Harry

How are you suppose to feel when you almost become like a father to your best friends?

I feel wrong like this is not suppose to happen to these guys, They don't deserve something like this to happen to them when they have done nothing wrong to anyone ever, That I know of anyway, They should not be punished for nothing why are they going through pain just when they reached their height of happiness?

I finish making Tom's noodles while Danny's pizza cooks in the oven on a low heat so I don't forget about it and burn it. When I walk back through to the front room I find both Tom and Danny huddled up under a duvy watching The Lion King at the point where simba runs away from those laughing things whatever they are called and into the desert where he meets Timon and Pumbaa. I swear the are almost like my children right now, Curled up under a duvy watching disney movies while I am in the kitchen making their dinner.

"okay Tom here is your noodles try not to spill them though so sit up" I say gently to tom because I don't want him to have another fit and panic attack. He has been getting them a lot lately when something reminds him of Dougie too much that it causes memories like the day he went into Rehab or when we found out about his addictions. Those memories are the most frequent visitors but others come along too like his wedding when we first got into this mess or the day we found out about him cutting.

His panic attacks are slightly scary he could be fine one moment then someone can do something then he is on the floor shaking and in tears which is not helping with the Danny situation.

Dan is constantly having nightmares and is worried all the time so when his closest friend is suffering like how he is well lets say when people deny him to see Tom after his attack's he will worry himself sick, Literally, He ends up being in bed for days after with the worst headaches but when Tom calms down the sit and watch movies together.

Since I am so busy looking after the other two I barely get time to myself and when I do it's always spent the same way, Missing Dougie, The guys may be beaten down but they are still together and they still have each other when they are down. It was always Tom and Danny then Dougie and Harry so if one of us is gone it breaks the system and one of us is alone.

"Someone called for you Harry" Danny whispers but keeps his eyes trailed on the tv. I don't let the guys answer the phone anymore because it only brings trouble for me to deal with later, They only get the phone if I have given the caller the okay. I do notice the blinking red light meaning we have a message so I pick up the phone and press redial and it rings until Sam's familiar voice answers me

"hello harry dear?"

"Hey sam you called?"

"yes well I have some good news...someone wants to speak to you"

When the person arrives on the phone I almost faint with shock.