Yeah I kinda skipped Hell In A Cell, I didn't like the results so I didn't want to associate the muses with it. I know Punk wouldn't have liked it anyway. So I skipped a few months a head of time. Royal Rumble is just around the corner baby!
I do not own anything WWE related, all brands, superstars, divas, and PPV's belongs to Vince. I do own Kristian and this story.
What Do I Stand For?
Months After the Break Up
There are days when I would spot her sitting alone in Catering. Elbow prompted on the table while her cheek rested lazily on her hand. She looked more spaced out than usual those days. Sure she would give smiles to people who threw them her way even hold a small chat, but she would always go back to that same table in the far corner and watch people.
I've noticed that her performance in the ring was lacking energy and effort. She would perfect one move then the next second BAM! She's down on the mat for a 1, 2, and 3. Her promos and backstage segments have lost that tingling feeling, or in other words its touch. I've heard from Mike that she has been threaten to be fired if she didn't keep it up.
Keep it up. That seems impossible for her nowadays. Every week I see her she looks more and more sleep deprived. Her eyes had grown dark circles under them, much like Punk's. Week after week she would walk in with the same ol' jeans and an overly large shirt, probably borrowed from Randy or Stephan. She even started to let her hair grow and wear it its natural color not caring about the looks she'd get from coworkers or fans.
And to think this is my entire fault.
I was the one who made her that broken, broken to the point she just doesn't give a damn anymore. I never once thought or even imagined myself being the one to finally shatter her; I always believed I would be the one to save her. But things changed. I see myself as a monster, a wreaking machine and it hurts that every time she sees me she runs away with fear and tears streaming down her face.
All John's are bad people huh?
The group of people she has to care for her, her family even cast glares at me. They knew I've hurt her, and I've hurt her bad. But they don't know how hard it is for me to see her that way either. She's fallen off the deep end and so far there had been no one who could receive her. For the most part I thought it would've been Punk, but with the way they glare at each other now I know he couldn't help.
The sudden feel of a heavy hand on my shoulder made me jump. I turned my head the slightest to see Randy's eyes pricing at me. I took the headphones out of my ear and gave him my undivided attention.
"John, we need to talk."
...
My locker room now.
I read the words on the again and again with a frown. There was no secret message behind it; it was actually pretty straight forward. I pocketed my phone and took a deep breath before grabbing the door knob, twisting it and pushing the door open.
The room was dark, but the sound of sobs echoed through out the room telling me she was here. I pushed the door open so light could fill the room and spotted her sprawled out face first on the couch. I turned on the light and quietly closed the door behind me.
Each step I took towards her the louder her sobs became, the more I saw her body shaking.
She was hurt bad, and even I couldn't help her. We tried having Adam on the road with us for some time but that didn't work. He suggested therapy but when the hell does she have time for that?
I sat on the couch slowly and pulled her into my arms. She rested her head on my shoulder and cried like there was no tomorrow.
"I'm sick of this dad; I'm through with crying over him. It hurts me even more every day, but I can't stop. Everyday I see him and it's a constant reminder of what I used to have, it's a constant reminder of that monster who finally broken me. I know I should be blaming John for this, I should be blaming those bullies in the past for making me so damn insecure and weak but it's not only them. I-I loved him dad, I thought he'd be my forever but as always god took my happiness and joy away from me." She sobbed into my chest, her nails dug into my back as she shook uncontrollably in my arms. "God hates me, he really does. He put me on this plant only to make me suffer. I don't understand why he made me if he hates me so damn much." She chuckled and looked up the ceiling "Well fuck you too god! Kill me now why don't cha?" She rested her head back on my shoulder.
"I don't understand how things like this are supposed to make me stronger, as you can see I'm only getting weaker because of it. It's hurting me and I hate it! You know this, so why put me through it? I want to be happy for once, really truly happy." She sniffled and wiped her tears away on my shirt. "I'm sorry but I see no light at the end of this tunnel I'm in. I only see more darkness ahead, and that's probably all it's ever going to be isn't it?" She looked up at the ceiling again. "Isn't it?!" Her face changed to an anger expression "Answer me damn it!"
She kept her head up ward looking around at the ceiling. When no answer came she let out a scream that sounded like it was from her soul.
The only thing I could do was wrap my arms around her tightly and let her cry it out. I've been through this many times over the past few months and then some. There was a time I caught her trying to cut herself. She never really did, I managed to talk her out of it but I'm afraid if I don't do anything else fast cutting herself wouldn't be the only thing she'll attempt.
I waited patiently as she cried herself to sleep yet again. I slipped out from under neither her quietly, and lied her down on the cushion. I gave her a kiss on the top of the head and tip toes to the door. I slid through the small crack and looked at her one last time before closing it completely.
As much as I hated the idea, I needed to find John and fast.
"...You need to go talk to her..." He said flatly. "As much as I don't want you anywhere near her, I have a feeling you're the only one who could save her at this point."
"I believe whatever I do wouldn't help, not with the way she runs away from me." I shrugged and stuffed my head phones into my pocket. Randy sighed and held the bridge of his nose, a gesture I've seen him do for years when he's at breaking point himself.
"Look John," he growled lowly "I'm tired of seeing my kid this hurt." He looked up and held a cold stare with my eyes "You caused this fucking mess so you're going to fix it." He turned his back towards me and walked down the hall, pushing road agents and equipment boxes.
"..So you're going to fix it..."
"...So you're going to fix it..."
The saying replayed in my head, as I approached the locker room with Kristian's ring name hung on it.
Well here goes nothing.
I pushed the door open slowly, afraid of what I would walk into. When the door was pushed open all the way I spotted her sitting on the floor with her head in her knees. She seemed not to notice the door opening, and I was fine with it.
I closed the door and walked towards her silently. Even then she didn't look up, but I did notice the faint sounds of weeping. I nervously sat on the floor and pulled her close to my chest. She automatically attached herself on me, wrapping her arms around my neck and cried into my shoulder.
It didn't last long. She must have smelled my cologne or realized I was too macular to be Randy. Her head popped up, scanning over my face with her shining eyes. Her hands around my neck stiffened, and her breath became uncontrollable. With whatever strength she had, she pushed herself away from me. Not satisfied with the distance she moved back even more. She stayed a safe distance away from me, breathing heavily scanning my face.
Suddenly her eyes turned 3 shades darker and it scared the shit out of me. I knew by now I should've moved away from her, but my body was glued to the floor. I was stuck here to watch the corner of her lips twitch into a smirk and her left her twitch too.
She crawled closer to me, her hair falling in her face making her look like the girl from the ring. The closer she got the more breath was captured between my lips. My hands became sweaty and my heart was pounding skipping every two beats. It seemed my fear only amused her because by the time she was in my face she wore a smile. The scariest smile I've ever seen.
She moved in so close that our lips almost touched. I felt the air from her nose warm on my cheek. The back of her hand ran down one cheek, and moved to my arm and made its way to the collar of my shirt.
"You want this Cena?" She whispered. I didn't know how to answer that. I didn't want to answer that; too afraid of what my answer would get me into. So I stayed quiet.
Her grip on my collar became killer, reminding me of the day Randy got ahold of my neck. "ANSWER ME DAMN IT!" She growled. I gulped down the large lump in my throat. Already knowing I was incapable of talking I nodded my head. Her smirk returned to her face "Thought so."
Pain. Hell rising pain, between my legs. At first I was pretty sure I was dying, but when I felt her knee remove from between my legs and the heat rush to my face, I knew I survived. Barely.
A hand flew across my face too, but that's nothing compared to the first pain. To top it off I was harshly pushed back, making the back of my head hit the floor. I saw my life flash before my eyes, and I started to pray that she at least kill me quickly. When my vision came back I was faced with her psychopathic smile. I squeezed my eyes shut tight; I didn't want to witness my own death. I don't want to see my blood on her hands. Maniacal laughing came from above me, trailing off out of the room with a slamming shut of a door. I opened one eye and saw the room was empty. I let out a shaker breath and ran a hand down my face.
What the hell did I turn her into?
...
There was a series of laughing coming from the hall. At first I thought it was April doing some backstage segment that caused her to laugh like that but then Kristian rounded the corner laughing. It was quiet alarming, and I thought John finally put an end to her terror.
Well I did until she pulled Phil right off of my lap and tossed him on the floor like a piece of trash. Only to take the spot herself. Punk opened his mouth to protest but she shot him some glare that made him close him mouth and take a seat next to Stephan. The table fell quiet, everybody but Phil (Who stared at the table nervously) was looking at Kris like she'd lost her mind.
"The fuck ya starin' at?" She asked looking around the table.
"Soooo anyway, Bryan when yer goin' to shave the beard fella?" Sheamus asked turning to D. Bryan with a smile. An awkward smile.
"Not anytime soon." Bryan chuckled running his hand over his beard "Gotta keep up the goat face persona." Stephan nodded and turned his head towards Mike.
"And when are you goin' to become less annoyin'?" He asked with a chuckle. Mike scooted to the edge of the table and slammed his hands on the face of it.
"I'm not annoying." He said, a smile creeping on his face. "I'm awesome." Everyone at the table, but Kristian groaned. She let out a sigh of boredom and propped elbow on the table, leaning forward to rest her cheek on it.
"You're ok Ella?" Bryan asked calling her a nickname made up from her middle name.
"I'm fine." She answered plainly "Wanna leave already."
"The shows almost over." Cody spoke up after glancing at his phone. "Why don't you go a head and leave?"
"I can but I hitched a ride with Stephan," she mumbled "I'll let him talk to you guys for a while."
That was probably one of the biggest lies that came out of her mouth. The whole time she sighed loudly, rolled her eyes, stared off into space, drew imaginary pictures on the table with her finger, and yawned. All things expected from her due to the prior months but today she seemed to have put emphasis on those actions.
What was she trying to tell us?
Just then John walked past; she perked up in my lap and growled like a dog. John flinched and hurried out of the room. She began to laugh like it was one of those comedy videos playing. What the hell happened when John went to talk to her?
"What was that about?" Glenn asked after the laughing died down. Yeah, the same question that's on everybody's mind.
"Nothing," she stood up from my lap "Come on Steph, I'm ready to leave this hell hole." Stephan nodded goodbye to everyone before running off to catch up with Kristian who had walked off without saying good bye. As soon as they were out of sight all eyes fell on Punk.
"What?" He asked picking at his nails nervously.
"Why were you so quiet?" I asked. Punk shrugged and kept his eyes on his nails. I let out a sigh and stood up from my seat. "I guess we should get going too, come on Phillip." I waved a good bye to the group and begun to walk away.
"Wait up, Randal!" A smile plastered on my face.
Well the least I can say is that I saved someone.
"You're not going to sleep tonight, are you?" Stephan asked as he emerged from the bathroom. I opened my eyes and pulled my body up to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Why even ask anymore?" I asked following Stephan with my eyes as he settled into bed himself.
"Because every night I jus' hope to hear the opposite." He reached out and turned out the light on the night stand. "G'night."
"Some nights I stay up chasing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw." I sung softly crawling to the head if my bed. "Some nights I wish that my lips could build as castle, some nights I wish they'd just fall off."
Stephan rolled over and turned back on the light. I knew he wasn't going to sleep this early.
"But I still wake up, I still see your ghost oh lord I'm still not sure what I stand. What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know, any more." I sunk under the covers, resting my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling.
"That's all?" My neck snapped towards Stephan. I nodded my head and looked back at the ceiling. "What you should've sung was 'I JUS' NEED SOMEBODY TA LOOOOOOVE!'" I threw my extra pillow at him.
"Stop that," I laughed "I'm trying to be depressed here."
Stephan propped the extra pillow under his head and chuckled. "And my job is to stop ya from being depressed." He turned out the light again, but I could still see his bare chest and flaming red hair from the moon light that shone into the room. "It seems like no one else can anyway."
OOOH SHEAMUS GOTTA CRUSH ON KRIIIIIS! Or does he? You'll never know 'cause I'll never tell. Whatever leave a review down below or however you guys leave reviews nowadays...geez so many technical advances.
