Author's note: Another chapter for the best readers of the world! I appreciate the supports and patience of all of you! Thank you as always and please R&R if you like to~
Disclaimer: I don't own BLEACH!
His body was feverish and he felt the urge to pass out, but he fought back his tiredness to get up. Due to the sound of the alarm he set. He was struggling to sit up when pain shot through his body that made him groaned with frustration. The wounds on his body wasn't giving him an easy time these days, he mused. Toshiro brought the painkillers to his mouth and swallowed it dryly, not caring his throat was sore. The pain on his body subsides a little within seconds as he breath in and out slowly through his nostrils to maintain his breathing. With enough strength gathered in his arms, he slowly lift himself out of bed. The beeping sound of his security alarm and the red light flashed on his phone, it was set off due to the fact that there's intruders barged inside his independent bungalow. He ignored the security feed on his phone and disabled the alarm. Scowling, he pulled out his gun from the bedside drawer and loaded the bullets before he strides out the door.
If it was a burglar than he's in for a deadly fate because he's not going to have mercy for interrupting his rest. His right hand on his gun and his left hand leaned against the wall to steady himself, walked slowly but silently down the hallway. He heard sounds from downstairs living room. Cautiously, he descended from the stairs and placed himself on the wall for cover. Footsteps getting closer, he appeared abruptly behind the backs of the intruders. The intruders spun around quickly when they heard the click of his gun. Two of them rushed to the person trailing behind them, standing protectively as if the person was vulnerable. Their actions makes him confused. He saw three shadows but he couldn't make out their face, not that he care right now. He shot a warning fire near one of the intruders feet as he threatened menacingly.
The three figure jumped in surprised before he spoke menacingly. "I want you all out of my place before I blow your heads off now."
One of the person that stood at the front bravely stepped into the moonlight, Toshiro watched Gin appeared before his vision.
"Relax, Hitsugaya. It's ya own pal," Gin put his hands up in surrender but with his gun ready on his hand.
Toshiro narrowed his eyes.
"Ichimaru... I thought I gave you enough warnings not to search for me,"
Gin gave him a wry smirk, "Ya mean those death threats or the ways blocking up the information of ya presence? Sorry but it didn't work, cause we got lucky this time,"
"Who sold me out?" He inquired, Toshiro felt light headed with the effort of standing, but held his ground from fainting.
"Nobody, I can assure you that one hundred percent. But we do get help from different kinds of people,"
He shook his head and clutched his left side of his eye, fighting to stay conscious with his vision slightly blurry. Toshiro emphasised, "We?"
Ichigo took his cue, stepping into the light with a gun at hand. Clearly, they came here with preparation.
"I should've known you two are one hell of a team. Busy poking around other's business are your traits, the best I knew so far, " Toshiro said sarcastically with a deep scowl in place.
Ignoring his spite, Ichigo said, "Hitsugaya, we came here for you. We're getting you back to Momo,"
"Pity, I'm not going. Doors that way," He pointed to the door with his gun, Momo felt her heart cracked inside when she heard his cold statement.
"We were hoping ya could," Gin insisted and glanced at Momo in concern before he face the man again.
"Come with us, Hitsugaya. Momo is awake now. You can go to her side, you can be with her again,"
Not budging from his place, "Are you two deaf?"
"No, but we came lookin' for ya upon Momo's request, ya know?"
"Mission accomplished. Now leave," He ordered, brows sweating. Momo felt a swell of sadness filled her heart, her hands clutched together in front of her chest.
"We'll help you out of your problems just let us..." Ichigo said and slowly stepped towards him, but stop when Toshiro pointed his gun at him.
"I don't need any help!" He rasped and he covered his mouth to muffle his coughing fit.
His face were confront with pain and his brows were furrowed, he was wheezing unpleasantly that made her heart clenched inside. He was in so much pain throughout the months, she couldn't even afford to think when he was alone by himself, nobody to help. Full of sorrow and pain.
Momo was about to step out but Ichigo held her back, his hand signalled her to stay back.
"Ya looked like ya could faint any minute by now, are ya sure ya didn't want any help?"
"I could be resting if there's no one barging in," He retorted, breathing uneven.
"What is it with you? She's waiting for you to go back to her side and you're here being a jerk, can't you see she loves you?"
"That's why I can't go back," Toshiro's eyes hinted a pain of guilt when he spoke.
They stood in lapse of silence.
Ichigo took a guess, "Why? Because you thought it was all you fault? Because you thought it would be best for her?"
"Yes."
"Your selfishness is hurting her, Hitsugaya."
"You're overstepping the line, Kurosaki."
"I said what I want, you have no rights to stop me,"
"He's right, Hitsugaya. Ya being selfish to Momo. Deciding everything just by yaself, ya nothing but a selfish jerk,"
"Don't." He warned and a dangerous glint flashed in his eyes whilst he glared hardly as they were overstepping their boundaries.
"Don't you know how she felt when you weren't by her side after she woke up? To find you missing for months, she was devastated!"
He gritted his teeth, "She should've forget me and move on,"
Gin frowned upon his comments, "She needs ya by her side,"
"She doesn't need me, she can live peacefully without me interfering with her life,"
"Even if it comes the times she would hate you forever?"
"Yes."
"Did she meant nothing to you? Are you that kind of man who comes and go whenever you please? You played with her feelings and then left her without a word, are you that kind of man?" Ichigo taunted.
His restraint on his temper immediately snapped. How dare they?! They have no means to make assumptions on their own and throwing it all to him! They don't deserve the right to said what's right or wrong on his actions!
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Toshiro raged, fired a shot near Ichigo's feet to gave him a warning that he wasn't joking around. He had the intent to kill. One more word they would have an all out gun war, they gulped nervously. Instinctively, they pointed their guns at Toshiro when the second shot was fired and they stood protectively in front of Momo behind them, whom flinched at his sudden outburst. Breathing heavily, he massaged his pounding temple and closed his eyes in pain, his headache was getting worse. But he held on, not noticing a pair of worried filled eyes watching his every move. He snapped open his furious eyes, piercing fiercely to the two as his finger close to the trigger, aiming at them.
"You don't know me, and don't go all sentimental on me just because you thought you knew better! I had enough of all you idiots making up things that would help me feel better, even when Kusaka died you thought you knew everything, but no, you were wrong. So you had no rights to say that I don't love Momo," He seethed, eyes blazing in anger.
"I love her enough to die for her, to sacrifice my own in exchange of her happiness. Momo meant the world to me! Without her, I am nothing! I would give everything up just for her!"
He close his eyes trying to forget how painful it is to leave her, "I want her to move on with her life and forget about me, she should find someone else to love. That way there's no more disputes between her father, no more hazards lurking around her and no more bad things happen to her. My unfortunates won't be her burden. For her happiness, I'll do whatever it takes. Even if it means the need to erase my existence from her world."
Momo felt her tears threatened to leak after his declaration. Three men inside the room were having a standoff and neither of them budged from their spot, it was a tense silence.
"Last chance, get out." He commanded as he cocked his gun warningly.
Gin and Ichigo shared a gaze before Ichigo stepped away for the person behind him.
"We will, after you get to talk with her,"
Toshiro forgot that there's another in the room and instantly prepare himself.
"What are you plan-?"
His words were caught in his throats when he saw Momo emerged from behind of them. She was still beautiful, with the moon illuminated her figure as she wore a warm smile on her face and took hesitate steps forward to him. Toshiro felt the colour drain from his face like he seen a ghost.
"Mo-mo..." He muttered in disbelief.
His widen eyes filled with shock, his hand unconsciously lowered his gun when they met each other's gaze. Her honey brown eyes showed different kinds of emotions, he remembered the days they spent together. He can't believe it. No words were formed to express his thoughts right now. His eyes were fixated on her, never blinking as he thought one blink she would disappear from his sight. Momo was standing in front of him without him noticing, the distance between them immediately shorten. Slowly but surely, she wounded her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. Her warmth was spreading through his body while he convinced himself that it isn't a fig of his imagination.
Hesitantly, his left hand brushed her cheek and glanced into her eyes with a certain amount of doubt. Feeling his hesitation, she leaned into his touch to confirm his suspicions. His gun was then dropped to the floor at the side and brought his arms wrapped around her tightly, breathed in her scent that he strived for. His knee buckled under him whilst she followed suit as he buried his face onto her chest while she stroked his head with her nimble hands weaving through his snowy white locks. Her touch was soft and gentle, like the way he remembered. Unaware of his weakened condition, his body reached his limit as he went limped inside the embrace of the person he longed for. Finally feeling peace settled in his bones.
Sitting beside the bed, Momo placed a wet towel on his forehead to lowered his high temperature. Gin and Ichigo went downstairs after they brought Toushiro to his bed when he faint, as they left Momo to care for him. Toshiro was breathing raspingly and was sweating furiously due to his feverish condition. He had dark circles underneath his eye lids, his face were ghostly pale, his usual spiky hair was now limp down and his body was wrapped with worn bandages stained with blood underneath his clothes. She hold onto his hand as she glanced at him worriedly. Stirring up slowly, Toshiro opened his eyes and felt a presence. Turning his head to the side, he met with Momo's concerned gaze. A wave of relief and regret stirred inside of him.
"Are you feeling better?"
Instead of answering her question, he regarded the woman beside the bed and whispered hoarsely, "Why?"
"Why not?" She reasoned as she brushed his bangs away tenderly with a warm expression. He looked at her with those guilt ridden eyes, his face reflected pain and hurt.
There was a short moment of silence before he spoke.
"Forgive me, Momo. I've done so many mistakes in the past and let you suffered the consequences of my actions,"
"I won't forgive you because there's nothing to forgive, Toushiro. You've already done so much for me," Momo soothed.
"I'm a failure, I couldn't even protect our child," His voice broken as he spoke.
"You saved me that day, remember? I know that our child didn't make it through and it's not your fault,"
"But I failed protecting you,"
"You didn't fail, because I'm still alive right here, right now with you," She squeeze his hand, "All of those things happened wasn't your doing and you didn't need to bear it all on your shoulder."
"You deserve better,"
"I don't want better. I want you,"
His lips wore a thin line after her bold endearment claim. Her honey brown orbs peering into him with a firm resolve of her love for him, the only one who saw through his cold exterior. The only person who can gave him comfort in his sadness. The only person who can give him the love he don't deserve and selflessly shower him with affection he longed.
"I love you, Toshiro. Nobody can change that for me."
She brought his hand to her lips and brushed a kiss on his palm while he felt his chest overwhelming with billions of emotions. It's like his heart was bursting open, her key unlocked the lock to his feelings he buried deep. The feelings he chose to bury in his past out in the open for her. And she embrace every one of his scars with her love, never disregard him with contempt. He had his left arm grudgingly covered half of his face and closed his blurry eyes.
"You're as stubborn as a mule..." He exhaled. Momo was about to retort his comment but was stop short when she saw a lone tear trail down his face onto the pillow. She smiled knowingly and squeezed his right hand while more of his tears landed onto the pillow. Momo said nothing but chose to stay by his side as he sobbed for the first time in his life. His pent up sorrow and anguish throughout his childhood formed into tears, the pain he bottled up for years finally poured out from his chest.
Toshiro changed out his sweaty clothes with Momo's help and wore a new set of clean clothes before Gin and Ichigo came into the room. They discussed their plan on bringing him to a doctor.
But Toshiro stubbornly refused medical attention.
"I'm fine."
"You are clearly not fine with that condition of yours," Ichigo crossed his arms against his chest.
"I'll be better within a few days, trust me,"
"No man can withstand this without proper medication,"
"I had worst,"
Gin sighed loudly, and decided not to persuade the man further, "Fine, ya have ya rest. However, Momo is staying with ya until ya feel better. Don't want ya go into the missing person list again,"
"Hn,"
"Now that's settled. We need to go back to Sereitei for work, contact us if something happened," Gin glanced at his phone of the several missed calls from work.
"Thank you very much, Kurosaki-kun, Gin-San,"
"Your welcome, Momo. As long as ya idiotic boyfriend doesn't go off the radar again, then it won't be a problem for us," He teased.
"Shut up, Ichimaru," Toshiro growled.
Shrugging off his anger, "It's true, though. Ya were a pain in the neck to find,"
"Whatever,"
"We should be going. We'll see ya later. Momo, if anything happens call us."
"I will, thanks again!"
The couple was finally left alone inside the bungalow where Momo tend to her sick boyfriend. Toshiro had his back against the headboard, sitting there patiently as Momo spoon-fed him with her homemade porridge, despite his protest. After filling his stomach full and changing his worn out bandages, Momo settled down on the bed beside him in his comfy comforter. Her head laid against his chest, his arms enveloped her figure from behind as she sat in front of him tracing invisible lines on his hand.
"Toshiro, did you own this bungalow? I heard it from Gin-San that you bought it recently to make it a safe house,"
"Yeah. Usually, nobody come by this part of the neighbourhood before I bought it, so it's safe for me to stay here for awhile."
"But...its in the suburbs far away from the city life doesn't it appeal to people of its tranquility?"
"A little but fact is, this part of the neighbourhood was rumoured to be dangerous. Due to public security here is low, things occurred normally like burglary. Plus, here doesn't have much appeal to attract many people,"
"That's harsh for the locals."
"There isn't much people living here these days so it doesn't really matter much,"
"But don't you know that you might be have the chance that you'll get jump when you're walking down the streets or when you're asleep?"
"I've set out sensors within the bungalow so I'll know when someone comes in."
"Ohhh... That's how you knew us came in beforehand."
He nodded, "And I did get ambushed by people before when I went to get something to eat at night. But those rascals were scared shitless and ran with their tails between their legs when I got the real thing in hand rather than their toy gun,"
She giggled, "They messed with the wrong guy, huh? I think the next time they walk down the street, they'll be the one cautious about getting ambushed by you."
He chuckled. "That'll teach them."
He buried his nose in her hair inhaling her scent and closed his eyes in content. It's been too long that he had the chance to held her close like this and he achingly painful when he was away from her. Too much time lost as they spent their time apart from each other and he breathed a relief when he saw her appeared before him. Like a ton of weight on his heart instantly removed while she's near him. He found peace and serenity with her. Then he thought about something that bothered him.
"Does your father know about you went looking for me?"
Her body stiffened at his question, he could sensed her nervousness and incoming anger from the corner of her eyes. He could guessed something had happened between Momo and her father.
"He knows... I think. But I don't care about his decision." She bit her lip, "I haven't talk to him for awhile after we had a fight over you,"
He frowned, that's no good. "How long was it since then?"
"Sixteen days..." She said timidly.
"That's like two weeks, Momo. I'll take you bac-"
She refused and clutched onto his forearms, "No! I don't want to! He hurt you intentionally and betrayed your trust, how can I forgive him for being so cruel?"
"He just want to protect you," He tried to reason out.
She crossed her arms and scoffed, "He just wanted to protect himself, he thinks you're too dangerous and was scared that you'll do something to him,"
"I am dangerous, Momo."
Momo shook her head, "Not to me, I don't see you harmful like a criminal,"
"Still, he is your father and he has the right to judge me,"
"Nobody has the right to judge you, not him or anyone else. I chose to love you and it's my decision to take, not him," She frowned and turned away from him, "I can't believe he did those harmful actions to you, I trusted him to accept you but he went overboard with breaking us apart,"
He sighed softly, "He has his responsibility as a father. He was just protecting his family from getting hurt and he didn't mean to hurt you along with it,"
"He hurt you, Toshiro. It's still unforgivable for him to use his old work connections to dig up your past and humiliate you, that's the most sensitive topic that you tried to avoid. It's like reopening your old wounds all over and over again,"
"It doesn't bother me anymore, it's fine,"
"Not for me. I don't want us to be apart again, I want to stay with you,"
"I know. But you need to reconcile with your father, he must've feel guilty," He persuaded.
"Served him right, I won't forgive him from hurting you," She huffed.
"You can't stay like this forever, Momo."
She pouted, "But-"
"No more buts. I can't let you jeopardise your daughter and father relationship just because you're being stubborn," Toshiro concluded with a steady resolve, "We're going back next thing in the morning,"
"Can I stay with you a little longer? Please..." She showed him her puppy dog eyes that he bound to concede.
He groaned, "Alright, two days."
"Can't it be longer than two days?"
"No. If I let you say more, you're going to broke my eardrums for all the nagging,"
"You jerk, I'm going to throw the ring you got me out of the window if you don't apologise,"
His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the ring on her finger, "You got the ring with you? How...?"
He took her hands in his and examined the ring. "It's the one I got for you, when did you get it?"
Momo fiddled the ring on her ring finger, "I went to your apartment to find you after the fight with my dad. I saw the ring and your old phone on the bedside table... Are you really going to propose to me afterwards?"
He nodded, caressing her hands in his, "I'm serious about it. You ask me what I want to do after I retire my job, right?"
"Yeah,"
"The ring is my answer," He declared.
Her voice trailed off, "... but you changed your mind when I went to coma,"
His face confront with anguish and guilt, he looked down to their hands finally laced together after so many days in a long distance from each other.
"I hope that you can move on without me, find another normal man that could earn your father approval and make you happy. And probably forget about me ever be part of your life, that's why I left," He explained.
He tightened his arms around her waist, she could feel his pain in his voice.
"I blocked off all contacts and decided to disappear for good, went to a place so nobody could find me,"
"You're hurting yourself more, look at you." She turned around, staring intently at him, her fingertips ran over his cheeks, "You're being suicidal. Going on jobs that was slowly killing you as you ignored serious medical treatment, it hurts me so much to see you like this,"
"Hn,"
"Don't you just 'Hn' me, you stubborn man. You could've been killed, you deliberately ignored your own health, and what's worse you put yourself in danger,"
"I'm sorry,"
Momo saw the distress on his face and she reached up to trace the wrinkles between his brows with her fingers.
"Don't be sorry, Toshiro. I just don't like seeing you like this,"
He brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her face to kiss her. She felt his anguish and sorrow through the sweet yet gentle kiss, as if he was afraid that he would break her like a fragile glass. When he pulled away, Momo saw a tinge of sadness in his turquoise eyes and frowned.
"Everything's fine now, Toshiro. You don't need to bear a grudge on yourself, you did nothing wrong," She brushed his bangs away, noticing his vulnerable side showed to her, "All of it is in the past, now we live in the present, that's all it matters."
"That's all it matters," He repeated with a quiet resolution as Momo smiled softly.
He exhaled, relaxing his body and placed his forehead with hers. His deep turquoise eyes held her gaze with his genuine and grateful expression.
"You took on sleeping pills again?" Momo asked when she saw the small medicine bottle at the side table of the bed.
He looked away in shame, his head laid against the headboard avoiding her prying eyes.
"Couldn't sleep,"
"Is it the nightmares again?" She glanced over him, her honey brown eyes concerned.
"Hn,"
Momo had known his sleeping habits after they started dating, the nightmares had been haunting him ever since he delved into the depths of darkness. He woke up yelling one night, gasping for air, body covered in cold sweats, tears threatened to spill but never did, and it shocked her to see him so vulnerable. He was always seen in a composed and unperturbed manner, so it's rare for him to be scared. It's truly worrying when she found out that he often use sleeping pills to fall asleep. So for the best solution for his sleeping habits to improve, Momo chose to stay by his side as she lulled him to sleep with her soothing voice and calming words. It worked, Toshiro haven't had a single nightmare ever since. Not until they were apart for months. She could guess that he might've triggered his nightmares due to her absence as she suffered from coma, whilst he buried himself in guilt and pain along his sorrow. She was partly to blame.
"Don't worry, it's nothing," He attempted to soothe her using a gentle tone he reserved only for her.
"Toshiro, please tell me. What did you see in your nightmares,"
He had to swallow, close his eyes and collected his courage before he was able to tell her. "It was the worst thing that could happen to me,"
"What is it?"
"Losing you," He whispered underneath his breath but she heard it.
"I would never leave you," She promised.
"I know now," His eyes looked at her lovingly.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't be by your side when you needed me the most," She apologised.
He shook his head, "No. It's not your fault to begin with,"
"But I-"
He cut her off, "Momo, really... you helped me more than anyone could ever did, you saved me,"
"I thought the prince was supposed to do the saving not the princess in the stories?" She remarked jokingly.
"Guess we're an exception," He smiled.
She bit her lip and hold onto his hands, "But you're not the only one who have nightmares, I did too,"
Toshiro looked at her sceptically, "When?"
"After I found out you were gone when I got discharged from the hospital. I was afraid to lose you too,"
"The feeling's mutual, so don't be full of yourself," He joked, trying to lighten the solemn mood.
She laughed softly with tears in her eyes, "Way too kill the mood, Toushiro. You are such a buzzkill,"
"Hn." He leaned in to kiss her, the atmosphere surrounding them was light once more. Her tears shed in happiness as they hold onto each other, not wanting to let it go and vow to never be apart ever again.
One more chapter and an epilogue coming your way, so stay tune!
