A/N: Hello Reader! I just want to thank you for continuing to support my work. Hope I didn't make you wait too long. Enjoy reading.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Never in a million years could I have dreamt that I'd be here tonight. Not literally standing in the room, as rare as that was but I was speaking more on the fact that I was standing next to Edward Cullen as his date. Yes, date! Believe me it hadn't surprised anyone more than me.
It was very hard paying attention to much else when he was so captivating. I hung on every word, noticed every blink and was dazed by each smile. I was so happy that I felt as if my chest would burst open to expose the heart that yearned for Edward. I was noticing it more and more recently, that it was getting harder to deny my feelings for Edward and I had quickly realized that I now longer just liked Edward. I was already in love and plummeting deeper than ever. It was getting to the point where I could barely look at him without smiling, or laughing or wanting to confess everything to him. It wouldn't be long before I broke and I was just waiting till every bottled up emotion came flooding out at once. I was waiting because that was the only way I'd muster up enough courage to admit how I felt. After all I was use to making a fool of myself. I imaged that my telling him would be no different.
But for now, I was here and I was currently succeeding in keeping my emotions in check. I believed she was the wife of a senator whom had just excused herself to follow up on an acquaintance across the room. I'd met so many important people and somehow many seemed to be pleasantly surprised to meet me. Almost as if I'd done something and I was the only one who didn't know about it.
I tipped back the glass and finished what was left of the bubbly drink and sighed rather pleased that I had gotten through that wave of people without so much as a falter.
"Well, that wasn't too bad," I stated still stimulated from all the excitement. Edward grinned from beside me.
"See and you were worried. But you are enjoying yourself?" He asked. I twisted my head to him and smiled.
"You haven't been able to tell." I hadn't been able to stop smiling the entire time, I was enjoying myself so much, the conversation, though I had to admit I knew very little about politics, but mostly the view. Edward looked sharp in his suit, much like I'd never seen him before. Better, if that was possible. He drew eyes from every corner of the room.
"I'm glad," he said and reached for my now empty glass.
"Let me get you another," I thought about it and believed I could handled one more. Drinking with Alice every weekend had helped build up my tolerance. At least I hoped so.
"Will you be alright?" He asked. He was so sweet, worrying about leaving me here. I'd be fine though. No one would bother me if Edward wasn't near me.
"I'll be fine," I confirmed.
I watched him walk off before I turned back to the dozen of couples that spun gracefully around the room. I couldn't really remember the last time I'd danced with someone. My friends wedding? No. Prom? Maybe? Either way it had been a very long time ago and a complete disaster. I was pretty sure my date had left that night with a few less toes.
However after watching them for a moment I found myself swaying ever so slightly to the music and it startled me when I heard someone briefly clear their throat behind me. I jerked around only to find myself face to face with the Mayor of New York City. Even with my lack of knowledge about people in our government I certainly knew who Leslie Welch was. In fact most women knew him unless they had lived under a rock for the last four years. After all he was voted by women from all over as the forth most desirable man in the world. This only meant that he was almost too good-looking to be true. The youngest Mayor in the history of, well forever at twenty-nine. He was also tall with a head full of rich auburn hair. And I couldn't make out the color of his eyes but they were somewhere between brown and gray.
I just prayed that he didn't smile at me. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I was in no such luck so I just gawked as he pulled back his lips to reveal two perfect rows of pearl white teeth.
"Bella Swan." He stated. I was astonished that he knew me and it read on my face.
"You're surprised that I know who you are?" I nodded. I couldn't do much else.
He slipped both hands in his front pocket.
" I always make a note of knowing whom I let in my house," He grinned.
"Especially if they are as gorgeous as yourself." My face heated up immediately as I turned my eyes to the ground. I took a moment to clear my head, and it was easy when my heart wasn't pounding in my chest. Weird, all gorgeous men made my heart race.
"I see you're as big a flirt as I've heard," I gasped as my head snapped up. I had't meant to speak out loud. Sometimes I honestly didn't understand why my mouth always seemed to have a mind of it's own. Leslie stared at me a moment before he burst into laughter.
"You are exactly like Edward described you." he chuckled.
"You know Edward?" I asked, then something hit me. "Wait, Edward told you about me?" That surprised me. What reason did Edward have to talk to the Mr. Welch about me? I was also curious as to how exactly did Edward describe me but I just couldn't bring myself to ask.
"Of course. When he came back to drop off your donations?"
"Donations?" As in more than one. I didn't remember making any donation. Edward stated that it had all been taking care off.
"Yes. I've been meaning to thank you. You made one of the largest donations we've seen tonight…."
My jaw fell open. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. I heard that most donations where more than $500,000. A few months ago I could barely pay my rent, much less my bills. I was still catching up on payments. There was no way. He must have the wrong person. The wrong Bella Swan.
"One million dollars will go a long wa-,"
"ONE MILLION DOLLORS!" I yelped louder than I'd planned. Heads turned to me. My heart dropped to my feet and I felt like I was going to faint. There was no way that I could donate one million dollars to anyone. If anything, I should be on the receiving end but I knew that Edward had done this. He'd made a donation in my name and I was pretty sure that he was hoping that I'd never find out. I wished I hadn't.
"Are you okay? You look a little pale." The Mayor stepped forward. Now I understood why everyone was so interested in meeting me. They wanted to meet the women who donation one millions dollars to Haiti. I took a few deep breathes to calm myself. After all what was done was done. No changing the good deed that Edward had done. But I would have to thank him later, if not for the people of Haiti.
"I'm fine." I regained control of myself. He seemed to believe me cause he backed away.
We chatted a few more minutes about how'd he'd come to know Edward before he asked me politely to dance. I denied him at first but I could only say no so many times to the Mayor as well as my host. It was rude, he joked but it was more than enough to get me to place my hand in his before he lead me to the dance floor. I warned or tried to warn him I wasn't very good at walking much less dancing but he didn't seem to mind.
I had to admit that Leslie Welch was so much different than I had imagined. Just like someone else I knew. He was indeed a huge flirt but I believed that was just a part of who he was. Most of it was harmless unless you didn't want it to be.
He was smart, a graduate of Yale as well as closet comedian. I hadn't stopped laughing since we'd started to spin. I was very surprised to find out that he enjoyed Family Guy as much as I did.
Our conversation stayed small as we spun around slowly. The dance started off rather rocky due to my lack of coordination but soon I was so engaged in our exchange of words that I hardly realized that we were dancing at all. I felt like I was gliding around the room with him.
The music ended softly and he lead me back to where he'd greeted me. I glanced up and Edward was standing there holding two glasses of champagne. I couldn't quite read his initial expression but his features soon turned soft so I paid little attention to it.
"Ah Edward," Leslie stated guiding me back to Edward's side.
"Where did you find this one?" The Mayor stated winking an eye at me. I blushed slightly. A huge flirt like I said. He put out a hand to Edward and without a second thought I took a glass from Edward so they could shake hands.
Edward smiled and stated.
"Actually Leslie, she found me." This also made my face turn tomato red.
"Well don't let her out of your sights." Leslie gracefully took my free hand and pulled it his lips. He softly kissed the back of my hand.
"Or I may just take her from you." Again my face brighten but my heart didn't speed up.
" I'll be sure to keep that in mind," I caught Edwards gaze at that moment, and for some reason I felt as if he were talking more to himself than Leslie. I didn't say anything about it as Leslie left us but there was one thing that we needed to talk about and it had something to do with the extremely large donation in my name.
"You should have just thanked him. I don't see what the problem is," Alice stated. She arrived recently and I was walking her to the refreshment table.
"Of course you don't. Alice, your brother just donated more money than I've ever seen in my life under my name. Doesn't that strike you as odd? I just don't understand why?" Just thinking about was making my head hurt. As his date I wasn't required to contribute anything. So why go out of his way? I mean he'd already matched my donation, why add one for me. When I brought it up he only smiled and shrugged, I never got answer. I really hated it when he did that.
"Maybe he's just a nice guy? Maybe he just wanted to do something nice? I don't know. What I do know is that you shouldn't worry about it. Edward never does anything he doesn't want to do. He had his reasons." Alice popped a small sandwich in her mouth. I sighed. I guess she was right. I just wished I knew what that reason was but I dropped the issue and never both it up again. Really what was the use.
The night began to grow more entertaining, I danced more than I had in my whole life but I never tripped, or even stumbled. I danced with what seemed like everyone, even people I knew, Jasper, Emmett which just used that time to make fun of me, and the Mayor again. However, the one person I hadn't danced with was the one person I was waiting for the most. I tried not to let it get to me but Alice never missed anything.
"What's that jerk doing?" she muttered glaring daggers across the room. We were taking a small walk around the ball room.
"It's fine Alice," and even though I said the words I couldn't stop myself from glancing over to where Edward was talking to his brother and Jasper.
"Look at him," she snarled stopping in her tracks. "I should go over there and smack some sense into him," Alice hadn't even finished her ramble before she was already stomping towards her brother. I rushed forward, grabbed her tiny elbow and redirected her toward the balcony.
"Oh no you don't!" I voiced pulling her outside. We could actually both use a little fresh air. She muttered something but I didn't catch it. It was a gorgeous night, cold but the sky was clear and every star in the heavens seemed to be blinking down at me.
"Feels good right?." I exhaled. I hadn't realized how stuffy it had been inside. I closed my eyes for a moment to breathe deep before I opened them to admired the beautiful backyard that was lit up with a net of white lights. It was so pretty because the small lights reflected against the snow that had fallen only yesterday. It would be a white Christmas.
I was so caught up in the view I didn't notice that Alice had turned to me until she sighed. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes. I was prepared to face her glare but was alarmed to find her expression extremely disappointed.
"Alice-"
"When are you going to admit it?" She cut me off.
"Admit what?" I asked truly unaware of what she was getting at.
"Admit that you love Edward." Her gaze told me that she was serious.
I opened my mouth to deny her claim, but even I knew that it was a waste of time. If I denied it now I would only be trying to fool myself. I knew I loved Edward and now that Alice knew I just didn't have the strength to lie anymore. I relaxed myself and turned away from her again. I couldn't look at her and keep the tears in.
"You're right! I love him." I stated. "But it doesn't change anything."
"What do you mean it doesn't change anything. It changes everything." I exhaled again, suddenly exhausted. I didn't really want to hear her right now. I mean I had been doing so well. Besides she wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know, except it was being stated out loud. It was totally hard to swallow that way.
"You love Edward Bella, you need to tell him."
"No."
"Why not!" she snapped. I stared at her. I'd never actually seen her like this before.
"Because…" I was already on the brink of tears. I had been holding them in so long I was amazed that they hadn't started to flow already.
"I didn't see what the problem is" She said. Of course she wouldn't know how scared I was. How much I wanted and at the same time didn't want to know what his response would be.
"The problem is I'm afraid Alice." I snapped back. Tears where already breaking down my face. Sorry Alice. I thought. I didn't want to mess up what she'd worked so hard to perfect.
"Afraid of what?" Alice stepped forward and touched my arm. I turned away. I didn't want to talk about it. Didn't even want to think about it. I wiped at my eyes.
"Bella please talk to me." Something in her voice called to me, telling me that I needed to get this out. That Alice was the perfect person to let it out too. I sighed and turned again to face her as if I was facing my own self.
"Of everything. I'm afraid of everything. I'm scared that once I tell him nothing will be same, that everything will change. That I'll lose myself. I've been hurt before. I'm not really sure I can go through that again." I was talking about a few years ago. The real reason I had come home after college. I'd been dating Jason since our second year at college and two weeks before gradation I caught him in bed with someone else. I had given so much to him that I couldn't just move back home to forget him, I had to leave that part of me behind. I needed to go someplace were I wouldn't be reminded of him. New York seemed like the perfect place.
" If only I were different. Better. Then maybe I'd have the confidence but I'm so scared that he won't choose me?" I had never said it out loud before and it was taking me to an emotional extreme. I had never cried about it before either. Maybe because this was the first time I'd admit it to myself. I was scared of rejection, scared of getting hurt.
Alice reached up and touched my face, wiping my tears as she did. She gave me a small smile.
"Well isn't that's up to Edward to decide, but you'll never know if you don't try." Listening to her, I found her words to be true. Of course they were. She was always right after all. I knew what I had to do, but I still feared to out come.
I nodded but the tears still continued to pour down my cheeks. Alice pulled me to her and I bent over the cry into her shoulder. As embarrassing as it was, I just couldn't stop. Tears came even when I tried unsuccessfully to hold them in. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe I wasn't suppose to hold unto them.
So I let myself cry. I let myself feel for the first time everything that I had been bottling up.
I wasn't really sure how long I'd cried but I had admit I felt a lot better. Like a small weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I hadn't cried like that in a long time.
"Better?" Alice asked as I pulled back slowly. I nodded.
"Thanks Alice."
"Anytime," she grinned.
I started to wipe my face trying to fix what I'd damaged. I hoped the Alice had given me water proof mascara. Alice stretched up to helped.
"Head to the bathroom to fix the rest." She advised. Wow I must look like a train wreck.
"Okay," I laughed. "I'll be right back."
I left her and pushed through the crowd as fast I could. I didn't want anyone to get a good look at me so I kept my head down and headed to the bathroom. The bathroom in the hall was occupied so out of desperation I made my way upstairs. No one else was up there and I wondered if it was off limits. I hoped no one saw me as I climbed the marble stairs to the second floor.
Finding the bathroom was harder than finding a needle in a stack of hay. There were so many rooms, rooms that I wasn't even sure what they were.
I pushed open what felt like the twentieth door I'd come too. It wasn't the bathroom either but it was a room I recognized. By the large collection of books sitting neatly in bookcases that lined the room I was saying it was a library. Well either that or a study. There was a large desk, oak or maybe cherry wood that sat on one side of the room in front of two glass doors that could open up to reveal another balcony. The only light came of a dim lamp on the desk.
Captivated by the amount of books I stepped into the room. The mayor had mentioned that he liked to read. I went to the bookcase across the room and glanced at his collection. It was really impressive. As a writer I enjoyed a vast assortment of books like Leslie had here.
It twisted around when I heard a sharp sound and found a man standing in front of the door. A door that was currently closed, I noticed. I half expected it to be Leslie but was surprised when it turned out to be James Deswell from Matheson Enterprises. I hadn't even realized that he was here tonight.
"James!" I sounded surprised after all he had surprised me.
"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." he put his arms up.
"I didn't realize that you were here." he stated stepping further into room.
"I'm sorry. I was just browsing, I'll leave you alone." I stated as I took a step toward the door. For some reason I didn't feel quite safe being alone with him. Especially after he'd locked the door.
"It's fine. You were here first." he smiled. It wasn't a smile that calmed me, more like made the hairs on my arm raise but I tried to appear as if he hadn't disturbed me at all.
"No, no. I was about to leave anyways," I lied trying to rush passed him but he stopped me by moving quietly in my way.
"It's alright Bella. Stay please, I insist." I gazed up at him. His face was relaxed and soft but there was something distressing in his eyes. I turned away.
"Good girl." I didn't like his tone and it made my heart beat rise.
I moved back toward the desk, as far away from him as I could. I watched him as he eyed the shelves of books. But every now and again my eyes would dart toward to the door. I wasn't sure why I was so on edge. I had nothing to fear of James.
Right?
"I meant to tell you earlier, how beautiful you look." He spoke still browsing the Mayor's collection. His back was never quite towards me.
"Thank you. So do you." I knew I wasn't doing a very good job at hiding my anxiety, my body was rigged and I my voice held a hint of hesitation. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.
"You seem tense." I tensed even more then.
"Tense? I'm not tense." I lied. I heard him chuckle to himself. I moved to peek at the Mayors desk to break my stiffness. There was nothing of consequence on the desk, just a newspaper from earlier today and a letter. I didn't read it.
Only a few seconds had past but it felt like hours. Suddenly I felt a hand touch my hair. I jumped and spun around. I hadn't even heard him cross the room.
"See you are tense." I couldn't even lie now. Yes, I was nervous. I was slightly scared to be honest. James was giving me the creeps staring at me the way he was.
"I think I should be going now." I moved to past him, but her trapped me again.
"But I just got here," He grinned as he took a lock of my hair in his hand and brought it his nose. Oh my god, was he smelling my hair? If wasn't truly freaked out before, I was now. I had to get out of this room.
"Yes but Edward is waiting for me so," I figured that would get him to think twice about what it was he thought he was doing. And even though it was lie, I prayed that it would work.
But instead of allowing me to pass he started to laugh. I stared at him as if he'd gone mad.
"You are smarter than I thought,"
I wasn't following him but then again my main focus was on the door across the room. Spotting this small opportunity of distraction I sprinted forward but was instantly pulled back by the elbow. I winced but he didn't acknowledge it.
"I said you were smart not that I'm going to underestimate you,"
I really wished I understood why he was doing this, what he wanted so maybe I could talk to him.
My skin crawled and I pulled away when he reached up and touched my face.
"Don't be afraid," he whispered as he tried again. Why did everyone always say that when they were clearly trying to scare you? I pushed him away this time.
"Please don't touch me," I cringed.
"Oh don't be like that," he smirked. Okay so things were not okay now. I was truly starting to fear James. I was alone in a locked room with a man that I didn't know, and seemed like he had some alternative motive.
"What do you want James?" I finally asked. He obviously wanted something and it wasn't just to spend time with me.
He looked taken back. "What do I want?" He pointed to himself. Then he leaned forward and whispered into my ear.
"Revenge," Then his lips slammed down on mine. For a moment I didn't understand what was happening, when I realized what he was doing I immediately shoved him away.
"What the hell are you doing?" I wiped at my mouth but he came again. I struggled against him. But he caught my arms and held them tight. It was hard moving against him but I finally forced my head away. He laughed as I stared at him as if he were an alien or something. He had to be to be doing this.
"Did you know Edward and I went to school together. You didn't know that did you?" He breathed against me.
"I never really liked him then either." He pulled back. For the first time I really saw James for what he really was. A sick, sadistic maniac. I was shocked to hear him talk about Edward but I could tell that James didn't just dislike Edward. He hated him. Maybe even despised him. But why? What had Edward ever done to him.
"You're curious why?" The reason I wasn't a good liar was because every emotion sat on my face. I wondered if fright and disgust were there, because I sure as hell felt it.
"Well it's really nothing except that fact that I could never beat him."
Beat him? What was James talking about?
"Not in anything. He was always at the top of our class. Got picked for the best internships. Even the girls liked him better. He was rich and perfect." James looked both hurt and crazed as he explained to me his reasoning.
I was starting to understand now. James was the highly jealous of Edward, who he was, what he had. Okay I got it but what did that have to do with me. James stepped closer, and I stepped back into the desk until I was practically sitting on it.
"James…"
"There is nothing that I have that Edward hasn't already had." he reached up and touched a curl of my hair that now lay over my shoulder. It sent chills up my spine. Couldn't he see how frightened I was? Or maybe he could. And that was what was causing the horrific smile on his face.
"Until you."
"Me?" I stared at him. He smiled and my heart began to pound in my ears. It finally clicked. He wanted to beat Edward by getting to me first. I was the one thing that he could have before Edward. My stomach turned and I suddenly felt nauseous. But If he honestly felt that I wasn't going to do everything in my power to stop him, he truly was mad. He lunged for me then but me adrenaline kicked in. I rammed him as hard as I could and took off around the desk screaming as I did. However James was too fast and too strong for me. He tossed me back like a rag doll unto the table and forced his weight down me.
"Ahh," I screamed as loud as could. It didn't seem to stop him. Most likely he knew that no one would hear me over the commotion and music down stairs. I could scream all night and no one would hear me. The thought left me faint. He kissed me again as his hands groped my chest.
"Stop it!" I yelled as he continued to kiss me. As I started to scream again but he covered my mouth with his free hand as he licked on my neck. I continued to hit him as hard as I could, but he only grabbed my wrist and pressed them hard to the desk above my head. He wasn't gentle about it. When this was over, I'd have a bruise for sure.
Now the situation had me in fear for my life. I pushed, pulled, kicked and clawed, I did anything to get him off of me. It was very possible that he could rape me here and he would most likely get way with it. He probably had the best lawyers money could buy while I was working for the man he hated. Tears began to flow and all I could think of was Edward. And how much I wished Edward would find me right now. I knew that it was impossible, he didn't even know I was missing but I needed hope. I closed me eyes and pictured Edward.
I tried to remember how I'd gotten here but it was hard to think of anything. I regret so much at that moment, and wondered if I survived this would I ever be able to tell Edward how I felt. I squeezed eyes closed.
"Edward please find me,"
My reality was so distorted now as I fought against James that I even imagined that I heard Edwards voice outside the door.
But I knew that he wasn't there. No one was there.
I was alone.
Major cliff Hanger... I know. I hope it was worth the wait and that you enjoyed it. I went a little darker than I'm use too so I hope I was successful in expressing that to you. If not, then I tried really hard too. Please Review, I would really love to hear your feedback.
