Haruka had never been forced to work, but, when personally motivated, he'd always done the work of three people. Rebuilding the necessary infrastructure of the kingdom to brace for the long and inevitable droughts they would face came easily to him as it didn't to the others. Even as he tried to become an ordinary person, he found himself standing out.
"See you at home," Makoto said, clapping him on the back. "I need to go to a meeting in the palace."
Haruka nodded and turned toward the bath houses to scrape himself clean of sweat and grime. It was his preferred reward for himself at the end of the day—better when he felt as though he'd really earned it.
When he stripped himself bare and made his way toward the private pool he loved so much, though, a shock of red hair caught his attention.
"Hey, Haru," Rin said, meeting his gaze evenly. "Don't let me stop you."
Haruka glanced around for guards, but saw none he recognized.
"Looking for the anti-privacy brigade? Keep looking. I snuck off," Rin admitted. "I haven't had a moment alone in weeks."
Haruka hesitated with one hand hovering above the water. "Should I leave you to your thoughts?"
"No," Rin said. "I'm not mad at you, Haru." He sighed heavily. "Actually, I kinda wanted to talk to you."
Haruka settled onto the balls of his feet, scooping water from the pool to clean himself thoroughly before diving in. Contaminating the pools would be unforgivable. "What about?"
"The dunes."
Haruka looked at him sharply but said nothing. A day's worth of dust clung to his sweaty skin; it would take a while to clean himself enough to enjoy the pool.
"What were they like?" Rin persisted. Something about his tone set Haruka on edge. "What did you need to bring with you?"
"Salt," Haruka replied. "For preserving meat. I had a distiller, but I wish I'd brought a few more bottles to carry rainwater."
Rin nodded, his gaze far away. "Where did you find water?"
"Why do you need to know?"
"Don't wanna dry up under all that sun."
Haruka's hands stilled halfway down his leg. "You're leaving."
"Not forever," Rin said, but his eyes avoided Haruka's. "I just-I've got too much in my head right now. I need some space, and I can't even bathe alone half the time." He snorted. "The anti-privacy brigade is a bitch to sneak away from. I've been trying to get out here for a week."
"I understand." His throat constricted around the words; with some effort, he swallowed the lump. "You could hide with me and Makoto."
Rin's eyes darkened, and heat spread beneath Haruka's skin. The cool water did nothing to ease it.
"How's he doing?"
Haruka shrugged, scrubbing between his toes to avoid looking at Rin. "He misses you."
Rin's jaw tightened. "And you?"
He hesitated, then made himself meet Rin's eyes. "I miss you," he said seriously. "But if you need space, you need space." It stung like sand in a windstorm-biting his eyes and lungs and filling him with needlepricks of pain. "Don't bother with a camel," he said. "They need too much food. There's nothing out there." His own camel had died some months into his journey; the guilt surged as he remembered. "You'll need something to hunt with. Keep an eye out for vultures."
Rin's hand covered his, and his words ran out.
"Haru," Rin began, his voice thick, but nothing followed it. His adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he withdrew his hand.
"You have to come back safe." He couldn't bear the unguarded look of Rin's eyes and turned away to wash the last of the dust from his skin. "You have to."
"I will."
Haruka slid into the water beside him. As a child, he might've tried to hug Rin, but the distance felt so vast between them that he couldn't bridge the chasm. He remembered the devastated look on Rin's face after their duel and wondered for the first time whether he'd misunderstood the source of his grief. But the words, 'I want you to stay,' felt unfair. No one belonged in a cage.
They bathed in silence, barely looking at one another as the words Haruka wanted to say clotted uselessly in his throat.
