Disclaimer: Nope don't own Naruto, and I never will. I'm only saying this because I'm at gunpoint. I do own Naruto…I mean I don't!
Story: Naruto is outgoing, outspoken, and oblivious. His female counterpart is the same, only she's engaged, in love with a jounin, and the Hokage loves to dress her up. And she can use mokuton jutsu.
Set as an AU.
Spoilers: Eh, not really.
Warnings: ?
Pairings: KakaNaru, Naru/OMC, Genma/Naru, Hashirama/Naru, Tobirama/Naru, Asuma/Naru, Hiashi/Naru, Kabuto/Naru, Yamato/Naru, Inoichi/Naru, Sasori/Naru, Killer Bee/Naru, Shikaku/Naru, Itachi/Naru, and Yondy!Kaze/Naru.
Yare, Yare! Naruko Gaiden
Chapter Twenty Four: Calling, Calling Home
No one knew about his Pocky obsession.
No one.
And yet, he could admit that there were two exceptions, and it would be a blonde girl he used to guard over as Konohan Anbu and Sasori. That blasted puppet master knew everything. Itachi knew that man was practically omniscient, and that nothing could get passed him.
Almost nothing went on in the base that Sasori didn't know about. If he needed to know something or find out about something, he most definitely would get it sooner or later. Everyone felt like they were being watched all the time and had the suspicions that Sasori had planted spying devices all over the base, although no one could prove it or find any of those devices.
Sasori just knew things, and Itachi had no doubt that he would have known about his Pocky obsession. Itachi hated that anyone could know about his weakness. And Sasori was the type to hold that stuff over people's heads.
Like Sasori had that day. That research must've been damn important for Sasori to have offered him the snack in an effort to quickly draw Itachi away. And Itachi remembered that poor girl. He felt even more sorry for her now, especially given the lack of her presence now (which probably meant bad things, considering it was Sasori).
Aggravatingly, he rubbed at his eyes. He was no longer super blind (though the vicious orders aimed at him on not using his Sharingan until an okay was consented was still standing), but he was still not completely able to see clearly. Everything was now at least blurry, and unfortunately due to unnecessarily harsh reminders that he was not allowed to use his Sharingan, he couldn't even compensate. Usually, he had the Sharingan on all the time these days, but after the overuse of his eyes in that last mission, he'd been told off and ordered to shut them down to let his eyes rest and stave off further blindness threatening him then, and also try to slow down the current progression of him inevitably going blind at the same time.
He wasn't really that confident that turning off his Sharingan would help all that much in the long-term inevitability of going blind, but in the short-term sense of not hastening his blindness and further worsening his current condition, then he'll concede the point and not complain (outwardly) too much about not having his Sharingan on.
He was heading there to confront Sasori now anyway. Maybe the man had something on the medic that had made the evaluation on his eyes, that way the assessment could be overturned and he could use his Sharingan again…
At Sasori's door, he knocked and waited. When nothing was heard, he tried again. After one more time, he hesitantly turned the doorknob and was surprised when it opened. Heading in cautiously, he peeked his head about and tried to see anything. Everything was dark so it made it harder to see, especially with his eyesight. Fumbling for the light, he managed to turn it on and was surprised that everything was practically gone and the room empty. His lab looked wiped out and almost nonexistent.
Itachi wouldn't be surprised if the man's paranoia contributed to him continuously Sealing his stuff away whenever Sasori was finished working.
Curiously, he poked about and picked up stuff that was left out. He hummed in thought, wondering what kind of stuff Sasori would normally have out when he was working. He found a folder to the side and opened it up, though frowned when his stupid eyesight made things hard to read. Frowning, he made a note to come back to it later.
But then there was a note that was on the counter that had been right next to the folder. Putting it up close to his face and peering closely, he read it in disbelief.
Following lead on research. Will be gone indefinitely. Bye.
Following the short and stiff note (which was crazy in itself, through the wording to the structure), there was a hilariously added drawn miniature of Sasori, hunched, straw hat and Akatsuki cloak, metal scorpion tail, and all in red ink. It was actually pretty well drawn and detailed too, especially given how small it was…
Not surprising in retrospect, given Sasori was an artist and liked these kinds of things. The only time Itachi knew the man to be impatient was in keeping appointments, and not liking making others wait or others keeping him waiting. He also liked to finish most things quickly, especially battles and assignments. Deidara was the one with the short temper and attitude, and liked to take his time when it came to fighting (while Sasori could be cruel, Deidara was the sadistic and more battle-driven of the two) and anything that could keep his interest or be explosive. Itachi could hardly picture Deidara as the type to take to art that took so much time (which was most types of traditional art, if he thought about it).
It was kind of odd for Deidara to think of himself as an artist then, though Itachi could suppose that Deidara (considering his personal view of art) would be a more non-traditional sort anyway. Fit the blond's personality anyhow.
Sighing, he took the note and trudged (not that he would admit that) to find Konan, so she could inform the Leader of Sasori going AWOL and the single, simple, and insipid note he'd left behind. He found the bluenette and handed her the note, giving her a quick explanation. She blinked at him and then looked at the note.
Maybe she was impassive, but Itachi could have sworn he heard her quick inhale of disbelief.
Sasori tended to inspire that in everyone.
"Thank you, Itachi. I shall inform Leader-sama of this immediately," Konan murmured, voice withholding inflection.
Itachi gave a nod in acknowledgment and left her behind. She quickly headed to where Nagato, the leader of Akatsuki, was resting. When the red head heard all the details, as much as Sasori had left for them, he twitched and growled irritably under his breath.
"I will have my Deva Path go searching around. Hopefully, it can find out more about Sasori's abrupt leave," Nagato growled in annoyance.
Konan nodded uncertainly, but Nagato was already having his Deva Path moving towards Sasori's lab. He made quick work of the place, which wasn't too hard unfortunately, since it seemed Sasori hadn't left anything behind. The only thing of note, at the end of the search, he had at least found a single folder. Searching through it, he was disappointed to find that they were just papers listing off the family trees of the members of Akatsuki.
Though he was also rather impressed. He had no idea that Kisame had any family (truthfully, he had always rather assumed that a shark had given birth to him and he had mutated into a humanoid). And Kakuzu's was there. He didn't think it was even possible to trace family that far back!
He was disappointed at not seeing Sasori's. It looked like the puppet master's family tree was missing from the group; he'd wanted to see what Sasori really looked like. Though it was known who the man was related to, his true face eluded everyone.
It was the last page that made him stop. He read it more carefully before the Deva Path's brain practically short-circuited. Likewise, Nagato started to hack and cough rather violently, and looked to be having a fit to Konan's eyes.
"Nagato?!"
"Kyuubi jinchuuriki…Naruto…Uzumaki…family…relative…blood!" he managed to choke out before having another fit.
"Nagato!"
He hadn't known he was related to the Kyuubi jinchuuriki of all people.
In Konoha, the original subject of their ire was currently living wonderfully. Nakago, on the other hand, was not.
There were cactus flowers all over Naruko's apartment. Nakago had tried everything, but he couldn't even pick one up and take it. They were all seemingly glued to the surfaces they were stuck on. And they didn't seem to be dying or withering at all. In fact, it could've just been him, but he felt like they were multiplying!
That blasted missing-nin. Nakago still couldn't believe he was here, or that the red head had basically forced his way into Naruko's CRA. And the nerve of him! Threatening Konoha like that.
He was amazed at how young the other man looked though. It was like he never aged, still looking like his early twenties to mid. While the rest of the world had forgotten what he looked like and that they'd expected him to age and look different from the past (and oddly, pictures and stuff about Sasori seemed to have disappeared, especially these days…), Nakago had never forgotten what the other looked like because at a consequence of being around the same age (with Sasori only being two years younger than him), during the Third Shinobi World War his family had pitted him against the increasingly talented and becoming infamous "Akasuna no Sasori."
He'd never reached the same level of notoriety Sasori had back then (and still had), and he'd held a grudge about it ever since.
While Nakago continued to seethe, and had gone back to futilely trying to yank the cactus flowers from their perches, Sasori was relaxing on the roof of the apartment complex, lying back and enjoying the fresh air while he watched the clouds.
According to his sources, Naruko was on her way and would be in Konoha pretty soon. So meanwhile, he was just going to enjoy relaxing until she came.
He still couldn't believe they bought his bombing ruse. He did go straight from the Akatsuki's base to Konoha, and went immediately through the village to the Hokage Tower. He hadn't had the time to plant so many explosives all over the town (minus the single one he'd planted outside the Tower, to make himself believable), as he'd threatened (despite the fact, he currently did own many supplies worth of Deidara's clay that he'd been pilfering through the years, collecting out of spite as retaliation against the blond's stupid views on art).
Che. Transient art. Art was everlasting.
He should stay up there for awhile. Yamanaka was still trying to sniff him out, still irritated about the cactus flowers and whatnot (he should've figured the other would remember him, given that Inoichi was old enough to be in the Third Shinobi World War and his profession would require such a memory for things). Really, it's not his fault the man was a prude. Sasori was a healthy grown man.
And a red head.
Red heads are supposed to be notorious about being the virile type after all. So it really wasn't Sasori's fault or problem, and he was just embracing his sexuality as was encouraged by the role of the CRA. Wasn't the whole point of it being reproduction? Hence, why he was just simply, according to the Act's goal, metering out sex and sensuality in an effort to coerce and be as helpful and offering to Naruko to heighten the potential success of their copulation. It was an equal trade, giving her as much help and assistance for her needs, in return for the help she would be as equally giving in regards to his Immortality Research.
In the end, he was simply trying to make himself as prospective, promising, and irresistible as was required.
He was even capable of supporting her and not just being a homeless, jobless mooch. He'd managed to acquire adequate finances.
(Elsewhere, Kakuzu was cursing up a storm as he ripped through his room, turning things upside down and inside out in an effort to find the collected funds –his personal stash and money for the group. Hidan merely watched his partner in amusement, this time not being the one cursing so atrociously.)
"Princess, princess!" Naruko cheered, still sitting in her new litter, water canopy keeping her cool (Jiraiya watched her enviously). "Pretending to be a princess is really fun, but next time I want to SAVE a princess!"
"I'll have to dress up Tobirama for you next time then," Hashirama grinned at her, while Tobirama glared at his brother.
As the two started bickering with Naruko giggling and watching them in amusement, Nagi and Kakashi walked behind them and watched the trio quietly.
"You know, technically she is like a princess," Kakashi started suddenly. "She's the daughter of our beloved Fourth, distantly related to the Senju like all Uzumaki are –and marrying Hashirama and Tobirama, like Uzumaki Mito had married Hashirama before her. She's like a surrogate granddaughter to our Third, and now our Fifth considers her like a daughter/granddaughter. That's all five of the Hokage of Konoha, having some sort of close relationship with her, and her having some kind of tie with each of them."
"Well, that's upped her 'rating' and I can only assume the number of suitors will grow," Nagi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Kakashi hummed in thought, though his face showed how disgruntled he was. "I hadn't thought about that. That would certainly draw more others to her, and want to try and get in."
They shared a moment of irritability together, before Nagi smacked Kakashi upside the head.
"Hey! What was that for?" he looked incredulously at the red head.
"For kissing Naruko," Nagi huffed.
Kakashi stared at him. "What? But you practically gave me a go ahead to go after her!"
"So? Doesn't mean I have to like it or you kissing her. I can be obtuse and aggravated about it if I want to, even if I did push you into it," Nagi said haughtily.
"You kiss her all the time!"
"And? Duh. 'Cause it's me."
"Why you!" Kakashi muttered a few curses in annoyance, while Nagi smirked.
"Those two aren't happy about it either," he jerked his head towards the two kage ahead, that Kakashi finally noticed had been shooting dark looks at him when they could manage, when Naruko wasn't paying attention.
"How the hell did you find out anyway?" Kakashi grumbled. "And those two for that matter."
"Hashirama told me," Nagi shrugged, while Kakashi gaped under his mask at him. "And he found out through the trees."
Never mind how that was possible in the first place…
"And why would he tell you?" Kakashi was almost whiny.
Nagi looked smug. "Because Naruko likes me and if she likes me so much, those two like whatever makes her happy. That and with me being so close to her might get them even closer to her as well, and also give them better chances and odds into entering her CRA if I backed them."
"It's extortion!" Kakashi accused.
"Not if they reached out to me first," Nagi smirked back.
And then they were bickering like the two Hokage.
They were on their last stretch towards Konoha when yet another obstacle was landed their way. Or rather it was a person.
A Konoha Anbu, it looked like supposedly, crashed to the floor in front of them, and laid there very still. Naruko squealed in worry, and without regard to her safety or if it was an enemy, bolted off of her litter and rushed to the injured shinobi.
Consequently, Nagi rushed after her immediately. And then as the shock wore off, so did Hashirama, Tobirama, and Kakashi, and the four stood protectively around her as she gently checked on the guy.
"Tsunade-baachan! He looks really hurt," she said worriedly.
Shaking off her own shock, Tsunade hurried over and went to diagnose the guy. Knowing what exactly ailed the man, she began to heal the injuries, though she had Naruko's guys take her away just in case this was an enemy of some sort.
"He's Konoha Anbu?" Tsunade questioned Kakashi. "I know you still have contacts. Can you recognize him?"
Kakashi frowned, peering closely at the unknown male. "He's…familiar. Just a moment," Kakashi took a second before nodding. "I'm more than sure that's Tenzou."
Tsunade looked sharply at him, but Kakashi shook his head and explained. "It's a codename, not his real name. No one knows his real name. I don't think he knows his real name."
Tsunade frowned, but continued to heal the slowly becoming healed man. A grunt alerted the group to Tenzou's creeping awareness.
"T-Tsunade-sama?" he croaked in confusion.
"It's Hokage-sama now, Tenzou," Kakashi interjected, sounding bored.
"Kakashi-sempai! Then you must be finally coming back from your mission. That means everyone is ba…ack," Tenzou stared at the group. "T-the Shodai and Nidaime! And who are those two?" he asked about the other two in the group that was unfamiliar to him.
"This is Nagi and Ittan-kun!" Naruko cut in happily, tugging Nagi forward with her while she cheerfully patted Ittan's shoulder.
The poor Iwa-nin stuttered at the chosen attachment to his name, turning red and starting to mumble. "K-kun…should be 'san,' Naruko-sama. O-or if you want, just Ittan…"
Jiraiya snickered and roughly patted Ittan on the back. "Like a silly schoolboy. Aww, are you bwushing, Ittan-kun?" he started to baby talk at the end.
Irritably, Ittan pushed away and swatted Jiraiya's hand away, glaring at the sannin. He grumbled in annoyance at the other, while Jiraiya guffawed and continued to tease him. They were ignored by the rest for all of it, as Tenzou had taken everyone's attention as he gave a quick report and explained how he got in the state he was in.
Tsunade was frowning even more. "I see. We will need to keep a further tight hold around the borders of the village, and keep an eye out for any more Oto-nin stragglers."
"We should take a quick break here, Tsunade," Jiraiya spoke up, wearing a lazy grin. "That kid needs to rest after just being healed and having just fought in a situation like that. Plus, we have plenty of time and we should eat something."
"Fine. We should make it quick."
They set up a quick and easy camp and before long, fish was being cooked over a fire. Tenzou had tentatively headed next to Naruko, who sat with Nagi on the floor. Kakashi was taking a nap behind them, right behind them actually (Tenzou wasn't sure how they weren't uncomfortable about the close proximity of his sempai, or quietly moving away at least). His Icha Icha Paradise book was open and covered his face.
"Naruko-hime?" he greeted hesitantly.
She looked up in surprise, before she looked more curious. "Hello, Tenzou-san," she gave a bright smile. "Do you know me somehow?" she asked, remembering he called her by name and like she was a princess. She lightly blushed at that.
"A-anou, I was supposed to subtly teach you Mokuton," he informed her quietly, sitting down in front of the two. He saw Kakashi lift up his book slightly, and sleepily look out.
"Oh! Really? Nakago gave me the scroll from you, and I've been trying. It's really hard though," she pouted. "I didn't get it so much until recently."
"It's okay. We can have a lot more time to work on it together now," he hoped she could hear the smile in his voice.
Suddenly, the First Hokage had come over, scowling as he plopped down right next to Tenzou. And uncomfortably pressed close at that, while narrowing his eyes at the other. Tenzou gulped. Why did the other man seem like he disliked him?
"So, um," Tenzou hesitantly continued. "I will be without a team for awhile and probably off duty, so I could probably come see you as a normal jounin and not be too suspicious. Here, how about a cute little demonstration for you?" he thought the smile in his voice should definitely be clear, and that he was coming off friendly.
He held out his hand and concentrated, and he created a wooden lotus flower. He handed it over to the delighted Naruko.
"Wow! It's really pretty and cute, Tenzou-san! You're really talented and artistic," she beamed at him.
"Yes, very impressive," Hashirama said stonily. "And you really love flowers, don't you Naruko? I remember you saying so and that you have a small garden. Perhaps when we get back I can help you make a larger one? Here, this will be for it," and with perfect ease and lesser time than Yamato, Hashirama concentrated and made a bonsai tree. "Ah, but it's a little more personal and something needed tending to often. Perhaps you should just keep this in your home with Ukki-kun, hm?"
"It's a bonsai tree!" Naruko stared wide-eyed. "I've always wanted one and to learn to style and take care of one."
Hashirama smugly smiled. "I could help you maintain it and influence its growth and structure a bit, although you might have to seek someone to learn the art of bonsai."
The Shodai shot a smirk towards Tenzou, who blinked. "I thought you'd like something real, like a real tree to plant back home as something tangible and real to own and take care of."
Tenzou shifted. He was sure of it now.
For some reason, the First Hokage hated him.
Nagi successfully hid his snickers and brought his mouth to his shoulder, muffling his amusement as much as he could. From the other side of the camp, Tobirama was openly chuckling.
"Looks like Aniki has competition and doesn't like him…and wants to take him out destructively."
Jiraiya and Tsunade looked at him before watching the small group again. Ittan sat with Shizune nearby, heard the Nidaime, and anxiously wrung his hands. Oh dear…
"Naruko-sama," he groaned in worry and anxiety.
Shizune sympathized. She'd had to follow Tsunade for years, and was constantly worrying and being anxious about the older woman.
Thankfully for herself, Tsunade didn't seem to be collecting a harem of guys for her to stress about.
Ah well. Poor Ittan.
Started 9/17/13 – Completed 9/20/13
A/n: Konoha confrontations are on pause due to the heavy stuff that will be needed in it, and will take a whole chapter onto itself (and needs extreme consideration into every word, reaction, and emotion, etc.). On the other hand, I give you Itachi and Yamato! Hohoho! How's that for compensation, eh? Hope everyone enjoyed and please leave another ten reviews (226, yeah!) :D
To Guest 1: (snorts) Oh yeah, they'll need another village. Konoha would prefer far, far away, with how destructive they'll end up being. Good thing they got two builders, eh? (Yamato and Hashirama) And the clan bending reality, that's just brilliant XD Maybe it'll be a kekkei genkai?
To Guest 2: Ah, Inoichi :D That fact would totally irritate him. How could Sasori be in, but now him? The guy's a missing-nin!
To nomad: Yay! Glad it is! And yeah, there's definitely more NarukoxKakashi (as well as the others with her) to come!
To Hanazaki Hime: Aww, thanks! I'm happy you really this.
To nanashi: I'll have to check that manga out. Our little sister also likes playing the game now. My mother likes to post everything on FB. I sigh and usually am oblivious and not paying attention and don't really care…unless it has something to do with me. Like those photos that must never be seen.
His record is not perfect anymore! Egads! Poor Iruka. And those nightmares probably won't go away –they'll probably increase and worsen. And yes, there a ton of Hokage-sama's now. I look forward to many a foreign dignitary getting confused and out of sorts XD
Ahaha, creepy cute! But ya know, everyone's gotta have their own puppy eye version, or create one (attempt at least). And Inoichi is such a sweetie. He'll probably be one of the more emotional ones, at least one of the ones from that start. But probably be very awkward about them, you're right.
And yet, Sasori will probably one of the out of the wall guys (ahaha!). He's going to enjoy every little reaction he causes. He'd be at odds with most of them, I'd think (Hashi and Tobi would definitely have different views than him; they'll have spasms with this guy's thinking). And as you can see, Itachi noticed the Pocky information, but well, Sasori didn't really do anything that was too suspicious. Until he left that stupid ass note, and everyone found it finally. I told you he'd go AWOL and he'd leave a vague note :D Although, I suppose I wasn't clear about Itachi's Sharingan last chapter. I was hinting it was off and blatantly called Itachi "blind as a bat," but at least I made it clearer this chapter!
And if no one knows Sasori was who he was, well, he'd be considered a bishie, huh? Heh. And as you can see, Nakago and him were sort of rivals…one-sidedly. And yep, Sasori lied (doesn't mean he doesn't have a whole bunch of Deidara's clay –I figure he'd childishly do something like that for those kinds of petty reasons). Mwahaha! Sasori's housewarming gift will never leave! Obstinate gifts from an obstinate guy. At this point, everyone's going to hate him. And Inoichi was the total opposite of him last chapter. Juxtaposition, haha. Sasori making it and the others did, would make the others mad too. He's a freakin' missing-nin! How does that happen? (Of course, they don't know about Sasori's threat)
The apartment is still standing…for now. And Nakago comes to face with the housewarming gift…and slowly is being driven mad with it. Sooner or later, he'll explode. And just for you, Kakuzu is another victim of Sasori's :) And you can bet Sasori would be armed with all that and more. He's ready.
Yeah, Naruko is a bit of a tomboy, but who doesn't want to be pampered? And get to be lazy? Plus, I think she's just the type to do whatever she wants. Not like a tomboy all the way, but wears, does, say what she wants most of the time. You know what I mean? And Tobi's rainbow is just that awesome XD Nagi will probably have Naruko trademark his poker face. Ah, Kakashi. He's already getting in trouble for that kiss.
And like I said, Asuma gets the funny…and then the emotional. Poor guy's gonna get whiplash. Ittan the Guard Dog. It'll go well with Baki the Diaper Slave. Hehe, doggy…and you totally know that Nakago's pretty hair will be tortured and get picked on a lot. There's just been to many jabs at it, for it not to. Poor, poor hair. I'll regret it. I'll for sorry for the hair, but not Nakago XD
I thought that was Bee's theme? Hehe. But then for that chapter…(I did listen to it –sounds perfectly obnoxious :D)
See ya,
Eri
