Chapter 27: Favorite son of Doorn City

The man was crouching behind a banged-up red SUV, green plasma burns decorating the hood and roof of the car. Wearing only a simple UN ballistic vest for armor over his uniform and holding an empty pistol in his hand, the man had a determined and slightly amused grin on his face. Brow furrowed and teeth gritted together, General Van Doorn peeked out from behind the SUV.

"Yeah, you want to get some of this?" the shout rang across the devastated highway.

The thin man responded with a barrage of plasma and the big man ducked his head down. Jumping up, he pointed the empty weapon at the alien, causing it to pull back behind the wrecked car it was hiding behind. With a booming laugh, Van Doorn dropped down and leaned his back against the car once again.

The UN general had been caught in a devastating sneak attack by the alien invaders. His convoy had been reduced to a burning wreckage and most of his men had died fighting an uphill battle against the overwhelming enemy. But if you know the man they call "the Doorninator" and "the Doom Van" you'd know he doesn't give up. Not even against overwhelming odds.

A rapid series of steps emerged from the back of the SUV. Spinning around towards the enemy, Van Doorn saw a single thin man poke its head out from the back of the car, carbine at the ready. Lunging towards the enemy, Van Doorn let out a roar and made himself as big as he could. The alien cowered, and the general grabbed onto its thin arm. Swinging hard, he brought the creature crashing against the side of the big vehicle. Arms and legs flailing like wet noodles, the thin man was no match for the Doorn. Spinning around like an Olympic hammer thrower, Van Doorn sent the alien flying off the highway, its spectacled eyes wide with wonder as it met its doom.

A rapid series of red laser fire emerged from the ledge of the highway behind Van Doorn. Seeing figures clad in unknown uniform firing weapons of a technology level he had never seen, Van Doorn shouted into the night, "You the ops team? Get over here! Not fair if I have all the fun!"

Seeing another thin man dash towards the SUV, the Doorn jumped up and sent his empty pistol flying at the alien at incredible speed. The firearm-turned-boomerang buried into the creature's head, causing it to pull off a perfect backflip before lying still on the highway. The operatives uphill exchanged looks of dismay with each other and Van Doorn let out another booming laugh.

Another thin man dashed up to the other side of the SUV, and the soldiers behind him tossed a flashbang through the air. Yelling out in surprise, Van Doorn closed his eyes as he was caught in the flash, ears ringing and retinas burning. Squinting his eyes, he saw an attractive blonde get ready to toss a grenade towards the alien.

"Hey, over here!" the Doorn yelled, stretching his arms out while blinking away furiously. The grenade flew through the air and Van Doorn caught it, like a footballing muton in the end zone.

"TOUCHDOWN!" the American hero yelled, jumping up into the air and slamming the grenade down over the hood of the SUV. The anti-personnel grenade exploded and the thin man shrieked in horror as the fragments tore apart its disgusting xeno body.

The blonde from before scrambled down the sloping highway as the rest of the squad fired at the enemy across the battlefield. The woman took cover next to him, looking at him with her blue eyes. "General Van Doorn?" she inquired.

The big man answered, "In the flesh. And even I couldn't have held them off forever, so thank you for coming to my help. A lot of my boys aren't breathing anymore, so make sure you take out every last one of these bastards!"

Looking up towards the squad, the big man continued on, "So we heading for extraction? Fine by me. Nice pass by the way! You'd make a great quarterback."

Starting the climb up the ramp, Van Doorn missed the perplexed look on Stoli's face as she muttered under her breath, "Pass? You just jumped to catch it off the air…"

Getting up the ramp, Van Doorn took cover behind a piece of concrete lying on the ground. Next to him a smug-looking Latino with lieutenant's insignia on his shoulder was firing at the enemy. Leaning in closer to inspect his laser rifle, the Doorn let out an impressed whistle.

"I don't know what outfit you're from, but I haven't seen gear like THAT before", he commented.

The soldier gave him a puzzled sideways glance and quipped, "I'm kinda busy here old man. Can't you see?"

With a booming laugh, Van Doorn slapped the man in the back, causing him to lunge toward the edge of the ridge. Scubaman cursed loudly and put out a hand to steady himself on the concrete block.

"You seem to be doing just fine there, sonny! Keep up the good fight!" the Doorn exclaimed, taking off towards the back of the squad. Looking back over his shoulder, Scubaman stared at the man, his mouth hanging open and for once left without a comeback.

Van Doorn pushed up against the back of a large military truck as more thin men dropped down around them. "Goddamn piece of shit thin men not playing fair again!" a Mexican woman screamed from the edge of the truck, firing her laser rifle at the enemy.

Van Doorn peeked out from behind her back, staring towards the aliens taking cover down the road. "Yeah, you got that right", the General agreed, causing the woman to glance over her shoulder in surprise.

"Get the hell back in cover! What the fuck are you doing?" the female operative shouted in a heated tone, drawing another loud laugh from the Doorn.

"Quite the temper you've got there! I like that! A soldier's got to have heart!" Van Doorn shouted, giving her helmet a tap before dashing towards a large SUV in front of them.

Scubaman joined Merlin at the truck and the woman cocked her head to the side, giving him an incredulous look. Scubaman raised his eyebrows and puckered his lower lip, joining Merlin in her disbelief with a small shrug.

With the last of the xeno-scum mopped up, Van Doorn walked up to the Skyranger. Turning to the ops team he spoke in a solemn tone, "I owe you one. Seriously, I wouldn't BE here without your help. Now where do I sign up?"

Scubaman glanced around his people with a puzzled look on his face before voicing everyone's disbelief, "Uhhh, sign up sir? You're a motherfucking general, pardon my French."

Turning around and barking up a laugh, Van Doorn scaled the ramp into the Skyranger. Over his shoulder he shouted, "I'm gonna get another shot at these bastards! I owe it to my men."


A few days later

The hallway in front of the main door leading up to the surface of the underground complex was filled with XCOM operatives. People were whispering and arguing with each other, many raising their voices in disbelief.

"It's a waste of time I say! No way is this bullshit rumor true!" the shout of Merlin rang over the crowd as she argued with the people around her.

"I bet the commander's just fucking with us", came the comment from Cell as she picked through her nails with her pocket knife.

"Fuck me I hope it's true! I wanna see this guy after what I heard!" Wolfer exclaimed loudly, drawing looks from the people around him.

With a hiss, the massive machinery of the blast door came to life, and the locking mechanisms clanged as they released themselves. The door began inching its way upwards and the crowd pushed forwards, base security personnel yelling for them to stand behind the red line. Everyone craned their necks as they struggled to see over the heads of their fellow operatives.

From the crack between the door and the floor, the legs of a solitary figure came to sight. Mumbling filled the hall as the door continued its ascent, now showing the jeans belonging to a man of respectable size and a duffel bag hanging next to them. Torso clad in a simple sweater and a stylish yet modest coat followed, until finally the face of a middle aged, bald man came into the sights of the XCOM personnel. Stepping into the base, Van Doorn smiled widely as he lifted his hand and opened his mouth in greeting:

"Is this where I get to slay the xeno-scum?"