Rose stumbled as she suddenly found herself in an unfamiliar apartment, a new weight hanging from her neck. She glanced down, her eyes widening when she saw the necklace that Phoenix had taken to wearing. It took her a moment longer to fully process what had just happened. The necklace was the reason Phoenix had disappeared back on Earth right before they were taken to Downing Street and the brunette had given it to her to save her life.
"No," she whispered, guilt and horror washing over. "No, this can't be happenin'. No!" She gripped the necklace in a tight fist. "Take me back!"
She gasped and dropped the pendant as it burned her palm, leaving a red mark behind.
"Right, hands above your head and turn around. Slowly." A voice from behind said before she could ponder on the necklace for too long. She hesitantly did as was ordered, finding a man about late twenties early thirties behind her. He had short black hair, pale skin, and more importantly had a gun leveled at her chest.
He stared at her in confusion for a moment, the gun lowering slightly. "Rose? Rose Tyler?"
"Yeah, who's asking?" She wondered, her voice faint as it was still half submerged in shock. "How'd you know my name?"
"Rose Tyler," the man repeated, his eyes narrowing and the gun becoming steady once again. "I've been wanting to meet you for awhile now. Though how are you in my apartment?" His gaze landed on the necklace around her neck and his eyes widened, panic setting in. "Where d'you get that?"
Rose glanced down at the necklace, her throat closing up at the return of the overwhelming grief that flooded her. Did he know Phoenix? Was that why she was here? Because Phoenix would've been? "I-"
"Where's Phoenix?!" Owen demanded, his heart skipping a beat as he focused his anger and panic on the blonde before him. The blonde who had caused Phoenix so much grief throughout the past few years. Had the girl stolen it? Nicked it off her corpse? His heart nearly stopped at the thought and he quickly pushed it away. No, that couldn't be it. Phoenix had always had a lot of faith in Rose, surely she wouldn't be that close to someone who would murder her. Then again, she usually wasn't the most rational when it came to people she cared about. It was her blindspot.
The blonde had been silent for too long. He moved fast, pushing her up against the wall and pressing the point of the gun right above her heart. "Tell me where she is. And you had better hope that she's still alive or I will not hesitate to pull this trigger."
That was all that the blonde could take and she promptly burst into sobs, finding that she didn't even care that this man she'd never met before had a gun on her. Didn't care that she believed he would use it if he felt the need. After all, wasn't it what she deserved? It was what should've happened. Phoenix should be safe, not her.
"I couldn't do anything." Rose managed to choke out, tears blurring her vision. "She switched the necklace before I could do anythin'. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Owen couldn't process what the blonde was saying. Phoenix couldn't be…there was no way that she was…"You're lying." The blonde just shook her head and slumped back against the wall. "You're lying. She can't be…"
He swallowed, his throat tightening up as he stumbled away from Rose. The gun fell to the ground between them as he raced over to his mobile, punching in Phoenix's number and holding it to his ear. His heart beat faster at every dial tone and when he got her voicemail, it stopped. No. She always answered him. Always. He tried again with the same results. The phone slipped from his hand, clattering on the table he was using to support him. He could hear Rose crying behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. This was her fault. She'd said that Phoenix had given her the necklace. Why would she do that? He knew why, of course. The brunette always tried to help everyone else before herself. It was just who she was. Even when they didn't deserve it.
"It should've been you," he murmured, rage bubbling up his throat as he slowly turned to the blonde. "She should be here instead of you. You don't deserve to be…After everything you put her through? After all the times she came to me, crying because you had hurt her in some way, all because you're selfish and cruel and…It should've been you!"
Rose cringed back against the wall as he yelled at her, guilt pressing down onto her heart. He was right. She shouldn't have made it. It wasn't fair. After how she'd treated the brunette…it wasn't fair. Phoenix had always been there and Rose had never shown her how much she'd actually appreciated it. Instead, she'd left her by herself to deal with her mother's death, she'd left her hurt and alone in her flat because she was jealous over a boy, and now she'd left her alone to die. The thought had a sob breaking out of her throat. One was followed by another until she collapsed to her knees, her head falling into her hands.
Owen couldn't help himself as he suddenly found himself moving forward, fist moving forwards, There was a flash of gold and his hand hit the hard wood of his floor instead of Rose, sending a stabbing pain through his knuckles. The necklace had taken her away just in time and he was left with no outlet. He couldn't help but to slump against the wall, his energy depleting and leaving him defeated.
"Rose, where are you?" The Doctor's voice pulled the blonde out of her despair enough for her to lift her head, realizing that she was back in Van Statten's museum. On the safe side of the bulkhead door.. She'd moved. She hadn't even noticed the necklace heat up or whisk her away. With a sob, she grabbed her phone, lifting it to her ear. "Rose, did you two make it?"
"I did." She sobbed out, scared of how he might react. If he cared for Phoenix more than he cared for her…what was he going to do to her? He would leave her at home. It was only a little bit of what she deserved. "We were too slow…but she gave me her necklace. There wasn't anything I could do! This is all my fault!"
The Doctor didn't say anything and she soon heard the sound of him hanging up, which had her sobbing harder before she moved to curl up against the bulkhead door, resting her forehead against it. She'd just killed the best friend she'd ever had. All because she hadn't been able to listen past her jealousy. Phoenix had tried to tell her, but Rose hadn't wanted to listen. She didn't want to believe that the Doctor couldn't fix everything, that it wasn't all just fun and games. Phoenix had always been there for her, even while Rose took her for granted. She'd always been there to pick her up after a nightmare or a break up or just when she needed a friend. And what had Rose given her? She'd left her to deal with her mother's death alone, then she'd left her in her flat, hurt and alone, and now she'd left her to die alone. Phoenix was paying the price for her mistakes and it cut Rose up to acknowledge to herself, but there was no way around it. She couldn't just ignore it. And despite everything Rose had put the brunette through, Phoenix still sacrificed herself for her because that's how good she was. Rose didn't deserve a friend like her.
~9~
Phoenix sat on her knees against the bulkhead door, her forehead resting on the cool cement. She felt like she should be crying, but for once that day, no tears would come to help her cope with the feelings pulsating through her. She was about to die. And she'd chosen it. Maybe that was why she couldn't shed any tears. Because it had been her choice. She'd had to choose between her and Rose and she'd chosen for Rose to survive. Now she would never see the Doctor again, but she knew that he was safe. She wasn't going to see Owen again or Jack or her father or Triton. She'd never be able to speak with Jackie about how the woman had acted towards her when they'd brought Rose home. She would never know the truth of what had happened to her mother or who had tried to kill her. She'd just go missing in the underground of some museum in 2012.
But still she felt like she should be crying with how much she hurt inside, how scared she was, and how much she regretted. She didn't want to leave on bad terms. She didn't want the Doctor to forever remember her as being angry at him or terrified as she was sure he'd noticed in the cage.
Her phone rang in her pocket and almost on auto-pilot she answered, holding the phone to her ear. "Hello?"
"Phoenix?"
Strangely, it was the Doctor's voice that broke the dam that was filling up inside her and she was quite suddenly choking on her sobs, trying to quiet them for his sake. She didn't want him to blame himself for this. She'd chosen to travel with him and had wanted it more than anything else she'd ever wanted before. Even when she'd thought he would be dropping her off at home, she'd wanted it. Even now as she was about to die, she wanted it.
"Phoenix, I'm sorry." His voice broke at the end and she struggled to control herself enough to speak to him. She didn't want to leave without saying good bye.
"Don't be." She whispered to him, her breath catching in her throat as she heard the whirring sound of the Dalek approaching. A glance behind showed that it was turning the corner. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I chose to stay, I chose to travel with you and even though you were going to leave me back home, I'm glad I got to stay longer." She swallowed back another sob. She had so much she wanted to tell him, but she didn't have the time. "I was drowning before I met you. I didn't have anything left, but you helped me pick up the pieces enough to enjoy life again. So, thank you. Thank you for showing me that life could matter again." She threw another glance over her shoulder, seeing that the Dalek was nearly to her. "Promise me that you won't blame yourself. That you won't blame Rose. Promise me that you won't let the Time War consume you." She waited a moment, tears rolling down her cheeks as her executioner drew ever nearer. The Doctor didn't say anything, he couldn't. All he could do was feel. He felt sorrow, guilt, pain, anger. He felt broken. "Doctor, please promise me!"
Her sobs tore at his hearts and he felt a tear slip down his cheek, his throat closing as grief began to set in. Even in her last moments, all she was focusing on was everyone else. Even when all he'd done was doubt her every step of the way, she was offering him the forgiveness he'd sought after all day and yet now that it was there, he didn't want to take it. He didn't want to lose anything else, he didn't want to lose her.
"Doctor, please!" She sobbed in his ear and yet he still could not make himself answer her. He struggled to make his vocal chords work, but he couldn't work past the pain that was slowly beginning to encompass his entire being. He couldn't do this anymore.
"Exterminate!" He heard the laser beam and a clatter, but he ripped the ear piece off before he had to hear her scream. He was too selfish to listen to her last moments. He didn't want to bare the pain.
"I killed her." He breathed, the realization sinking into his bones and nearly driving him to his knees. Not only had he killed her, but he hadn't been able to give her the one thing she'd asked him for. He hadn't been able to give her what she needed in her last moments.
"I'm sorry." Van Staten murmured and for the first time in his life, he meant it.
"I said I'd protect her." The Doctor snapped out, anger beginning to replace the grief he felt. It helped, just a little. It was easier to handle. "She was only here because of me and you're sorry?" He slowly began to make his way over to the desk. "I could have killed that Dalek in its cell…but you stopped me."
"It was the prize of my collection!" Van Staten argued. This couldn't be his fault.
"Your collection?!" The Doctor spat, fury overwhelming him. "Well, was it worth it? Worth all those men's deaths? Worth Phoenix?!" Van Staten leaned away from the timelord, scared to hear what he might say next. "Well, let me tell you something, Van Staten. Mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater!"
"Exactly!" Van Staten exclaimed, standing up. "I wanted to touch the stars!"
"You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground, underneath tons of sand and dirt! And label them! You're about as far from the stars as you can get!" The Doctor struggled to hold onto his anger, feeling the grief beginning to creep back in. He didn't want to feel her loss. But he couldn't fight against it for long. "And you took her down with you. She was eighteen years old."
~9~
Phoenix shuddered against the cement door, having let her phone slip out of her fingers when the Dalek had fired. Why could she still feel? Why was she still breathing? Or was she dead? Struggling against the sobs that still wanted to break forth, she slowly turned her head to see the Dalek just sitting there. Why didn't it kill her? What was it doing?
"I am armed!" It screeched at her, making her flinch back against the door. "I will kill! It is my purpose!"
She squeezed her eyes shut, expecting it to shoot her now that it had gloated, but still nothing came. Confused, she looked back over to see it still staring at her, but not doing anything. Shakily, she stood, still pressing herself back against the door.
"What are you doing? Why am I not dead? You killed everyone else." She managed to get a hold of herself, her tears now silent as she tried to figure out what was going on. The process of thinking was strangely soothing and she found it helped calm her even more. "What's stopping you now?"
"I feel your fear." It told her and she frowned.
"I thought you couldn't feel emotions like that," she murmured, trying to wrap her head around it. The Doctor had said that all the emotions were removed.
"Daleks do not feel fear!" It screeched. "Must not fear!" She shrunk back with a cry as it fired twice, though it only hit the wall on either side of her. "She gave me life! What else has she given me?!"
"I don't know," Phoenix breathed out after a moment, shuddering.
"I am contaminated!" It screeched before rolling up to her.
~9~
The Doctor turned as the elevator whooshed open, Rose and Adam making their way out. The blonde had tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes unfocused as she stared at nothing in particular, her fingers clutching the pendant around her neck.
"You were quick on your feet!" The Doctor snapped, rushing forward and towering over Adam. "Leaving Phoenix behind!"
"I'm not the one who sealed the vault!" Adam snapped back.
Rose blinked and turned to the Doctor, dragging herself out of her misery. "I'm sorry. I didn't have time to-I couldn't-" she broke off into sobs again, clutching the necklace tightly. "I'm sorry. I really am."
"Open the bulkhead or your companion dies!" The Dalek's screech drew everyone's attention to the screen and for a second none of them could believe what they were seeing.
"You're alive!" The Doctor breathed, relief filling him to replace the anger and the grief. The Doctor felt lighter than he'd felt in ages. Nothing else mattered except her and the fact that she was standing there, breathing. He hadn't killed her.
"Phoenix?!" Rose cried out, sobbing even harder as she moved to stand beside the Doctor. "Phoenix, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"Rose, it's okay." Phoenix cut in, glancing between the two people she'd worried about the most that day. "I'm fine. I'm alive."
"I thought you were dead." The Doctor managed to choke out as his guilt pressed down on him again. She might be alive, but the Dalek was still standing there with her and her tears hadn't dried yet. She was still scared and in danger.
"Open the bulkhead!" The Dalek screeched, growing impatient.
"Don't do it!" Phoenix cut in, afraid of what she was saying, but knowing that there was no other option. "If it gets out, everyone will die! I'm not more important than the entire planet! I can't have that weight on my shoulders."
"We can't just leave you there!" Rose protested, her heart pounding with worry and dread. Would she have to lose her friend a second time?
"What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?!" The Dalek screeched, it's gun swiveling to point at Phoenix.
The Doctor started at the Dalek's word choice. Love? Was that what he felt towards the brunette? Was it possible after only such a short time? Yes, he realized. It was. He loved her. He loved her compassion and her laughter and her curiosity. He loved how she marveled at every new thing she learned, how she'd just accepted that his ship was sentient, how she tried to comfort him even after she'd learned of his past. She'd forgiven him when he didn't think anyone would, she helped him enjoy traveling again. And she hadn't even had to do anything. He loved that she still did her best to help those she cared about, even when they failed to do the same. For once, the Dalek was right. He loved her.
Rose felt her heart break at the look she saw on the Doctor's face. He loved Phoenix, not her. She'd been blind that entire time, thinking there was more where there wasn't. But as she stood there, silent tears still dripping down her cheeks, she couldn't find it in herself to be angry about it. She'd thought that her friend had died to save her and all she'd ever done was put her friend down. She'd thought that Phoenix was trying to steal from her, but it was actually the other way around. Rose had been jealous that Phoenix had both her parent's when Rose didn't. She'd been jealous that all the boys in school noticed the brunette and yet the girl was completely oblivious. It was why she'd always jumped in first, why she'd felt the need to stake a claim. And the entire time, she'd been wrong. So, so wrong.
The Doctor steeled himself and looked over at Van Staten who looked terrified. He took in everyone in the room, knew that he could very well be damning them all. But he just might be able to save her. He could make sure that she was safe. He would have to make sure they were all safe. There had to be another way.
"I killed her once." He crossed over to the computer and pressed the key to open the bulkhead. "I can't do it again."
Rose watched as the Doctor released the door for the Dalek, watching on the screen as Phoenix was pushed forward. And she had to wonder if he would've done the same for her? It hurt that she couldn't be sure, but at the same time, she felt that she owed this to Phoenix. For everything she'd ever done to hurt the brunette, for all the times that Phoenix had been there for her despite the way she'd treated her, she could give her this.
"What do we do now?" Van Staten demanded, glaring at the Doctor. "Ya bleeding heart! What the hell do we do?!"
"Kill it when it gets here." Adam suggested, Rose moving to stand beside him as she wiped her cheeks dry.
"All the guns are useless." Goddard reminded, lifting her head up from where she'd buried it in her arms. "And the alien weapons are in the vault."
"Only the cataloged ones." Adam admitted, glancing guiltily over at Van Staten.
~9~
Phoenix let the Dalek lead her to the elevator, which it got working again, and she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, managing to stop crying now that she knew she wasn't about to be killed. At least not right away. However, that didn't mean that the danger was over. And she still wanted to know what the Dalek had meant by the Doctor loving her. He couldn't have feelings for her, could he? No one ever went for her. She was just the good friend who everyone overlooked. Besides, was it even possible for him to have feelings for a human?
She knew that Rose thought that she felt for him, but Phoenix didn't believe that either. More she felt that the Doctor was convenient for Rose. She didn't want to deal with responsibility and she'd taken the first chance she could to escape it. It hadn't hurt that it came with an amazing, two-hearted, human-looking, handsome alien that went around saving their lives on a daily basis. But that didn't mean that he was even capable of returning such sentiments.
She wasn't sure how she even felt towards the time lord. She definitely considered him a friend, but could she ever consider him more? Her eyes widened as she realized, yes she could. It would be so easy. She may even already feel more towards him. But that didn't mean that she should. For all she knew, he'd had someone back on his planet before the Time War. If he did, then that meant that he'd lost them a little over a month ago.
And even if he didn't, she wouldn't be able to trust that he truly felt that way for her. It had only been a month since he'd been in a war. It would make sense for him to be looking for a connection with someone, with anyone. But then why didn't he go for Rose? She'd obviously been sending him signals. She so obviously wanted him. So why would he choose Phoenix over her?
Could she even make any assumptions when it came to him? He wasn't human, which she didn't have a problem with, but it was very likely that he did relationships very differently. And she'd never even been in a normal HUMAN relationship before, how could she be ready to be in an alien one? Did any of that even matter? She wasn't even sure he felt that way for her, he most likely didn't, and now that it had been waved in front of her face, she found herself wishing that he did, strangely enough.
Even if he did, there was still the matter of Rose. Rose had made it very clear that she liked him and that she expected Phoenix to fall in line with that idea. And even though she knew that Rose didn't get to dictate her life choices, she didn't want to cause any conflict if there was nothing there between her and the Doctor in the first place. She didn't want to push her friend away again when she still wasn't entirely sure what she'd done the first time.
She honestly hadn't expected the first person she felt any sort of romantic affection towards to be someone who was from a different planet. She'd never even dreamed that it was possible. And she still didn't. There was no way he could feel anything more than friendly towards her, she decided, looking down at her feet and trying to stifle the surge of disappointment and hurt that the thought brought with it. They were just friends and they would remain that way. Besides, she had more important things to worry about at the moment. Like staying alive and figuring out why a Dalek, a creature bred to hate and kill and whom had already killed several people, had let her live.
"Look, you don't have to kill anyone else," she murmured, turning to the Dalek. "Please. You didn't kill me. Please don't kill them."
"But why not?" The Dalek demanded, turning it's eye to look at her. "Why are you alive? My function is to kill. What am I? What am I?"
She opened her mouth to say something else, though she wasn't sure what she would say, but closed it again when the lift stopped on the top floor. The doors slowly opened and she took in everyone. Van Staten, Goddard, and Rose. No Doctor. Her heart fell a little at the realization and she was surprised, not even having noticed that she was expectant to see him. Van Staten whirled around to stare with wide eyes as the Dalek slowly began advancing towards him.
"Don't do anything," Phoenix cautioned, watching the man carefully. "It's beginning to question itself. It's confused."
"Van Staten," The Dalek began, Phoenix following it out of the lift. "You tortured me! Why?!"
"I wanted to help you," the man stammered and Phoenix shook her head at him. Honesty was the best way to go at the moment. "I just-I don't know, I was trying to help. I thought if we could get through to you, if we could mend you." Van Staten was now backing away, frantic with fear. "I wanted you better. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I swear! I just wanted you to talk!"
"Then hear me talk now!" The Dalek answered. "Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Van Staten cringed away, tears in his eyes and though Phoenix still disliked him, she couldn't just stand by and let him die, so with a confidence she didn't actually feel, she hurried to put herself between the Dalek and Van Staten.
"Don't do it!" She cried, eyes going down to it's weapon. She knew it was a large assumption on her part, but it hadn't killed her earlier and she didn't think it would kill her now. "You've proven yourself capable of mercy. You've proven that this isn't all there is! Maybe it used to be, but not anymore."
"There must be something else, not just killin'!" Rose chimed in, the Dalek's eye stalk swiveling around to her. "What else is there? What d'you want?!"
It turned back to Phoenix, though she was pretty sure it was looking at Van Staten. She held her breath, knowing that she could die at any second. And she would die. She would protect Van Staten, even if he had been cruel all day.
The Dalek's eye swiveled back over to Rose. "I want…freedom!"
Phoenix let out a soft sigh of relief. It had changed. They'd just proven that a Dalek could change. She was assuming it had something to do with Rose touching it. Obviously, whatever it had taken from her to regenerate itself, it had taken more than it had anticipated. But it was looking like that was a good thing.
"I can help with that then," she breathed, her heart calming down for the first time that day.
"WE can help with that." Rose corrected, turning to the brunette. "I'm not letting you out of my sight."
Phoenix nodded and the Dalek backed away from them, turning to head down the hallway that connected to Van Staten's office. Phoenix glanced at Goddard and Van Staten briefly before following after, Rose by her side. She was still nervous walking beside the Dalek, but she'd seen that it was capable of sparing life, that it could make the choice. And it had chosen. It was working to be better. It didn't make up for all of the people it had killed, but it was a start. She wasn't as afraid.
That being said, then she had to offer the same courtesy to the Doctor, she realized, thinking back on how he'd been in the cage. He'd been angry and hateful and full of guilt. He'd scared her. A lot. And she still couldn't comprehend that he'd killed that many people or aliens or whatever the correct term was. But she could comprehend that he'd shown remorse. That he did care about what he'd done and he didn't seem to enjoy it. It was why he'd punished himself with Cassandra, why he made it seem like nothing fazed him, because it did faze him. It fazed him a lot, but he didn't think he deserved to be comforted or forgiven.
So, she could forgive him. She could work towards being better about it. After all, what he'd done, he'd done before he'd met her. The Dalek had just killed all those people that day. If she could find it in herself to forgive IT, then she could find it in herself to forgive the Doctor.
Phoenix startled as the Dalek's weapon fired, breaking a hole into the roof and letting the sunlight flood in. Rose stood beside her and the brunette found that she was comfortable enough to close her eyes and bask in the sunlight for a moment, not having expected to see it again.
"You're out." Rose murmured and Phoenix opened her eyes to see the blonde looking at the Dalek. "You made it." She grinned at the Dalek before turning to Phoenix. "I never thought I'd feel the sunlight again. And then you gave me this." She held up the pendant. "Thank you. And here."
The blonde swiftly removed the pendant, placing it around Phoenix's neck instead. The brunette was surprised at how familiar it felt to have it resting around her throat. As if it were meant to be there. She hadn't even realized how strange it had felt without it until she had it back.
"How does it feel?" The Dalek wondered, drawing their attention.
Phoenix glanced at Rose before moving to stand in front of the Dalek. "Why don't you find out? The casing is just battle armor, isn't it?"
With soft whirring sounds, the Dalek began to uncase itself, Rose moving to stand beside Phoenix with curiosity. Inside was a much smaller creature than Phoenix had anticipated. It didn't seem big enough to hold so much hate inside itself. It looked like a small squid with one giant eye in it's center and she could see that it was hooked into the suit, it's small tentacles reaching up towards the sunlight.
Phoenix watched as it breathed, the skin around it's eye rising softly before falling. She couldn't tell if it had lungs or a heart, though she assumed it probably did. The Doctor had said that someone else had made them the way they were. He'd bred them specifically for that purpose. It was sad and tragic. Nothing should have to live that way, there should always be a choice. She couldn't help it as her eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time that day and she would've blamed it on exhaustion again, but knew that it was for the creature sitting before her. It had never had a chance when it first started out, but thanks to Rose it did now.
"Get out of the way!"
Phoenix jumped and turned at the sound of the Doctor's voice, only to gape when she saw him holding a giant gun that he got from who knew where. It was pointed right at them, or rather at the Dalek they were standing in front of. Rose hesitantly moved, but Phoenix stayed where she was. She'd offered the Dalek it's freedom, had offered it a choice and it had taken it. She wasn't about to let anyone, even the Doctor steal that away from it.
"Phoenix, get out of the way!" The Doctor repeated, his tone barely controlled. "Now!"
"No," she murmured, not entirely surprised by his behavior. The Dalek wasn't the only one that had been scarred and hurt by the time war. They'd both lost everything and they were both changing. She just needed to make sure the Doctor didn't let his rage turn him into a monster. "You can't do this."
"That thing killed hundreds of people." The Doctor spat, shaking a little as he held the gun tightly. She could tell that he didn't want it there, but felt he needed it.
"So did you," She told him as gently as she could while still being firm enough to get the point across. "It might not have been today, but it still happened."
The Doctor felt his hearts skip a beat at her words. He'd thought she'd forgiven him, had he been wrong? Did she blame him? Would she hate him now?
Rose frowned at him. "It's not the one pointing the gun at us."
"I've got to do this!" He pressed on, trying to get Phoenix to understand. He needed her to understand him. "I've got to end it! The Daleks destroyed my home, my people!"
"But this isn't the war anymore, Doctor." Phoenix tried, wishing she could console him and help him heal. But there were some things that he needed to hear first.
"I've got nothing left!" He cried out.
"It doesn't either! Why drag it out even further?" She asked him, pleading for him to see what his rage was doing to him, even as the pain in his voice broke her heart. "Revenge does nothing! It solves nothing! All this is going to do is keep you from healing."
"And look at it," Rose jumped in, motioning towards the Dalek. Phoenix cautiously moved out of the way, keeping her eye on the Doctor.
"What's it doing?" The Doctor wondered, though he didn't lower his weapon. The only way he would ever heal was if he knew the last of them were gone. Extinct.
"It's the sunlight." Rose told him, turning back to look at him. "That's all it wants."
"It had a choice between killing Van Staten and gaining it's freedom," Phoenix added, her eyes softening as she looked at the Dalek. "It chose freedom."
The Doctor felt his hearts freeze as he saw the expression on Phoenix's face. She forgave the Dalek and not him? Had he really scared her that badly? "But it can't-"
"It couldn't kill Van Staten, it couldn't kill Phoenix," Rose interrupted. Why couldn't he see it? "It's changing!"
"What about you, Doctor?" Phoenix wondered, taking a few steps towards the time lord. "What are you changing into?"
At that, he lowered the gun, not able to understand how she could side with the Dalek and not him. How was he supposed to just forget everything that it did to him? To his people? "I couldn't-" he broke off and glanced at the Dalek. Phoenix tilted her head in sympathy her eyes softening as she saw him struggle, nearing tears. "I wasn't-" He glanced at the brunette for a moment before looking back at the Dalek, sitting vulnerable just to feel the sunlight. He slowly turned back to Phoenix, his hearts filling with relief when he saw the quiet reassurance in her eyes. "Oh, Phoenix. They're all dead."
"Yeah," she murmured, a tear overflowing and falling down her cheek. "ALL of them are."
"Why do we survive?" The Dalek wondered, joining the conversation. Phoenix turned to look at it, not sure her heart or her mind could take much more. Her emotions were all over the place and everything was too confusing.
"I don't know." The Doctor answered, his tone hardening a little as he spoke to the Dalek, though there wasn't much malice in it compared to earlier, so Phoenix counted it as a plus.
"I am the last of the Daleks." The Dalek admitted, seeming to accept it at last.
"You're not even that," the Doctor countered, sympathy growing in his hearts as he looked at the Dalek. He'd never expected to feel anything but hate towards them, but Phoenix was right. The war was over. "Rose did more than just regenerate you. You've absorbed her DNA. You're mutating."
"Into what?"
"Something new." The Doctor answered, the tension easing from his shoulders. Phoenix frowned at the look he was giving the Dalek. He seemed sad. But she wasn't sure why. "I'm sorry."
"Isn't that better?" Rose wondered, seemingly just as confused as Phoenix.
"Not for a Dalek." The Doctor told them, his voice grave.
Phoenix frowned, not wanting to believe what he was telling her. "But it can make a choice now. It can see the world from it's own perspective now. How is that not better?"
"I can feel so many ideas." The Dalek answered instead of the Doctor. "So much darkness. Rose, give me orders." Phoenix watched as Rose steeled herself, still not able to comprehend what was being said. "Order me to die."
"No!" Phoenix protested, moving to stand in front of the Dalek. "You can't!"
"I can't do that." Rose told it, her voice breaking as she watched it.
"This is not life!" The Dalek insisted. "This is sickness!"
"But there's more than just darkness!" Phoenix protested, blinking back tears. "There's love and beauty and sunlight and so much more!"
"I shall not be like you!" The Dalek retorted and Phoenix heard Rose sniffle beside her and couldn't hold back her own tears at what she was hearing. They'd been forced to live with hate for so long that just the idea of being more was agony to them. They saw it as sickness and pain. "Order my destruction!"
"But there has to be more that you want!" Phoenix tried again, her words catching on a sob. She'd thought that they could be better, that someone would be helped and benefit from everything, but now? It was all going to be for nothing? All of the pain and the death and the fear?
"Obey! Obey! Obey!" The Dalek screeched at Rose. "Obey!"
"Do it." Rose murmured, her voice steady.
Phoenix turned to the blonde, aghast. It was a living creature as well! They couldn't just let it do this! There had to be another option! "Rose, you can't-"
"Do it." Rose repeated, her voice stronger this time.
"Are you frightened, Rose Tyler?" The Dalek asked and Phoenix turned back to it, tears gathering in her eyes. This was actually going to happen. Frantic, she turned to the Doctor, but all she saw there was a sad understanding.
Rose took a few shuddering breaths before she answered. "Yeah."
"So am I." The Dalek admitted, his voice sounding sad.
"Then don't do this." Phoenix insisted, her voice breaking. It had made so much progress, she couldn't believe that it was better for it to be a hateful killing machine. How could that be better? "Please. Please, don't do this."
"Exterminate." Was all the Dalek gave as an answer, closing it's eyes and soaking in the sunlight for another moment.
"Come on," Rose murmured to Phoenix, blinking back her own tears as she grabbed the girl to pull her away. "Come on."
"No, we can't do this." Phoenix breathed, looking between Rose and the Dalek who had started to close itself back up. "No! Rose, we can't…we can't…"
She didn't have the strength to fight the blonde as she was pulled back over to the Doctor, her mind too shocked by what was going on. She didn't have a choice but to watch as the Dalek slowly rose up off the ground, the small circles around it's armor disconnecting and floating out to form a dome around it. Then with a small explosion, the Dalek was gone. As if it had never existed.
Phoenix couldn't hold back her sobs anymore as her legs gave out from under her, Rose moving with her to wrap her into a hug. It had really done it, she realized. It had really thought that it's changed state was that horrible. The Daleks had never had a chance. They were doomed from the start and it was tragic.
The blonde didn't say anything, just rubbed her arms in a soothing manner and let the brunette lean on her as she cried. The Doctor looked down on the brunette, her sobs cutting into his hearts. She had the biggest heart he'd ever seen, finding it in herself to forgive a Dalek of all things. Not only that but she was crying over it as well. Just another reason why he loved her. It was still strange to be able to admit that to himself, but he planned on getting used to it. He still had to offer, but he prayed that the brunette would continue traveling with him. Hoped that he could spend more time with her.
He knew it was a bad idea and that it was likely impossible, but he couldn't help but hope that maybe one day, he could have more with the brunette. Though he had no way of knowing if she even felt the same. That would be disappointing. He wasn't sure what he'd do if that wound up being the case, but for now, he didn't need to worry about it. For now, he just needed to help her the same way she'd helped him. He knelt down beside the two girls, using his eyes to ask Rose for a moment alone with Phoenix.
Rose felt a flash of hurt at the fact that he wanted to be alone with Phoenix, but nodded her head and stood. She'd promised herself that she would give Phoenix this chance, that she would step back. She just didn't think it would hurt so much. She shook her head and hurried out of the room, remembering that she still needed to get her hoody back from Adam's workshop.
As Rose left, the Doctor settled down beside Phoenix and pulled her into a hug, relieved when she didn't push him away, but rather clung onto him, her fingers curling in his shirt as she buried her face in his shoulder. No doubt, she'd had a very stressful and emotionally tiring day. He didn't say anything for a while, just letting her cry as he stroked a hand through her hair, humming the lullaby he'd sung to her in Downing Street. It had seemed to calm her then and he was hoping it did the same now.
It took a little while, but eventually her tears ran dry and she quieted in his arms, listening to him hum in her ear. The song was beautiful and fitting for the moment, the notes sad and long. Absently, she noted that the Doctor actually had a decent voice, his deep timber reverberating through his chest and her entire body as she was curled into him, taking comfort in his closeness and his warmth.
The humming stopped and she peeled her eyes open, not having noticed that they'd shut. She wasn't entirely sure why she was so heartbroken by what had happened with the Dalek, she just knew that it was tragic in it's inevitability. She didn't want to believe that it was better for the Dalek, but she also couldn't deny that it still had that choice for itself.
"I promise." The Doctor suddenly murmured in her ear. She frowned, pulling away and looking up at him as she wiped the tears from her face with her palms. Seeing her confusion, he elaborated. "Earlier, you asked me to promise you." Her eyes widened at the reminder. He hadn't responded and she'd been so worried. "I promise."
"Thank you," she murmured, her voice cracking a little and coming out hoarse from her sobbing. That had been the biggest reason that his reactions had scared her earlier. He'd been so different to the man she thought she'd been getting to know and it was proof that he could become that terrifying person if he let himself fall too far. She'd been terrified to lose him. The him he truly was and she'd been terrified that he would lose himself. She couldn't lose anyone else.
"Would you promise me something?" He requested and she looked back up at him, waiting. What could he want? "Don't leave."
"What?" She wondered, her brows furrowing. Out of everything she could've thought he'd ask her, it wasn't that. She must've heard wrong.
"Don't leave. Keep traveling with me and Rose." He asked again, his eyes pleading with her. He couldn't let her leave. Not after what he'd realized about her, about how he felt.
"You want me to stay?" She wondered, afraid to believe it. "Really?"
"Wouldn't be asking if I didn't." He couldn't help but hold his breath as she thought about it. What if she said no? What if he lost his chance? What if he'd already ruined everything?
She nodded. "Alright."
"Really?" He had to check, worried he might be hearing just what he wanted to.
"Yeah, I'll stay. Of course, I want to stay." And she did. She so desperately did, even after what had happened that day. "But I want sleep first. And food." And they would still be talking more later, but she just didn't have the energy for it right now. "I'm still upset at you."
"That's okay." He relented, though he really didn't like the idea that she was angry with him. "Let's go find Rose and get out of here, shall we?"
He stood and helped her up, steadying her when she stumbled. Now that he thought about it, she really did look tired. Then again, she had mentioned someone trying to kill her - which he would need to ask for more details about, but it could wait a little longer - then she'd been on Erakees and he wasn't sure what had been at the bottom of that tunnel but he did know that he had been able to smell decay on her so he didn't think it was anything good. After that, she'd had to deal with what happened to the Erakees, he knew exactly how that could feel and she hadn't even had much time to deal with it, having immediately been thrown into this new adventure with the Dalek. And she was still injured from the Slitheen. Thinking back on it all, he was surprised that she'd made it through the entire day. Yes, she definitely deserved a night to sleep.
They quickly found Rose outside the TARDIS, waiting for them. The blonde turned to them, her eyes immediately going to Phoenix who offered her a small smile, though it might have been more of a grimace as her exhaustion was beginning to weigh her down. Phoenix moved to stand on the Doctor's other side as they passed the Slitheen exhibit, not wanting the reminder.
"A little piece of home." The Doctor murmured as they reached the blue spaceship. "Better than nothing."
"Is that the end of it?" Rose wondered, watching as Phoenix leaned against the TARDIS, her eyes drooping sleepily. "The…Time War."
"I'm the only one left." The Doctor answered, glancing at Phoenix to steel himself against the emotions that always came with admitting that. "I win. How 'bout that?"
No one had really won, in the end. Everyone lost. It was all just…tragic. Everything about that day seemed to be tragic, Phoenix mused, hoping to put it behind her soon, but knowing that was unrealistic.
"The Dalek survived." Rose pointed out, trying to comfort the timelord before her. Phoenix couldn't help but add a mental, 'Not for long' to that sentence. "Maybe some of your people did too."
"I'd know." The Doctor shook his head before tapping his temple. "In here. Feels like there's no one."
Phoenix reached over and took his hand, ignoring the warmth it evoked in her chest when he intertwined their fingers. "You're not alone."
"Yeah, we're not going anywhere." Rose reiterated, struggling to quash the jealousy that rose when she saw their hands intertwined and forcing a smile.
"Yeah." The Doctor agreed, nodding at the two of them.
"We'd better get out." Adam told them, jogging over to them with a duffle bag in hand. "Van Staten's disappeared. They're closing down the base. Goddard says they're gonna fill it full of cement."
"About time." Rose muttered and Phoenix nodded in agreement. Van Staten had poisoned the world enough.
"I'll have to go back home," Adam said with a shrug, looking between Phoenix and the Doctor. Phoenix frowned at him.
"Better hurry up then." The Doctor responded, not sure what the human was playing at, but not wanting to deal with it either. "Next flight to Heathrow leaves at fifteen hundred hours."
"Adam was saying that all his life he wanted to see the stars." Rose prompted, grinning at the Doctor. Phoenix frowned at the blonde. What? Was Rose actually saying she wanted Adam to come with them? How many boyfriend's did she think she needed? Or was Adam meant to be for her? Or did Rose actually like Adam? Phoenix was too tired to figure it out and just shook her head, leaning it back against the TARDIS and hoping the Doctor would open the doors soon, but appreciating the gentle humming and warmth she could feel the ship emanating at her back.
"Tell him to go and stand outside, then." The Doctor said simply, not in the mood for games. Especially since he wasn't so fond of that particular human, him having left Phoenix behind.
Rose was quiet for a moment. Was that his way of saying he liked her? Was he jealous that she was bringing someone else along? She banished those thoughts from her mind, remembering the look on his face when he'd realized Phoenix was alive. "He's all on his own, Doctor. And he did help."
"He left Phoenix down there." The Doctor countered with raised eyebrows.
"So did you." Rose shot back, her jealousy sparking out at his worry for Phoenix instead of her. She quickly did her best to reign it in, wanting to do better by Phoenix this time round.
"What're you talking about?" Adam exclaimed in confusion, backing up a bit. "We've got to leave."
"Plus, he's a bit pretty." Phoenix chimed in, still confused about Rose's intentions. She was too tired to notice the glance from the Doctor that was quickly followed by a glare in Adam's direction. Rose, however, did not and she felt her heart break just a bit more. Now she really needed Adam to come on board, if only so she didn't feel like a third wheel.
"I hadn't noticed." Rose denied, turning back to the Doctor.
Eyebrows raised, the Doctor turned to the TARDIS door, fumbling in his pocket for the keys. "On your own head."
"What're you doing? She said…" Adam 's words faded out as the Doctor opened the doors, Phoenix going in first and moving over to her backpack.
Peering in, she saw that her feline friend had curled up and fallen asleep. Carefully, she pulled him out and hugged him to her, the cat simply peeking one blue eye open to glance at her before going limp in her arms as he went back to sleep. Rose soon followed the Doctor and Phoenix in and then shortly after that as the Doctor started up the engines, Adam walked in, stumbling back into the closed doors when he took in the expanse of the room.
"But that's impossible." He breathed, looking them all over. The Doctor just rolled his eyes and watched Phoenix as she began to head out of the console room. The poor girl looked dead on her feet.
"Right, Rose. He's your responsibility. Why don't you give him a tour?" The Doctor's voice echoed behind her as she slowly made her way to her room, the TARDIS humming softly at her.
Phoenix gently caressed one of the walls as she made her way into her room, finding a pair of pajamas already laid out on the bed for her. There was a pair of fluffy, purple pants with owls on them and a soft lavender tank top to go with it. Perfect and comforting. Phoenix let Triton hop down out of her arms and onto the bed, where he promptly curled up on her pillow and went back to sleep. She didn't waste any time in pulling her clothes off and yanking the pajamas on before collapsing onto her bed, not even bothering with the covers. As she gently laid her hand on Triton, she was rewarded with him purring loudly, the sound soothing her to sleep.
And there you all go! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if the ending was a bit rushed, but I really needed sleep and so did Phoenix and the way I was writing it was just going to lead into a whole other chapter, so yeah. Let me know what you think! And onto reviews!
Kitsunko: Hey, so no results on the scan yet, but glad you all caught that little bit. As for Rose, hope you enjoyed her reaction. There will be more in the next chapter, but that might be a little bit more. :) As for Phoenix, well, spoilers.
scarlet rose white: So I hope you like what happened in this chapter, still no conclusion on Van Statten's scan, but soon. :)
alvia viridis: I hope I didn't make you wait too long and what can I say, I'm a sucker for a good cliffhanger. It was a bit evil, but made for fun writing! Hope you aren't too upset with me. :)
KittyBear98: Oh, well thanks! Also, I hope you like what happened with Rose, even though it was very short. And yeah, that was really the only thing she had on her so, she made that choice. And I appreciate you being here! Hope you liked this chapter!
Rosealyn: I'm glad that you liked the bit about Van Statten. It didn't really change anything for him, but it was fun to ponder. As for Phoenix, yes, she cares deeply and will go to great lengths to protect those she cares for, even when they don't treat her quite the same, but as you can see in this chapter, there has been some progress in that regard. Hope you liked what happened with Rose. As for Phoenix being adopted...spoilers. I can't give anything away or it will spoil everything. However, I can say that Father's Day will be a turning point. That's all I'm going to say. Not sure when the scan will come back up but it should be fun.
deathb4beauty: Can I just say I laughed so hard when I read your review? Good laughter, not bad. I never really thought about the similarities between Van Statten and Tony Stark, though I should say that I love Tony Stark far more than Van Statten. And I'm so glad that you feel that way. I try really hard to really delve into each character's head, not in a weird way, but I think you know what I'm saying. :)
Momochan77: I hope this satisfied at least some of your curiosity, though I know the bit with Rose was short. It does have a purpose though. I'm not sure she would've come to the entire conclusion she did without a little nudge. Also, hope you liked the Owen bit. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you liked this chapter!
And there you all have it! Hope you all liked the Doctor's reaction in this chapter and the end scene and just all of it! Let me know what you think about the beginning part, because it was really hard to write Owen and Rose, but I hope you all liked it! And I hope the scene with the Dalek made sense. Let me know! Love you all! :)
