The next day, Noah and the gang were in the kitchen. Including Mal and Zoey. Mal and Zoey got bored with molesting Duncan in the cellar so they let him go and went upstairs. Duncan was relieved and looking forward to sexually harassing some of the other suitors, but Bridgette and Geoff were having none of it and they dragged Duncan back into the cellar where they molested him. Meanwhile, Sierra was doing the same to Cody up in the attic. Until she had to go to the toilet. While she was in the toilet, Trent snuck up into the attic and locked the folding attic stairs from the inside so that Sierra could not get in. Needless to say, Sierra was pissed.

"And the next suitor is…" Noah droned, ignoring Sierra's screaming and pounding coming from upstairs…

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"…Ella!"

"WHAT?!" screeched Courtney and Sugar in unison.

"Why pick Ella!" Sugar demanded. "She's a darn pixie bitch!"

"Okay, you're hatred of Ella is half as retarded as you are yourself," Courtney rolled her eyes at Sugar, "but yeah. WHY PICK ELLA?! WHY NOT PICK ME?!"

"To piss both of you off," Noah smirked.

"Noah, I am so happy you've chosen me!" Ella smiled. "I shall sing a song to celebrate! Lalalalala-"

"Save it for when we get to the concert," Noah interrupted the princess wannabe.

Ella gasped in delight. "Are we going to an opera?!" She squealed.

"Nope," Noah told her. "We're going to a heavy metal gig. Some of the best metal bands, from Finland, to Germany, to California and England, will be there."

Ella was confused. "Why a heavy metal band?" she asked. "Isn't that kind of music a bit too… extreme?"

"Well, if there is one thing I can agree with Chris on," Noah explained, "is the fact that your singing tastes like diabetes. So I'm taking you to a heavy metal band to see if you'll sing something that won't cause that Sugar bitch to find an excuse she could use to get rid of you in the most stupidly, petty, asshole-ish way possible. And so that Chris won't be a whiny bitch. I hate it whenever he whines."

"Heeeeeeeyyy!" Chris and Courtney protested in unison.

"Well, I can't see the harm in broadening my horizons," Ella shrugged. "Just as long as it's not any of that Top 40 shit." She shuddered.

"Believe me when I say it, but thankfully, metal is a niche genre," Noah assured her. "People listen to that music because they go out of their way to find something that they like to listen to. Let's go." And so they went out to the limo. Courtney was pissed and she went down to the cellar to lash out at Geoff, Bridgette and Duncan. This backfired, because Bridgette and Geoff started molesting her.


Ella and Noah sat in the limo. "Noah?" Ella asked.

"Yeah?" Noah replied.

"How do I get Sugar to like me?" Ella asked. "I want to be her friend."

"I'd save myself the trouble and forget about her if I were you," Noah replied. "Sugar was the one who ratted you out to Chris so that you'd be eliminated for singing when Chris told you not to, even though it was the only way to save Dave's ass."

"But she can be redeemed, right?" Ella suggested.

"No," Noah told her. "Sugar hates you. She's even made it public that she wants to kill your entire family and burn your "trailer" to the ground, as well as the "barnyard" you were born in. The fact that your motives are retarded doesn't help. If somebody hates you for irrational reasons, you should hate them back. And if you hate them, you need to cut them out of your life for good."

Ella sighed. "You're right."

Noah put a hand on her shoulder. "To fuck with her. There are about sixty other people on the show you can interact with."

Ella brightened up. "Thank you, Noah! You just cheered me up!" she beamed.

"Don't mention it," Noah shrugged.


Fifteen minutes later, Noah and Ella got to the concert. Noah enjoyed it. Surprisingly, Ella did as well. She found the gothic princess theme from one of the bands to be riveting, exciting and – most importantly - relatable. The lyrics turned out to be far more meaningful than she anticipated, having previously found modern music to be shallow and be about nothing but drugs, sex and partying. Instead, the lyrics were about heartbreak, betrayal, loss and other emotions and situations Ella had to deal with on Pahkitew Island. Some of the songs had optimistic music, however. She also loved the instrumental music; particularly the violin solos.

Unfortunately, let's just say that Ella had too much fun at the concert. She sang along to every song that was played at the concert, along with everybody else in the concert. However, for the last three songs that were played at the concert, Ella got into character with the songs a little too far.

While a song about lust and infidelity was being played, Ella made out with the nearest person who was standing next to her who was eager, much to Noah's chagrin, considering Noah was the one taking Ella out on the date.

While a song about murder in cold blood was being played, Ella killed the person using the knife she gave her. The person was a nihilist and did ask Ella to do it, but it still didn't make it right in Noah's eyes. Not to mention that Ella just had sex with the person. In PUBLIC!

While a song about overpopulation was being played, well, let's just say that knife was used more times than what was intended. Needless to say, the audience was pissed. Noah grabbed Ella's hand and darted out the through the crowd as soon as a few audience members picked up what was going on. Thankfully, a lot of the other members were bewildered as Noah pushed his way past or around them until word got around what happened; but Noah and a dumbfounded Ella were already by the nearest exit by then. They slipped through the door when nobody was looking and found themselves in a corridor.

"Make no sound," Noah hissed. He wanted to call Ella out badly, but given the situation they were in, he knew that would have to wait. They tiptoed through the corridor in search of a door that would lead them out of the building. While they were at it, the bumped into a man with brown hair that resembles He-Man's in shape, a brown Freddy Krueger moustache and a permanent scowl.

"HEY!" the man snarled. "Whatsch where yer going! Goddamn it!"

Noah recognised the man. "Are you Murderface, the bassist from Dethklok?" he asked.

"What, are ya blindsch or schomethin'?!" Murderface demanded, getting irritated.

"And people wonder what's the point of the "nobody likes the bassist" trope," Noah murmured.

"Hey Murderface, what's going on?" a muscular man with long, black hair asked, appearing outside a door.

"Nathan, them aschholesch bumped into me and never apologischt!" Murderface glared.

"Dude, that's Noah from Total Drama and Unsuitable Suitors!" Nathan, the lead vocalist and frontman of Dethklok, gasped. He turned to Noah. "Dude, it is fucking brutal how you have to go through all that shit! Yet you have not gone fucking insane! That is metal!"

Noah shrugged. "Thanks. But I can't say for certain that I've put any effort into my life becoming a living hell," he replied.

"Whoa! That is fucking dark!" Nathan lamented. He turned to Ella. "You're that chick from the sixth season! It's so brutal how you go through all that betrayal from that bitch!"

"Thanks," Ella smiled.

"Would you guys like us to play you a song?" Nathan offered.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Noah declined. "We're being chanced by an angry mob. Again."

"Fuck that; we'll get the Klokateers to stand guard outside our greenroom while we perform for ya," Nathen insisted. Noah shrugged and Ella grinned as they followed Nathan and a pissed off Murderface into the greenroom. The other bandmates of Dethklok asked for autographs and then proceeded to play. Ella loved their music and the Klokateers killed off anyone who wanted to beat up Noah and Ella. About fifty-something people were killed that night. When they were finished, Noah and Ella thanked Dethklok for the music and went home. Ella was excited that she's discovered a new genre. Noah was unsure of whether to be happy for Ella and pleased that he was lucky to get to see a band backstage, or annoyed by the killings Ella has caused.


Sorry to the long wait. Shit! I haven't updated anything in a month! It has been a very lousy October in terms of my writing. I'm not going to guarantee that November will be any better, but I will try to update this fic more often. It is already in the sixth page in terms of review count, for which I am incredibly appreciative of! You guys are awesome. We are also halfway through the story, with only 26 more characters to go. But I might add some of the minor characters that have played an important role in canon. If another new cast is introduced, than I might consider adding them as well.

Dethklok is a semi-fictional band from the cartoon Metalocalypse. I say semi-fictional because the producers of the show have actually released the music to the public. It's kinda like the Gorillaz, but with more emphasis on metal.

Until next time!