradicted her.
"Sure you aren't."
Shmi looked at him. "Do you ever just say what you mean?"
"Occasionally," Vader said with a smirk knowing she was referring to his sarcasm.
"Leia does that, she says one thing but means the opposite. It used to confuse me," Shmi said.
Vader knew what she was doing. She was trying to get him to forget that she was awake to begin with. He gently nudged her in the shoulder with the force and she looked at him. He gave her a pointed glare.
"Why are you up?"
Shmi sighed. "I can't sleep."
"Why?"
She was quiet for a while before saying, "I have bad dreams."
Vader suspected as much and it concerned him. "What are they about?"
"Different things," Shmi said and Vader recognized her becoming despondent and unresponsive again. He started to force her to tell him but he had the nagging feeling she would only resist more. Nightmares were never a problem he had with Leia and if they had been a problem, he was never around enough to notice and Ahsoka hadn't felt the need to mention it to him.
"What things?" he tried again.
Shmi shrugged and rolled over to lie on her side, her back facing him.
"I used to have nightmares too," Vader said before he could stop the words from coming out his mouth. He had only been briefly considering telling her and then all of a sudden the part of him that wanted to comfort her, the part that he admitted sometimes slipped out around Ahsoka and Leia took over for this child he barely knew. He cringed. It felt wrong to barely know her.
But as soon as Shmi rolled back over and sat up with curious eyes, he knew it had been the right thing to say.
"Did you?"
"Yes. I would see the future," he said.
"What future?"
Vader hesitated. If he opened up, it would be likely that she'd do the same. But he never opened up to anyone about his nightmares before. Well that wasn't true. Padmé had known about all his visions and Ahsoka had found out about his vision of Padmé's death, but only because Padmé told her. Vader thought about that time. If he had really thought about it, his and Ahsoka's relationship had started to spiral downward at that point…
"I saw my mother die and Padmé," Vader added.
"Luke and Leia's mother?"
"Yes," Vader said and he briefly wandered what would have happened if he hadn't tried so hard to save Padmé from his dreams. Part of him felt guilty for it, but then again, it was very likely he wouldn't be sitting next to Shmi right now.
They were silent for a few moments and Vader felt the conflict in Shmi. Finally, it settled down and she said, "Most of my visions are about the past."
"What do you see?"
"Han," Shmi said quietly. "On Bespin, when they tortured him."
"Tell me about it."
"I don't really remember it. I remember watching but I don't know what happened," Shmi said.
"Just like when you hurt those girls that were bothering you?"
Shmi nodded.
"That's your problem," Vader then said. "Not facing your fears allows them to take you over to a point where you aren't controlling your actions, your thoughts."
"Is that the dark side?" Shmi asked him.
"Yes," Vader said.
"But you're dark," Shmi pointed out. "But it's not scary, not like that other darkness. I prefer your dark to the Jedi's light. It's… blinding. Luke's light is bright, warmer and stronger than the Jedi's, but I like to look at it."
Vader stopped suddenly. "What did you say?"
Shmi didn't hear him and instead said, "Do you think remembering will help?"
"It wouldn't kill you to try would it?" Vader asked.
Shmi was silent and Vader started to think she had changed her mind on the idea until she spoke up again, barely above a whisper.
"I knew something was wrong when we landed on Bespin, and I knew it was because of Lando. I didn't like him and neither did Kishan. But Han said we had no choice. He never listens," Shmi said rolling her eyes and then becoming solemn again.
Vader mentally noted that was another strike against the man.
"Lando took us to Melody. She was dressed like a bounty hunter and at first I thought she was pretty. But I knew she was the reason I was having the bad feeling. They took Han and then Melody grabbed me and asked if I knew anything about where Luke and Leia were, but I really didn't know. She said she knew I didn't but she was making sure and then dragged me to this room where they had Han laying on a table. I… I don't remember what happened after that," Shmi replied.
"Yes you do," Vader said simply. "You just don't want to."
Shmi glared at him. "How would you know?"
"I don't like remembering a lot of things. It seems like a blurry dream doesn't it?" he asked.
"I still can't see it," Shmi muttered.
She was lying and Vader started to say as much before she said, "I don't want to look at it alone."
"Do you know how to meditate?"
"A little."
"Good enough," Vader said turning to face her. "Get into a trance. I'll help you."
Shmi looked at him cautiously for a moment before closing her eyes and trying to let go of all conscious thought. Vader did the same and searched for the unused bond between the two, one that was naturally there because of their relation.
Shmi.
Her part of the connection flickered timidly.
Don't be afraid. I'm going to help you. Reach out to me.
She struggled and it just went to show that she had a long way to go in her training. Vader felt her struggle to reach out again and then start to retreat, but Vader latched on to her presence to connect them.
Alright. I'm going to guide you through this, but you have to open up so I can see.
Shmi's presence flickered nervously.
I'll only look at what you want me to see.
Shmi opened up her mind to him and he said the blurry images of the memories she had subconsciously tried to suppress. Vader used the force to clear it up, but there was only so much he could do with Shmi now consciously trying to suppress the memory.
I can't see if you won't look.
Finally the picture cleared up and flashes of the memory came up.
"Leave me alone. What do you want?"
"That's it child. Show me your pain. Show us your fear."
"We tortured the captain, tortured the wookiee, beat her pet and still nothing. It's like she's just an empty shell, no feeling, no nothing."
"You could have done whatever you wanted to me but what kind of person are you to make her watch all of that!"
"Why are they doing this Han?"
"Shmi run!"
The memory faded, but before Vader could pull away, there was one more, a vision of lightning, and then death and grief, but strangely it was coupled with life and serenity. At that point though, Shmi seemed to realize what he had seen and guarded it again.
He snapped out the meditation and started to ask her what that was when he noticed the silent tears coming down her face, probably the most emotion he had seen her display since he met her, besides anger that is.
"Daddy," she muttered looking down as a sob escaped her.
Vader took her in his arms and he was reminded of a time he did the same to a five year old Leia who was in pain because she felt his pain and it was causing the same for her.
"Why did they do that?"
"The emperor," Vader replied simply. "He wants to use you and your brother and sister to become more powerful."
"Then why do you work for him still," Shmi asked.
Vader couldn't give her an honest answer, but he knew exactly what it was. However, it would be hypocritical to say he was avoiding his own fears when he had just made her face hers.
"Tell me," he said instead. "What was that memory at the end?"
"It wasn't a memory," Shmi whispered.
It was then Vader remembered that she said most of her nightmares were of the past, not all.
"What was that then?" he asked.
"It was the nightmare I had tonight…" she said.
"And?" he asked.
"Someone died."
It was a simple statement, but one that made Vader's heart stop cold. If his own past was anything to go by, Shmi's vision of the future was nothing to be taken lightly.
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AN: Isn't it so nice and sweet. Shmi turned out to be a darker character than I originally intended, but that's only because there was an event that kind of became the catalyst for her darkness. Although I kind of blur the line between Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader, the fact of the matter is, Shmi is still technically still Darth Vader's daughter, making the leaning towards darkness in her innate, at least in my opinion. That's why she seems to pick up her father's darker tendencies. I don't know. Maybe. I think it could be innate or it could have been environment… But I won't start the great nature versus nurture debate. For the sake of the story, it worked which brings me to another point that I'd like to bring up because my sister had an issue (she was actually angry with me for and got into a speech about that's not how she thought it should have gone) with something that happened in one of the chapters.
Look, as a writer, I write what makes a good story and some of the things my characters do are not morally right sometimes or against societal standards, but it says nothing about my beliefs or moral standard. As a writer I'm very open minded to ideas and philosophies for the use of stories and take what I like and do away with the rest. That said, even if they were my views and thoughts, I'm not trying to impose them on anyone or start a debate about it. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions and what you believe is on you.
Hope you enjoyed. Review Please!
