AN - Hello everyone! I hope all my American readers had a lovely Thanksgiving and everyone else enjoyed the week. I'm going to keep this brief as I'm currently binge watching Jessica Jones, but the story will start looking up after this. These last couple of chapters have been rough and I'm thankful to all who managed to bear through it. You're almost to the other side where things hopefully will start getting better. I hope you enjoy!


Chapter 28 - Avalanche

Light stumbled tiredly into the elevator and pressed the button that would take him and L to the appropriate floor. The doors slid shut and the lights flickered from number to number to mark their progress. Luckily the elevator was empty beside Light and L, so Light allowed himself to slump against the wall. A loud yawn escaped his mouth, and he mussed his hair with his hand. He peered through rebellious strands of hair to look at L, and worry sliced through his stomach.

L still held a completely blank expression and his vacant eyes stared impassively. He had yet to speak and had not objected, questioned, or aided Light at all as they stumbled through the streets. He had not responded to any of Light's verbal or physical attempts to break through the stupor, nor expressed any warranted emotion from the events of the night.

It frightened Light.

Admittedly, the night had been hellish, strenuous, heart wrenching, and terrifying, and combined with several murders, L's shock was understandable. L had yet to shake through the shock, and at the current responsiveness, Light could not see L finding his way through soon. But after everything they had gone through and scarified, Light refused to lose L, which along with physically included mentally.

Light would physically attack L if it achieved breaking him from his impassivity. He would yell and scream. He would kiss and plead. He would do anything.

But right now, exhaustion anchored his mind, and L could remain lost in the solace of his mind for the time being. Just until Light could rest and regain some semblance of control.

The elevator door dinged open, and they exited into a hallway. They had yet to see anyone, and Light was thankful for that. He didn't want anyone to see them or explain why they both happened to look so terrible.

Light turned left and scanned the numbers of the apartment. The numbers faded into one another, and Light blinked angrily. Finally, his eyes fell upon number 67, and pulling L along, he walked up and knocked.

The knock echoed through the hallway, and nothing happened for a minute. Then, someone threw the door violently open and jumped eagerly into Light's arms. Light stumbled backward and almost lost his balance. However, he managed to remain upright and glanced downward upon the person who pressed her thin frame tightly against Light's body.

"Misa?" Light asked tiredly. The girl nodded rapidly and lifted her head to gaze into Light's face. A large smile broke across her face.

"Misa-Misa knew Light would come! I'm so excited that you're here!"

Light smiled belatedly at the exclamations and nodded. "That's nice to hear," he responded before pulling backwards and placing distance between him and Misa.

"Misa-Misa can't wait to show Light everything's she's been doing! I've been working super super hard for you!"

Light nodded again. "I know, but it can't be right now. My friend and I have had a very difficult night and need to sleep. I can talk to you about it after we rest, okay?"

Misa looked over at L, and the smile froze on her face. Her eyes widened in surprise as she gazed over L's peculiar figure, and she glanced back at Light to seek reassurance that he was serious.

Light didn't retract the statement and instead entered the residence, guiding L in by his waist. Misa paused at the doorway, before following Light. Her mind whirred with questions especially about Light's friend, but Light didn't appear to want to talk, so she would have to ask later.

She followed Light into the kitchen where he started opening cabinets and searching through boxes.

Misa debated whether to offer her help; however, Light appeared to find what he was looking for and emerged triumphantly holding a box of tea. Placing the bags on the counter, he filled the kettle resting on the stove with water and set it to boil. He then searched through a few more cabinets before removing a mug. He paused and glanced towards L.

"You want any?" he asked, but L gave no response or indication that he heard. He instead continued to stare blankly towards Misa's wall. Light watched L for a moment, and then grabbed another mug and placed it on the counter.

Misa watched from the doorway. She desperately wanted to ask if Light was okay, but Light had said he didn't want to talk, and Misa didn't want to anger him. But didn't she deserve some form of explanation of why Light and his peculiar friend had barged into her apartment? She especially deserved some explanation about the other man. She was okay with Light coming over, but Misa felt unnerved and uncomfortable with the other person.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sharp whistle of the kettle, and she watched as Light slowly poured boiling water into each up and dropped tea bags. He let the tea stew for a minute and vacantly watched the steam float from the boiling liquid.

Once he deemed the tea ready for consumption, he wrapped elegant hands around the cup and brought it to his lips. He took a long sip, and Misa winced. The tea hadn't had time to cool down and must have burned Light. He didn't give any notice to the searing heat and drank some more.

His eyes closed as he clasped the cup. Misa continued to watch unsure of what to do.

"Misa," Light murmured. Misa eagerly nodded, forgetting Light couldn't see her.

"Yes?" she squeaked.

"I will explain everything tomorrow, so don't worry. As of now, however, my friend and I must rest, so I must ask you to direct us to a bedroom."

Misa nodded again. "Of course! It's just down the hall, the last door on the right. I can also set up the couch for your friend."

Light opened his eyes and took another long sip. "One bedroom will suffice," he clarified.

Misa glanced towards the friend as confusion etched itself across her face. He still had yet to give any indication he was aware of the conversation, and it was an odd request for Light to want to sleep together. It made her even feel more uncomfortable, so she tried to think of a way to dissuade Light.

"The bed is only a single…" she tired. Light shrugged.

"That's fine."

"It's pretty small so I don't know if both of you will fit," she tried again, and Light stared directly at her.

"We'll manage," he responded, his voice steely and nonnegotiable. Misa rapidly nodded to diffuse the tension. It was only one night, and it probably didn't mean anything.

"Okay…" Misa conceded, fidgeting in the doorway. Light regarded her coolly.

"I shall see you tomorrow," he stated.

"Yeah, good night."

Light nodded in response, before picking up both mugs and walking down the hallway. He opened the door of the bedroom and entered inside.

L still remained in the kitchen, and Misa tried to think of a way to initiate conversation and ease the uncomfortable silence.

"So how did you meet Light?" Misa asked, gazing expectantly towards L. He didn't appear to hear, and Misa was about to give up until she heard a low, soothing voice.

"It was an accident. A random act of chance," L murmured, turning to look over at Misa. Shadows filled his eyes and strands of obsidian lay askew across his forehead. His face remained untouched, but Misa could see deep sorrow residing in his eyes, and she knew Light must have partially been involved in causing the pain L was experiencing.

"Oh. Are you happy that you met him?" The question hovered in the room, and Misa worried that she had stepped to far.

L appeared unfazed by the question, and his dark eyes expressed deep thought. Seconds stretched past, and Misa twirled a strand of her hair.

"Is anyone happy when they find death?" L muttered to himself. He appeared to ponder the question, before lifting his face to once again peer deeply at Misa. "I don't know. Are you?"

"Yes," Misa answered immediately. No doubt existed over that answer. Light was her soul mate, and life had been meaningless before she met him.

"Oh, I see," L responded, his voice sad and slow. His eyes fell back into the shadows and sorrow, and his sorrowful frame and defeated shoulders sent waves of pity through Misa. Misa knew how hard grief affected someone. She had lost her parents only a year ago, and she knew how it tore and screamed until you wanted to claw it out of your skin. She understood how desperately one wanted to shut up all the voices that whispered scathing words and hideous doubts. She knew how empty and damaged and defeated grief made one feel, and while the once pointed pain had dulled, it never disappeared. It hurt, and Misa wanted to comfort him from the pain, so she crossed the distance and wrapped her arms around his thin frame.

L remained motionless for a second as Misa hugged him tightly. Then, overcome with a avalanche of emotions, he wrapped his own arms around her, pulling her even closer, and burrowed his head into the nook of her neck. Misa let out a sound of surprise as she was suddenly held very tightly, and she could feel L's hands digging into her back in an attempt to pull her even closer. He breathed heavily into her neck, and his hair tickled Misa's cheek.

"Shh…shh…it's okay," Misa murmured in an attempt to comfort him. L held on harder, and Misa started rubbing soft circles into his bony back. She had little experience in comforting someone and no idea of what could cause this extent of pain, but she would do the best she could to ease whatever plagued a friend of Light's.

Speaking of Light, Misa saw him walk back down hallway and pause in the doorway. He stared intensely at her and L, and Misa swore she could see heartbreak etched on Light's face.

Light took a hesitant step forward, and then another, reaching out his hand to caress L's shoulder. Misa took the cue to step away and with some difficulty wiggled free of L's strong grasp. Light took L by his shoulders and turned him around till they faced each other.

Misa could only see Light's face, and it expressed sorrow and regret that crumpled his brow and pulled down on the edges of his lips. He murmured something Misa couldn't hear but caused L to nod, and they began to walk down the hallway until they disappeared into the bedroom.

Misa stared down the empty hallway for a moment or two as she desperately tried to make sense of the situation. Light had appeared abruptly dragging around a grieving friend. Light had originally forbade all contact, so whatever must have happened to the two of them must have been extremely serious. Misa would have to ask tomorrow, but until that point nothing could be done except let Light and L rest.

Misa glanced towards the clock which declared 3:45. She still had to prepare for her aunt coming in from England, but Misa could always just show her around Tokyo to avoid staying in the apartment. She wasn't due until the afternoon tomorrow, so that gave her enough time to figure something out.

Misa yawned, glancing over at Rem who had watched the whole exchange silently. Her grotesque face remained unreadable, and Misa shot her a tired smile. She walked over to the couch then lied down. Tonight had been a whirlwind of questions, and she would need sleep in order to think clearly tomorrow.

"Goodnight Misa," Rem stated in low, cool voice.

"Goodnight Rem," Misa responded as her mind drifted into sleep. The last thought that consumed her mind revolved around Light, and she could only hope him and L would be okay.


L's mind had remained fixated on the dingy motel room as Light dragged him through a blur of dark streets and neon lights. He hadn't been able to distance himself from what happened, and everything that occurred afterwards had felt surreal and distant.

Ever since B, L couldn't feel anything except horrid emptiness. The emptiness bit at the edges of him, hollowed his stomach, and dragged at his limbs.

The emptiness consumed him, negating every other appropriate emotion or concern.

Then after the emptiness had faded, grief and sorrow had begun to tear at him with slow claws that tore through his insides. The pain had intensified with every minute, and his heart crippled at losing a childhood companion.

Swirling thoughts of B filled his mind, but he couldn't banish the images and horrible guilt settled low in his stomach. Murderer Murderer Murderer Murderer his mind had whispered over and over again, until L wanted nothing more than rip his hair out and scream. The guilt mixed with his grief, igniting every nerve on fire until L couldn't think or see anything except Light's guiding hand.

Then they had been in an apartment, and L didn't know where or how or who, and he started emptily into the room as he tried to block out the pain and diminish his misery. Light said something, but L couldn't hear, and then Light left, but L remained unmoving.

L didn't know how the girl's soft voice had punctured his stupor, but her question ruptured the bubble that fettered his mind. It took him a moment to devise an answer, but he found himself capable. She had then asked another question which L did not know the answer. Was he happy he had met Light? That question was too difficult and complex to answer, and so he repeated the question, hoping to divert attention.

The girl had responded immediately and her tone conveyed her joy. For some reason, it saddened L to hear. His response must have conveyed his depthless grief, for the girl then walked over and wrapped her arms gently around him. L had frozen in shock for a moment, and his grief addled brain attempted to make sense of the situation, but when he realized, he wrapped his own arms around her and held her as tight as he could. He buried his face into the nook of her neck, and blond hair blocked out the rest of the world. He wanted nothing more than to forget, to ease the pain, to hide forever, but gentle hands pressed against his shoulders, pulling him away from the girl and turning him around.

Now L could see Light with his wide, caramel eyes that gazed forlornly into L's.

"Let's go to the room," Light murmured, his voice so soft L struggled to hear him. After a moment, L wearily nodded his agreement, and without sparing a glance towards Misa, Light led him down the hallway and into a small room. Eerie, gothic decorations littered the deep purple walls. Disturbing dolls laid on the floor and biblical references filled corners. The room unsettled L, and he pulled himself closer to Light. Light appeared to remain unbothered by the grotesque decorations and walked to the small bed located by a blinded window. Light sat down, grabbed his tea, and leaned back on the headboard, shutting his eyes. Not know what else to do, L walked over and sat next to Light. The bed gave slightly at their combined weight.

Light slowly blinked open his eyes, turning his head to peer at L. A hand darted out to grab the extra cup of coffee which he handed to L. The warmth seared L's hands, but he took it regardless.

"Six sugars," Light stated quietly, "just how you like it." L took a sip of the liquid, quietly approving the sugary taste the infiltrated his taste buds and distracted him for a brief moment.

"Thank you, Light-kun," L replied just as quietly. Light smiled sadly, before reaching out to pull L beside him so he too rested against the headboard. Light wrapped one arm around L's shoulders and pressed his head into L's neck. Their bodies pressed together tightly as the bed barely fit the both of them.

Neither spoke for a moment as L sat sipping his tea with Light resting on L's shoulder. A semblance of peace filled the room as the plight of the night hid in the darkened corners waiting to emerge.

"My dad…" Light finally broke out hoarsely, shattering the calm. L's brow furrowed and his back curved as the night and emotions pummeled back into him. The guilt and grief entered like a hurricane, violently storming against every part of L and drowned everything else out, so he curled up into Light to seek some form of shelter.

L heard Light's breath catch in the back of his throat as a strangled sob pushed its way out. Tears began to sear L's skin, aggravating the cut. L had yet to feel his throat clench as tears pushed their way out of his eyes, and he couldn't decide if he was grateful or not. He still felt crippled with pain, and tears may offer some form of relief or simply leave him with a reddened, snotty face.

No, right now everything was inside of him and neither tears nor screams or cries had escaped. Eventually they would have to, eventually he would have to comfort what he had done.

And, oh what a thing he had done – a horrible, cruel, wicked thing. And what that thing had made him into – the one thing L had promised himself he would never let himself become, and yet here he was.

He had killed someone, and that made him, L Lawliet, a murderer.

He was a murderer.

The word screamed through him, ripping apart moral blocks and decimating every one of his beliefs about himself. He was nothing now, except a murderer.

L realized with a start that this was why B let L write down the last letters. B had destroyed L with his death for not only did L lose one of his dearest companions, but the knowledge of his sin would forever haunt him.

The defeat slammed into L for now he was no better than anyone else. He no longer had moral high ground; he was just as bad as the rest of the swarming masses of humanity that corrupted the world.

At this, a sob escaped L's mouth, and he buried his face into Light's hair as hot tears began to stain his cheeks.

He had lost B; He had lost A; He had lost his innocence and now nothing left existed except to finally face and accept the wickedness of himself and the world.

The tears began to come faster now; the sobs grew louder, and the only thing holding L down was the sensation of Light's soft hair tickling his wet cheeks.

With this, L allowed himself to mourn – for B and A, but most of all for himself.

Next to him, Light had lost himself in his own world of grief.

His father…his father had died. The man who had been present with Light at every stage of his life, beaming proudly as Light brought home another perfect report card or tennis trophy.

For him to die…it destroyed something deep within Light that he did not know existed.

Sorrow and loss crashed over him in waves, and it hurt more than Light could ever try to articulate.

He had allowed himself to cry again, and this time, the tears were not a scam, but real. Real tears caused by real pain that Light had never experienced before.

Light imagined hell to be a constant state of this pain, and he silently thanked the Death Note for forbidding any entrance.

However, shame mixed itself among the sorrow, and the confusing combination of emotions sickened Light. He was Kira, god damn it. Kira would not allow this weakness or incapability to control emotions. No, Kira would have everything under control, and yet Light couldn't do it, and the warring emotions heightened the agony.

The only solace existed in the smooth, curving neck into which Light buried his face. He could hear the sobs that broke through L's throat, and with slow movements, he pulled L closer, wrapping arms around him. He held him close, breathing in his comforting scent, and allowed the pain to tear through him and tears to slip past scrunched up eyes.

He had just lost his father; he had the right to mourn, and so he did.

Light didn't know how long he retained a grief-stricken conscious, but the steady rise and fall of L's chest eventually lured him into sleep.