Thank
you to my awesome-sauce reviewers. Y'all rock my motherfucking world.
And CONGRATULATIONS to Kyki- The Late Night Writer for being the
400th reviewer of Ties of Love and
Friendship!! For your prize... I don't
know. Cameo? Send me a PM and we'll talk. Disclaimer:
Nope.
By
the way, I bought the shirt. In case you care. Here's chapter 27. Oh,
and OOC-ness, cuz it's Tohru flirting. 'Nuff said.
Chapter
27 - Rules of Seduction (or, Baby's First "Fuck Me"
Shoes)
Well of course Tohru had expected it to be difficult, but she hadn't though seducing Kyo would be that difficult.
Izi had taken it upon herself to be the unsolicited-advice-dispensing fairy godmother to Tohru's romantically-impaired heroine. With the help of the eggnog, they talked for hours and watched the first sunrise, shooting out ridiculous New Year's resolutions and wishes ("I shall drink unicorn blood and live forever!" "I'm gonna win the Indie 500!" "I'll write a kick-ass song with lots of emotional depth!" "I want to go to Hogwarts!"). Kyo wandered in around eight in the morning and Tohru laughed as his eyes went as wide as dinner plates.
"Am I delirious from lack of sleep?" he mumbled.
"No, but we might be!" Izi giggled.
"I'm... gonna go pass out on my bed now."
Yuki came home shortly after - Shigure was staying the full three days - and his response to their new 'dos were similar to Kyo's. By eight twenty-seven, Tohru was snoring into the the kotatsu and Izi howled with laughter as she half-carried, half-dragged the girl's unconscious carcass up to her room. When Tohru woke up at four in the afternoon, Izi was sawing logs next to her and Kyo was recording it on Izi's digital camera.
Figuring her resolution could wait until later - bad Tohru! That's how people's diets get ruined - she followed Kyo out of the room and they just talked for hours. Kyo reported that Kazuma was doing well, thanks for asking, and Tohru gloated that she felt absolutely no fear when cutting her hair (Kyo being a guy, though, he did not see the massive accomplishment in this). Tohru would have continued their forever-continued conversation for, uh, forever, if Izi hadn't burst in with her Evil Eye set to kill.
"Toooo-hru," she cooed too sweetly. "I'm having a female problem. Come help me upstairs?"
Tohru looked to Kyo for help, but at the phrase 'female problem' he was already choking out some excuse about training. Izi grinned at him in a skin-crawling way and as soon as Kyo was out of the room she growled, "What are you thinking?!"
"Wh-what do you mean?" Tohru mumbled in a feeble attempt to act like she wasn't just doing what she knew Izi would not approve of.
"You know damn well what I mean. Why are you still acting all buddy-buddy with him?"
"I wasn't acting 'buddy-buddy' with anyone!" Tohru replied, her wide eyes asking, What'd I do? "Kyo-kun and I always play Truth!"
"You always played Truth when you were Just Friends," Izi corrected. "But now that you've resolved to make that skinny-assed carrot top yours, you can't keep encouraging the impression that you don't think of him in a romantic sense."
"D-do you think he thinks I don't? Or, or do?"
Izi blinked. "Sweetie, you want him to think you do. Because you do. Remember?"
"Well, yeah, but..." She bit her bottom lip in a very good, very unconscious display of the epitome of innocence (which, considering her New Year's resolution, wasn't exactly true anymore).
"But what?" Izi questioned. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts. Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts."
"No, that's not - "
"Because I swear to God, Tohru," she hissed, "despite the fact that he can be a huge pain in my ass, he's still my blood and I care about him. If you break his heart..." She narrowed her eyes into deadly slits. "... I'll break you."
While most people would run away from the very real threat that was Izi - she could snap Tohru like a twig if she wanted to, after all, and anyone who had heard of her fight with Kagura knew she fought dirty - Tohru released her lip from between her teeth and her mouth curved up slowly. She knew Izi got fierce when it came to her friends, but Tohru had sort of assumed that Izi unconsciously thought of Kyo in the same way the rest of the Sohma family did: the cursed, unlovable Cat. To hear differently - and with such violent loyalty - made her smile even bigger.
This, it seemed, confused Izi-chan, who was more than willing to defend her cousin's honor. But at Tohru's perfect smile, she knew she wouln't be able to lay a finger on the girl - except, perhaps, to slap some sense into her.
"Izi," Tohru started serenely, "in no way, shape, or form am I having second thoughts about my feelings for Kyo-kun. But we've been friends for so long, and even after I knew I loved him I didn't think I'd ever be able to act on those feelings. So now, when I'm actually taking the step to make him know what I feel, I'm... I'm just scared, I guess."
"Well," Izi replied in the closest rendition of sheepish to ever cross her features, "that's understandable. I mean, you're getting ready to wear your heart on your sleeve, so you're supposed to be scared." A slightly awkward cough jumped from her lips. She didn't avert her eyes when she continued with, "And, you know, about the 'I'll break you' thing..."
"Oh, you don't have to explain," Tohru rushed. "I know you didn't mean it."
"Oh, no, I meant it," she replied coolly. "And I could, if I needed to. But, um, I wouldn't be happy about doing it. I don't want to have to hurt you. So - so don't hurt him." She attempted to look threatening to emphasize her point, but the effect was killed by the caring look in her eye.
The room tensed slightly as the awkward, post-bonding silence set it. Tohru laughed nervously, and in her best Izi impression cawed, "Okay, shut up before things get sappy!"
"Hey, when have I ever said that?"
"Oh, um..."
"Never mind," she sniped. "We got totally sidetracked, but it's time we actually discussed how you're going to, uh... fulfill your resolution. You with me?"
"Uh, yes. Go on," Tohru urged.
Izi smirked at her, and suddenly Tohru felt like she was taking an apple from a wicked serpent. But she quickly shook the thoughts away as Izi continued, "First, you will run out of milk..."
Tohru felt her cheeks flush as she replayed Izi instructions over in her head, making sure she forgot nothing. She glanced quickly at Kyo, who walked next to her carrying the bags of milk and other household products they were suddenly out of. He then glanced at her, as if he was aware of the sheer weight of her gaze. In that embarrassing, awkward moment of not only being caught staring but being stared at, they both looked away and pretended their red faces were from the cold air.
Tohru cleared her throat. "So, um, I really appreciate you coming to help me with the groceries."
"It's no problem," he replied.
"Yeah. Heh." She
looked away so that Kyo wouldn't notice how she was pinching herself
and gritting her teeth. She wasn't doing this right at all. But as
soon as that thought popped into her head, a tiny Izi-shaped shoulder
devil appeared. Tohru wondered absently if she was going
crazy... Um, Well, yes, you are. Were
you listening at all to the instructions? Never mind. You "ran
out" of milk and stuff, asked Kyo to escort you to the market -
which, yeah, is totally old-fashioned and it's not like you're
incapable of going alone, but still - and now you're wussing out,
yes? Oh, well... Yes. But we can fix that, doll. The
help has arrived. Do you
associate Izi with angels? Yeah, she is very. But that kind of very
will help you in this situation. Listen closely: pretend to yawn very
loudly, throwing your arms above your head...
Oh, don't worry, sweetie,
you're still sane as any of us, the shoulder
devil trilled. Although, considering you hang
out with mostly Sohmas, that isn't saying much. I'm just a cute,
familiar projection of your subconscious mind, telling what you
didn't really forget.
Tohru
pinched herself again to keep the smile off her face. I
mean, she's very...
... now bring your arms down and very subtly brush your fingers over his arm.As her fingertips grazed his coat-covered arm, Tohru was pleasantly surprised to feel him jump slightly at her touch. She had assumed he wouldn't feel it, or - worst case scenario - he'd just look at her with disgust and be all, "What do you think you're doing?"
In a flash of memories she had forbid herself to remember, Tohru had brushed her fingers along another part of Kyo while his lips were attached to her neck. She'd shivered with pleasure then and now, provoking Kyo's curious gaze.
"Are you cold?"
"Oh, I'm fi - " she started, then widened her eyes as one of the forgotten but not really forgotten tips from Izi came back to her.
If he asks you if you're cold, SAY YES. Ask him if he can HELP YOU WITH IT.So she swallowed the rest of the "fine" she was about to say and did her best to smile coyly. "Actually," she purred (and prayed she didn't sound like and idiot), "my... hands are kind of cold." (Well, they weren't hot, so it's not a lie.) "Can warm me up?" she finished with a surprising mix of demure-flirty-witty.
"Sure, take my gloves," he replied with a completely straight face.
Tohru felt like a tiny cartoon arrow was striking her through the chest.
So. Not. Getting it.
Don't
give up! the shoulder-Izi shrieked. He
may be clueless but he's still a guy!
Use your feminine wiles!Feminine
wiles. Right.
He tried to hand her his gloves, but she pushed them back at him and took a step closer. "I don't think you're understanding me," she murmured, curling her pinky around his. Slowly, she rolled the rest of her fingers around his and peered up at him, willing the blush off her cheeks. She let her lips purse the smallest bit, and gave a tiny smile from that.
"Can - you - warm - me - up?"
Was this for real?
Tohru - innocent, adorable Tohru - was flirting with Kyo? Asking him to 'warm her up,'? What did she mean by that? Was that the sound of his dirty teenage-boy mind imploding? He could swear he felt a bit of goo coming out his ear... that, and the burning sensation of his face feeling like two hundred degrees.
Her tiny hand. Curled around his. Her pure eyes. Staring into his. Her full lips. Nowhere near colliding with his.
It couldn't be. She couldn't be. He couldn't get his hopes up. Couldn't.
But her hand was still in his, and their eyes were still locked. Tohru, too, had a fierce blush slapped against her cheeks and across her nose, but for all Kyo knew it was intentional. He, however, was most sure that he looked like the stop sign that stood a few feet away from them.
They were still standing in the middle of the street, huh?
One corner of Tohru's mouth quirked upward, reminding Kyo how stupid he must look. Without thinking, he lightly squeezed her hand in his. In reply, Tohru's smile grew and she squeezed back. Then, continuing her odd un-Tohru-like behavior, she laughed out loud and turned, pulling Kyo towards their woods with a call of, "Don't be slow-poke, Kyo-kun!"
He merely blinked. Smiled. Let her pull him home.
Tohru had not been aware that clothes talked. She wore her school uniform and work uniform almost every day, and those didn't say anything to her. When she wore her own clothes it was only because they were comfortable and sometimes cute-looking; she wasn't trying to make any statements. The same went for her shoes: if they're comfortable, she'll wear them.
Izi was more than eager to show her differently.
Every outfit - from the tips of her shoes to the style of her hair to everything else in between, including earrings, bracelets, and nail polish - apparently said something about what she was feeling or her "vision," as Izi had referred to it as. And, on a very deep psychological level, that was true - but for the most part, Tohru did not think about nor care about fashion at all.
But, according to Izi, now that she was seriously going to make her feelings known to Kyo, she had to dress to impress. Her oldest, rattiest T-shirts were stuffed into the back of her closet, and in there place went new, cleavage-baring tops and lacy undergarments. Formfitting jeans that, admittedly, made her ass look amazing but she still feared would rip open if she bent over or sat down. She even spotted fishnets in her sock drawer one day.
None of this prepared her for The Shoes, though.
Black patent leather. Four inch stiletto heels. Pointed toe. Slingback.
Her feet hurt just looking at them.
"Oh, Tohru," Izi gushed. "Aren't they just the fuckiest fuck me shoes you've ever seen?"
"Wh - what?"
"That's what they're called. Fuck me shoes," she explained. "Hey, you're looking a little green. What's wrong?"
"They... those shoes..."
"Yes? What about The Shoes?"
Tohru swallowed. She couldn't move her eyes from The Shoes, even though picturing herself in them was causing her to sweat a little. It was like a horrific car accident: didn't want to watch, couldn't look away. As naive as Tohru was, she could see why they were called "fuck me" shoes. She wondered how Kyo would react if he saw her in them, along with maybe a pair of those jeans that actually managed to make her look like she had some junk in the trunk. Kyo would take one glimpse of her and then dip her and kiss her in that old movie way.
Yeah right. He'd explode and start yelling at Izi for dressing her like a whore. They'd been there, done that, and all they'd gotten was a crappy T-shirt that was now shoved in the back of Tohru's closet with the rest of the reject clothes. As fun as that had been the first time - not including the bathroom scene afterwards that actually was fun - Tohru did not feel like repeating it.
"Tohru? Are you okay?"
She started a little. "Pardon me?"
"I asked if you were okay," Izi repeated, peering at her curiously. "You were zoning out for, like, a full minute." She held up The Shoes, now with a smile gracing her lips. "Try them on."
"Um, okay," Tohru said. She took The Shoes from Izi and then stared at the, to which Izi rolled her eyes and steered Tohru towards the bed. As Tohru removed her socks at a much slower pace than necessary, Izi asked, "Any good dreams?"
"What?"
"When you were spacing out earlier," she clarified. "Any good dreams?"
Tohru feigned engrossment in putting the left Shoe on. "Oh, you know... stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" Izi pressed. "Like into-turkey stuff or on-my-cat stuff?"
Blinking and pulling The Shoes on practically on autopilot by now, Tohru replied, "Something like the second one."
"And what exactly are you thinking of putting on your Cat, Tohru?"
"Please don't say it like that," she groaned, letting herself fall backward onto her bed. "I... I'm just worried about how he'll react to The Shoes."
When Izi didn't reply for ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds, Tohru pushed herself up with a worried expression, only to see Izi staring at The Shoes with what could only be described as awe.
"Izi," Tohru started, "blink twice if you haven't gone catatonic."
"So... beautiful..." Izi squeaked, an admiring grin spreading across her face. "The Shoes... I'm... I'm so proud."
"Um. Of what?"
"Myself! For picking them out!" she chirped. Then she grabbed her coat and purse from where she'd flung them on Tohru's bed earlier and darted towards the door, calling over her shoulder to Tohru. "I'm gonna get myself a pair. Good luck!"
"No, wait, Izi! What do I - "
POOF!
And the next thing Tohru knew she was lying on her back in the middle of the hallway with an orange Cat flopped on her stomach. Orange smoke hung in the air around them as she heard the front door slam.
She blinked three times, glanced at the Cat and the various articles of clothing strewn around her, then shrieked, "Kyo-kun! I am so sorry, Kyo-kun! Are you alright?!"
"Hey, no, it's cool..." He crawled off stomach and shook his small orange head.
"No, Kyo-kun, it isn't!" Tohru cried, already on her knees and collecting Kyo's clothing from the floor. She spotted an overturned laundry basket and quickly started throwing the clothes into it. "I should have watched where I was going. I'm so sorry I made you drop all your..."
She held up a pair of lacy black cups.
"... bras?"
Turning her incredibly confused eyes towards Kyo, the Cat's orange fur seemed to turn a bit darker.
"I-I can explain," he mumbled.
She gave him a then please do look.
"No, okay, I wasn't trying to take your underwear or anything," he began, his Cat nose twitching in nervousness, "but I was just getting my laundry and then I saw that you had yours all folded, so I thought I would, y'know, bring it to you. And-and I swear, I thought it was just shirts and jeans in that pile, I wasn't being a perv. So... yeah."
She wondered vaguely why Kyo would be so nervous. She glanced again at the Cat, then at the bra in her hand - one of her new, extra sexy ones. She contemplated laughing out loud at the whole situation. She settled for a wicked smile.
Kyo just
continued staring at her with a mix of confusion, embarrassment, and
nervousness.
POOF!
Kind of short, but I'm ending it here
because I really just want to get a chapter up. So, here you go:
unintentional cliffie. And like I said, Kyki- The Late Night Writer:
SEND ME A PM. How was everyone's Halloween? It started raining
here, but it was actually very refreshing and never got too bad while
people were out (it started pouring the next day, though). I went
trick-or-treating even though some people think anyone over ten
should stop having fun on Halloween (including some of my friends'
parents); my costume was a Freudian slip and if you know what that is
I will be so happy, but if you don't that's okay. None of my friends
understood it, even though I explained it to them like five times. My
candy haul was a bit disappointing this year, but I suppose when you
get to a certain age people just don't like giving you candy as much
as when you're cute and little. Lily got a shitload, though, which is
completely unfair (she's a shortie with an angel face, so people just
naturally love her). Jax
Anyway, I'm asking for 25 reviews
again. I know it's possible. Ciao!
