"You don't have to hover, Dr. Wilcox said I would be fine" Neal rolled his eyes at his friend. The doctor had said he would recover from the wound without any trouble… Peter didn't need to know about the tests… at least not until the results were back. "I'll be out of here in two days and then…" he grinned "I can come home, right?"

"You don't like Arizona? I'm stunned." Peter looked anything but surprised.

"I like Arizona fine… the sunsets are really something special… and the dust storms are… incredible… beautiful and wild and… violent … I keep trying to paint them but…"he shrugged "I like it ok to visit but six months is long enough."

"Getting thrown around and shot probably soured you on the place a little too."

"If that were true I would never set foot in New York again." The guilt that flashed in brown eyes made Neal regret his words "but I'm ready to go back… more than ready. And I know Nate misses his friends. How are his parents holding up?"

"As well as you would expect… they may be released within 3 months. Neither one is inclined to be troublemakers as I understand."

"You've been keeping an eye on them?" Neal smiled brightly "Peter I do believe you are getting soft." He tried not to think about how hard it was going to be to give his son back when the time came. He tried not to be jealous that Nate would go back to the Bryant's who he adored and maybe never see or think of his Ph̀x again. He knew from the beginning this situation was temporary… that he was in essence a foster parent… but he couldn't help loving the boy. If circumstances had been different…he pushed away the heart ache rising in his chest to listen to his friend.

"Yeah well… this whole situation really hasn't been fair, for any of you."

"Maybe for me…"

"Definitely not for you. You were almost killed."

"Maybe I deserved it… Peter, I know you, you know about Johnny's daughter. You don't have to hide it from me."

"I do know." Peter took a deep breath "I don't know what Valdez said to you… accused you of but you need to know you had nothing to do with that girl's death."

"Peter… I got her dad fired… they lost their insurance… if she had been treated sooner…"

"She would have still died."

"What?"

"I spoke with her doctor… Williams spoke with her doctor and he told both of us the same thing. Even if she had been diagnosed and in treatment within twenty four hours of becoming noticeably sick… she would have still died."

"Really?"

"Really. They might have been able to buy her a few weeks but the form of Mesothelioma she had was extremely aggressive."

"Mesothelioma? That's caused by asbestos exposure… how would, a kid like that be exposed to…"

"The carpet factory… her father brought her there. Neal he used you as a scapegoat so he didn't have to face his own guilt. That is all there is to the story. None of it was your fault. None of it. No matter what Valdez told you." Peter hesitated

"Then if you weren't… if you knew I wasn't to blame why did you force me to go with the Marshals? You know how much confidence I have in them."

"I do." Peter sighed again "there was a mole inside White Collar. Someone called Richards while he was… beating you, to warn him we were coming. I had no idea who it was and that meant that I couldn't trust anyone at the office to protect you and Valdez had her own guilt crazed vendetta against you. So her team was out." He shrugged "I knew you wouldn't like it but keeping you safe was more important than making you happy."

"And that worked out so well" he was aiming for a teasing note but it came out almost angry.

"I didn't have many options, Neal." Again he hesitated "I'm sorry. I really am but…"

"You would do it again."

"I would." Peter straightened his shoulders resolutely "to keep you in one piece I would do it again. Neal didn't respond for a long moment.

"Did you find the leak?" he finally asked.

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He was nervous, Karl was willing to admit that. It was obvious that Wendy wasn't entirely convinced that all his sneaking out had been to see a criminal who was willingly helping him solve cases. She had insisted on meeting Neal. Karl wasn't sure that was a great idea, wasn't sure he wanted to look the man in the eye. He couldn't shake the feeling he had been deceived and that made him feel guilty after all the man had probably saved his life… whether intentionally or not. Facing Neal this morning wasn't high on things he wanted to do… he would have much rather give the situation a few days to calm down but Wendy requested an introduction and he wanted her to smile at him that way she used to, more than he wanted to hide. Burke met them coming in. He greeted Karl with a smile despite his long night.

"Is he up to visitors…? Wendy wants to meet him."

"Please." Burke almost chuckled "he's bored… maybe company will help."

"Yeah." Karl paused "are you sure he'll want to see me? I know he overheard some things last night…" the older man shook his head with a little smile

"Neal likes you. Like I told you last night... He's a good friend. When he decided to help you with Alicia Clayton he put his life in your hands… that is a huge thing for Neal. Trust isn't something he does lightly."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."

"It isn't intended to." Burke straightened his shoulders "it's meant to explain why he'll be glad to see you. You are his friend. Period. Neal doesn't throw away friends… much to my regret sometimes." He smiled a little at the memories his words obviously triggered.

"So this person does exist?" Wendy broke in. she kept her tone purposely light but Karl could hear the anxious edge on it.

"Yes he does." Burke's lips fought the smile briefly "my wife used to call him the other woman… when I was chasing him."

"She did?" from the look on Wendy's face Karl wasn't sure this was helping his case.

"Yep… now she reminds me to invite him to dinner at least once a week."

"I see." Wendy still looked like she thought Burke was crazy but at least her expression was softening a little.

"Well I have to go" the older man "I need to make some calls, make arrangements for the trip home." He turned to leave then stopped "Karl if you ever want a transfer to New York… my team could use an agent like you."

"Really?"

"There aren't many people Neal trusts… that's pretty impressive." With that he turned and quickly walked away. Karl wrapped an arm around his wife's waist and guided her toward the room at the end of the hall.

Neal was out of bed, curled loosely in the seat by the window, a book propped against the arm of the chair. He wore his own pajamas and a silk robe. If not for the IV in his right arm it would have been easy to forget he was in a hospital room, definitely an improvement over last night. He looked up from his reading and shot a slightly lopsided grin at Karl. He offered a small wave.

"I wondered if I'd see you before I left." He lay the book aside "I take it this is your beautiful wife."

"Yes this is Wendy. Sweet heart this is M-Neal."

"I can't tell you how relieved I am to meet you." She tried to smile.

"Not the usual reaction I get when I meet a lady." He laughed. Then he grew completely serious "Wendy trust me you have no reason to suspect Karl of anything inappropriate." His directness startled Karl but Neal wasn't finished "he loves you… talks about you all the time. You are the center of his world." His eyes grew sad… "Not everyone finds someone to love them that way… when you do you hang on to them with everything you have."

"Neal…?" Karl began. The other man seemed to notice their looks for the first time.

"Sorry." He laughed briefly and dropped his eyes. When he looked up his smile was perfectly in place "I'm sorry… the pain killers must be making me sentimental."

"It's ok" Wendy surprised Karl by wiping at her eyes. "I think I needed to hear that. I know he loves me, but Karl sometimes forgets to tell me. It's good to know he tells everyone else."

"I have a good friend who is the same way." the young man sympathized. "His wife is his whole world but…" Karl made a mental note to tell his wife more often how he felt about her. Maybe he would buy her roses on his way home tonight… take her to dinner somewhere nice. He smiled his gratitude at the other man.

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Juggling crutches and his bandaged arm Neal tried to push away the words the doctor told him that morning. He needed to concentrate on getting one foot in front of the other… he was going home back to his life. The test results didn't matter, didn't change anything. Dr. Wilcox said as much. Neal was going home, Richards was going to prison and Nate was safe… everything was as it should be. Except it really wasn't. The conversation played through his mind on a constant loop.

"So, will I live?" he as the doctor when he told him the tests were in.

"For now? Yes." Dr. Wilcox sat down in the chair beside his bed placing himself at eye level with his patient. "Your liver and kidneys are functioning at about 90% which is exceptional given the damage that was done to them just a few months ago… were you aware the doctors in New York remove nearly a third of your liver?" Neal vaguely remembered someone explaining that to him… along with the assurance that you could live with only fifty percent… "your heart and lungs are struggling a little bit right now due to recent blood loss…which while relatively minor put some strain on… shall we say already over taxed organs. Overall your systems are compensating quite well for the scaring and damage caused by the incident."

"That's good news" Neal grinned easily but the doctor did not "Isn't it?"

"It is good news…" Wilcox looked at the young man "but compensating the way they are… puts serious stress on your organs… eventually they may… begin to deteriorate."

"What does that mean, exactly."

"If it happens… your systems will begin to shut down, organs will fail… in time… your body will be unable to function."

"I see." He swallowed his fear "is there anything I can do… to prevent or delay it."

"My advice… "Dr. Wilcox stood up and regarded him gravely. "Live your life, see your doctor in New York regularly, and take decent care of yourself. Try not to worry about this too much… It could be forty years down the road before it becomes an issue."

"But you don't think it will be?"

"I honestly don't know" the doctor smiled kindly "but I do know… whether you have one year or fifty you will never regret living your life fully."

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Peter could see literally see Neal trying not to think about something the four weeks since they left Arizona. The younger man was distracted… his expression often sad. The agent was pretty sure he could guess what was haunting his friend. He frequently watched him with Nate. Neal and the boy had grown so attached, Peter knew, without a doubt, that giving the child back to his adoptive parents would devastate his friend… almost as much as losing Nate's mother had.

He found them as he often did in the park… the playground by the statue of the violinist. Peter chuckled as he caught his normally suave partner chasing the small boy over the equipment. The young man still moved painfully slow leaning heavily on the cane in his right hand but he compensated in the game of tag by being sneaky. His face lit by laughter Neal looked younger as he allowed Nate to catch him and pull him down with a move that was half tackle, half hug.

"Hey" he called noticing the older man and extraditing himself from the child and pushing himself to his feet gingerly.

"Hello." Peter chuckled "you look like you were having fun. I'm not sure if this means you are growing up or reverting farther."

"It's what fathers are supposed to do, isn't it?" Neal actually sounded uncertain. "I just want him to have some good memories of me before he goes home." If his voice broke a bit on the last word they both ignored it, allowing a comfortable silence to fall between them.

"You know you could fight giving him back." Peter finally said.

"Peter…"

"You actually have a very strong legal argument that their adoption was invalid."

"I couldn't…"

"She forged your signature on the documents… she never informed you about the adoption or for that matter about Nate…"

"They love him Peter. They are good people and they love him and he deserves to be loved by good people. Besides he loves them so much."

"He loves you too, and you love him."

"Because I love him I can't deny him the family he's known all his life… that would be selfish."

"Maybe it doesn't have to be…" he smiled as he thought of the idea… it was perfect.

"What are you thinking Peter?" Neal watched his expression… his eyes widening as he suddenly caught the older man's plan.