A/N: Yeah, what I said about two more chapters…yeah, never mind that. This is gonna be the epilogue and ending to "Empire;" I figured re-iterating things in the wrap-up would be wasteful and wouldn't advance anything meaningfully. Installment #3 will be up late Thursday/Friday, depending on what part of the world your time zone is. It'll move into the fallout of Clara's death on our people in District 10, the Odairs and their relationship with Sam, as well as the Capitol and all its little players advancing forward with the muck it's in…all of it bringing our band of protagonists and antagonists back into the fray.
As I do with epilogues, this will be in Sam's voice. Once again, I want to thank everyone who's stuck on the ship through this entire story, helping shape it into the best it could be. Major league thanks.
It's done. What I've done has set everything in motion.
We were all herded out of the Control Center just as Firth was collected from the arena, steered towards awaiting trains in a hurried, frantic mess. I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to anyone; not as if I was in the mood to. I don't want to go over the little things of Clara's death…but I know I have to confront this reality if I ever want to move on. I can't keep pretending I live in a bubble anymore, cut off from the nightmarish things that happen outside my small perspective. These Games taught me there's no escape for me; for any of us.
Rex was arrested just after we were sent to the trains. The televisions on the ride back were full of coverage – between the end of the Games and that, I don't think Claudius and Constantine could find room for a breath of air. I'm glad I don't have to stick around…glad that President Octavian let me go rather than force me to keep playing as his pawn. I know that's not behind me, but I can't handle that sort of danger with the horrifying memory of Nyx's knife hitting its mark so fresh.
I shudder to think what that all means for me…and for anyone around me. Why was Rex so complacent – so willing to be taken in? Even when I first spoke with him during the Games, he seemed not to care. It can't be his last card; if he and the President are still battling, how much more am I going to get involved? What's even left for me to do? I can't run anywhere…I'm trapped in a collapsing ball that's quickly becoming my prison.
The mountains are gone this morning as I look out the windows of the train. All I can see are golden plains spreading out to the horizon, with not even a tree to break up all the flatness. It's refreshing to see something that at least speaks of home…even if I'm still on this horrible ride.
But it doesn't look like I'll ever be able to get off it, either.
Strangely, Cheyenne has warmed up. She came to check on me yesterday when I was doing nothing but just crying my eyes out in my room. Dallas and her have given me plenty of space, but both are there for me when I need someone. It's good to know that I'm not alone when all I can feel is an empty hole in my heart.
Clara, God. She was my best friend, everything a girl like me could want in a partner in crime. Now she's gone…maybe not in my memories, but I'll never be able to hear her laughing banter or see her carefree smile again. She's headed back to District 10, just like me…but she's headed on her last trip. I've got to face the road ahead without her.
What have I become? I'm a monster; a sixteen year-old who can caustically toss away the life of someone who completely trusted her. Normal people don't do these things; normal children don't play with toys of life and death. Only those who've had their souls broken and thrown away can do that. These things the Capitol gives me for my participation…wealth for life, a big house, Capitol food; you can have it all. Take it, please. I don't want any more of this empire of bones I've been gifted.
The bloody record carved in my wake is getting bigger with the passage of time. Storm, Gannet, Waco…Clara. Who else can the Capitol take from me? Who else…can I take away?
Perhaps it doesn't matter. I'm learning that everyone I know falls away in the end.
Maybe it's I who needs to fall for once.
