Chapter 26: Mr Candle Cares
[Episode begins inside Echo Creek Academy, at the Guidance Counselor's office]
Oskar Greason: Mr. Candle said I'm gonna be a musician.
Chet: Sweet. I got champion swimmer. I was gonna get dressed, but now I don't need to.
Marco: Wow. Everyone's getting really awesome careers.
Star: I can't wait to find out what my future holds. [nervous laughter] What about you Comet? Aren't you excited about your future?
Comet: Huh? Oh, uh. No, I... haven't thought about my future yet.
Star: Well, I'm excited! I bet my future is gonna be awesome!
Comet: Do you even know what your future is?
Star: No, but that guy in there does! And I'm gonna find out! [walks inside]
Mr. Candle: Star Butterfly. Please sit.
Star: Okay
Candle: Help yourself to some candy.
Star: No, thank you. I'm just really excited to have my fortune told. How do you do it? Read palms? Converse with the dead? Examine head lumps?
Candle: Nope. Just normal guidance counselor stuff. Have you given much thought to your future?
Star: Totally. When I grow up, I wanna raise warnicorns [spawns a warnicorn]
Candle: Well, that seems like a fun hobby but you might not have much time for hobbies as the queen of Mewni.
Star: [warnicorn neighs] Queen?
Candle: I may not know your fortune, but your future is set in stone.
Star: Stone?
Candle: Are you dating anyone?
Star: What? Uh, no.
Candle: What about that Marco boy? Got a secret crush on him?
Star: He's my roommate. We're just friends.
Candle: Yeah, that's weird to date your roommate. Maybe someone else then. It's never too early to start searching for the future king of Mewni.
Star: Maybe
Candle: Cheer up Star. Or should I say, Your Majesty?
Star: Hmm.
[Star leaves the counseling office]
Marco: So how'd it go? [Star walks by him] Or we can catch up later.
[Marco is now in the counseling office.]
Candle: Mr. Diaz. I've been very anxious to speak to you.
Marco: Seen my test scores, have you?
Candle: Indeed.
[Sometime later]
Marco: Garbage Island⁈ What's the use of taking honors classes if it gets you sent to the middle of nowhere?
Star: So don't go. At least you have a choice. Apparently, the only thing in my future is being queen.
Comet: Wait. Candle told you that you were going to be queen of Mewni?
Star: Yeah! He said my future is 'set in stone'.
Marco: Oh, man, I'd love to be queen. You never have to think about what to wear; you have somebody do that for you.
Star: [groans]
Marco: People would just love you because they have to, no matter how weird you are.
Star: [groans]
Marco: You never have to bathe alone.
Comet: Can we possibly skip to the part where you were supposed to be helping?
[Mr. Candle visits the men's restroom]
Marco: Head janitor, Garbage Island.
Star: [sighs]
[Marco enters the restroom and hears a plopping sound]
Marco: I'll come back later.
[A fiery explosion in one of the stalls causes Marco to investigate. He finds that it's caused by Candle dumping some mysterious substance into the toilets.]
Candle: All right sir, phase one is complete. What's next? Sir, are you there?
[Tom's face appears in the toilet's water]
Tom: You idiot! You forgot the most important part. Me!
Candle:I got confirmation. Starco is completely platonic.
Marco: Starco?
Tom: Make sure there's no possibility of them ever being a thing.
Candle: Absolutely, sir.
Tom: Also, stop offering everyone candy. You're gonna blow my cover. I want her back.
Candle: I gotta go.
Tom: I'm not done.
Candle: No. You don't understand. [puts his hands over his pants] I gotta go.
Tom: Flush me first.
[Later, Mr. Candle enters his office whistling]
Marco: Hey Mr. Candle.
Candle: [startled] Oh, hello Marco.
Marco: I appreciate all your guidance with Garbage Island and all, but I'm gonna pass [throws Garbage Island flyer into trashcan, misses]. Actually, I was just thinking I might be king of Mewni.
Candle: [spluttering his drink] What⁈
Marco: The thing is, Star and I have recently become smooch buddies. On the lips.
Candle: Even if that's true kid, you shouldn't say that out loud.
Marco: Yeah, we've been trying all styles. German, Italian, Polynesian. My tongue is so tired, I can't feel my teeth.
[The cat-shaped candy bold explodes into a pillar of flame, revealing Tom.]
Tom: [ferocious growl]
Marco: Busted. I knew you weren't a guidance counselor.
[Tom grabs Marco by the collar. At the Diaz's house, Star reads a magazine about being a queen.]
Comet: Chin up, Star. You get to be your own queen when you grow up.
Star: But mom doesn't want me be my own queen! She wants to be all the other queens! Look! These women look so miserable. [sighs heavily, goes to her mirror]
Comet: At least you got your future set up...
Mirror: Calling Mom
Queen Butterfly: What did you do?
Comet: Surprisingly, she didn't do anything. Yet.
Star: I'd like to ask you something. Are you happy?
Queen: Happy? What difference does that make?
Star: I mean, I don't know. Do you have any warnicorns?
Queen: Goffrey, do I have any warnicorns?
Goffrey: You have 19, Your Majesty.
Queen: Oh. Apparently I have 19.
Star: Oh, sweet.
Queen: But when you are queen, you don't have time for warnicorns.
Star: Oh.
Queen: Everything I'm saying is in your guide book. Incidentally, you may want to review the chapter on hair care.
Star: [brushes her hair sadly]
Queen: If you're going to be queen, you have to look the part. Don't worry so much about happiness. It makes you look pale. Love you. Bye.
Comet: Wait!
Queen: Yes, Comet?
Comet: Uh. I was wondering if there was more for me to do.
Queen: More? Whatever do you mean?
Comet: Well, you put me on this dimension to look after Star and well... she's gonna be Queen one day. But what about me? What's left for me to do. I just know I'm destined for more.
Queen: Oh, Comet. Of course you were meant for more. You have excellent fighting skills and quite the cunning. You'll find a great place in kingdom one day.
Comet: Well, yeah...
Queen: Something wrong, son?
Comet: Uh, nothing.. Bye. [Comet hangs up and looks at Star who was shaving her hair] Uh, Star? What are you doing?
Star: Changing my destiny... [puts on lipstick]
[The scene switches back to Marco, now in Tom's lair. He is being vertically spun on some kind of torture device.]
Marco: Stop! I knew you were listening. I never made out with Star.
Tom: [snaps; the wheel stops spinning]
Marco: I just said that to get your goat.
Skull on wall: what?
Tom: You lied to me.
Marco: Well, you lied to Star. You made her think all she's good for is being queen.
[Tom frowns and walks away from Marco]
Marco: Dude, just take me home.
[Tom snaps again, which releases Marco in to a tub of water.]
Tom: I can't do that; you know too much. Now I gotta destroy you.
Marco: What⁈ That's not fair.
Tom: All right, fine. Battle to the death. I win, you die.
Marco: What do I get if I win?
Tom: [laughs] It's not gonna happen. So, yeah, ask for whatever you want.
Marco: If I win, you gotta take me home, and you gotta tell Star the truth.
Tom: Fine. Pick your weapon. Dueling battle axes? Rhino fiend joust? Pear grenades of anguish?
[A pear shrieks and explodes.]
Marco: [pointing elsewhere] What about ping-pong?
Tom: [shrugs] That's cool.
Small-headed demon: [holds out a basket full of paddles] Your weapon of choice, my liege.
Marco: I oughta warn you, I'm not only a karate master, I'm also good at ball sports.
[Marco serves the ball to Tom, who smacks it so hard that it breaks Marco's paddle and injuries his hand.]
Marco: Ow!
Demon: Point, Master Tom.
Marco: [grabs another paddle] Okay, so I'm a little rusty. Wait till you... hi-yah!
[Marco surprise serves the ball, Tom smacks it and once again breaks Marco's paddle.]
Marco: Owww!
[Scene switches back to Star. She tears a poster of a queen off the wall, puts on eye liner, lipstick, skull stickers, spiked arm bracelets. She also intentionally tears her pants and grabs a battle axe.]
[Scene returns to Marco's ping-pong game.]
Demon: Game point.
[Tom serves the ball rather slowly]
Marco:[swinging furiously] In your face!
[Tom easily bounces the ball back, and it smacks Marco in the forehead.]
Marco: Ow! Ugh! Since when do ping-pong balls hurt so much?
Tom: These balls are guided by demons.
Marco: Okay. Let's play for real this time. Double or nothing.
Small-headed demon: Dude, you're out of paddles, just give up.
Tom: No, it's fine. Here, you can have mine [throws it at Marco]
Marco: Ugh!
Tom: I don't need it [levitates ball with finger]
[Marco ducks as the ball barely misses his head and cause a huge dent in an arcade machine.]
Marco: Hey! Isn't this kind of cheating?
Tom: You think this is cheating? You should try playing Star at ping-pong.
Marco: Well, Star doesn't really cheat, she just makes up her own rules.
Tom: And then she changes the rules again halfway through the game.
Marco: Oh, so that's why I never win.
Tom: She just does whatever she wants.
Marco: Yeah, that's Star.
Tom: Yeah. She is kinda awesome. [brief silence] You know you're never gonna win, right?
Marco: I know, but you're not either. It doesn't matter if you beat me at ping-pong or pull out all my organs. You can't make Star be your girlfriend unless she wants to.
[Scene cuts to Comet walking upstairs to his training room. Comet takes a deep breath, and focuses his energy on the punching bag and he started to glow. His fist started engulf in a flame then began reagch back to punch but the surge of power stops once he hits the bag. He groans and tries again]
Comet: Come on, Comet! You can do this! [Closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on the bag and then his fist started to glow again and as he was concentrating; thoughts] You can do this, Comet. Do it for you family, for Star... [His eyes began to glow bright blue then he punched the sandbag so powerfully it crashed through the wall. Star heard this and began to become concerned]
Star: Comet? [She runs upstairs to Comet] Bro, are you okay?
Comet: Uh, I'm fine Star... Guh! [Comet is surprised to see Star in a completely new look. Her hair was half-shaved and dyed purple, she wore a black shirt and light purple and blue leggings. She also wore purple spiked armband on her right hand and a long sleeved fingerless glove on the left.] Uh... Are you okay?
Star: Yeah! I've thought I try out a new look. Doesn't look so queenly, right?
Comet: Well, it's one way of putting it.
Star: Don't change the subject. Are you trying your powers again?
Comet: Uh, no. W-W-What makes you say that? [Star points to the sandbag shaped hole Comet made] Ah...
Star: Care to elaborate?
Comet: Well, I thought I might you know prepare...
Star: Prepare for what? You don't have to become queen! You don't have to worry about your future. You don't even know what it is!
Comet: [sighs] Yeah, and that's what worries me... There's gotta be more after this... I mean, you're gonna be queen, you're gonna have a king, then you'll have a princess or a prince of her own.
Star: Uh, wrong! Because that's never gonna happen!
Comet: I know. But where does that leave me? I got these strange powers I don't know about, and I know I can't always be here to for you all my life. You're becoming more independant every day. I never wondered what my future would look like. How am I supposed to plan for it at this point if don't even know what's happening to me now? [sighs]
Star: Wow. That's deep.
Comet: You have no idea.
Star: Look bro. We're both a little worried about our future since we don't know what lies ahead. But I know one thing. Whatever happens, we'll still have each other. Even if I become a boring queen. Which is never gonna happen! I'll make sure of it! Promise to me that no matter what happens. We'll face it together.
Comet: Okay. I promise.
Star: [Held out her pinkie] Pinkie promise?
Comet: [sighs] Okay. [Locks pinkies with Star] Pinkie promise.
[Just then, A torrent of flame delivers Marco back.]
Marco: Star, I have something to tell... [Marco notices Star's new punk appearance] Whoa.
Star: Oh hey Marco. Did you know that if you cut off a mermaid's tail, you can never be queen? It's all in the guide book.
Marco: Star, you don't have to do that.
Star: Oh, thank goodness. I'm so sorry Tiffany; I never wanted to hurt you.
Marco: Shameful [Tom walks in].
Twins: Tom!?
Star: What's going on?
Tom: I have something I need to confess. I used Mr. Candle to try to get back together with you, and it took me destroying Marco 58 games to zero to realize I was wrong. Like, I slaughtered him. I mean, beating him was so easy.
Comet: I know, right. [Star nudges Comet] Oh!
Marco: Okay, she gets it.
Tom: All I wanted was to get you back, but I never stopped to consider what you wanted. I'm sorry.
[Star smile and punches Tom aggressively in the chest.]
Tom: Ow!
Star: You tricked me, but it doesn't even make a difference. I'm still gonna be queen.
Marco: Yeah, but that doesn't sound like a bad thing because you're gonna run Mewni your way, no matter how destructive.
Comet: He's right about that.
Star: Yeah, that's true.
Marco: But what about you, Comet? You're still gonna be there for Star?
Comet: Well, someone's gotta keep this girl from burning the kingdom down. [Star smiles at her brother and throws the guide book away and creates another warnicorn, hugs Marco.]
Demon: Point, Marco.
Tom: [Sadly] Well, I should go. by the way, I like your hair.
[Star smiles, Tom levitates himself back in to the elevator, descending down to the underworld.]
Star: So you guys were hangin' out?
Marco: Uh, yup.
Star: Is he still dark and broody?
Marco: Oh yeah, but he's not so bad.
[Scene changes back to the counseling office]
Candle: No Brittany, I don't believe your life has peaked at such a young age.
Tom: [burst in to room via flame] Dude, abort the mission; we're done.
Candle: [whistles, opens window, and flies away on a file cabinet]
