Chapter 28: Trina Decides

*****Still at the Hospital*****

Trina took a nervous breath as she took her newborn son into her arms for the first time. She was thunderstruck as she gazed down at him. He had deep blue eyes and just a tiny puff of reddish orange hair. The eyes must come from his daddy, whoever he was. Or maybe his eyes would change colors like she'd read in one of those baby books. She brushed a hair lightly through his few puffs of hair and down his arms. He latched on tightly to her finger. She was transfixed. This beautiful baby came out of her. She made it. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel like a failure. Her baby was proof that she did something right. How could she just turn him over to strangers? What if they hurt him? What if he grew up thinking his birth mother hated him? What if he never got over her abandonment?

Logan watched his sister looking down at her son. She seemed frozen. "Trina, are you okay?" he asked.

"How can I just give him away?" she asked, looking at Logan. She was obviously in turmoil.

"Sis, this is your son. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do or anything you can't live with," Logan told her.

"What do you feel when you look at him?" Mac asked her. She and Trina had talked about the adoption and how she felt about it many times.

"I feel incredibly happy that something so perfect came out of me," she admitted.

"Have some faith in yourself, Trina. You can be a mom. We'll help you," Veronica added.

Trina looked at all of them and back down at her baby. She knew that they meant it. She wasn't alone. Although she still didn't think she'd make much of a mother, she couldn't bear the thought of turning her baby over to strangers. Not knowing how he would be or what would happen to him filled her with paralyzing fear. She couldn't do it. There was no way she could give him up to strangers. Finally making the decision set her free. She looked up and smiled at her brother.

"You're right. I don't want to give my baby to strangers. I couldn't live with myself not knowing how he was or how he was being treated," Trina said.

Logan and Veronica shared a look of mutual happiness, both thrilled at her decision.

"All you got to do now is name him. Feel free to use Ronnie," Veronica said with a grin while Logan snickered at the suggestion.

Trina thought for a moment. She had always loved her father, but she knew that her son would never be a part of his legacy. He hadn't been the man she thought he was. Nor could she hurt Logan that way. Not now. Not after all he'd done for her lately. She wanted his name to be special, to say what she hoped for him. "Logan Richard Echolls. We'll call him Richie," she announced, smiling happily at her brother.

"Logan? Are you sure?" Logan asked in surprise.

"I am sure. I know if you have a son you and Veronica may want to name him Logan, but I want my son to grow up and become like his uncle. You may be the only father figure he'll have," Trina said.

"And Richard?" Mac asked, unsure if the name meant what she thought it meant.

Trina grinned. "Dick has been so sweet to me ever since he found out I was pregnant. He's wonderful with Lily, and I know he'll be wonderful to my son. We will NOT be calling him Dick. I like Richie. Two Logan's can get confusing," she said.

"I like Richie," Logan said, grinning.

"Me, too," Veronica said.

"Can we take little Richie to the waiting room? I know there's some people who would love to meet him," Logan said.

"Sure," Trina replied.

"Afterward, I will wheel you back to your room," Mac said to Veronica. "You need to rest."

Logan gave her a sharp glance. She looked happy, but he could tell that her energy was wagging. "I second that. If you rest up, they'll probably let you go home tomorrow," he said to her.

"I will be. They just need me to stay overnight for observation, mainly due to my pregnancy and slight concussion," Veronica replied.

Logan nodded and held out his arms for his new nephew. Trina reluctantly handed him over. "Watch his head," she warned.

"Don't worry. I got this!" he exclaimed with a proud smile.

The baby started fussing. Logan grinned down at him as he kicked his little legs. "He must be hungry already," he said.

"Go show him off so he can have his first feeding. I wanna be there for that," Veronica said. "Are you going to breast feed?"

The disgusted look on Trina's face answered that question, and the girls laughed. Logan looked uncomfortable. "Okay, on that note, me and Richie are outta here!"

Mac followed him as they made their way to the waiting room. When they entered the room, Keith, Alicia, Dick, and Duncan all stood.

"Guys, I want you to meet my nephew. Logan Richard Echolls," Logan announced with a proud look. "Trina decided to keep him, and she wants us to call him Richie."

"Yes!" Dick said excitedly, pumping is fist in the air. Then he thought about it a moment. "Richard?"

Mac gave him a misty-eyed look. "Yes, Dick, she named him after you and Logan," Mac said. She gave him a hug.

Dick's mouth fell open in stunned amazement. When it finally sunk in, he grinned ear from ear. "That's so awesome!" he exclaimed. He went over to get a closer look.

"Can I hold him?" he asked Logan.

"Of course," Logan replied. He handed him over, giving him instructions on how to hold him.

Dick grinned down at little Richie. "This is so cool!" he exclaimed. He looked down at his tiny hands and feet. "I don't think I've ever seen a newborn before. At least not this close. They're so itty-bitty!"

Alicia, Keith, and Duncan crowed around, admiring the baby. Finally, Alicia convinced Dick that it was her turn. She cooed over the now crying baby. "He's hungry," she observed. "Oh, Keith. Just look at him. I remember when my boys were this small. I can't wait until Veronica gives us our first grandbaby!"

Keith smiled at her, finding her enthusiasm contagious. He still hadn't quite gotten used to the idea of his baby having a baby, but it was becoming more real all the time. However, he couldn't help the disquiet he felt over it. Her life seemed to be a roller coaster of peaks and valleys. If she lost the baby, he wasn't sure she and Logan could survive the loss. Keith made up his mind to go find Jake before he went home for the night. He didn't want to see her in the hospital again until her own delivery time.

After a few minutes of admiring the baby, Logan took his nephew back to his mom. The nurse was there. "Just in time. I have the baby's bottle ready for momma to feed him," the nurse said.

Logan handed the baby over to Trina. The nurse gave her some instructions about feeding and demonstrated how to burp the baby. Both Logan and Veronica listened intently, knowing they'd need to know this. If Trina was keeping the baby, they were both determined to know how to help with the baby. It would be good practice for their own little tyke.

Trina felt something inside her melt as she fed her baby for the first time. His eyes stayed closed as he hungrily sucked down the bottle. The nurse reminded her about the burping. The nurse placed a small towel on her shoulder. "All newborns spit up a lot. A towel or even a receiving blanket is always handy to have around for just this thing," she advised. "Yes, just like that. Small, gentle taps."

After a minute or so, Richie let out a loud burp that had them all laughing in delight. "Wow!" Logan enthused, very impressed.

Another nurse aid appeared. "Miss Mars, you really need to come back to your room. The nurse on your floor sent me to fetch you. You need your rest, and it's time for some meds," the young woman said to Veronica.

"Miss Echolls and her baby need to rest, too," Trina's nurse aid said.

"I can take a hint. We'll leave," Logan said reluctantly. He kissed his sister and his nephew on their respective cheeks and turned back to Veronica. "Okay, Wheels, let's get you back to your room." He went behind Veronica's wheelchair. Veronica pouted a bit but knew that she needed to rest.

Back in her room, Logan waited until the nurse left and finished fussing over Veronica. Then he went over to the left side of her bed. "Skoosh over," he said. She moved over so that he could lay down next to her. He put his arms around her, careful not to jar her shoulder. "Now it's your time," he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

Veronica was a bit frustrated because she couldn't hug him close. "I hate being so immobile," she complained.

"I can imagine," he said with sympathy. "I'm just so relieved it wasn't worse."

Veronica glanced up at him. "Are you really happy about our baby?" she asked.

"Happy is too mild a word to describe what I feel," he replied. "I know this is sooner than we planned, but I can't be anything but overjoyed to know we're going to start a family. That we've created something perfect like little Richie."

"Do you want a boy?" she asked curiously.

"I wouldn't be upset if it's a boy, but if I could pick, I'd rather it be a girl like Lily. I want a miniature you to run around and chase after," Logan said with a grin.

Veronica's eyes misted at the picture he painted. She didn't deserve him. "I love you. I'm sorry," she said softly.

"I know," he said stroke his fingers through her hair. "I'm so relieved you're both okay. I can't lose you." His fear that he someday would was always on the edges of his consciousness. It still hurt him that she had kept her pregnancy from him and that he had to find out like this. A part of him wanted to rage and make her feel bad. However, he'd like to think he'd grown up some. He was no longer the petulant boy who'd lash out first and cause equal hurt and pain. Veronica had been on the receiving end too many times of his anger and his disdain. It would take many more years before he felt completely resolved of the many wrongs he did to her in high school. Although he knew she had forgave him completely, he still hadn't completely forgiven himself. His feelings about her secrecy were conflicted.

As Veronica snuggled into him as best she could, he continued to stroke her hair until she fell asleep. He loved her so much. Her pregnant with his child was his greatest dream. The fact that she waited so long to tell him and may have waited even longer if this had not happened filled him with a lot of doubt and dismay. Maybe she really didn't see him as father material. Who could blame her? Unlike Veronica, he had nothing but a monster for an example. He used to think having children was the last thing he wanted. Fear that he'd end up like his dad had convinced him fatherhood would never be for him. However, the more he loved Veronica and the more he saw himself through her eyes, the more he wanted it all. He wanted a family with her. She had given him so much, and he wanted to give her what she hadn't had really either. A family with parents that loved and respected each other equally. He wanted a future with her. Now, however, he worried that maybe she had her doubts about him. Why else would she wait so long to tell him her good news unless it wasn't good new to her? He knew her fears about Sorokin were real. He understood her concerns. But she took someone else to the doctor with her. She covered up why she was ill. She lied to him and went out of her way to deceive him. He thought they were past that. He really believed they had grown and no longer had to play those kinds of games again. So his hurt and disappointment warred with his joy. Right now he was a new uncle and the woman he loved was okay and pregnant with his child. In this moment, nothing else really mattered.

He closed his eyes and joined her in sleep.

*****Chapter End******

I'm not trying to push what Veronica did under the rug. Logan isn't either. He will have to work through it. But like most guys, he can only focus on the task at hand! :) Reviews are greatly appreciated!