It was creepy how easy it was to wordlessly come to the consent to not talk about their little outburst this morning. Ron had taken a shower and Harry had charmed his cloths clean in the mean time.
They had breakfast and Ron took his potion then Ron fell asleep on the sofa.
Harry waited until he was sure that his best friend was sleeping and safe, then he also took a shower.
He was happy to get out of his sticky pants. He hadn't had this kind of accidents since he was teenager and accidentally watched Ron shower after Quidditch practise.
Back then he hadn't really thought about it and just put it off to puberty. He really had to worry about other things back then, with one of the more dangerous dark wizards around trying to kill him...
That and he never even allowed himself to dream that Ron would allow him to act on it.
Ron always seemed to be so painfully heterosexual, with his swooning over Fleur, all the public kisses with Lavender and his long-time crush and then marriage with Hermione.
Harry was sure that Ron also had at least a girlfriend in France.
How did it end up like this?
Harry stepped under the shower and the warm water rinsed away the smell of sex, sweat and lake water.
He tried to will away the thoughts of Ron's fast breath against his shoulder and neck, his fingers desperately digging in in his hips and Ron's body, hot and demanding against his back.
Harry's blood shot to his head when he thought how good it felt to be claimed, to be needed.
The first unhappy years of his childhood had ingrained the feeling of being unwanted so much in him that it was a part of Harry's personality and it was still difficult for him to believe that someone actually wanted to be close to him.
Ron was the one that welcomed him into the wizard world.
The first to be his friend, the first to give him the feeling that he was okay the way he was, that he was worth it to be protected and to have Ron fight beside him.
Feeling wanted by Ron was what had sent him off the edge, with the other man rubbing against him.
Harry felt heat buzzing in his groin, just thinking about it.
He looked down his body in frustration. Now was not the time to get excited. Especially not with Ron in the neighbouring room.
There were finger shaped bruises on both sides of his hips, Harry touched them tentatively. They hurt a bit, but not badly.
Ron must have held him very firmly to leave this kind of bruises...
When he left the bathroom Ron was still asleep, which was good since Harry had forgotten his clean cloths.
Hastily he pulled a clean pair of pants, jeans and a shirt out of the drawer and put them on then he padded on bare feet to the sofa leaning over his best friend's sleeping form.
Ron's sleep was a lot calmer than yesterday and his expression was peaceful and relaxed.
Harry withstood the urge to brush the unruly curls out of his face and sat down beside him, starting to do some paper work.
Yes, perhaps he was sitting a bit too close and enjoying the warmth radiating from Ron a bit too much, but he'd be a good friend. He'd stick to their unspoken agreement to be quiet about the events this early morning.
Ron had always been reacted with physical closeness when Harry had been put in danger.
Not to this extreme of course, but hugs, fingers digging in his upper arms to keep him close or just leaning against his shoulder weren't out of character for Ron.
As if he needed to reassure himself that Harry was still there, alive and safe.
It wasn't that weird, now that Harry thought about it, that Ron would get physical after having to reanimate him.
This was a one-time occurrence because of extraordinary circumstances. There was nothing to get too worked up about, just file it as a nice memory and get over it, Harry tried to tell himself, giving up to work on the papers in front of him after he read the same sentence for the fifteenth time.
There was no chance he'd any work done like! He carefully threw the documents on the floor beside the couch.
Ron muttered, curling up a little in his sleep. Harry thought he'd heard him say Hermione's name.
Harry slid down the back of the sofa until he was lying beside Ron. He turned on his side and looked at the sleeping face.
He shouldn't do this, but he had dome so much in the last days, that wouldn't fit their old relationship as best mates, that he could easily convince himself that just a bit more wouldn't be too bad.
His mouth was dry, when he gently caressed the relaxed face, the inviting lips, the neck...Ron looked so defenceless.
This was bad.
Carefully to not wake Ron he crawled closer. Just a little bit...
His nose rested a few millimetres above the collarbone. He blissfully sucked in the smell of soap and Ron's individual smell.
The smell of unconditional loyalty.
"Stop it, Fred..." grumbled Ron and then mumbled about being tired and having to work at night. Harry's eyes shot up to his face.
He was still asleep.
Harry smiled fondly and snaked a hand under the rim of Ron's pyjama top, just enough to feel the smooth skin under his thumb.
Muscles relaxed and warm from sleep.
Ron was here and the almost ten years that they'd spent without being close to each other, didn't matter, because the the way he saw Ron, as his loyal friend he could rely on, wouldn't change in hundred years.
"Stop moving around! I'm trying to sleep!" Ron's hand found his and pulled it away from his body and then he startled.
The sudden stiffness made it pretty clear that Ron had woken up.
"What are you doing Harry..." muttered Ron and he felt hands gripping his upper arms and trying to push him away.
If there was one big fault Harry had, it was that he was stupidly stubborn.
He was so stubborn enough to just refuse to die for years.
Not letting go of Ron when he obviously wanted it, was probably a manifestation of how stupidly stubborn Harry could be.
He couldn't go back, that he was sure now.
It was easy before, because Ron never showed any signs that he'd want this kind of closeness.
"le' me go, Harry."
Harry shook his head, encircling Ron hips with his arms with all his might.
They wrestled, both not wanting to give up.
"I won't!" hissed Harry trying to get the upper hand, while Ron started punching him an the shoulder and arms.
"You'll just act as if nothing happened!"
Ron was heavier and taller, but he didn't have the combat experience that Harry had in the last decade.
Finally Harry managed to get a hold of Ron's and keep him stomach down in an arm lock.
Ron was so furious that he wasn't even able to produce full sentences, spitting curses in both French and English and fruitlessly struggling against Harry's grip.
"Give it up, Ron! It won't work. You're out of training!" wheezed Harry and put as much weight as possible on the bucking body.
"Bloody Hell! What is wrong with you, Potter?!" Harry flinched. Ron only called him by his surname when he was either extremely angry or otherwise really agitated.
"Ron! Listen! I won't do anything...but listen to me!" Harry was almost begging.
He didn't want to fight, he just wanted to make sure that they talked about what happened... he knew himself and he knew Ron and he knew the longer they'd wait, the more difficult it would be to talk about this. They were both pants at discussing feelings.
"I...we can't just ignore this... I can't...look you're my best friend..." he was stammering and making a total tit out of himself, but at least Ron stopped struggling.
"...I missed you so much, that I had a problem functioning as a human being! I'm a shitty dad, I was such a shitty husband, I don't blame Ginny for finally having enough and throw me out and I try to avoid people at work...all these things that were so bloody easy with you by my side are a constant fight with everyone else. I need you with me. I don't care how ..." his voice broke.
It was a lie.
He did care. A lot.
He wanted to be the most important. Wanted Ron to need him as much as he needed him, but he'd accept anything, if Ron would just be there.
"...just stay with me." he whispered coarsely leaning his forehead against Ron's back.
For a moment there was nothing to hear but their breath and the ticking of the clock.
"let me go, Harry." muttered Ron then and Harry shook his head, keeping the Arms twisted and secure on Ron's back.
"Harry...please..."
A moment later Harry sprung back with a cry of pain.
Looking down on his hands that were now covered with burned flesh and blisters.
Ron stared at him. He was breathing heavily and trembled, obviously shocked about the results of his newest magical outburst.
"Harry..." Ron's voices sounded weak and scared, while Harry searched for ointment against burnings in the medicine chest.
"Harry, I want you to go." Harry stopped and for a moment he didn't even feel the pain from his burned hands.
"Leave me alone here. This room is safe and I won't bring anyone in danger. Go spend time with you children. Spend some time with Fre...James."Ron pleaded.
Harry found the salve and came back to the sofa.
When he sit down next him, Ron retreat to the other end of the room, leaning against the door frame.
Harry bit his lips. This hurt.
"Can't you understand what I told you?!" Harry whispered, smearing the ointment on his palms and watching the wounds close and fade.
"I want to be with you."
Ron's slid down the door frame sitting down on the floor, he looked like short before passing out from magical exhaustion again. All this uncontrolled outburst were straining for the body and the magic level.
"You're not save here, Harry. I almost killed you this morning and I hurt you just now." Ron head hung low, hiding his face and making it impossible for Harry to read his expression.
"I don't want to hurt you, Harry!"
Harry knelt in front of his best friend grabbing his hair roughly and pulling the face up, so that he could see in his pained eyes.
"Ron. I don't care if it hurts me or even kills me! I need you with me." he grumbled, voice thick with emotions.
"No, Harry. I...don't...! Please just for the next two or three days. Then you can check on me again, if you want." Ron didn't complain that Harry pulled at his hair. Harry still let go, he felt a bit bad for being so forceful.
"I need time to recover and it seems to me like these...event...they happen either when I have some dream, I get startled or if I feel an intense emotion...no matter if it's good or bad. Being with people makes the chance even bigger, that I end up causing chaos around me."
Ron leaned against his shoulder.
"I would never be able to forgive myself, if you'd be permanently damaged because of me, mate."
Harry did understand and he'd probably wanted the same if it were the other way around, but leaving Ron when he was this unstable was scary.
"I...let me at least see you in the evenings." He muttered in Ron's shoulder and after a moment of thinking, he felt Ron nodded.
"...And I'll set up an alarm, so that when you're in danger, I can come and help."
Ron pushed him away and this time he didn't resist.
There was a shaky smile on his lips Harry mirrored it with a broad grin.
"let me keep my wand, Harry. It makes me feel saver."
