Authors note: Ahhh, I have the ending all played out it my head but I'm having a difficult time writing it. I guess I am officially experiencing writers block. This chapter was about twice as long but I wasn't pleased with the second half of it and figured I should work out the kinks after posting this part of it. I hope you enjoy it and are patient with me in finishing up the story.
Also, thank you so much for all of the reviews. I'm actually relieved that the ending isn't obvious so far, which I feared it would be. Here's hoping I don't disappoint you all.
I really wished I owned the Sons of Anarchy characters, but I only own little old Aubrey.
"Well, I guess she's leavin' again," Gemma said, with attitude. Tara sighed loudly and rolled her eyes at Gemma before walking out to meet up with Aubrey. They had been standing just outside of the clubhouse, both eagerly waiting to find out what happened between Aubrey and Chibs. They got their answer when they saw Aubrey walk out of the office alone and absentmindedly make her way towards her car. She had no color to her face and her body seemed almost limp.
"Aubrey's back?" Juice asked from behind Gemma. She turned around to see him still pushing the clubhouse door open, smiling widely at seeing Aubrey again. Gemma turned back to look at Aubrey.
"Don't think she's staying long," she said and looked over to the office, seeing Chibs slowly appear in the doorway with his thumbs hooked into his pockets, looking over at Aubrey. He hung his head low and turned back around, entering the office again. Gemma was curious about what exactly went on in there. Although she was annoyed with Aubrey for leaving so unexpectedly and returning out of the blue to stir up more heart ache for Chibs, a part of her had to give Aubrey credit for realizing her mistake and trying to fix it. At that moment, though, her heart was with Chibs.
"What happened?" Tara asked, finally reaching Aubrey and grabbing onto her arm to steady her. Tara could see that she was visibly shaken, but wasn't crying. She didn't say anything, but just shook her head.
"It's over," Aubrey answered, gulping down the knot in her throat. " I need to go," she added through labored breaths.
"Okay, go to my car. You shouldn't drive," Tara said, putting her arm around Aubrey's waist to help guide her in the direction of her car. She made the right decision in following Aubrey to the garage and was glad that Aubrey asked her for that favor. Aubrey didn't protest Tara's orders and allowed her to lead the way. They got into her car and drove off, going nowhere in particular.
Chibs stayed in the garage office for a few minutes, not wanting to walk out and find Aubrey still there. He was trying to calm himself after seeing her again and having to tell her to leave. When she had first left, he would have given anything for her to return and profess her love for him and how she was willing to accept all of the uncertainty, just to be with him. As the days went by, though, he became bitter and began rebuilding the wall that only she had broken through. He was amazed that, in the few moments they shared in the office together, she was able to break down some of that wall again, and Chibs stood, feeling a heaviness in his chest as he tried to decide whether or not he had made the right decision in rejecting her plea. Regret, resentment and anger began to fill the office, weighing down on Chibs. He needed air and the open road, and pushed his way out the door, heading over to his bike.
Gemma and Juice remained motionless outside of the clubhouse and saw Chibs making his way towards his bike. Juice saw the look on Chibs' face and jogged to try to catch up to him, but he just missed him. Juice stopped as Chibs drove off quickly past him, faster and louder than necessary.
After a few minutes of driving in silence, Tara pulled over and parked. She sat back and looked over at Aubrey, who was sitting still, looking at the dashboard. Tara was surprised that she hadn't cried yet, but realized that Aubrey still could be shocked by the way things ended with her and Chibs and it hadn't sunk in yet.
"What happened, Aubrey?" Tara asked again, feeling that she needed to break the silence and get her talking. Aubrey turned slowly to look out of her window and felt her stomach lurch upwards into her chest. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
"I apologized," she said with no energy, still facing the window. "I told him that I could handle all of this," she went on, surprised that she hadn't broken down in tears yet. "I told him that I made a mistake ... but he doesn't want me," she finished speaking and looked over at Tara. "I have to go home," she added quietly. Tara exhaled loudly and reached for Aubrey's hand.
"Are you sure?" Tara asked, already knowing by the look on Aubrey's face that she couldn't stay in Charming without Chibs.
"I can't stay here," Aubrey answered, shaking her head.
"I'm so sorry that it didn't work out," Tara offered. "I really thought that you two were," she stopped herself, thinking that Aubrey probably didn't want to hear how she thought they were meant to be. "I'm gonna miss you," she added instead, with a sympathetic smile. Aubrey smiled back at Tara.
"I'm gonna miss you, too," she said. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. And for not hating me for leaving," she finished, finally feeling the stinging of tears in her eyes. She looked down and they began to fall. Tara put her arm around Aubrey's shoulder without a word and let her cry.
Tara drove her and Aubrey back to the lot some time later to get Aubrey back to her car. As they were about to turn onto the lot, Tara turned to look at Aubrey.
"What if Chibs is here?" Tara asked her. Aubrey took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly.
"I'll be okay," she said, unconvincingly and nodded. Tara wasn't so sure she would be prepared for that just yet, but continued onto the lot anyways. Luckily, Chibs was nowhere in sight, making both feel more at ease. Tara parked her car beside Aubrey's and they both got out.
"Aubrey!" she stiffened when she heard her name being called and turned to look at the garage. Juice came bounding out to meet her. She smiled at him and turned back to Tara.
"Thank you again," she said with a sad smile and gave Tara a hug.
"Let me know when you arrive?" Tara asked, worrying about Aubrey driving back to Oregon all alone the way she was feeling. "I want us to keep in touch," she added. She had really come to like Aubrey and wanted to keep up as much of a friendship as possible.
"I will," Aubrey promised happily. She appreciated that Tara was looking out for her and wanted to keep in touch, despite her leaving for good. Tara squeezed Aubrey's hands and walked away, giving Juice a small wave before going to the clubhouse to see if Jax was in.
"Hey, what are you doin' here?" Juice asked excitedly, a little out of breath. Aubrey was glad to see him smiling again and realized how much she had missed him.
"Came to apologize to Chibs," she answered, reserving his real name for when it was just the two of them. The wind was knocked out of Aubrey when she realized that there wasn't a "them" anymore. She looked down at her feet, trying to stay calm.
"And?" he asked, guessing that it didn't go well, judging by Chibs' quick departure earlier and Aubrey's body language. Aubrey kept her head down and shook it. Juice sighed and rubbed his hand over his head.
"Shit! I'm sorry, Aubrey," he said, seeing that she wasn't taking it well. Ever since Aubrey left, he had been keeping an eye on Chibs and knew how badly he was doing without her. He couldn't understand why they weren't together if they seemed to miss each other so much.
"It's okay," she answered, simply. "It's my own fault."
"So, what are you gonna do?" Juice asked, feeling bad for her. He didn't want Aubrey to leave again.
"Going back to Oregon," she said, then watched as Juice gave her a pitiful smirk. She took a deep breath and added, "Look, I don't want to be rude but ... I should get going."
"Right," Juice agreed and stared closely at Aubrey. He didn't get an opportunity to say goodbye to her before she left the first time and he didn't want to let that happen again. He quickly stepped in and grabbed her in a tight hug. Aubrey, surprised at Juice's actions, stood frozen for a second then relaxed and raised her arms to hug him back. She caught the scent of leather from his cut, and although he smelled nothing like Chibs, she took in a deep breath, trying to capture that leather smell for the last time.
"I'm ... it was ..." Juice started a few times but kept stopping himself. He wanted to let Aubrey know how much he was going to miss her and that he understood why she left in the first place. He squeezed her tighter and tried again, deciding to express his thoughts in a simple statement. "I'm gonna miss you."
Aubrey let out a laugh that turned into a choked back sob. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be comforted by Juice's hug. She laughed again when she felt herself being rocked back and forth, and pulled back from Juice, seeing him smiling while he shrugged.
"Thanks," she said with a smile and stepped away from him. She let out a deep breath and looked at him timidly. "Take care of him, okay?" she asked. Juice nodded his promise to her and smiled. Aubrey nodded one last time and walked over to her car. Juice watched as she got ready to leave and waved back at her one last time just before she drove off.
Chibs sped through town and on the outlying highways for almost an hour after leaving the clubhouse. He needed to get out and be away from everyone and everything that reminded him of Aubrey. He wanted to make sure that she had left the lot, so he wouldn't have to see her again and deal with all of the feelings that seeing her again brought up. When his arms grew stiff from clenching his fists, he decided that it was probably safe to go back to the clubhouse, where he could have a few drinks.
When he pulled his bike in line with the few others that stood in front of the fence, and saw that Aubrey's car was gone, he removed his helmet and briskly walked to the clubhouse. Juice ran over to him from the garage, wanting to know how he was doing.
"Hey," he huffed out. Chibs looked back at Juice.
"Juice," he answered.
"Saw Aubrey. Why'd you let her go again?" he asked. Chibs stopped abruptly, angry at Juice's assumption that he had let her go the first time.
"Let it go, Juicey. Doesn't concern ye," he spat out. Juice noticed Chibs' tone and backed off, letting him march away and into the clubhouse. He stood outside for a moment then thought No, and walked after Chibs. He felt like he owed it to Chibs to make him realize he was making a mistake in letting Aubrey go. It was the least that Juice could do for him after Chibs had pushed him to open up about what Roosevelt was holding against him. Juice appreciated how reassuring and encouraging Chibs had been with him, and how he made him realize that what Roosevelt was threatening didn't matter. What mattered was that his brothers accepted him and weren't going to turn their back on him. Juice didn't want to let Chibs sink deeper into whatever he was feeling about Aubrey.
Despite Juice's best intentions, he made things worse for Chibs by pushing the subject when all he wanted to do was be alone. He had told Chibs that he thought he was making a big mistake in letting Aubrey leave and that he should have given her a second chance. Chibs, not wanting to talk about it, brushed it off and ignored Juice as best he could. When Juice pressed him too far, Chibs become defensive and lashed out, bringing up the touchy subject of making mistakes and doing what's right. Juice got the point and left him alone, heading back to the garage. Chibs spent the next few hours drinking and refusing to talk to anyone about what happened.
Opie, Jax and Tara had been sitting on the other side of the room, listening closely to Chibs and Juice's argument. Tara had told them what just went on with Aubrey and she was curious to get Chibs' side of what happened. Jax felt it was none of his business, while Opie felt himself getting angry at Chibs, but he couldn't quite define why.
So I keep saying that I'm hoping to finish up the story soon, or in one more chapter, but I'm going to do my best to really finish up in one more chapter. Even if it ends up being over 5000 words. Please review!
