Yuki had seen Tohru last night and had called her twice since then, but he already felt deprived of her presence. He needed to see her again. Yuki stood by his window, scanning the area below him for any person who might cross his path as he made his way off the castle grounds. The two guards by the gates weren't looking his way, not that they even had their eyes open anyways. He slid open the window and was about to jump out when his door swung open. Yuki slammed the window shut, turning around innocently. His mother stood at his doorway with an uncharacteristic, wide smile across her face.
"Yuki, my son! Good news! Come with me!" she cried excitedly.
"What is it?" Yuki asked suspiciously.
What was good to her was always bad news to him. Besides, she hardly, if ever, acknowledged him as her son in a benign voice. Actually, he wasn't quite sure if he had ever heard her speak cheerfully before. He stared incredulously at the smiling woman that was supposed to be his mother. She didn't respond, just continuing to wave him over with her hand instead. Yuki let out a deep breath and walked over to his mother. She instantly took his hand and led him downstairs, he noted, with a bounce in her step. He followed her to the entrance tentatively.
"I don't see anything-" Yuki started.
Before he could finish his sentence, three people stood up, bowing to him. None of them he could recognize, but from the smile on his mother's face and something his father had told him about an engagement almost a year ago, the girl in the middle could only be Princess Machi, his fiancée. Yuki unintentionally wrinkled his face in dislike. It wasn't that he found her appearance hideous or anything like that, but she wasn't Tohru. Luckily, he forced his face back to normal before anyone noticed his distaste with this whole arrangement. He clenched his jaw together to keep himself from letting his expression go back to one of disgust.
"Yuki, I'd like you to meet Princess Machi and her parents. Kuragi-san, this is my son, Yuki. I'll assure you he'll take good care of your daughter," his mother smiled.
"It's nice to meet you…" the girl greeted him softly.
She didn't even look up at him as she spoke.
Despite the similarities in hair color, she was nothing like Tohru. Tohru would have been smiling broadly, even if she was meeting the man she was unwillingly betrothed to. This girl, on the other hand, was frowning and downright uncomfortable here. She was standing stiffly and was nearly shaking. That reminded him of how Tohru had looked like when she had first been confronted by Ayame and Shigure. She had looked so tiny and helpless then, so scared and fragile. Feeling the urge to call Tohru and make sure she was alright, he silently tapped his foot. He was impatient and more than ready to bolt back to his room. It was unreasonable to worry over Tohru's fears for no reason like this, but he couldn't help it.
"I thought you said they weren't coming back until late spring," Yuki muttered, trying his best to hide his obvious frustration.
"Don't be rude Yuki! Besides, the sooner the better, right?"
"Sooner or later… I guess it doesn't matter. My life is due to be over anyways…" Yuki rolled his eyes.
"Yuki! If you're going to be rude, go to your room!" she snapped angrily.
"Fine. I will. Anything is better than being here," he agreed with her with no signs of protest which seemed to anger her even more.
Yuki turned around without a bow or goodbye and went straight to his room. He knew where he wanted to be, and it wasn't here, but before he could escape, his father entered the room. Yuki spun around in an annoyed manner and took a step away from the window.
"What do you want?" Yuki groaned.
His father didn't respond. He just walked around the slightly messy room, peering around and idly kicking clumps of clothes covering the floor out of his path. He silently made a mental note to assign a maid to be in charge of keeping Yuki's room tidy. This seemed to be the only room in the castle that seemed to get piled up with junk. It almost seemed out of place compared to the spotless corridors and dustless rooms that nobody used. He sighed, shoving his thoughts about the cleanliness of his son's room to the back of his mind and refocused.
"If you want me to apologize, I won't. I don't think I did anything wrong. So if that's what you want-" Yuki started to say.
"I have a deal for you," his father cut in.
Yuki looked taken aback. What could his father possibly have that he wanted? There was only one thing he wanted, and that was to be with Tohru. His father still didn't meet his gaze. Yuki leaned against his desk, awaiting an explanation from his father, but he didn't elaborate. Yuki rapped his fingers against the wooden top of the table, eager for his father to spit out whatever he had to say so he could go see Tohru already. His tacit rushing didn't help encourage his father to say anymore.
"What? What could you possible give me that'll make me agree to marry someone I don't love? Someone I don't even know?" Yuki questioned coldly.
"The person you do love…" he answered vaguely.
Yuki stared at him, not letting his shock show. His father couldn't possibly know about Tohru! How did he find out? The guard… But then why didn't he do or say anything before? Besides, what did he mean he had the person he loved? His father couldn't have kidnapped Tohru, right? Yuki had just received a call from her a little over an hour ago. His fingers grasped the table edge tautly. Even though the whole idea of his father holding Tohru hostage was ridiculous and even though he was aware of that little fact, he still couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of concern that drenched his body.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play innocent, Yuki. You know very well who I'm talking about, and I'll be willing to push off the wedding until summer if you agree to it willingly," he offered, facing Yuki for the first time.
Yuki held back his laughter. He wasn't sure whether he found his father's offer more humorous or offensive. The idea of simply just pushing the wedding off by a few months was the most absurd thing Yuki had ever heard. His father might as well tie a string around Tohru and dangle her in front of him while keeping her just out of his reach for a few months. That type of taunting would probably be more amusing than prolonging the marriage, and it'd have the same results. In the end, Tohru would just be out of his reach.
"Three more months? Wow. I'm just so delighted," Yuki said, bitter with sarcasm.
"Yuki, even a second longer with the one you love is worth it," he replied.
"You're wrong. Every second I'm with her, I just love her more and more. It'll just hurt both of us more when I do marry Machi…" Yuki responded, hints of pain showing.
Yuki sighed, burying his face in his hands. He felt so hopeless. He had known about this stupid betrothal for nearly a year, yet in all of those months, he had never come up with a single way out of this. He should have just stopped seeing Tohru when he found out he was engaged, but he didn't. He couldn't. There had been more than the magnetic force of attraction yanking him towards her. There had been their long lost love drawing him there and ruthlessly shoving his heart back into her awaiting hands.
"What are you going
to do then?"
"I don't know… But I'm not marrying
Machi," Yuki answered determinedly.
"Yuki, you aren't going to be able to stop it. Nobody's asking for your opinion."
"But I can try."
His dad sighed, taking a seat on Yuki's bed. He patted the area next to him, signaling Yuki to sit. Cautiously, Yuki dropped down next to his father. He trusted his father just a tad bit more than he trusted his mother, but sadly, he had more faith in Ayame –which wasn't very much to begin with- than the two of them combined. Basically, Yuki would rather stab himself than confide in any of those three. Sometimes, Yuki wondered how he was related to anyone in this family. He would let someone get away with saying he looked vaguely like his mother and father, but personality wise, he was convinced that he had been adopted.
"Tell you what… If you can convince Machi to drop this wedding, it just might work," his dad suggested.
The not so nice thoughts of his father fluttering around in Yuki's head stopped as soon as he heard that. He was too bewildered to think much of anything. The words simply repeated themselves over and over again in his head until their meaning was comprehended. His mouth dropped an inch.
He didn't have to marry Machi.
It was almost too good to be true. Yuki partially suspected that he was dreaming, but it wasn't extraordinary enough to be a mind's creation. If this was a dream, his mother would waltz in here within five minutes to tell him that she wanted him to marry Tohru instead of Machi. He remained silent as the three hundred seconds passed, but his mother didn't come, so this couldn't be a figment of his imagination. He pinched his arm to make sure, and surely enough, he felt the pain. Suspiciously, he eyed his father. As much as he wanted to believe it, this was too good to be true.
"Are you serious?"
"I'll give you one date next week with her. If she wants to drop it, you're free. But if she still wants to get married, you'll go along with it willingly," he bargained.
"Deal."
It was worth a shot. Any chance that'd get him out of this ordeal, he'd try. No matter how low the chance was. Being able to be with Tohru was worth trekking down any trail whether it was through the blazing desert, across the freezing artic, dangerous, or all of the previous combined. Besides, even if he turned down this deal, his engagement with Machi wouldn't just disappear, no matter how badly he wanted it to, and regardless of how many shooting stars he made wishes upon.
"Good luck son… And none of this gets out to anyone else, especially your mother."
Yuki nodded, laying down on his bed. His dad smiled faintly. He didn't say anymore, and Yuki didn't push for any other deals he would like. His dad stood up and left without another word. Yuki lied there, trying to figure out what to do. After a few minutes of having no brilliant idea smack into his head, he sighed, getting out of his bed. What could he say to break off an engagement? Yuki had no idea what kind of person Machi was and what would get through to her. She seemed quiet and nice, but looks could always be deceiving. The best choice would be to come up with many ideas. Out of all of them, one was bound to work.
"Pity? Will that work? If I tell her about Tohru, will she let me go? Or what if I act rude and obnoxious? No girl would want to marry me then…" Yuki considered plan after plan. This would have been much easier if only he knew Machi even a little bit, but he didn't. He didn't know a single thing about her other than her name and her physical appearance. He couldn't understand how his mother could force him to marry a girl he had just met today. He did know that his mother had some sort of control issue though.
Most likely, this would only temporarily get him out of a betrothal. His mother would just find another girl. Knowing his mother, she probably had a whole list of other girls that would readily marry him if this engagement with Machi didn't go so smoothly. Too bad he as positive Tohru wasn't on that list. She'd probably prefer a commoner over Tohru though he would never understand how his mother could hate such a perfectly sweet angel. Then again, he hardly even considered his mother human. He doubted she even had a heart. She probably sold it the same time she had given her soul to the devil.
--
A few days later, Yuki was still making up various plans. There were only a couple of days until his date with Machi, and so far, his ideas all just seemed ridiculous. Nothing he had come up with so far even made him want to cancel the engagement, and if he wasn't convinced, how could he expect some stranger to be? He crinkled up his latest notes hopelessly and hurled another failure into his overflowing trashcan. He was nowhere closer to figuring out what he was going to say to Machi, and he was already partially asleep. These past nights, he'd been staying up late trying to construct the perfect strategy. The only break he allowed himself were the couple of hours he spent with Tohru, but as soon as he came back, he went back to work.
Yuki glanced out the window at the bright moon, then back at his cell phone. He was waiting for it to start vibrating again, to signal to him that he had another message from Tohru. Impatiently, he picked it up again, flipping it open to read her last one. He had gotten it less than five minutes ago. It was a simple message.
I love you, Yuki-kun.
It still made his heart flutter, regardless.
Her messages always filled his heart with warmth, but after that joy faded away, it left him with a sickening feeling in the bottom of his stomach.
What if he couldn't break this engagement? What would Tohru do if she saw him marry Machi? She'd cry, and he'd die. Yuki could never stand to see her upset. There were only two things he was scared of, two things that bothered him: losing her and making her unhappy. That kind of thinking lingered after his every action, after every word he said to her. He thought twice about everything he did around her, careful not to do a thing that might make her sad. Though the first, he could live without. He could live if she wasn't with him as long as she was happy. She could move on if she found that she loved someone more than him. He wouldn't die without her, but he would if a frown ever lingered across her face for too long.
He wouldn't have much of a life without her though. She was the sunshine in his otherwise dreary, dark, emotionless life. He wouldn't be able to do much without her light and guidance to aid him, but to cage her and force her to remain by his side to keep cheer and happiness in his life would be beyond cruel. Her light and sparkle would eventually fade with that sort of treatment. He would never let her flame burn out, even if his was washed out instead. She deserved to be happy more than he did.
He flipped his phone shut and shoved it down his pants' pocket. It was late out. She had probably fallen asleep before she got his message. He sighed and laid his head on the table sleepily. He wanted to crawl under his covers and stop fighting off sleep, but he couldn't, not until he figured out a way to make Machi break the engagement. He didn't have much so far, and he couldn't rest until he was sure he had a way to get out of this arrangement. The only thing that made him continue was the thought that he was doing this for Tohru.
"Just for a second… I'll rest my eyes…"
His eyes shut for what he planned to be just a brief moment, but instead, he ended up falling into a deep slumber. His mind lured him to sleep with tempting dreams of an unlikely happily ever after ending to his and Tohru's story where they actually wound up together, and there wasn't really much convincing him to wake up. Fantasy always seemed much simpler than reality, not to mention about a thousand times better, excluding the times when he was with Tohru. To him, everything seemed a million times better if Tohru was in the picture.
"Yuki! Get up!"
Yuki jerked back in his chair, looking around the sunlit room, confused. He blinked, not fully awake yet. His head slowly maneuvered to either side of the room, searching for the source of the noise that had awakened him, but his half open eyes registered nothing other than the blinding light of the sun. The glare of the bright rays stung his eyes, but his sleepy brain didn't think to turn his face away from the windows nor to close his already partially shut eyes. Yuki nearly went back to sleep, but that voice spoke again before he plopped his head back down.
"Why weren't you sleeping in bed?"
Yuki turned towards the intruder of his room. Still half asleep, it took a moment for him to realize that it was his dad and the fact that he looked terribly angry, but who could blame the king? He had been standing there next to Yuki for over half an hour trying to get Yuki to move more than a centimeter.
It took a moment for Yuki to realize that the question had been directed towards him, and it took another second for him to interpret the meaning of the word combination. His face tilted downwards, learning for the first time that he had even been sleeping at his desk. Why wasn't he sleeping in bed? Yuki glanced up at his dad, his confusion evident in his eyes. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, wondering why nobody seemed to let him sleep anymore. Even sleeping on his desk was better than being awake right now.
"Ah… It doesn't matter. Go get ready for your date," his dad ordered.
"I thought you said that was tomorrow…" Yuki mumbled.
"Well when I talked to Machi-san last night, it turned out that she's busy tomorrow so I changed it to today," he explained with a careless shrug.
Yuki's heart skipped a beat. Today. He had to go see Machi today and convince her to drop the marriage today, and he had no plan whatsoever. His stomach twisted around nervously, leaving him feeling slightly queasy.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Yuki grunted as he stood up.
"I just did, didn't I? Now go get ready. Don't blow it. It's the only chance you'll ever get."
"No pressure," Yuki muttered as he left to go get changed.
He pulled on simple clothes, not even bothering to check whether his shoes matched or not. It wasn't like today he was going to run into Tohru today. Who cared about what he looked like? Yuki did wash his face though, in attempt to fully wake up, but he was still tired no matter what he tried. Slowly, he walked downstairs to the entrance where Machi was waiting for him. As soon as she heard his footsteps, she turned away from the window she had been previously staring out, but she took no steps towards him even though he had stopped about ten feet away from her.
"Sorry for making you wait…" Yuki apologized honestly.
She didn't respond. Her face remained expressionless, void of all signs of even hearing him. Yuki walked over to her awkwardly, fighting the urge to grimace. His task would be unbelievably difficult. He could tell just by the way she stood. She stood straight up, her blank eyes staring at him, her lips firmly spread out in a straight line. He could guess she was more or less an independent girl without much of a soft side. It didn't look like his pity idea would get through to her. There went one of his few ideas.
"Er… You look nice today…" Yuki added, trying to break the silence.
"Not really…" she spoke softly with her face towards the ground.
Yuki opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came to mind. If it had been Tohru, he would have had a million things to say, but with Machi, his mind went blank. He wouldn't say Machi was ugly at all. She was dressed in a semiformal dress that cut off several inches before her ankles, and she had a thin white coat on that matched her white high heels. The front ends of her shoulder length hair were pulled back with a matching yellow bow. Not one bit horrid, but unlike Tohru, she couldn't make his heart beat erratically.
"Okay,
so where would you like to go today?" Yuki asked politely.
"…I don't know…" she answered indecisively.
"Well, do you want to stay here or go out?"
"Anywhere is fine with me…" she responded timidly.
Yuki nodded and opened the door for her. She walked out, not daring to look at him. He followed her oddly, feeling slightly out of place. With Tohru, everything was so natural, but with Machi, he had to force himself to speak and walk beside her. Just thinking of Tohru made him want to just dart away from Machi and down the long path to Tohru's home, and the only thought that kept him beside her was the fact that if he could succeed in this task, then he just might have one less reason for Tohru to become angry at him. They walked off the castle grounds and continued in complete silence.
"… So how are you this morning?"
"You don't have to say anything. I know that you don't like me," she replied, looking off into the distance.
Yuki glanced at her. Could it be that she wanted to be here even less than he did? Or did his father tell her something? He peered away from her, gazing idly at the trees surrounding the dirt trail they were walking down. He carefully thought through his response before turning his head back towards her. She had stopped walking and was staring at him with her eyebrows raised, daring him to object to her statement. He blew out the breath he had been holding and trudged back over to her.
"That's not true. I don't even know you well enough to say that I don't like you," Yuki told her truthfully.
"The point is you don't like me enough to want to marry me. So being polite and going on this date was completely pointless," she declared rather coldly.
"My thought is that you shouldn't have to marry someone your parents want you to. Whom you love and marry should be up to you, not your parents, don't you agree, Kuragi-san?"
Machi was shocked by his formal attitude. She didn't understand this guy. He wanted her to drop this engagement. He never wanted to see her ever again. So why was he bothering with being nice and respectful to her? She had had a bad impression of him since she had first heard that she would be marrying him. Machi had naturally assumed that he'd be just another one of those stuck-up, narcissistic princes, and her thoughts about him only worsened the day she met him. After a rude greeting from him, she had been sent upstairs to his room, ordered by his mother to do so, and heard him speaking to his dad about ways to get out of marrying her. Of course, she left as soon as the conversation was over so he didn't know she had even been there. His mother seemed to believe her when she said she had spoken to him.
Though she didn't show it, her surprise was obvious to him.
"I know you want me to break off this engagement."
Yuki looked at her, his eyes showing signs of confusion. She continued without looking at him, "It's okay… I don't care. Just say you want to."
"Well yes, I do… But wouldn't you rather marry someone you love instead of me?"
She looked up at him. Never in her life had someone asked her for her opinion so many times. Why did he care so much about what she thought when he didn't even love her? She eyed him accusingly, suspicious now of some underlying intent he had to have. Yuki seemed baffled by the distrustful expression she was giving him. He wasn't used to being around someone so apprehensive. No one in the castle dared to act wary around him, even if they didn't trust him, and Tohru, the person he was around the most, was trusting to the point of gullibility. He smiled at the passing thought of his beloved, but it came with concern. Who knew what kind of trouble her credulousness was getting her into now?
"Why do you even care about me?"
"Because you're a person too, Kuragi-san. And everyone needs to be cared about. I don't need to love someone romantically to care for them. So even if I sound selfish now, I hope we can be friends in the future," Yuki replied.
"Friends?"
He nodded. That had surprised her more than anything he had said today. He hardly seemed like the same guy she had met last week. She was beginning to suspect that he was bipolar. Nobody she knew ever had such drastic changes in personality. She did like this side of him a lot more though, but this perfection of his, inside and out, frightened her. She had always hated 'perfect'. Maybe that's what struck her as odd when she had first met him. All her life, she had searched for flaws in everything so she could accept them, or she'd end up making them herself. She didn't handle 'perfect' very well which meant she couldn't be with this guy.
"Go… I couldn't marry you if I tried. You're too perfect for me…" Machi mumbled.
"Perfect? No… I'm far from perfect. I can hardly protect the one I love… There are a million guys who are better than me."
"Shut up… Just go already."
"Thank you…" Yuki breathed the words delicately.
"Yuki-kun?"
Yuki turned around to face the person who had called him. He froze, staring in shock at the slender woman several feet from him. Her mouth hung open in surprise for a second before her face contorted with anguish. If she had ever experienced a mass amount of pain before, it was nothing compared to how she felt now. It seemed like her heart had just ceased to beat after he had turned around, revealing the girl that was standing beside him. Now, instead of oxygen flowing through her arteries to the rest of the body, her blood cells were carrying miniature daggers. She stared for half a minute more before turning around and darting away.
"Tohru…"
Machi turned around to catch a glimpse of Tohru before the startled girl ran off. Yuki reached out an arm towards Tohru, but she was gone. The pain in her face was worse than a knife cutting into him. From her angle, he was positive that it looked like an affair. He took one look at Machi, muttering a quick apology before running after Tohru. The wind slapped against his face, branches struck against him, and leftover dew drops from the early spring morning slipped off of tree branches and hit him as he tried to get to Tohru. It didn't seem like anyone was on his side today.
"Tohru! Wait! This isn't what it seems like!" Yuki called after her.
She had a good head start ahead of him and almost seemed too far away to catch, but there was no way he'd give up and let her shed unnecessary tears anymore. He took quicker strides, the distance separating them rapidly vanishing. Yuki reached forward, grabbing her wrist and turning her around to face him, but what he was presented with wasn't at all what he expected.
"Tohru-"
SMACK
Tohru's hand collided with his face. Anger along with sadness flashed in her eyes. Tears were streaming down her face like endless rivers. She glared at him with hurt eyes as he clutched his cheek in awe. This feeling that abruptly shot through her body wasn't due to the force by which she had just hit him with. This hurt resided in her heart, and it was indescribable. It was like someone had ripped her heart out, bursting veins, rupturing arteries, crushing her nerves. Her whole body felt as if it were being consumed by fire while someone shredded her heart into tiny shards that pieced and tore at her skin, leaving her burned and bleeding.
"I'm sorry for believing all of your lies," she bitterly spat before running away again.
Yuki stood there, dumbfounded for a minute before following after her. He barely got there in time to see her run into her home. He stared openly past the gates at the closed doors where Tohru had just passed three seconds ago, seeing nothing but the ghostly image of Tohru repeatedly running away from him. Dropping down on the cool dirt ground, he leaned against the brick wall, periodically slamming the back of his head against the stones. Today, he learned not to stop chasing something he wanted to catch, not even for a second, because anything could easily get away in the time it took to blink.
"But… You misunderstood…" he whispered as rain began to fall from the sky.
--
Tohru dashed up to her room, ignoring everyone around her. She dropped onto her bed, trying to cry out all the pain she felt. The fairytale was over. It was time to face reality, time to realize that there was no prince for her. It was overwhelming to realize that she had lost her true love and her best friend at the same time. He was both of those to her and more. He had been the one person she trusted most, the person she loved most, the person she thought would always be there for her, the person she couldn't live without, and now, he was gone.
Tohru shook her head as she shuddered on her bed, "How c-could I believe h-him…? How could I tr-trust him and believe all of his l-lies…? How did I ever let myself l-love him…?" she sobbed into her pillow.
She lifted her head at the sound of her phone ringing. She covered it with her hand, tempted to answer. It was such a natural action to pick up as soon as she saw his name flash across her phone, but this time, she whipped it across her room. She noted one thing before crying again: there was no message left. She curled up into a ball, finding it difficult to breathe. She couldn't even think. Her head was filled to the brim with images of Yuki and the other girl. Some she had seen herself, but others were of her own creation, pictures of a kiss shared and other intimate moments, but at the moment, she couldn't tell which were false and which were true anymore.
Every so often, her mind hurled an image of Yuki and her together, reminding her of what could have been.
There was a limit, a point where a person could no longer handle any more pain, and she was past her mark. She had thrown her heart at him, head over heels in love, but he was sticking pins and needles in it, playing with matches around it, treating it like some voodoo doll. He had in his possession the key to hurting her, and he was using it well. The worst part was, all along, somewhere in the back of her mind, she had known that this was too good to be true. It was just that before, she had been too blind, too numb with the anesthetic known as love, to feel the prick of the careful insertion of pain until now.
This pain hurt more than losing her mom, being kissed by Akito, and the time she had thought she had lost him put together. This time, she knew she had lost him, and it left her wondering what she had done wrong to make him jump into the arms of another woman. She didn't have an answer to that, and thinking about it just seemed to shatter her already tattered heart. The worst wounds were the ones inflicted upon the heart, though not necessarily physical injuries this time, they were just as fatal.
"He doesn't like me… He was just toying with me all along… He already has a pretty girlfriend…"
She jumped when the phone started ringing again.
"Maybe I made a mistake…" she considered, eyeing the ringing device, "No! I'm g-getting caught in his web of lies again… S-So why do I still want him to come back and tell me that it wasn't true… That he still loves me…"
Tohru slowly stood up and walked over to her window, sweeping aside her pink curtains. Tears continued to roll down her face as she stared at the vague form of Yuki just outside the edge of the forest. Unable to handle it any longer, she fled from the window and back onto her bed. Tohru lay there, refusing to cry anymore. No matter how hard the tears fought, she held them back. She wouldn't let this consume her life. She fumbled unhooking the clasp of the bracelet he had given her. Her fingers quivered, letting the jewelry slip through her fingers and tumble off the bed and onto the floor. She stared vacantly at the glimmering gold lying in a small heap on the rose colored rug beside her bed for a moment before burying her face back into her pillows again.
--
Yuki tore out his cell phone and began punching in Tohru's number at once, praying that she'd answer, but he highly doubted that she would. Regardless, he was disappointed when he was greeted by her voice mail. He tried again before dropping it back into his pocket after he reached her answering machine again, lacking any emotion other than sheer agony. He stood up, glancing up at her bedroom window only to see the flutter of her bedroom curtains. Frustrated, he cursed under his breath and smacked his fist against the brick wall.
--
"Onee-chan?"
Tohru heard Kisa's small voice as she stuck her head through the small opening of her door worriedly. Tohru picked her head up at the reference to her and turned her head towards her siblings. Having no willpower to keep her head upright, she let her head drop back down onto her pillow after she saw who it was. She kept her face turned towards the wall to keep them from noticing her blotchy face, but they could see that she had been crying from the wet pillows she had her head upon. She heard her siblings creep into her room, but she didn't acknowledge them as they came to a stop by her bed.
"Are you okay? We heard you crying…"
"I'm fine…" Tohru choked out quietly.
"What's wrong? You can tell us, right?"
Tohru didn't say anything. Kisa plopped down beside Tohru, looking at her with worried eyes as she stoked her older sister's back. Haru kept silent, eyeing the bracelet on the floor intently. He nudged it with his toes, confirming it as the bracelet Tohru had received from Yuki. Shifting his gaze from the piece of jewelry to Tohru's shaking body, he put one and one together, understanding what was wrong. He bent down to pick it up, holding it by its golden clasp. It dangled around between his fingers, the diamonds catching the sunlight and reflecting streams of color around the room.
"Is it about Yuki?" Haru spoke for the first time.
Tohru's eyes widened out of shock. How did he know? Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She flipped over, gazing at the bracelet, surprised. Tohru's hand shot forward, snatching the adornment from his fingers. Her hand locked it tightly within her first which she clenched within her other hand close to her chest. She choked back a sob, but she could feel the tears gathering on the brim of her eyes. Tohru let out a strangled breath, fighting the burning sensation in her eyes.
"Was I right?" Haru continued with a straight face.
Tohru nodded, giving up on keeping it a secret anymore. She looked away from her siblings, hoping she hadn't disappointed them in any way. She was positive that she had been neglecting them the past year, shoving them aside to spend time with Yuki instead. A tremor shot through her body at the thought of him. The tears slipped out of her eyes, and she didn't bother to conceal them. It seemed like they knew everything already, and besides, she wasn't planning on seeing Yuki ever again. Might as well let them see how infatuated she was with Yuki and how badly he had scarred her.
"How did you know…?" she breathed softly.
"About what? Yuki? Or how I knew that Yuki was the one who made you cry?"
"Both…" Tohru decided.
She stared down at the floor, her eyes blank, not letting Haru or Kisa read her expression. Her mouth remained a straight line, but the way she sat and clenched the bracelet gave it all away. Tohru bit her bottom lip, afraid that if there was no physical pain to try and balance out her mental pain, she'd crack. The pain caused from her lip chewing and from digging her nails into her palms hardly compared to the torture being inflicted upon her heart, but it did help her refrain from breaking down into hysterics. Tohru sat forward nervously like she was going to take a hit.
"Hmm… How should I put this…? Yuki used to be a good friend of mine, and you're my sister. It wasn't that hard to figure out… And why did I think he was the one who made you cry? Mainly a guess, but love hurts, Tohru. I know that much," Haru explained.
"Is that true, Onee-chan? What did he do to make you cry?" Kisa asked.
"Nothing… There's no love between us…" Tohru whispered, her voice breaking in the middle.
She couldn't hold the tears back any longer. Tohru flipped over onto her bed, soaking her pillows with new pools of tears. Her hands slid over her face, convulsing with pure dejection. Kisa patted Tohru's back, trying to comfort her. Tohru had felt rejected and unwanted earlier, but the anguish just seemed to double after hearing her own words. It was harder to control the pain now, impossible to keep it just bearable. The thought of him cheating on her had whirled around her head since that morning, but the suspicion that he had never loved her was new, and she was not dealing with it well.
Haru knelt down next to Tohru, pushing for further responses, "What do you mean by that? No love? I'd beg to differ…"
"Lies. It-It was all lies. H-He lied to me…" Tohru wept as she shook her head.
"Talk to us. What do you mean he lied to you?" he urged in a gentle voice.
Haru was determined to straighten this out. Everything she was telling him made no sense at all. Like any other older brother, he didn't want his little sister involved romantically with a man, but it had been easier to accept after he realized Tohru was no longer his baby sister. He'd be the first to admit it took a lot of time for him to get over the overprotective urges to go check on Tohru every time she snuck out. In the end, he finally was willing to regard Tohru and Yuki as a couple. Even though he had always known that sooner or later, Tohru would get back together with Yuki, he couldn't accept their relationship until recently, even though they had almost been married a year ago.
He had almost been glad when they forgot about each other. He probably would have been if not for the loss of the shimmer of happiness from her eyes after Yuki was no longer a conscious part of her life. That's how he had known she had met up with Yuki again. He had seen the return of real joy and excitement flushing in her cheeks as soon as she had returned on Kisa's birthday party. He hadn't really objected to them being together back then, but he didn't want his sister to leave him. Despite how much he wanted to deny it, even he could see that Yuki loved Tohru, and he wasn't going to let her mope around because she thought he didn't.
"He doesn't love me…" she whispered painfully.
Kisa looked at Haru with confused eyes. He gave her the same look back. Tohru just continued to cry, her whole body trembling now.
"Do you still love him?" Kisa murmured.
Tohru could only nod in response. Her heart wrenched around, trying to leap out of her chest. She just wanted her brother and sister to leave already. They were making this more difficult for her. She would have been just fine without being consciously aware of the fact that she still loved him and that he didn't love her. Tohru took in a shallow breath, struggling with her breathing. She squeezed the bracelet tighter, wishing she could somehow make the pain in her heart go away.
"So what do you mean he doesn't love you? Love is tricky, but it only works between two people…" Haru pointed out.
"Then I was blind and mistaken because he already has a girlfriend…" Tohru replied weakly with a sniffle or two in between.
"What are you saying? A girlfriend? Impossible… Are you sure you weren't jumping to conclusions? She might have been a friend," Haru suggested.
"No… I saw them together… They didn't act like brother and sister friendly…"
Kisa bit her lip, full of concern for her older sister. Haru was still convinced that she had been wrong. In his mind, Tohru and Yuki had to be together. They weren't just two sides of a coin, they were more than compatible, more than just soul mates. If anyone had to be together, he was sure it was them. They were almost like one person together, not exactly themselves unless the other was around. There had to be some way to make Tohru see what he saw. She knew Yuki better than he did –and he was sure Yuki even knew Tohru better than he did. She must have seen his eyes a lot more than he did. So it baffled him how she could have seen Yuki practically every day yet never manage to notice the love drenched eyes of his or hear the outright idolatry in his voice.
"Did they kiss or hold hands?"
Tohru shook her head. She pushed herself into a sitting position, wiping away the tears from her face. Her eyes were red and puffy. She had cried more today than she had during the whole past two months, and those months had been the same ones in which she had been harassed by Akito and when Yuki hadn't made any contact with her, leaving her thinking he hated her. She didn't want to cry anymore, even if there was a large pit where her heart used to reside, but she was too numb to feel the gnawing hurt that was slowly eroding her away. Numbness was a good thing, she realized.
"Then how are you so sure?"
"I-I just am…" she responded meekly.
"Have you talked to him? Yuki's not the kinda guy to be two-timing you or anyone for that matter," Haru encouraged her.
"No… I don't want to see him…" she trailed off unsurely.
"Are you sure? Positive that you want to throw this all away?"
She looked at him, opening her mouth to reply, but she didn't know what to say. The decision had seemed so simple earlier. Tohru hadn't thought about that yet. Confusion and pain still lingered over her thoughts. Was she ready to completely leave him? Could she do it when she still loved him completely and wholeheartedly? She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. The problem with stupor was that its anesthetic effects were only temporary. Her heart throbbed vehemently against her ribs, rejecting the idea of never seeing Yuki again. Indecisiveness washed over her, and she didn't know what to do anymore.
"Think about it Tohru. Be careful. Don't make the wrong choice. You already used your second chance."
Her pain was forgotten for a second as she gave him an odd look, "Second chance?"
"Never mind… Just don't do anything rash. Honestly, I think he truly does love you. Why else would he let you stay with him for a week despite all the problems it caused him, and he even helped you come up with an excuse for your disappearance. So just talk to him. Even if it isn't today or tomorrow. True love will wait as long as you need," Haru added.
Haru stood up and tugged at Kisa's arm. She got his soundless message and got up and followed him out of the room even though she was hardly ready to leave. She had barely got in her input. She didn't understand how Haru could let Tohru choose whether she wanted to talk to Yuki again or not when they both knew she'd be miserable without him. They both also knew that anger and sadness weren't known to make one think reasonably. Tohru, at least, felt the latter of the two emotions. She wouldn't be able to think clearly enough to make the right decision and listen to her heart if she was convinced that he didn't love her, though she wasn't known for thinking intelligently in the first place.
"Haru-nii? How did you know that she'll go see Yuki-nii again?" Kisa asked when they were out of Tohru's hearing range.
"I don't exactly, but when I talked to him last time-"
"The last time you yelled at him and basically told him never to see Onee-chan ever again?"
Haru smiled sheepishly and nodded, "It was the only way to get him to listen. Anyways, the last time I talked to him, he wasn't faking at all. Tohru has to have some grasping of that. Her heart will win over her brain's insistences. We both know she won't be strong enough to fight off the urge to see him."
They left Tohru with her thoughts. She sat there, fingering the bracelet, even more confused than before. If he wasn't cheating on her, then she had hurt him for no reason at all, and there was that chance that he was angry at her for lacking trust in him, but if that was the case, why didn't he tell her anything about this friend of his? The only thing left to do was find out for sure, but Tohru wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle the truth. If she misinterpreted him, she'd have more than an apology owed to him, but if he was cheating on her, she wouldn't know what she'd do. She dropped back down on her bed, crying herself to sleep.
--
Yuki trudged inside the large oak doors of his home. At this point, it seemed unreasonable to clear things out with Tohru. She wouldn't listen. He knew her well enough to know that. Maybe if he gave her some time to be alone, she'd relax a bit. His only hope now was that she'd give him a chance to explain himself. If she couldn't manage to even be mad at Akito for what he did to her, then she couldn't hold a grudge against him, right?
As soon as he got inside, his parents were waiting for him.
"What did you do to poor Machi-san?" his mother asked immediately.
"What do you mean?" Yuki asked back curtly.
He wasn't in the mood to confront his mother at the moment. His short meeting with Tohru left him in worse than a foul mood. The last person he wanted to hear about was Machi and his engagement to her when he knew those were the very reasons Tohru hated him at the moment, but those two things just happened to be the only thing his mother wanted to ramble about. He stood as close to the exit of the parlor as he could without actually leaving the room, trying to tacitly let his parents know how desperately he wanted to leave, but they ignored his position.
"Well, a little while ago, Machi-san told us she wanted to break off the engagement, and your cheek is red… So she slapped you… You must have done something terrible to that poor girl, but luckily, I was able to convince her to stay engaged. Isn't that the most extraordinary news you've heard?" his mother smiled, delighted.
"You did what?!" Yuki asked incredulously.
He gingerly raised his fingertips to his face, touching his cheek. It stung madly. Tohru must have been furious. He had always doubted her even having a violent side, never believed she could hurt anything, but he had been wrong after all. He lowered his hand, refusing to show any emotion. His mother raised her eyebrows at him, expecting him to tell her what had happened on his date with Machi, but he kept his mouth firmly closed. It took her a minute to realize he wouldn't elaborate. Her expression darkened, and she shooed him away with a flick of her wrist.
"Well, Machi-chan is waiting to talk to you in your room," his mother added.
"What?" Yuki paused in the middle of his eager step.
"Well of course you two have some wedding plans to discuss," she explained dully, glancing down at her fingernails.
Fuming, Yuki turned to leave without another word. Could his day get any worse? First, Tohru caught him with Machi, accusing him of cheating, then he learned that he hadn't even gotten out of the engagement, and now, his arranged fiancée was up in his room waiting to discuss the wedding with him. He considered not even going to his room and just hiding in a guest room until she left instead, but his dad stood up and ushered him into an empty room before he came to a final decision. Yuki wearily faced his father.
"What do you want?" Yuki questioned in a bitter voice.
"It's about out deal…"
"It's off. I know. She didn't decline apparently." Yuki rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry son… It was worth a shot though…"
Yuki turned around sharply and left. It was pointless to try and get out of this situation again. He just had to face the fact that he was doomed. He swung open the door and walked in his room. Machi sat in a chair, waiting for him. He ignored her, going straight to his closet and pulling out a clean outfit. Without a glance in her direction, he entered his bathroom and locked the door behind him. Yuki threw his fist against the marble top of his sink angrily. He had to let out his fury somehow. He pounded the innocent stone several more times before muttering a curse and bending over to pick up the shirt he had tossed aside a minute ago.
After he changed, he washed the mud and dirt off of his face. He winced as his fingers ran over his cheek. Yuki looked at his reflection. His left cheek was redder than he had anticipated. Tohru must have been deeply wounded by what she had seen. Yuki shook his head, deciding not to think about it for now. There was no need to torture his heart with thoughts of his beloved who detested him more than anything right now, but everything reminded him of her. She had stayed in his room for a week and left enough memories to last him a lifetime. Slowly he dried his face off with a towel and shoved the wet towel and his soiled shirt into the hamper, the thing that had crushed Tohru and made her hurt her head. He slammed it as if that would punish it for its misdeed.
When he finally went back into his room, he found Machi in the same position as before with the same dull expression. She hadn't even moved an inch. He sighed and took a seat in the chair across from her. She didn't say anything. She just kept staring out the window instead of looking across the table at him.
"I'm not going to marry you. What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to make my life the worst you possibly can manage?" Yuki asked slowly, trying his best not to yell.
"I'm not trying to ruin your life," she glared at him, "Your mother made me."
Yuki crossed his arms across his chest, doubting her, "And how did she do that?"
They glowered at each other for a minute, "She said that if I didn't… She'd kill my brother. She already had him exiled…"
Yuki looked honestly shocked to hear that. His wide eyes quickly shifted over from shock to remorse, "I'm sorry… I didn't know… I wasn't aware that she liked to torture people other than me…"
Machi made an unsatisfied sound and shifted her face away from him, going back to staring out the window. All positive thoughts she had of him had vanished as soon as he had accused her of wanting to ruin his life, but his genuine apology had caught her off guard, and it made her think slightly better of him. She'd rather die than let him know that though. Still, she couldn't blame him for yelling at her. If she were him, she probably would have thrown herself out as soon as she saw herself here.
"Well now you do. Forget about it. I'll deal with it. It's practically his fault anyways. He took his practical joke too far… So how did she take it earlier?" Machi asked.
"Terribly. I don't think I've ever seen her angry before… She didn't even want to listen to me. I couldn't get through to her at all…" Yuki answered, disappointedly.
"I'm sorry… I can only imagine what she was thinking…" Machi murmured.
She looked down apologetically. Yuki gave her a halfhearted smile. He could see now that Machi really wasn't as bad as he had made her out to be. She probably would have been someone he could have loved if he wasn't already irrevocably in love with Tohru. His love for Tohru was permanent and everlasting. He could only pray that Tohru's love for him was half as unalterable as his was for her. At least then he could be sure she still cared for him. He knew she loved him. He just couldn't be sure of how deep that love ran, whether he occupied a large portion of her heart or a small corner. The only thing he was positive about was that she was his heart. There was no space of his heart that wasn't filled with her.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to give up on her."
"So why aren't you trying to talk to her?" she demanded.
"Oh… That's because right now, she won't listen to I word I say. I think she needs some time to calm down…" Yuki replied grimly.
Machi slammed her fists against the table, jumping up to her feet. Yuki jolted up, surprised by her sudden boldness. He stared at her with bewildered eyes, baffled by the anger flashing across her face. What on earth had he said to make her so angry? She shook her head disapprovingly, and narrowed her eyes at him, wondering whether he really loved that girl or not. What kind of guy would rather let the girl he supposedly loves suffer unnecessarily instead of clearing things up with her?
"Bad idea! The first thing you should have done was clear things up with her! Now that she's mad, she doesn't want to see you, right? So the more time that passes, the more time she gets used to not being around you. Sooner or later, she won't even need you to love her. When she moves on out of spite, what are you going to do?" Machi questioned.
"Even if I did clarify things with her, I'd only end up disappointing her. I may sound pathetic, but I don't want to confront her until I have some sort of solution. I think it'll hurt her ten times worse if she knew that I do love her but I can't be with her than if she believes I cheated on her," Yuki explained thoughtfully.
Machi was quiet, digesting what he had just said. At least those thoughts of her suffering had even crossed his head. Maybe he did love this Tohru as much as he claimed to. It sounded reasonable enough, but she still didn't think it was the best idea. She stood there for a second before reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a sheet of paper. Carefully she slid it across the table to Yuki and dropped back down into her seat, waiting for him to take the note, but he only stared at it as if it were poison.
"What's this?"
"Your solution. Now go and talk to her," Machi ordered.
Yuki glanced at her before picking it up. Slowly, he unfolded it and read it to himself. It was an address and not one he recognized. He flipped it over and looked at the crudely drawn map on the back. This didn't seem much like a solution. He flipped the paper between his fingers, searching for something he was missing, but no new piece of information stuck out at him nor did any comprehension reach him. Giving up on figuring this out on his own, he held the crinkled piece of paper towards her, deciding to ask.
"What is it?"
"Your new home," she said bluntly.
"What?"
"Your new home. They're not going to let you two be together here obviously. The only solution is to run away. That's where you can stay," she shyly responded.
Glancing down at the chicken scratches on the back that was supposed to be a map, Yuki tried to get a relative idea of where this place may be, but nothing came to mind. He traveled enough to be familiar with most of the country, but the wavy line from the little box labeled 'start' to the black 'x' labeled 'finish' was alien to him. This map wouldn't be much help either since the line he was supposed to follow wasn't even continuous. It had a gap about an inch long directly in the middle, and the landmarks drawn didn't look like they'd be beneficial either. Somehow, he got the feeling that a big rock next to a small tree wouldn't help him determine where this new home of his would be. His only clue would be the address. The destination might as well be on another planet. He'd probably have a better chance of locating it if it were.
"I don't know what to say…" Yuki muttered.
"Don't say anything! Just go see her already!" Machi urged.
"It's nighttime. She'll be sleeping," Yuki whispered.
"Even better. You said she won't listen so it's your perfect opportunity now!" Machi encouraged.
Yuki laughed lightly as he got to his feet. She seemed more determined for him to fix this situation with Tohru than he did, but that was possibly due to the fact that she didn't seem to have any doubts in his ability to make up with Tohru while he had just over a hundred. Tohru hardly seemed like it, but she was more stubborn than he was. Once she was convinced of something, it was extremely difficult to change her mind, and right now, the scene with him and Machi had persuaded her that he had been cheating on her.
"How can I repay you?" Yuki asked.
"How about making things up with her? Besides, this was mostly the work of your brother, not me," Machi added.
"I see… I should go thank him then…" Yuki mused as he stood up.
"You should go see her! Thank him later!" she exclaimed.
Machi hopped back to her feet, blocking him from even taking a step near the door, and shoved Yuki towards the window. Yuki shook his head with a small smile as he placed his hand on the window frame, stopping himself from falling through the glass and cracking his skull open. He turned around to give her a farewell, but she just pointed back to the window. Yuki partly rolled his eyes, but he obediently climbed halfway out the window, pausing to thank her again.
"Thanks… I really appreciate it…"
He smiled again before climbing downwards. Questions started bombarding him before his feet even made contact with the grass. What was he going to say first? He knew he didn't want to start with 'I'm sorry' since that made it sound like he did do something wrong. He was leaning towards starting with reminding her that he did love her. He could catch her by surprise and use her pause to his advantage. Those thoughts were forgotten as soon as his subconscious reminded him he wasn't sure what he would do once he got to her home. He doubted Tohru would appreciate him breaking into her room again, but what other choice did he have? She wouldn't open the window for him if he knocked. He sighed hopelessly as he continued running.
--
Tohru lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Part of her wanted to run to where Yuki was, but the other half wanted to keep away from him. This day had been a roller coaster for her, and it left her torn. Right now, the ride just continued to spiral downwards, and she couldn't sleep anymore. With a toss of her legs, she was up. She glanced at her cell phone which lay on top of her nightstand. She hadn't received another call from him since that afternoon when she hadn't been in the mood to talk to him. Tohru wanted to speak with him –well at least a part of her did- but didn't want to be the one to call.
"Mom… What should I do?" she whispered as she stood up.
She started to make her way over to the window for some fresh air, but she never made it there. Along the way, she bumped into her nightstand clumsily and dropped to the ground. Tohru sat there, rubbing her knee. She frowned, ready to cry, not out of physical pain, but at the throb in her chest.
She was alone.
No one was here to catch her when she fell or to help her up. Now, she realized how much he had been helping her. Without him, she felt so helpless. She didn't just want him, she needed him as much as she needed to breathe. Tohru swiped at the tears that were began to slide out of her eyes.
Tohru felt someone grab her wrists and pull her off the ground. Her eyes doubled in size at the sight of Yuki. Feeling her legs turn into pure jelly, Tohru wobbled unsteadily. She probably would have fallen back over if not for Yuki who still had his hands wrapped around her wrists. Tohru was much too shocked to see him here to say or do anything other than stare. She was tempted to reach out her hands and touch him to see if he was just a figment of her imagination after all, but his voice broke her out of her trance before she did something humiliating.
"Hey…" he greeted lightly.
Her heart fluttered at the smooth sound of his voice, betraying her. How could he still make her stomach do back flips like that or make her heart race so when she was furious with him?
"W-what are you doing here- How did you get in here?! W-why are y-you here…?" Tohru asked.
She pulled her hands out of his, daring to let her shaky legs support her. Yuki kept his hands out towards her, ready to catch her if her legs gave in and as an invitation for her to come back to him, but neither happened. Seeing her begin to inch away from him, he lowered his arms, wanting her to feel at ease. She remained tense, continuing to shy away from him a bit. Tears were dripping down her face, but she made no move to dry them. She kept her arms wrapped around her abdomen as if she were in physical pain. Yuki winced. He couldn't take the hurt look across her face. Placing his hands around her trembling shoulders, he stooped down slightly to see her lowered eyes.
"Why…? Because I love you," he answered, looking directly into her eyes.
Tohru shook her head, backing away from him, responding in a hurt voice, "N-no you don't. T-that's w-why you w-were with an-another woman."
Yuki reached out to pull her back towards him, but she shrank away from him before he could touch her.
"I don't want you here anymore… G-get out, p-please… Y-you don't l-love me… I don't want to see you anymore…" Tohru whispered in a voice barely audible to Yuki.
She placed both her hands on his chest, shoving him away from her with as much force as she could conjure up –which wasn't very much. Yuki grabbed her hands, restraining her from her withdrawal. He held her there gently, not budging an inch despite her attempts to break free. He tugged her closer to him, lulling her protests. It sickened her to feel how secure and comfortable she still felt in her arms despite the angry thoughts racing through her head. She choked on a sob, trying to shove the lump lodged in her throat back down.
"Tohru, don't jump to conclusions, please. How many times do I have to tell you I love you until you believe me?"
Tohru looked away, still using all of her body weight to try to break out of his hold, but he still kept her there. He was stronger, a lot stronger than her, a lot stronger than Akito had been, but unlike Akito, he didn't make her wrists hurt at all. She froze and stopped struggling, glancing at him with wide terrified eyes. Just the passing thought about Akito was enough to frighten her. Her eyes instantly started watering, and Yuki immediately released her when he heard her sniffle. He moved his hands to her cheeks, kneeling down to gauge to expression across her downcast face.
"I'm sorry, Tohru… Are you okay? I shouldn't have been so rough… Forgive me?" Yuki apologized frantically.
She glanced up at him before slipping away from him and jumping back onto her bed, burying her face against a pillow. Tohru didn't want him to see the reluctance to make him leave in her eyes. She didn't doubt her love for him one bit. She knew she loved him completely. It was his love she wasn't so sure about. He wasn't like Akito one bit though, not from the way he held her or from the way he apologized. Tohru couldn't help but trust him or love him, but a part of her kept rejecting him, constantly replaying the image of him with Machi in her head.
"N-No! I-I'm not okay! I'm not okay… I'm h-hurt and sad… I'm e-even mad at you… Who is she?" Tohru choked out between her tears, turning her head in his direction.
Yuki hesitantly walked over to her and dropped down before her, daring to lift his hand and sweep her hair from her face. He paused, staring in her eyes before speaking. Tohru held her breath, forcing herself to keep her eyes locked with his and her sobbing down to a minimal so she could hear what he was going to say.
"I'm going to tell you straight out. Her name is Machi, and she's supposed to be my fiancée," Yuki confessed.
She looked up at him with teary eyes, not quite understanding what he was trying to say. Her bottom lip quivered, and she could hardly see him anymore through her thick veil of tears. That hardly sounded better than him cheating on her, and yet, he didn't sound very apologetic. He laced his fingers through hers, making her jolt the slightest bit. She wanted to withdraw her hand, but she couldn't. She frowned, reminding him that she was still angry with him and hardly wanted to hold hands, but he paid no mind to her expression, or at least, he didn't let her know how much that sullen look bothered him.
Yuki continued, "My father made a deal with me. If I got her to back out of the engagement, I wouldn't have to marry her."
"So… So you d-didn't want to m-marry her?" she asked quietly.
He paused, slipping his hands out of hers momentarily. He ran his thumb across her lips with a strange expression that she didn't understand. He frowned, both of his hands now on her cheeks, "You have no faith in me whatsoever, do you?"
Tohru flinched, shocked to hear that stated aloud. Her cheeks darkened a bit as she dropped her head to keep him from reading the response in her eyes as if he couldn't read her body movement. She turned away from him, pretending to be interested in the design of her wallpaper. Yuki's hand wrapped around her shoulder, gently flipping her back over to face him. Tohru bit her lip, worried about what he would say. She did love him, but she found it hard to believe that someone like her would be enough for someone like him.
"No, of course not. There's only one person I want to marry… And that's you."
Her face flared bright red. She sank her head back down, hiding her face under her pillow. Yuki chuckled slightly as he lifted the pillow off her head. His hands lingered in the air, about to brush the hair from her face, but froze when he noticed the bracelet he had given to her on his birthday lying on the corner of her bed, about to slide off and land somewhere under her bed. He picked it up and pried open one of her fists, placing the jewelry in her palm. Her fingers shut around the cold metal, embarrassed to have him find it lying carelessly in her room.
"Besides, it was an arranged marriage," Yuki went on without hesitation.
Tohru smiled faintly, blinking away her tears as she lifted her head. She used her arm to dry her face. Tohru squirmed over to him and threw her arms around her neck, clinging to him tightly with the bracelet still enclosed safely within one of her hands.
"I'm glad…" She whispered faintly, "So are you free of the marriage?"
"Not quite… She ended up deciding she wanted to marry me after all," Yuki muttered.
Tohru tensed, pressing herself more closely against him in an almost possessive manner. He chuckled slightly at the way she was acting. It was interesting to see his too-nice-for-her-own-good Tohru jealous. Yuki leaned forward, pulling her out of her tummy down position into a kneeling one by tugging on her thighs. He settled back into her arms after slipping her feet out from under her and leaving her sitting on the bed, sure that this embrace was more comfortable for her than having her hug him while lying on her belly. Tohru's arms never left his neck.
"Don't be mad at her... It's my mother's fault. She threatened to kill her brother…" Yuki explained.
"Oh… I'm sorry…" Tohru mumbled.
"Again, you're apologizing for something you had no part in," Yuki chuckled before becoming grave again, "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
After nodding, Tohru paused for a second, now clutching his neck tightly enough to strangle him as she spoke, "Yuki-kun, do you remember the time I was crying from my nightmares?"
Yuki wrapped his hands around hers, loosening them a bit so he could speak, "Yes, why?"
"I'm ready to tell you why I was crying… Even though I knew about him… I just pushed him to the back of my mind, hoping he would disappear, and he did. In a way. He disappeared from my head… I think I made myself forget about him… But then he came back… He's supposed to be my future husband…" Tohru confessed weakly.
He could feel her trembling as she spoke of him. Yuki wrapped his arms around her back, dragging her off the bed. He cradled her in his arms, letting her sit on his lap. She clenched the hem of his shirt tightly, terrified again. He held her closer, planting a kiss on the top of her head after he dug the bracelet out from her hands and clasped it around her wrist. Feeling better, Tohru smiled, straightening up in his arms. She locked her legs and arms tightly around his chest. She had expected him to take that badly, but he didn't seem the least bit bothered by it, which made her feel worse about how she had reacted to seeing him with Machi.
"I think you're the one for me…" she murmured.
"How silly…" he mused.
"Wh-what?"
Her heart froze. She panicked, releasing him instantly. She jumped off of him a bit too quickly for her grace. Tohru tumbled onto the ground, fumbling to get off of his lap. She stared at his innocent face which was cocked to the side with confusion.
He grinned, "I know you're the one for me."
Tohru made an attempt to scowl at him to let him know how pleased she had been by his teasing, but she couldn't help but beam out of relief –not that she was capable of glowering at anyone. Yuki chuckled as he drew her back into his arms. Snuggling against his chest, she locked her arms around his shoulders. She stared around her darkened room, suddenly grateful that she hadn't gotten around to tossing out everything he had given her. She smiled and pecked his cheek, thankful that she had him. Tohru had no idea what she'd do without him. She knew she only had a limited amount of time with him left. It would only be a matter of time before she had to go marry Akito and he'd have to go marry Machi.
"What are we going to do?" she could barely say.
"… Tohru, do you love me?" he asked softly.
"Yes… Do you have to ask?"
He ignored her question, "Do you want to be with me forever, like I want to be with you?"
"Of course… But why are you asking?" she broke her hold on him, pulling back to look him in the eye. She couldn't follow where he was going with these questions. Confused, she blinked and tilted her head to the side. She placed the tip of her forefinger on her bottom lip, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. He smiled at her frustrated expression, smoothening the wrinkles on her forehead with a quick kiss, and then he lowered his eyes to hers seriously.
"I know this may sound rash, and you might not be ready, but I've given this a lot of thought. I know it sounds a bit unreasonable, but… Will you run away with me?" he asked her.
She could only peer up at him. His request had come to be a complete surprise to her. Tohru wasn't prepared for this question or even his arrival. All she could say was, "What?"
"It's the only way for us to be together… Please? Nobody here will support our relationship… Well maybe a few, but it won't make much of a difference. So will you come with me to somewhere far away where we don't have to sneak out and hide to be together?" he responded calmly.
She bit her lip, trying to think through their situation carefully. Her heart was fluttering excitedly, obviously agreeing with his plan. Sure, she'd love to be able to be with him without worrying about keeping it from everybody, but she didn't want to leave her brother and sister. Besides, there were so many things that could go wrong. A guard from either of their homes could stumble upon them, or they might run across some violent bandits… But it was hard to think of bad case scenarios when her heart was dwelling upon the chance of seeing Yuki more often.
"What do we have left to lose?" he muttered.
"Our lives!" Tohru squeaked.
"My life is nothing without you."
Tohru fought back a blush, wanting to continue to think clearly.
"B-but where will we go?"
Yuki didn't say anything. He shifted her over to the ground next to him, and reached into his pocket. Tohru sat cross-legged next to him, leaning over to look at the piece of paper he now had in his hands. He unfolded it, handing it to her. Tohru squinted in the dark to read it, using the moon as her light source. She could see an unfamiliar address printed across one side and an assembly of scribbles on the other. Tohru reread the address again but wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Where is this?"
"I'm not so sure. My brother found it…" Yuki replied honestly.
"But if you're not positive, then isn't it risky?"
"Tohru, you have to understand that I can't spend the rest of my life without you. I can hardly last a day away from you. I need you. Even if the chance is slim, I'll take the risks. I want to be with you. Sooner or later, you know, someone will find out about us, and we'll be forced away anyways. We might as well try this, and even if we are caught, at least, we would have had that time together, am I right? Can you take this chance with me? Please?" he asked determinedly.
"If it means I can stay with you, then I'll do it… I'll do anything if you're there with me," she barely whispered.
"Good. I wasn't too fond of the idea of kidnapping you…"
"Yuki!" she squealed in a half whisper,
She burrowed her face against his sleeve embarrassedly. He laughed as he stroked the top of her head, crushing her to the side of his chest. She was sure her whole body was flushing at the moment. She felt like she had a fever due to the rush of blood. Thankfully, the darkness hid the red shade of her skin well. She timidly peeked up at him, but shifted her eyes down at the floor when she found him staring back at her. Feeling him shake with laughter, Tohru squished her eyes shut, but regardless of how humiliated she was, she couldn't help but smile with him. She had missed this simple rush of joy she got when she was with him.
"I guess I'll leave you alone now… But get ready. I'll be back for you tomorrow," he told her when the hysteria passed.
"Tomorrow?" she asked in a startled voice.
He nodded in response as he stood up.
"The sooner the better. Besides, I can't wait to be together," he smiled softly, "Imagine what it'll be like to be able to walk through towns together without having to worry about someone seeing us!"
She blushed again. Maybe this wasn't the best choice, but it was definitely better than being apart. She wouldn't last very long without him. Tohru had known that, even when she thought he didn't love her. Yet, somehow all her anger and pain disappeared in the short amount of time that he had been here. Tohru couldn't even remember how it felt to be upset with him. It was just so much more natural to love him and feel warmth radiate through her body when she thought of him. Being angry with him and having tears bubble down her cheeks when someone mentioned his name felt more like a dream than something she had actually done.
"I'll be ready," she whispered to him.
He leaned towards her and pressed his lips to her cheek. He kept them there for a minute –long enough for his lips to feel the warmth of her flushed face- before muttering against her skin, "Don't bring too much. Just what you need…"
"Okay…"
He pulled away and smiled at her. Tohru beamed at him and tossed her arms around his neck, stretching her neck towards him to give him a kiss, but she gasped when she noticed his bruised cheek. She released him, her hands immediately moving to his injured cheek, dancing around his face worriedly. The fact that she had hit him was brutally shoved back into her head. She had forgotten all about that. She gingerly ran her fingers over the bruise, wincing as if she had been the one struck.
"I h-hit you… I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" Tohru squeaked.
"Kiss it better."
"W-what?" Tohru breathed.
"You heard me, Tohru."
Tohru looked down for a brief moment before looking up at his face. His eyes followed her every move, glossed over with complete solemnity, hiding the humor deep within. She moved her hands off his face and leaned towards him ever so slowly and carefully placed her lips on the bruise. He chuckled after she timidly pulled away, both equally shocked that she had actually followed through with his request. Tohru stole a glance up at his beaming face, but she still felt guilty about the injury she had inflicted upon him. Even if he didn't seem to be bothered by it, she was.
"I was only kidding, but it's all better now," He grinned.
"No it's not… It's still bruised… I'm so sorry…" Tohru whispered.
"So, what do you want me to do about it? I can't very well make it go away, but Tohru, I don't blame you for it. Can you understand that?"
"B-but… I st-still hit y-you…" Tohru whimpered.
"No more arguing, and go to sleep. You'll need your energy tomorrow," he pointed out.
Tohru scrunched her face up in disagreement, but she didn't protest vocally. She didn't make a move towards her bed either. He stared at her, gesturing towards her bed with a tilt of his head, but she shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest. Yuki groaned as he lifted her up, not particularly bothered by the fact that he had to carry her to her bed but by her refusal to rest. He set her down gently on the pink bed and started to pull away, but her arms locked him in place beside her bed.
"Wait! D-don't leave me yet," Tohru pleaded.
"Tohru, I'm not leaving you, ever. I have to go home, but I'll be back. I love you. Don't worry about that," Yuki smiled.
Tohru flushed, "That's n-not what I m-meant!"
Yuki laughed, "I know. I just wanted to remind you for the miniscule chance that you might believe me this time."
She clenched her teeth together, choosing not to respond to his comments. It was difficult, unbelievably difficult to be able to grasp the fact that someone who could clearly have any girl he wanted didn't want anyone but her, just some regular ordinary girl. She couldn't tell him that. Nope. It'd just hurt his feelings, and she was sure she'd done enough of that already with her slapping and lack of trust. Tohru clung to him, laying her cheek on top of his shoulder. She could feel his face rest on her neck, and for the briefest moment, his lips made contact with the skin above her collarbone.
"I love you, Yuki-kun…"
"I love you too… Ready to sleep now?" he questioned, slipping out of her arms despite her attempts to pull him back.
Tohru shook her head determinedly. He sighed. Yuki glanced up at her eyes for a second before suddenly sweeping his arms under her legs and shifting her out of her kneeling position and made her lie down on her back. He had her blanket covering her before she could blink. Yuki sat down on the edge of her bed, keeping one hand on her shoulder to keep her from squirming back up. She pouted at him, but he only smiled in return. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead after whispering, "Goodnight Tohru…"
Tohru latched her hands around his arm before he could even retreat, "Don't go yet, please?" Tohru begged.
"Tohru, be reasonable… You need your rest," Yuki reminded her.
"I don't care about rest! I-I just want to see you…" Tohru admitted shyly.
"Tohru, you are seeing me, right now," Yuki pointed out.
"B-but I'm not ready for you to go," Tohru insisted.
She didn't want him to leave her alone for even a second anymore. She wasn't sure if she could handle it without breaking down. Tohru tightened her hold around his arm, already feeling the tears struggle to her eyes. Yuki sat back down on her bed with a sigh, wrapping his free arm around her back. He could feel her relax slightly as he quietly stroked her hair until she turned her face towards him. Yuki smiled at her before kissing the tip of her nose. Her fingers drifted over her face, releasing him. He could have taken this chance to go, but he didn't want to leave her until he was positive that she would be fine without him at her side.
"Believe me, I'll be back, I'm not breaking up with you, I love you, and I would never even dream about seeing any other girl but you. You know that, right?" Yuki murmured to her.
Tohru slowly lowered her hands from her face and nodded. He carefully eased his arms off of her shoulders, but she caught the tips of his fingers with hers. She squeezed them tightly in his, still not ready for him to leave. She didn't dare to check what kind of expression was sprawled across his face, so she kept her eyes glued on his fingers which were starting to turn slightly purple. Tohru quickly peered up at his face to make sure he wasn't in any pain before letting go of his hand, replacing it with her blanket which was in no danger of having its blood supply cut off.
Yuki smiled and patted her head, "Good because I'm not sure how else I can convince you of that."
"Then why do you want to leave so quickly?" Tohru mused out loud.
"Because it'd be awfully suspicious if you woke up in the middle of the afternoon because I kept you up all night," Yuki responded.
"Does it matter? Yuki-kun, aren't we leaving tomorrow?"
"Not if someone figures out that we're together before tomorrow night which means you have to sleep and wake up when you usually do," Yuki reminded her.
Tohru stared idly at a loose thread in his shirt, wanting to prolong the moment as long as she could. It was past midnight, way past her usual bedtime, but she didn't care. She wasn't even tired, but he did have a point there. Giving in, Tohru looked up at him and smiled for a second before meeting his lips with her own. He seemed shocked at first, but it didn't take long for his fingers to wind themselves into her long brown hair, getting tangled in the silky trap. Their lips danced with one another for a minute before she pulled away, out of breath.
"Okay… You can go now…" she breathed.
"But I don't want to now…" he muttered.
She let him kiss her again, and she happily returned his kisses, locking her arms around his neck, for another few minutes before she tried to pull back again. She got nowhere for a while, though the kisses weren't necessarily unwanted. Tohru wasn't even sure he could feel her attempts to end the kiss, though by now, she wasn't sure she even wanted to end it anymore. Eventually, the need for oxygen won over, and it was over, leaving both of them breathless. She smiled at him, beaming as he bent over to give her another kiss on the forehead.
"You should go now…" Tohru breathed.
"Yes ma'am."
Giggling, she pecked his check, "See you tomorrow."
"Sleep well, princess," Yuki whispered.
After a quick embrace, he snuck out her window silently, but tomorrow night, she'd be the one slipping out that window, and instead of separating, they'd be meeting one another. Hopefully…
