Second to last chapter. I cried writing this. I hope you all like it.
Here's what Kim's journal looks like, just so you know. (If it does't work, go to druidchickz on Deviantart and it's her Tree Journal)
.net/fs71/i/2011/065/b/e/tree_journal_by_
Enjoy. And know that, no matter what happens, their story lives on forever, if you would like it to. (Could that be a hint of a sequel? Maybe... :D )
"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain." – Saint Bartholomew
When a person becomes accustom to pain, it's either one of two reasons. They have either become use to it or they cannot let it go. Some say pain is a necessity to grow as a person, to become who you truly are. There's the pain you cause to yourself and the pain caused by others hurting you. Either one hurts deep down. Sometimes, you never truly get over it.
Perhaps that's true… but Kyoya always thought there was another type of pain… the pain you feel when someone who you love with your entire body, mind and soul is hurting and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
He sits in the waiting room, his head in his hands. He was taken away from her the moment they got there so they can treat him. He hasn't seen her since then. He was terrified to find out what was going to happen to her. He can't imagine what it would be like without her. He refuses to. His mother had a hand on his back, tears coming from her eyes. The entire club was there as well. The happy bunch was lacking their joy.
Everyone was quiet. No one said a single word. No one looked each other in the eyes. Kyoya stands, looking down at his mom, "I'm going to get some fresh air," Tamaki goes to stand, "Alone." Tamaki nods, sitting back down. Next to him was Haruhi, small little sob coming from her. Tamaki put and arm around her, comforting her.
Kyoya looks away from his, his heart aching at the sight. He walks outside, feeling the cool rain against his skin. He leans against the building, looking forward. He's fighting back so many feelings right now. He wants to be scared, angry, sad, depressed, upset… every negative feeling. He just can't handle all that right now. Not with Kim in so much danger…
"Ootori," A police officer says.
"Yes," He says, standing up straight.
"This was found at the warehouse," He says, handing over a tote bag, "Is it Kim's?"
"Yes," He says, "It is."
"It's not evidence," he says, handing it over, "You're free to return it to her."
"Thank you," He says, taking the bag from him.
"I hope that she's ok," He says, "That bastard got what he deserved."
Kyoya just nods. The man leaves him, Kyoya looks inside the bag, seeing her songbook. He opens it, seeing the page she had marked. His curiosity got the better of him in that moment. In the corner of the page, it says 'For Momma'. He can tell it wasn't finished, but he read it anyways.
'Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.
Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.'
Kyoya closes his eyes, looking down at the pages. He flips and reads some she hasn't shown him. Every fiber of her being was in these pages and he knew it, and he felt a bit better just knowing that.
Page after page, he read all that she wrote in her neat yet awkward cursive. She never did write the lower case B's right, and he's sometimes pick on her about it. It's funny, how some of the smallest things that happen between two people, someone remembers. On the very front page, right below her name as the person it belonged to, it had a small little saying that make Kyoya smile a bit.
'Lord I feel so small some times in this big ol' place
Yeah I know there are more important things, but
Don't forget to remember me.'
He just stares at it for a little while. She always told Kyoya that… 'Don't forget to remember me.' And he never did, because he knows that she's terrified of being forgotten by the people that means the most to her. She already was forgotten by so many who have come and gone, but never Kyoya. He couldn't forget her if he tried, and he never has.
Kyoya find her pen, opening her book once more and writing something in it. Be smiles down, a bittersweet smile. He hoped she'd get to see it, one day. He stands before putting her book back in her bag. He walks back into the hospital, rubbing the water off his glasses. His shoulder hurt him a bit, but he simply ignores it. It's nothing compared to the internal pain.
He walks up, seeing a doctor. He runs the rest of the way, everyone look over at him. Kyoya looks up the middle Ootori, his brother Makoyo, his breath caught in his throat.
"It took a while," He says, "But she's stabilized. The knife got nothing but a major artery. She'll be fine in a few days. She has to stay here for at least three days, just to make sure it's healing properly."
"Thank God," Kyoya's mother says, tears coming from her eyes. Haruhi cries out of happiness, hugging onto Tamaki. The twins are tearing up, nodding at the news. Honey was hugging onto Mori, who looked relieved as well.
No one felt as relieved as Kyoya. There are no words he could ever use to describe how relieved he feels.
"She's asking for you," Makoto says, looking at his younger brother. "Normally, we wouldn't let anyone see her just yet. But I'm sure given the circumstance…"
"Thank you," Kyoya says, looking up, "Room?"
"4301," He says, with a small smile.
Kyoya ran as fast as he could. It seemed like years for him to reach her door. She stops in the door way. Kim looks up, seeing him. A small smile comes to her lips, "Hey."
Kyoya walk in, dropping her bag in the chair. She didn't have time to say anything else, because Kyoya took her face in his hands and kissed her. "I was so scared," He says looking in her eyes.
She nods, tears coming to her eyes. She moves over, painfully, but makes enough room for him to sit with her. She looks up at him, her face completely serious. "Do you think we see something, when we die?"
Kyoya shakes his head, "Honestly? No. Why?"
"I honestly thought I was going to die," She confesses, looking up at him. "And… I think I did… for a little bit. It was… I'm not sure. Perhaps it was just the pain drugs, but I saw wonderful things. I was in a field of irises, but only one was colored… and it was in the hands of my mom." She looks down at her hands, "She didn't killer herself, Kyoya… Da-… that monster did it. He deserves to rot in hell for what he did to her… what he did to me."
Kyoya nods, staying quite.
"She was as beautiful as I remember," she says, tears coming to her eyes, "And she told me… to choose either life or death." Kim looked out the window, "For a moment, all I could think about was the pain… how I wanted it to end… I was about to chose to stay dead." She wipes away her tears, "But I knew I couldn't be so selfish… That if did choose that, I'd regret it, that I would miss you so, so much."
"So," She says, taking one of his hands, "I… I choose you. Because I was so scared that if I passed away…"
"I'd forget you," He guesses.
"Yes," She says, looking up. Tears come from her eyes as she looks into his.
Kyoya wipes away the tears, "I could never forget you, Kim."
She nods, hugging him. Kim cries, holding him close. She breaks down about all that happened, all that she had to endure. For hours, they sat there. Kyoya never left her side at all, and Kim was thankful for that.
Once Kim fell asleep, Kyoya was told that he had to leave, but he could come back tomorrow. He then went out to tell everyone how she was. His mother took her in her arms, crying tears of joy.
Though no one saw it, but as they left, he let out some of joy as well.
'...Fight for the only thing she knew that was good enough, noble enough, powerful enough to be worth risking everything. Love.'
-Fallen by Lauren Kate
