Hey! Another one-shot and another SAINW theme, this one is a mix of 2 requests.

TotalDramaTMNTXD asked for: 2k3 Donnie has some severe psychological damage after sainw - hurt/comfort/family Rated: T

And

Guest asked: Could I have some more about Donnie? He's my fav.

Because Donnie is my favourite too, I'm writing a lot of the Donnie based ones right now. I will get to other that aren't Donnie centric it just takes a little time as other characters are more challenging when you've been writing in one characters perspective all day!

Enjoy x


Safe and Sound

Donatello was curled up in the middle of his room, he was currently in the midst of a panic attack and trying to get his emotions (and breath) back to normal. It had only been a week.

A week since he and his brothers came home after their ordeal with the Ultimate Draco. At least, it was an ordeal for Donatello.

Raphael had taken part in an awesome motorbike race, which he continuously daydreamed and talked about.

Leonardo had gone to his friend's world and was tasked with trying to get everyone back, but it didn't seem to have much of an effect on him.

Michelangelo had gone to a world where he and his brothers were superheroes, but their Father was evil. He had seemed excited at first, but he confessed to Donatello that the Splinter from that world had scared him, after a long night of talking Mikey finally seemed ok about it all.

Donatello? He went to a nightmarish future where the Shredder had taken over, Splinter and Casey were dead, and he was forced to watch as his brothers were killed because of his plan.

This was not helping Don with his breathing.

Worst of all his family were excited to talk about their adventures and went on about them all the time but Donatello wouldn't say a word about his. They asked, of course they did. Mikey wanted to know what he had meant when he had gushed about his two arms, Raph and Leo seemed to think he went to a technophile's paradise. Leonardo had admitted that all he saw was darkness when trying to get Don back, but he figured it was nothing.

How wrong he was.

After hearing his brothers' tales, he had excused himself and started isolating himself altogether.

He needed to understand what happened to him to cause such an awful future and, technically, he was still grieving too.

Grieving over brothers who died because of him, grew apart because of him, hated each other because of HIM. Brothers who were still alive and continuously asking questions.

Even now he could sense them sitting outside his door, a habit they had begun only four days ago. They seemed to be trying to tell him he was not alone in this but, he was. They didn't see what he saw, didn't hear the screams or smell the blood.

Donnie knew he had PTSD, how could he not. He had flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks every day. He was afraid of his brothers going on patrol, he wasn't sure he'd be able to heal a wound when blood sends him over the edge. Master Splinter had even stopped him from training for a while because of the panic attacks fighting triggered.

He was a mess, a useless mess now.

He couldn't fight, heal or even look at his brothers. He didn't have the energy to invent or even come up with ideas. His family were worried for him, but he was terrified.

What if this is how he goes? What if this PTSD sends him running from home which gets him killed or captured never to return and hence, causing that future? He knows he didn't die, his brothers told him themselves that he had disappeared not died.

Maybe that's what he needed to do to change the future, maybe if he died and his brothers found him it would keep them reunited! Honestly it sounded better than living in fear of what he could cause.

"Donnie" Mikey calls softly, "Can we come in yet?"

There's a smack.

"Ow!"

"Seriously Don, we can hear your breathing from out here." Leonardo joins, "We can help you through this"

"If he just told us what was going on it would be so much easier" Raph grumbles.

"No… y-you'd never f-forgive m-me" Donnie whines, he knows he must sound pitiful, but he can't bring himself to care. Why was something so basic as breathing so difficult?

"See!" Raph yells, "It's cryptic crud like that! C'mon Donnie, just let us in and tell us what all this means!"

"Cool down hothead" Leo scolds,

"I trusted you with my secrets Donnie… Don't you trust me with yours?" Mikey tries the guilt trip; his two eldest brothers shoot him a dirty look.

"L-Low Bl-Blow Mikey" Donnie grinds out.

The brothers seem to stand up outside.

"That's it!" Raph yells before something is smacking against his door.

"Stop Raph!" Leo yells, "Open the door Donnie! Before he breaks his shoulder!"

Donnie's eyes widen and he leaps to open the door. He pulls it open just as Raph is about to hit it again and the hothead runs straight into him.

"Nice timing!" Mikey laughs but quickly turns serious when Leo steps forwards.

"I'm going to close this door and you are gonna tell us everything"

"I can't!" Donnie allows Raph to help him to his feet, "Please"

"We can't let this continue" Raph tries to soothe his brother, "You've not been eating, sleeping or even moving since we came back!"

"It's not healthy Donnie" Mikey hugs his immediate older brother,

"We understand that wherever you were sent must have been hellish" Leo joins the brothers after shutting the door, he guides them all to sit on the bed. "And we get that you're afraid of reliving it or us being mad at you but that's not gonna happen. Tell us Donnie, we won't be angry with you and we can show you that everything will be ok"

Donnie melted slightly at his older brother's words but frowned.

"Don't say that, you don't know what the future holds" He whispers in defeat, "You don't know what I've done… What I caused"

"Yeah because you won't tell us" Mikey points out. "This is clearly important enough to scare you, so we need to know! You guys are always protecting me but it's time we protected you too!"

The brothers look at Mikey in surprise, he just grins in response.

Donnie shakes his head as he begins to tremble, there's no way he's getting through this without crying.

"We're here Donnie" Leo hushes as he hugs his three little brothers close. This is all it takes for Donnie's dam to break.

He bursts into desperate sobs and clings to his three brothers, the turtles are a little shocked but make sure to comfort him, reminding him he's not alone anymore.

Donnie tells them everything from the minute he arrived until he was pulled away, he left out no details and emphasised how it was his fault.

"I caused all of that by disappearing off! My stupid, half-assed plan got you guys all killed!" Donnie weeps.

Suddenly it's too hard to breathe again, his vision goes white as he trembles uncontrollably.

He's done it now; the brothers will throw him out in disgust! This is what causes it! He causes it by making his brothers hate him enough to get rid of him by telling them what their future holds!

"Donnie! DONNIE!" His brother's call to him. He feels the hands comforting him as his vision slowly comes back.

"Relax little brother" Leo soothes, "Quiet that brain of yours, we can't compete with that"

Donnie nods shakily as he copies Michelangelo's breaths.

"You didn't deserve that" Raphael breathes, "You should never have went there…"

He suddenly gets up and starts pacing, clearly wanting to do some damage but not destroy his little brother's room.

Donnie watches Raphael pace with bated breath.

"Raphael" Leo calls, Raph looks at them and freezes when he sees Don's expression.

"You… Are you scared of me?" He asks, Donnie flinches.

"Aren't you guys mad at me?" he whimpers.

"No!" The brothers rush to say.

"Why would we be mad at you!" Raph yells but tries not to get too worked up again,

"We have no reason to be" Leonardo explains smoothly, "Donnie… You should never have been sent to that horrible dimension, that was cruel, but you need to see that that's all it is. A cruel dimension, not our future. It could never be our future because we love and depend on each other too much"

"You don't know that" Donnie sighs.

"But I do" Leo chuckles as he squeezes Don tight, "If you did disappear do you really think we'd just let that go? We'd look for you every day because we love you. We wouldn't fall out; we'd unite stronger than ever to make sure we got you back safe and sound"

"Safe and sound" Donnie repeated quietly but nodded.

"We love you Donnie" Mikey hugs Donnie tighter, "We'd never just let you disappear! We'd be scared you were hurt!"

Donatello hugs his only little brother back.

Leo and Raph join the hug again.

"You're a shell brain" Raph growls emotionally, "You shouldn't have kept all that from us, you've been killing yourself over something you weren't responsible for"

"We're gonna get you back Donnie" Leo promises, "We'll help you get passed this and get you back to yourself in no time"

Donnie nods and closes his eyes.

For the first time in weeks he feels soothed, he soon falls asleep in his brothers' arms.


Thanks! Please leave a review with any suggestions! xx