Chapter 26: Mr Candle Cares

[Episode begins inside Echo Creek Academy, at the Guidance Counselor's office]

Oskar Greason: Mr. Candle said I'm gonna be a musician.

Chet: Sweet. I got champion swimmer. I was gonna get dressed, but now I don't need to.

Marco: Wow. Everyone's getting really awesome careers.

Star: I can't wait to find out what my future holds. [nervous laughter] What about you Comet? Aren't you excited about your future?

Comet: Huh? Oh, uh. No, I... haven't thought about my future yet.

Star: Well, I'm excited! I bet my future is gonna be awesome!

Comet: Do you even know what your future is?

Star: No, but that guy in there does! And I'm gonna find out! [walks inside]

Mr. Candle: Star Butterfly. Please sit.

Star: Okay

Candle: Help yourself to some candy.

Star: No, thank you. I'm just really excited to have my fortune told. How do you do it? Read palms? Converse with the dead? Examine head lumps?

Candle: Nope. Just normal guidance counselor stuff. Have you given much thought to your future?

Star: Totally. When I grow up, I wanna raise warnicorns [spawns a warnicorn]

Candle: Well, that seems like a fun hobby but you might not have much time for hobbies as the queen of Mewni.

Star: [warnicorn neighs] Queen?

Candle: I may not know your fortune, but your future is set in stone.

Star: Stone?

Candle: Are you dating anyone?

Star: What? Uh, no.

Candle: What about that Marco boy? Got a secret crush on him?

Star: He's my roommate. We're just friends.

Candle: Yeah, that's weird to date your roommate. Maybe someone else then. It's never too early to start searching for the future king of Mewni.

Star: Maybe

Candle: Cheer up Star. Or should I say, Your Majesty?

Star: Hmm.

[Star leaves the counseling office]

Marco: So how'd it go? [Star walks by him] Or we can catch up later.

[Marco is now in the counseling office.]

Candle: Mr. Diaz. I've been very anxious to speak to you.

Marco: Seen my test scores, have you?

Candle: Indeed.

[Sometime later]

Marco: Garbage Island⁈ What's the use of taking honors classes if it gets you sent to the middle of nowhere?

Star: So don't go. At least you have a choice. Apparently, the only thing in my future is being queen.

Comet: Wait. Candle told you that you were going to be queen of Mewni?

Star: Yeah! He said my future is 'set in stone'.

Marco: Oh, man, I'd love to be queen. You never have to think about what to wear; you have somebody do that for you.

Star: [groans]

Marco: People would just love you because they have to, no matter how weird you are.

Star: [groans]

Marco: You never have to bathe alone.

Comet: Can we possibly skip to the part where you were supposed to be helping?

[Mr. Candle visits the men's restroom]

Marco: Head janitor, Garbage Island.

Star: [sighs]

[Marco enters the restroom and hears a plopping sound]

Marco: I'll come back later.

[A fiery explosion in one of the stalls causes Marco to investigate. He finds that it's caused by Candle dumping some mysterious substance into the toilets.]

Candle: All right sir, phase one is complete. What's next? Sir, are you there?

[Tom's face appears in the toilet's water]

Tom: You idiot! You forgot the most important part. Me!

Candle:I got confirmation. Starco is completely platonic.

Marco: Starco?

Tom: Make sure there's no possibility of them ever being a thing.

Candle: Absolutely, sir.

Tom: Also, stop offering everyone candy. You're gonna blow my cover. I want her back.

Candle: I gotta go.

Tom: I'm not done.

Candle: No. You don't understand. [puts his hands over his pants] I gotta go.

Tom: Flush me first.

[Later, Mr. Candle enters his office whistling]

Marco: Hey Mr. Candle.

Candle: [startled] Oh, hello Marco.

Marco: I appreciate all your guidance with Garbage Island and all, but I'm gonna pass [throws Garbage Island flyer into trashcan, misses]. Actually, I was just thinking I might be king of Mewni.

Candle: [spluttering his drink] What⁈

Marco: The thing is, Star and I have recently become smooch buddies. On the lips.

Candle: Even if that's true kid, you shouldn't say that out loud.

Marco: Yeah, we've been trying all styles. German, Italian, Polynesian. My tongue is so tired, I can't feel my teeth.

[The cat-shaped candy bold explodes into a pillar of flame, revealing Tom.]

Tom: [ferocious growl]

Marco: Busted. I knew you weren't a guidance counselor.

[Tom grabs Marco by the collar. At the Diaz's house, Star reads a magazine about being a queen.]

Comet: Chin up, Star. You get to be your own queen when you grow up.

Star: But mom doesn't want me be my own queen! She wants to be all the other queens! Look! These women look so miserable. [sighs heavily, goes to her mirror]

Comet: At least you got your future set up...

Mirror: Calling Mom

Queen Butterfly: What did you do?

Comet: Surprisingly, she didn't do anything. Yet.

Star: I'd like to ask you something. Are you happy?

Queen: Happy? What difference does that make?

Star: I mean, I don't know. Do you have any warnicorns?

Queen: Goffrey, do I have any warnicorns?

Goffrey: You have 19, Your Majesty.

Queen: Oh. Apparently I have 19.

Star: Oh, sweet.

Queen: But when you are queen, you don't have time for warnicorns.

Star: Oh.

Queen: Everything I'm saying is in your guide book. Incidentally, you may want to review the chapter on hair care.

Star: [brushes her hair sadly]

Queen: If you're going to be queen, you have to look the part. Don't worry so much about happiness. It makes you look pale. Love you. Bye.

Comet: Wait!

Queen: Yes, Comet?

Comet: Uh. I was wondering if there was more for me to do.

Queen: More? Whatever do you mean?

Comet: Well, you put me on this dimension to look after Star and well... she's gonna be Queen one day. But what about me? What's left for me to do. I just know I'm destined for more.

Queen: Oh, Comet. Of course you were meant for more. You have excellent fighting skills and quite the cunning. You'll find a great place in kingdom one day.

Comet: Well, yeah...

Queen: Something wrong, son?

Comet: Uh, nothing.. Bye. [Comet hangs up and looks at Star who was shaving her hair] Uh, Star? What are you doing?

Star: Changing my destiny... [puts on lipstick]

[The scene switches back to Marco, now in Tom's lair. He is being vertically spun on some kind of torture device.]

Marco: Stop! I knew you were listening. I never made out with Star.

Tom: [snaps; the wheel stops spinning]

Marco: I just said that to get your goat.

Skull on wall: what?

Tom: You lied to me.

Marco: Well, you lied to Star. You made her think all she's good for is being queen.

[Tom frowns and walks away from Marco]

Marco: Dude, just take me home.

[Tom snaps again, which releases Marco in to a tub of water.]

Tom: I can't do that; you know too much. Now I gotta destroy you.

Marco: What⁈ That's not fair.

Tom: All right, fine. Battle to the death. I win, you die.

Marco: What do I get if I win?

Tom: [laughs] It's not gonna happen. So, yeah, ask for whatever you want.

Marco: If I win, you gotta take me home, and you gotta tell Star the truth.

Tom: Fine. Pick your weapon. Dueling battle axes? Rhino fiend joust? Pear grenades of anguish?

[A pear shrieks and explodes.]

Marco: [pointing elsewhere] What about ping-pong?

Tom: [shrugs] That's cool.

Small-headed demon: [holds out a basket full of paddles] Your weapon of choice, my liege.

Marco: I oughta warn you, I'm not only a karate master, I'm also good at ball sports.

[Marco serves the ball to Tom, who smacks it so hard that it breaks Marco's paddle and injuries his hand.]

Marco: Ow!

Demon: Point, Master Tom.

Marco: [grabs another paddle] Okay, so I'm a little rusty. Wait till you... hi-yah!

[Marco surprise serves the ball, Tom smacks it and once again breaks Marco's paddle.]

Marco: Owww!

[Scene switches back to Star. She tears a poster of a queen off the wall, puts on eye liner, lipstick, skull stickers, spiked arm bracelets. She also intentionally tears her pants and grabs a battle axe.]

[Scene returns to Marco's ping-pong game.]

Demon: Game point.

[Tom serves the ball rather slowly]

Marco:[swinging furiously] In your face!

[Tom easily bounces the ball back, and it smacks Marco in the forehead.]

Marco: Ow! Ugh! Since when do ping-pong balls hurt so much?

Tom: These balls are guided by demons.

Marco: Okay. Let's play for real this time. Double or nothing.

Small-headed demon: Dude, you're out of paddles, just give up.

Tom: No, it's fine. Here, you can have mine [throws it at Marco]

Marco: Ugh!

Tom: I don't need it [levitates ball with finger]

[Marco ducks as the ball barely misses his head and cause a huge dent in an arcade machine.]

Marco: Hey! Isn't this kind of cheating?

Tom: You think this is cheating? You should try playing Star at ping-pong.

Marco: Well, Star doesn't really cheat, she just makes up her own rules.

Tom: And then she changes the rules again halfway through the game.

Marco: Oh, so that's why I never win.

Tom: She just does whatever she wants.

Marco: Yeah, that's Star.

Tom: Yeah. She is kinda awesome. [brief silence] You know you're never gonna win, right?

Marco: I know, but you're not either. It doesn't matter if you beat me at ping-pong or pull out all my organs. You can't make Star be your girlfriend unless she wants to.

[Scene cuts to Comet walking upstairs to his training room. Comet takes a deep breath, and focuses his energy on the punching bag and he started to glow. His fist started engulf in a flame then began reagch back to punch but the surge of power stops once he hits the bag. He groans and tries again]

Comet: Come on, Comet! You can do this! [Closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on the bag and then his fist started to glow again and as he was concentrating; thoughts] You can do this, Comet. Do it for you family, for Star... [His eyes began to glow bright blue then he punched the sandbag so powerfully it crashed through the wall. Star heard this and began to become concerned]

Star: Comet? [She runs upstairs to Comet] Bro, are you okay?

Comet: Uh, I'm fine Star... Guh! [Comet is surprised to see Star in a completely new look. Her hair was half-shaved and dyed purple, she wore a black shirt and light purple and blue leggings. She also wore purple spiked armband on her right hand and a long sleeved fingerless glove on the left.] Uh... Are you okay?

Star: Yeah! I've thought I try out a new look. Doesn't look so queenly, right?

Comet: Well, it's one way of putting it.

Star: Don't change the subject. Are you trying your powers again?

Comet: Uh, no. W-W-What makes you say that? [Star points to the sandbag shaped hole Comet made] Ah...

Star: Care to elaborate?

Comet: Well, I thought I might you know prepare...

Star: Prepare for what? You don't have to become queen! You don't have to worry about your future. You don't even know what it is!

Comet: [sighs] Yeah, and that's what worries me... There's gotta be more after this... I mean, you're gonna be queen, you're gonna have a king, then you'll have a princess or a prince of her own.

Star: Uh, wrong! Because that's never gonna happen!

Comet: I know. But where does that leave me? I got these strange powers I don't know about, and I know I can't always be here to for you all my life. You're becoming more independant every day. I never wondered what my future would look like. How am I supposed to plan for it at this point if don't even know what's happening to me now? [sighs]

Star: Wow. That's deep.

Comet: You have no idea.

Star: Look bro. We're both a little worried about our future since we don't know what lies ahead. But I know one thing. Whatever happens, we'll still have each other. Even if I become a boring queen. Which is never gonna happen! I'll make sure of it! Promise to me that no matter what happens. We'll face it together.

Comet: Okay. I promise.

Star: [Held out her pinkie] Pinkie promise?

Comet: [sighs] Okay. [Locks pinkies with Star] Pinkie promise.

[Just then, A torrent of flame delivers Marco back.]

Marco: Star, I have something to tell... [Marco notices Star's new punk appearance] Whoa.

Star: Oh hey Marco. Did you know that if you cut off a mermaid's tail, you can never be queen? It's all in the guide book.

Marco: Star, you don't have to do that.

Star: Oh, thank goodness. I'm so sorry Tiffany; I never wanted to hurt you.

Marco: Shameful [Tom walks in].

Twins: Tom!?

Star: What's going on?

Tom: I have something I need to confess. I used Mr. Candle to try to get back together with you, and it took me destroying Marco 58 games to zero to realize I was wrong. Like, I slaughtered him. I mean, beating him was so easy.

Comet: I know, right. [Star nudges Comet] Oh!

Marco: Okay, she gets it.

Tom: All I wanted was to get you back, but I never stopped to consider what you wanted. I'm sorry.

[Star smile and punches Tom aggressively in the chest.]

Tom: Ow!

Star: You tricked me, but it doesn't even make a difference. I'm still gonna be queen.

Marco: Yeah, but that doesn't sound like a bad thing because you're gonna run Mewni your way, no matter how destructive.

Comet: He's right about that.

Star: Yeah, that's true.

Marco: But what about you, Comet? You're still gonna be there for Star?

Comet: Well, someone's gotta keep this girl from burning the kingdom down. [Star smiles at her brother and throws the guide book away and creates another warnicorn, hugs Marco.]

Demon: Point, Marco.

Tom: [Sadly] Well, I should go. by the way, I like your hair.

[Star smiles, Tom levitates himself back in to the elevator, descending down to the underworld.]

Star: So you guys were hangin' out?

Marco: Uh, yup.

Star: Is he still dark and broody?

Marco: Oh yeah, but he's not so bad.

[Scene changes back to the counseling office]

Candle: No Brittany, I don't believe your life has peaked at such a young age.

Tom: [burst in to room via flame] Dude, abort the mission; we're done.

Candle: [whistles, opens window, and flies away on a file cabinet]