Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah!
Chapter 28.
Gustave looked at his mother once again, his eyes suddenly looking fearful, and guarded, "Yes, Mother, I realize that you love Father now, what about but back then. Did he kill the Vicomte and force you to run off with him, and marry him?"
Christine blushed and then looked at her husband meeting his gaze and then back at their son, "No Gustave, your Father did not kill the Vicomte, and he did not force me to run off with him."
Gustave sighed in relief, "So then you did realize that you loved Father, and he realized that he could not run around the opera house killing and kidnapping people either?"
Christine again looked at Erik uncomfortably, "No Gustave, that was not quite how it happened either. You see I did believe that I loved the Vicomte and not your Father, and I continued to believe it for a time. But I went with your father willingly, although my willingness was forced upon me by circumstances. Live is not always black and white, it exists in many shades of gray. Your father was not perfect back then but he has always been there for you and your sister, and even for me. Of course back then I did not quite realize what your father truly meant to me. I had never really seen him as a man; I mean really see him that way. He had been an angel, father, friend and advisor, but until that first time that he took me to his lair I had never truly seen him as a man." She turned to Erik and smiled, "Despite the fact that it was he himself who had repeatedly told me not to believe in ghosts or angels."
Erik laughed, "Well save for one. It was sort of nice to have someone think of me in such a way. Demon was my more common supernatural moniker. Even if I had been in my right mind it would have been hard to see the look of admiration and devotion that you always had on your face when speaking of me change to anger, fear and disillusionment. Of course with my limited experience with humanity, I mistook your emotions for hatred. That really hurt." Erik admitted. "It drove me deeper into my feelings of abandonment and despair. To have the one person in the world who had never looked upon me with anything but affection and adoration to look upon me with hatred; the same emotion that I had always received in almost any place that I had been."
Christine continued, "Well that night we reached the nadir of our relationship, but at the same time I finally began to see your father for who he really was and not what anyone else told me about him, or what my own imagination had told me. You see, even when I was his 'guest' for those two weeks I had still not looked upon him as a man. I was too angry and afraid of him to think rationally. I had never thought to see the world from his point of view. How hard it would be to be hated and shunned by everyone, even your own mother. Even as he dragged me to his lair and pressured me into marrying him it was the first time ever that I had viewed him as a man, a real man, maniacal and dangerous, no doubt about it, but real."
Erik interjected, "But you hated me for what I had just done, and for the deaths that I had caused, and your hatred was not without justification."
Christine agreed, "Yes I hated your actions, but I never hated you. I was incapable of doing so. To hate you would have been to hate part of my own soul."
Erik again interjected, "But I, of course, did not realize that. I thought that you hated me as a man and a monster."
Christine smiled at him and cooed, "Never a monster, darling, just a terrible man who had duped me into giving him my mind, my spirit and my voice. I was almost as angry with myself as I was at you for allowing myself to be deceived for so long. I felt gullible and stupid and blamed you for it. Raoul, looked very good in comparison. I felt safe, and taken care of when I was in his arms. I didn't have to think very hard, or worry too much because he did all of the thinking and the worrying for me. I wanted to love him over you. He was handsome, kind and heroic. You seemed to be the complete opposite of Raoul in every way. Raoul risked his life and limb for me, that night, to try to free me from your grip. He and the Persian walked down your booby-trapped path straight into your trap. He was naïve to think that he could face you openly and obtain my release through a fair fight."
Erik admitted, "I could never prevail against him in a 'fair' fight as he would have wanted. I did not have the luxury of behaving like a gentleman when it came to a fight. Unlike the boy I had not been trained in the gentlemanly art of dueling. To prevail, I had to fight in the shadows, to keep the boy off his game and on guard for anything that I might do. He was not prepared for that sort of encounter. The Persian should have known that the Vicomte did not have a chance at winning in a physical match with me, but I think that he took him down in the hopes that he could talk me out of my self-destructive actions without the threat of bloodshed. I also believe that he showed the Vicomte the way down to protect me from the large and unruly mob that the boy's allies were busy assembling to see to my demise. A rabid collection of righteous citizens, vigilantes and miscreants, all ready to put an end to my worthless and murderous existence. Of course they too were walking straight into a trap. I had enough dynamite left over from the Commune to blow them all to Hell; as well as, perhaps, ten city blocks that contained many of Paris' finer treasures such as the Louvre, and the Imperial Palace."
Gustave swallowed and looked at his father in shock, even Meg gasped in horror.
Gustave asked tentatively, "You wouldn't have Father would you? All those innocents?"
Erik continued, "I would have son. In my twisted mind, they were all out to get me, and it was merely a defensive measure. A man can justify almost anything, to himself, when he becomes trapped in a prison of his own making. Fortunately neither you nor your sisters have ever known what it is like to be totally alone and desperate. Unfortunately, I knew it all too well. I was seemingly without any other options for escape other than to stop them all. It was one man against hundreds. My sense of humanity and morality, never keen, had fled by then, leaving behind the most basic animalistic desire for survival. Like a bee feeling threatened, or a snake coiled to bite, I was ready to sting back to bite back simply because I possessed the power to do so. I did not think of the approaching mob as fathers or brothers but as baying hounds ready to attack and destroy me. I admit that I was ready to die, but not before I had one more moment to live. One moment of bliss where I could pretend that I had a willing, loving and living bride, who would proudly claim me as her husband?'
'I felt such a moment to be my due, restitution for living a life of love denied, and being forced to live outside the circle of humanity. It was the final act in my tragic true-life opera where I, the flawed but still deserving hero, received one final moment of feminine tenderness before marching off to a sure death in battle. Once your mother was dressed in her bridal gown, I madly began to play my opera on my organ, as I knew that we were about to have guests and I wanted to show them the way to my traps through my music. I played the most cloying and yet seductive portions of my opera, in part to infiltrate their souls with both my power and their fear of me, and Christine's as well. My music mocked them, taunted them to come and face me. As I paused for a moment, I could hear the Vicomte and the Persian coming exchanging whispered conversation, but my ears were better than most men's. I was accustomed to listening to hushed conversation between potential foes and thus was able to discern even whispers when I concentrated. I heard my old friend give a warning to the Vicomte to keep his hands at the level of his eyes, and to proceed with caution. I smiled in anticipation of my trap being sprung and the two men being thrown right into the heart of my maze. Christine tried to warn them, but it was too late r my trap was sprung and they both fell into my maze of death. My trap had worked precisely as I had projected it to do. I could hear their gasps of surprise and anxiety as they realized that I had caught them. The Persian called out to me and demanded, "Erik, release us at once. We are not here to harm you, just to ask that you let the girl go free."
'I laughed, "Now why would I do that Daroga, when I have her dressed and ready to marry me? Since you and your new friend are at the moment rather indisposed I wouldn't exactly say that you are in a position to negotiate with me."
'The Persian replied, "You are not yourself Erik. Think doostam, when you were back in Persia you were offered some of the most beautiful women in the country by the cursed Shah, women who had no choice but to be at your beck and call and yet you refused each and every one of them because you knew then that they could never love you, and you did not want to force them into doing so."
'I growled, "That has nothing to do with the present situation, and that was a long time ago, perhaps my appetite for forcing women to love me has finally been lit."
'The Vicomte shouted, "You leave her alone. I am warning you Monster, if you harm Mademoiselle Daae in any way you will be held accountable. Christine are you alright?"
'I gave your mother a threatening look, silencing her, and then laughed at his threats, "Let me guess boy, you are going to miraculously escape from my maze and don your best suit of the shiniest armor and demand that we fight on the field of honor. I am afraid young man that will be unable to accept your demand that we settle this matter on a field of honor."
'The Vicomte spat, "You mean that you have no honor to settle? Well I didn't mean that. You will be taken into custody by the authorities and made to answer for your many crimes. Justice will be served."
'I laughed, "They will have to catch me first, and I assure you that they will never be given the chance to do so."
I heard the Vicomte speak to the Persian, "You bade me to come unarmed, and promised me that you could reason with him and that you could talk him into releasing Christine unharmed. Yet he seems disinclined to listen to either of us. You claim that he is an intelligent man, and not a monster, and yet he is so bloodthirsty that he will even kill you, a man who claims to be his friend."
"I am his friend." The Persian insisted, "But right now he is not thinking rationally. You do not know Erik as I do. He has been put through all sorts of trials and it has finally caused him to snap. I know the man as he really is. He is a good man in his heart. He only wants the same things that every man does, but he has been denied even the most basic needs for his entire life."
'The Vicomte replied, "I don't care about his past, only what he has become and he is not a man, but a monster."
My old friend admonished him, "Spend an hour in his shoes and you would see who the monsters really are. It is we who have changed a gentle man with great potential for giving into a madman. You and me, all of us; he did nothing to deserve the fate that life has granted him up until now."
I hissed, "I don't need you to fight my battles Daroga. The boy will never see me in any way other than as a monster."
'Nadir replied almost calmly, "Release us, and he will see you in a better light. He will become acquainted with your humanity, the real you, who hides behind your mask of ferocity. You are really a kind and loving man forced into being someone that you are not. You do not want to harm us, or Mademoiselle Daae. If you kill her fiancé she will never forgive you. Is that what you want?" he asked me.'
'I turned to your mother and I threatened her, "Marry me now and I will let them live."
'She looked back at me with loathing in her eyes, "You would have an unwilling bride? I would hate you forever if you force me to marry you, either way, whether you spare them or not."'
'I laughed maniacally, "Forever is a long time, my dear, and we don't have that long left to live. I am used to hatred. I have been the recipient of such from the moment that I was born. Even my own mother hated me. Who do you think made me my first mask? Can you imagine that Christine living an entire lifetime receiving nothing but fear and loathing from your fellow man? Why should I care if my bride is included in their ranks? You would hardly be any different than any of the others? Why wouldn't you hate me?" I added bitterly, "Everyone else does." I pointed to my hideous face, "Do you honestly think that anyone could love this? That anyone could love this? Where could I expect to find a person who could bear to be with me? Perhaps among my fellow corpses in a cemetery? Maybe I could find one of my own kind to love me." I added, in despair.
"I don't know." Your mother admitted softly and fearfully, "But in forcing me to marry you you would hardly be helping me to love you. I am sorry that I love Raoul and not you as a man. I always admired you as a friend and teacher, you were my angel and still could be, we…"
I interrupted and laughed at her attempts to reason with me. I was not in the mood to be reasoned with, "It is too late for me to entertain such an offer Christine. Besides even if I did you would not keep your promise to me. The moment that I let you and your foppish Vicomte go, you would forget all of your promises to me. You would flee from me, and from here as fast as your feet could carry you and never look back on the wretched demon that held you prisoner. You and he would continue to send your minions to me and hunt me down like a rabid beast, not stopping until you killed your prey."
"What are you talking about?" Your mother asked. She was innocent of the attempts at killing me but I did not yet know that. I had wrongly assumed that the Vicomte had told her about his reward for me, and was supportive of it. It did not dawn on me that he had not told her. In my eyes a couple should be honest with one another, but of course the Vicomte's ways were different from my own. It was his belief that a woman was a fragile creature that was in need of protection, even from the truth. The only women that I had known my Mother, Patrizia and Antoinette had all been quite strong-headed and somewhat independent. It did not occur to me that there was a different way to treat a woman, other than as an equal. I mean, I knew that men and women had different roles, but still it did not occur to me that the Vicomte saw your mother as a fragile doll to be coddled and protected.'
'Of course that only made me more angry that she would deny that she had asked for the Vicomte to do so. I lashed out at her once again. "You wanted me disposed of, without a thought for all that I had done for you. How I befriended you and nurtured you for all those years, yet once you saw this it all disappeared, and all that you wanted was to see me dead so that I would release my monstrous hold upon you." She looked stricken and stepped back away from me her eyes a mixture of fear and denial, but I continued, "Enough of your lies and naivety, you will consent to marry me or your Vicomte may remain in my maze and die. As an added incentive for your cooperation, should you not choose to marry me I shall detonate my entire store of dynamite, and blast the center of Paris and all of its inhabitants to rubble."
She gasped, "You wouldn't dare. Hundreds could die?"
I sneered, "What of it? My time is running out, if you do not come with me and marry me now, then I will lose my chance at escaping; the mob will kill me if I do not kill them first. Don't you see darling I would have no choice So what shall it be? Make your choice." I demanded.'
I heard the Persian attempt to reason with me, "You do not want to do that, Doostam. You are not really that man. Mademoiselle, you do not need to marry Erik he will not force you to do so. He is a good man at heart if you let him be."
I replied bitterly, "That is not what you said after Buquet's death. You walked away from me, and now you betrayed me by bringing the Vicomte down here to kill me that is not what a friend does."
"No, Erik, we came to reason with you. The Vicomte has given me his word that he will let you go free if you release Mademoiselle Daae unharmed. You and I can still go to the Argentine. You can live out the rest of your live in peace," the Daroga offered. "Isn't that right Vicomte?"
"Yes." The Vicomte choked out reluctantly.
'Of course I did not believe the Persian. In my eyes he too had betrayed me, "And all my problems would be over. The world would suddenly love me, and my face would become handsome just like the Vicomte's and we would live happily ever after." I mocked sarcastically. "You once lured me to Persia in the same way, telling me that a man of my talents would be accepted there. I believed you and ended up becoming an assassin, my talents honed by your murderous cousin. If I am a monster today it is because he taught me how to become one. Keep your hands to the level of your eyes, Doostam…" I mocked, using the term Doostam for the first and only time ever."
Erik turned away upset at what he had just explained. Why had he been such a fool, the Daroga had not truly betrayed him, as he had thought. He was trying to help him to live. He had even convinced the Vicomte to stand down. The Persian had never been a liar; on the contrary he had always been scrupulously honest with him. Yet Erik had not believed him. He felt that the whole world including the Persian wanted to do him nothing but harm.
Erik continued the narrative, 'The Persian still attempted to reason with me, "Let us out of here, free the girl, and let us flee before the mob gets here. I know that you have way out where we can leave undetected. You and I can take it, and leave the Vicomte to attend to the mob.'
"I will consider what you offer but first I would like to speak to the Vicomte alone." I replied, pretending to consider the Daroga's offer but in reality
I walked to the door to the maze and started to open it. I let the Vicomte out and then quickly shut the door once again leaving the Persian inside. The Daroga shouted to me, "Won't you let me out as well Erik? I will die in here."
I shrugged and told him, "What of it? Isn't that the penalty for betrayal death?" In truth I intended to let him out eventually but I wanted him to suffer for a short time, as a punishment for leading the boy down to me. It was odd, I had wanted the boy to come so that I could put an end to his threat once and for all, but I was shaken by the fact that the Daroga had been the one to lead him to me. I would have suspected my betrayer to be Antoinette. She had always admired the Vicomte, and she was not that pleased with me as of late. But she did not betray me that night, the Persian did. I did not have time for pity for him. I wanted one thing, which was your mother's consent to marry me. I was not of a mind to settle for anything less."
