Lying Helpless in Her Arms

Chapter 27 - No B. Davis


The days in New York had never been colder to Brooke. Ever since she came back from North Carolina, in the same flight as Julian she felt as if her life was freezing. She needed him around her but she wasn't ready for it yet.

As days passed her walls grew higher instead of fall down. He was still a constant presence in her life and being around him and do not kiss him proved the relentless voice of her mind that she would survive without him. Except that she didn't want to survive without him.

She had been visiting the studio every week and sometimes more than once by week. It was now one week away of Christmas and she knew the drill. Julian would soon release the crew to the holiday's season and she would only meet him again in the year about to start. Was she ready to go almost twenty days without seeing the man that she loved so much? It had been only a little bit more than one month and a half since she had met him and as each day passed by she loved him more. And as each day passed by she was more insecure not only about their potential relationship but also her role in that. Her walls were growing again but it wasn't to protect her. For the first time it was to protect someone else. It was to protect him.

The way he moved around. The way he talked to the crew. The way he directed some of the rehearsal scenes. Everything about Julian was mesmerizing. The silly grin that never left his face when he was around her. She had made it to the set a few times without him noticing her and she could see the difference in his features when he knew she was there and when he didn't. Also Bianca and Kate had assured her many times that even a blind could see how he changed at her presence. It was as if he was six years old all over again and every time Brooke appeared it was Christmas morning.

Julian was a tortured man. A happy tortured man if that was even possible. He had given up trying to understand how he felt and why he felt like that, the bittersweet element of their 'relationship' was hard to understand and impossible to explain. His days were miserable when he didn't see her. He was doing his best to give her time and space to figure out what they would do. He also used this time to clear his ideas though they had been cleared in the first day back in New York. He couldn't go another day without Brooke. He contemplated how much the brunette girl changed his life from night to day. He didn't even recognize himself anymore and he was happy for the change. He thought he was a better man and he was sure he was happier than he had ever been in his life, even if he didn't have her with him. He thought that thought alone didn't make any sense at all but still it was how he felt.

It was torturing to go days without seeing her and it was even harder to have her around and to not touch her silky skin or do not kiss her velvet lips. But it also made his heart happy. To see her hazel eyes filled of pride while she watched him work. To see her lips opening ajar with lust to kiss him with as much desire as he wanted to kiss her when they were alone in his office or out. To see her playing with her hair trying to distract herself from his devouring gaze. He tried to be his normal self around her. He didn't want to look tempting. He wanted to make things easy for her but he couldn't control himself. There was nothing his body wanted and needed more than to touch her again and kiss her without a care to the world. Just kiss her for as long as life allowed him to.

But he was happy she was always coming back. Even when she didn't have any designs or clothes to deliver. Even when she volunteered to be part of the staff meetings they had once by week.

"Knock, knock" the object of his daydream said from the doorway.

"B. Davis, my favorite costume designer" the broad grin met his face as he walked to meet the woman he did nothing but think about every minute of his days.

"Julls" she hugged the man in front of her. They always did it. Ever since their cab let her in front of her building when they came back from Wilmington they bid and greet each other with a hug.

A hug that wasn't for one second friendly. Starting by its length. They embraced each other way much longer than any friends would. Even if such friends hadn't seen each other for five years or so. It was also a very touching hug. They slid their hands in each other's bodies. The caress always comforted and warmed their hearts and bodies and that's why it was so hard to break the contact, leading them to stay minutes holding each other. Brooke rested her head in his chest and very often closed her eyes as they talked or just stood there.

It was the only physical contact they had except for some occasional and casual handholds when they had lunch or dinner together after some hours 'working'. Lunches and dinners that were the highlight of their days and sometimes weeks. Where he felt like he could kiss her hand the way both of them loved when her eyes closed just like his and they dreamed about reuniting for good.

Still in each other's arms they could feel their heartbeat and how their breathing became heavier. Brooke felt tempted to snuggle in his chest but every single time she resisted the idea. She could only imagine how torturing it was for Julian to have her in his arms and do not deepen the physical contact and before any of her interests, feelings or pain, she always thought about Julian's.

"I missed you around this week" he whispered in her hair still holding her.

"It was hectic. I had to do Christmas shopping. It was so wearing down and frustrating. I've been looking for something to buy to you for the past three days and I can't find anything. I thought maybe seeing you again would give me some inspiration" her eyes were still closed as her face rested in his chest, her arms wrapping his waist.

"I have to confess I had no problem at all buying yours" he teased. He knew how to get Brooke Davis crazy and he was positive he had just done it. And as in so many other times he was absolutely right about the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

"You are so telling me" she detached her body from his and for a moment he regretted the banter he was about start.

"It is only fair if you tell me yours too"

"I just told you that I have no idea of what I will give you!" she slapped him playfully in the chest "Jerk" she smiled and there was nothing that she wanted more than to kiss him right there right then. The way he smiled at her knowing that he had provoked her just like he always did and she had easily picked up his bait.

"So when you tell me, I tell you, I promise but for now I can assure that you will love it. Scratch that, you will love me for that" he walked back to his desk smirking and imagining her lightheartedly infuriated face. But this time he couldn't be more wrong. He was playing with fire and surely Brooke Davis would never let him to get away that easily.

"Fine then I guess I can only be this ecstatic when I finally get your gift because there is no way I am letting you give it to me before I can give yours" she explained and he immediately turned in his tracks looking at her mischievous smile.

"Bitch" he smiled and now it was his time to want to kiss her endlessly. He didn't know how he was enduring all those days battering that much with her and do not jumping to take her and make her his once again. She was so sexy, childish and beautiful that it was hard for him to even breathe normally around her.

He had never mentioned the break they were taking. He respected her wish and he was really willing to wait for as long as she wanted or needed but he wouldn't deny that was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

"When are you leaving to Wilmington?" she changed the subject. She had waited for him to invite her there many times though she knew after missing Thanksgiving in her own house she owed Naley big time but at the same time she wanted to visit Isabella and the kids again. Truth to be told she had missed the whole family and not only the kids.

After she left the southern city it was even clearer to her how great both Julian's siblings were to her. They never made a comment about what happened. They could have hated her for all she did to Julian but they did quite the opposite. They were there for her even when they could have been there for him. They didn't let her feel like she had really screwed up or that she didn't deserved their brother. She had no idea what would have happened to her and ultimately to her relationship with Julian if Isabella hadn't being there for her.

"I didn't set things up with Nattie. I guess I am just waiting for her to show up again and then we leave. It is not like it is really hard to find tickets to Wilmington, even during holidays"

"I've got the gifts for the kids" she tried once more. Sometimes Julian seemed so slow and she thought it was odd. When they first started seeing each other he could catch what she was saying even when she didn't mean for him to catch anything and now she had gave him so many clues the whole week that she wanted to go there but she was still waiting for an invitation and he was totally oblivious to her attempts.

Julian actually didn't read into her too much. He actually misread her. He thought she was only showing him interest in his family to be the sweet girl she had always been and that time and space certainly didn't imply traveling together. He didn't invite her because he didn't want her to be forced to say yes.

"You are spoiling them" he smirked

"That's what Aunties are for, isn't?" she offered her beautiful smile and naughty wink.

"Only special Aunties" he told her while his eyes showed how much she was special and he knew she was very special to his family too.

"Well they are certainly special kids, in a special family, that deserve special care" she walked towards him and sat in the desk, just by his side, their legs rubbing each other's.

"I mean you are special, Brooklyn. They couldn't have asked for a more special Aunt" he looked deep in her eyes.

"Thank you" she uttered and their gazes kept locked for a while. They didn't use any words but their eyes spoke volumes. The desire, love and affection never went away. Everything was there and if possible it was even more intense than before.

Julian loved those hazel eyes. Everything in Brooke was unique and that surely included her eyes. Someone like her wouldn't have the average blue eyes. It wasn't the usual green either. Her eyes had their own color. Even if many people had hazel eyes, hers were just different. Not only the color but the intensity of her look and how she showed her emotions through them. He still remembered when they met and how it had been one of the first things he noticed about her. And one of the first things that made him fall in love with because the soul they showed was just too beautiful for him to resist.

He could look into those eyes for the rest of his days and he was sure he wouldn't get tired especially if they showed him all the feelings they were showing now.

Brooke loved the man in front of her more than she could imagine she would ever love someone. She not only loved him but also admired, cherished and desired him. Julian Baker was a man of so many facets and each of them was more interesting, seductive and beautiful than the previous one. He was arrogant but also sweet. He cared a lot about people but he didn't get anyone's shit. He loved his job so much but he didn't live as if there wasn't anything else. He was a caring brother and definitely a great uncle. He had flaws and she knew a few of them but she just couldn't remember any when she looked at those piercing but yet tender eyes. When she looked in those eyes she could see all the things that made her fall in love with him so quickly and with all her heart. She could see his feelings of admiration, love and adoration.

"So will you give them the gifts for me?" she whispered after several minutes.

"Of course" his voice was just as low as hers and they didn't break the gaze.

"Tell them I love them and I miss them as crazy and I would love to be there" she breathed out.

"I am sure they miss and love you just as much and certainly not only they"

"I also don't love only them" and the warmth in her eyes just made his heart race in his chest.

Another silence followed. They both knew who they were talking about. It could be his sisters and brother-in-law but it wasn't. They knew each other enough to know the look they had now in their faces. The adoring look that gave both of them hopes that they would make it.

"I am going to stop by to let the presents tomorrow" she came out of the trance moving from her position and walking to the opposite side of the table, across him.

"You really didn't have to Brooke"

"I wanted to. By the way can you give me your sisters' numbers?" she opened her purse to get her cell phone to register the information she had just asked. She was hopeful that if she called Isabella for any reason maybe the older brunette would do what her brother didn't and finally invite her to go there. She also thought there was a small chance that the sisters would help her to finally choose something to give to Julian but honestly she would only try this if she couldn't find anything at all. She wanted it to be special and meaningful to them. She wanted it to somehow remember him of her and of what they had.

"Well I guess I should get going" she offered quietly as they again didn't know what to say though they knew by heart what they would like to say.

"Thank you for passing by" he walked towards her and she was comforted that at least they would share another special hug as he opened his arms.

"I miss you" she muttered in his shirt. The bittersweet relationship they had after Thanksgiving was finally hitting her as she realized that he didn't make any move towards reconciliation though she had been the one to ask for a time apart in the first place.

He increased his grip around her body and holding her pretty tight he confessed the same "I miss you too"

That had been a landmark in their time apart. They hadn't confessed any feeling to each other yet. Not even the smallest one. Though they could clearly see all the feelings they nurtured for each other in their gaze they were yet to listen to any word and now listening to the mutual confession their hearts fluttered in their chests and Brooke could actually listen to Julian's as she still rested in his muscular body.

Julian's heart had reacted not only because of the obvious truth she had confessed but because it was the move he had been waiting ever since they came back. The moment when she would open herself to him even if just a bit. When she would show her vulnerability and vulnerable Brooke was enchanting.

"Have breakfast with me tomorrow" he pleaded as he allowed himself to rub her soft hair.

"I would love too" she finally smiled seeing he was trying. She needed to know the obvious. She needed her mind to know what her heart already knew in a long time. He still wanted her and somehow she would spend the holidays with him. Even if he didn't invite her.

"Villa's or your house?" he asked.

"I guess your room actually. Naley is still at home and I don't want to share you with anyone. Not with the people at Villa's not with my best friends and godson" she suggested as she was still attached to him.

Julian used all his self-control to stop himself from kissing her. She was so perfect in his arms, just like she always used to be. Their bodies were a perfect fit and she smelled so good and her skin was so soft and her voice was driving him crazy.

"So see you at seven?" she confirmed.

"Yes. It is perfect" he kissed her forehead and they broke apart of their very long embrace.


The night had never seemed so longer to Julian. No matter how much he tried he still couldn't sleep. He spent the whole night thinking about the woman he loved and it was like if he could still feel her in his arms. The warmth of her skin made him feel so alive and now that she was gone to her house he felt like there wasn't any life in him.

Thankfully the day was dawning and he didn't have to wait much longer. He was going to take a shower and had straight to Villa's and pick her favorites. The breakfast was definitely one of his favorite moments with her. One of the best things they had when they were seeing each other.

As much as he wanted to think that they had made progressed as they were in a relationship, even if a stand-by relationship he felt like what they had some weeks ago was better than now. At least he kissed, hugged and had sex with her back them. They were intimate and had something to look forward at the end of their days but now it was somewhat melancholic.

He decided he needed to take a shower and try to clean up a bit of the lack of sleep he had in the past night and maybe it would also help him to ease his mind.

He was still in his bathroom, drying his body when he heard his front door shutting. It was uncommon because the hotel staff never really entered his suite like that. He quickly finished his work with the towel and headed to the living room with it wrapped around his waist.

Much to his shock Brooke, his Brooklyn, was standing in the middle of his room with a sweet smile in her face.

"I wanted to surprise you" she offered simply.

"I guess that's the best surprise I've ever got in my life" he reached for her, helping her with the bags.

"I guess the first time around didn't work out as I planned" she commented and her face dropped but he was fast to raise her chin with his hand "I will always love you for going to Wilmington on Thanksgiving" he assured her.

It was the first time he had said he loved her ever since they arrived in New York. People use to say that a picture is worth a thousand words but for Brooke and Julian it wasn't like that now. They could see in each other's eyes and bodies how much they loved each other but they needed to listen to the actual words. They needed to confirm their perceptions and in that very moment Brooke's heart fluttered in her chest.

After their pseudo confession in the morning they needed a real one and Julian decided to start the process. And as he imagined it indeed ignited Brooke to do the same.

"And I will always love you for asking me to go there. The best invitation ever" she looked deep in his eyes and they were again lost in their gazes.

And then it finally hit Julian. After her innumerous attempts to make him realize that she wanted him to ask her again to spend the holiday with him, he finally understood.

"I'd love to repeat the drill" his hand reached for the side of her face and she closed her eyes at his touch. It was like in the cartoons. His fingers brushed her skin and it was like it inflamed her own body from that contact point.

"Maybe this time we could go together"

"No misunderstandings, no mismatches"

Their breath was already rugged and their hadn't realized that as the words left their mouths their faces got closer and closer and they were now a inch away of a kiss.

"And you know what else?" he suggested and his eyes kept moving from her eyes to tempting lips.

She only nodded and Julian shivered as her hot breath traveled around his lips. Though he was much taller than her, he had leaned down as the conversation progressed.

"When there are people around us everything seems easier…" he started and she knew where he was going with that.

"… and we don't need to be apart" he finished closing the last inch between their mouths.

The moment their lips touched Brooke's hand immediately found their way to the back of his neck and his to her waist.

The kiss was slow because it was feeding their almost infinite need of one another. The air would soon become a problem if they were too hungry and they just kept a slow pace. Their bodies merged into one and there wasn't a single cell that wasn't warmed by the contact.

"God, I miss you so much!!!" he sounded tortured and relieved altogether and it led Brooke's heart to melt a little bit more.

"I miss you too" she looked up at him and she could actually see tears shimmering in his eyes "I am sorry that I am hurting you a little bit more but I need to prevent a bigger pain to hit you" she completed and her own tears shined in her eyes.

"It is just sometimes I think if we will ever find our way back to each other, if we will ever move from this relationship that doesn't last when only there are only the two of us and that's not your fault" he confessed his true fears.

"I feel like we will. I hope we will. I am trying my best. Haley is helping me a lot and when I need any advice of a stable relationship I always turn to her. Nathan and she had been through a lot of things and they made it and she is sure that we will make it too"

"Is there anything that I can do to help? Do you need me for anything?" he let his fingers run slowly down on her hair. The soft hair that he liked so much to brush and smell.

"I need you, Julian. That's the only thing I need in my life and I promise I will find a way back to you"

"Just remember that I love you, okay?" he leaned more, letting their foreheads connecting their needing bodies.

"It is a good memory that I always carry in my heart, just by the side of my love to you" both of her hands reached for the side of his face while she closed her eyes once again "And that's what make each day that passes by bearable"

Julian could see how vulnerable, fragile and possibly hurt she was in that moment and he did the only thing he could do to the woman he loved. He embraced her with his life. His bigger frame covered her smaller one and her hands dropped from his face to his shoulders while her arm rested against his naked chest.

"Every day you need me, come to me. If you need to see me, see me; if you need to hug me, hug me; if you need to kiss me just kiss me. I am here for you Brooke. I am here because I love you and I am willing to do everything you need me to" he soothed in her hair and it was enough for her to release the many tears that she had been holding back for so many days.

"Why can't it simple? Why can't I just do it? I hate myself for being like this. I wish I was someone else, I wish I wasn't so damaged; I wish I wasn't so weak. I need you more than I can say and still I can't be with you because I am just incapable of doing so" her voice was calm and low. Brooke was tired of the same story playing out in her head. She was tired of all her fears and demons hunting her as she rested her head in the pillow. She was tired of being unhappy.

"I want to kiss you and do not remember of how much I hurt you. I want to make love to you and do not feel like you will be swept away of me at any minute. I want to spend the day with you and do not have to worry that I will screw it up at the end of the week" she continued and Julian could sense that in that moment even the weight of her body was too much for her to resist.

He carefully took her in his arms and going back to his bed he laid her down. The tears in her eyes still fell though not one sound came out of her mouth.

He sat by her side and pulled her against his body, kissing the top of her head as he felt her tears wetting his chest.

"I don't know what I can do to take those fears away, I don't know what happened to you before and I don't know who caused this but I do know that you won't screw up by the end of week. I do know that I won't be swept away of you because there is nothing you can do that will set me apart of you except if that's your will. I almost lost you once and God only knows how much it hurt and I won't ever go through that again. No matter how much you hurt me, no matter how much you avoid me, no matter how much you are afraid of losing me. I won't leave. I feel like my whole life came down to this one moment where I saw your beautiful lips cursing your car behind mine. It was as if I had lived until that moment only to meet you and now that I finally had and I could finally see that something was missing in my life, the biggest part of my life, I won't let it go. I won't let you go" his voice was serene. It was like the water of a quiet river. It brought peace to her heart not only because she believed in every promise he made but also because she felt exactly the same way.

"I'll try harder. I'll dig deeper. I'll go further" she promised nodding her head forcefully in his chest. she couldn't understand why it took her three weeks to finally open up to him again but she was happy she finally did but mainly she was relieved. She could indeed count on Julian.

"And I'll get your back every second of it" he reassured her last thought as if he had read it.

"I love you"

"I love you too"


AN: Sorry it took me so much but I had no inspiration to write this chapter and I hope it worked fine. I needed a bridge and also to fill you in about how their relationship had been before the holidays because again this is when everything is going to change - or a little bit after :P.

I really want to thank all the great reviews I got last chapter - which is my least favorite chapter in this fic. Thanks a lot to Sab, Kayla, sb1218, Artemi, Syrine, MaryOTH, Heath882, HaileyBOTH, OTHHB, SouthernBellBrooke, FriendlyGirl333, Maddie, xxAshley and vampiregurl. I love your reviews!!!!

Coming up: Christmas; The Juke story to the kids; Brucas interaction; New Years' resolutions and Brooke finds out something is wrong with her body and yes it is related to the cancer historic in her family. This chapter will be divided in two parts so some of this events will be only part of the second update.

I'll do my best to update soon. At least once by week but I will still work to make it twice. I had a very full schedule in the past two weeks so I didn't have time to write as much as I used to but I guess things are back on track now.

Also I started a new Brulian fic - and I know some of you had already checked. Here it is the summary: Stockholm - Five bandits. Twenty hostages. Two deaths. One blossing love. What do you do when you fall in love with the enemy? AU. Suspense, crime and surely drama and romance are the elements involved.

Talk to you soon,

Babi