"Wake up!" Rumble shoved his brother, nearly pushing him off of the counter.

"Be gentle," I said, and scooted him back a little so he wouldn't fall. He was waking up, just slowly. His optics had come online.

What? What's going on? "Why?" he moaned. "Rumble, I was recharging."

"Soundwave's going," Rumble said. "Get up and say goodbye." I don't want you to go.

I knew. But I had to go to school and more school forever. Until I went insane.

"No!" Frenzy was suddenly wide awake. "Going where?"

"School, you…" he glanced in my direction, somehow sensing my disapproval. "Oh, just wake up already and remember."

"Is that this orn?" Frenzy said.

I nodded.

He grabbed my hand and hugged it to him. "I'll miss you!"

Okay, Frenzy.

Then he let go, laid back down, and slipped into recharge again.

Rumble shook his helm in disgust. "Doesn't even care."

"He do-oes."

"He's going to come online later and be so upset. I'll never hear the end of the whining." Thanks a lot, Soundwave.

I shook my helm. "I'll see-ee you."

Rumble crossed his arms. It's not fair that you have to go to school.

There wasn't anything I could do about it. I just had to try to push through to the end. I left him and followed Searchlight out the front door, past Keepsake who insisted on a hug and Cam who put a hand on my shoulder.

"Take care of yourself," he said. "And don't let this hooligan get into too much trouble, okay?"

"I-I'll try."

"Knew I could count on you," Cam said. This good little mech… "And one more thing. Just just to make sure you know. This is your home. You can come here any time."

I nodded. "Tha-a-anks."

This was it. Back to the crowds and the tests. But I'd have Searchlight with me and Breeze and Ratchet and Ravage and Cablereach—a wealth of other mecha and friends I'd never thought I'd have—so maybe, just maybe, it would be all right.

And I could always come back here if necessary.

I followed Searchlight down the street.


The assembly hall was full of chattering younglings and fledglings. Several of them saw Searchlight and waved to him, and he waved back, but he was really looking for Breeze and Ratchet. When he finally saw them, he started pushing his way through the crowd. I followed, feeling kind of overwhelmed. Nothing new there.

Ratchet and Breeze had saved us a spot in the back corner.

"Hi!" Breeze hugged me, then Searchlight. "How was the break?'

"Pretty boring," Searchlight said. "But not too bad. I'm super excited for school."

Breeze raised an optic ridge. Never heard that one from you before.

"I know," Ratchet said. "School is so much better than sitting around and doing nothing." And maybe Searchlight will actually learn something this term now he doesn't have bullies to fight.

"What makes school so exciting all of a sudden?" Breeze asked, frowning in a contemplative sort of way.

"What do you think? Third joor. Check your schedule."

"Oh," Breeze said. Circuit-su. Hooray. She looked at me. Why did we all let him talk us into this?

I shrugged.

"It's going to be awesome," Searchlight said.

Breeze forced a smile. "Sure."

"So, what kept the two of you?" Ratchet asked. "You were almost late."

"Ravage," Searchlight said. "We had to take him to Soundwave's room.

I nodded.

We certainly couldn't bring him in here.

"How's he doing?" Breeze asked.

"Good," Searchlight said. "Big and scary as ever. He can't wait to see you again, Ratchet."

Ratchet mentally went through a list of items he had in subspace that he could possibly throw at Searchlight, but couldn't come up with anything he was willing to risk breaking.

So he settled for a dirty look.

The headmaster and the teachers came in and everyone started taking their seats so that the meeting could start. They let me sit at the very corner so I'd have as few mecha in my processor as possible.

Friends were great.

After the assembly, and the little orientation meeting for fifth terms that we went to, we all split up into classes. I didn't see Searchlight or the others again until third joor.


We met in a big, empty circular room. It looked like the instructor wasn't there yet, but he was actually hiding behind the door to his office, watching all of us, thinking.

I had come across his processor a few times in the previous terms I had been here, but didn't feel like I knew him very well. I found myself studying him as he studied everyone else in the class. I decided after half a breem that he was very old. There was something absolutely ancient about him. And yet, he wasn't complacent or bored like most mecha got to be after a few hundred vorns. And that was interesting.

The way he was studying the class was interesting too. I would have expected him to be trying to categorize us, or at least to be looking for something in particular, but he didn't. He was just trying to get a feel for how each of us moved and interacted with each other. He seemed to believe from experience that it would take about a decaorn before he knew who was likely to stay in the class and who was going to quit.

Searchlight was trying to get my attention.

"Hey. You ok?"

I nodded, looking at him.

"You just look like you're kind of out of it." Are you really ok, or are you just saying that? Nod for ok, shrug for not ok.

I nodded. "Just li-istening," I said.

To who? Searchlight looked around at the other students.

"So, do you think the teacher's going to show up?" Ratchet grumbled. Maybe they won't and we can leave.

"I hope so," Searchlight said.

I don't know what I'm doing in a class like this. Breeze thought. It would be good, I suppose, to know how to defend myself, but…

"What if he doesn't?" Ratchet said.

"He will," Searchlight insisted. "I hope."

"He will," I said quietly.

Can you hear him? He must be close then.

He was about to come out. He could tell the conversations in the classroom were getting to the point of rowdiness and some students were starting to wonder if he was coming. So he opened the door and stepped out, then waited for everyone to see him.

The talking slowly died out and then stopped.

"Good orn, everymech," the instructor said. He was a slim, and a little short, and his build was reminiscent of Praxian, but not quite.

The class responded in a scattered, haphazard matter.

The mech nodded. "Before class, every orn, in the future, there will be a circle on the floor for each of you." He pulled a small remote out of subspace and hit a few buttons. Glowing circles lit up on the floor. "I expect each of you to take a seat in one of the circles."

A few of the other students drifted toward the circles, unsure whether he had meant he wanted them to sit now.

"Please do so now," the mech said, then waited for everyone to take a seat, hiding his amusement behind a schooled, stern expression. He was excited to teach another group of beginners.

"When we begin every orn, I will welcome you to class, and then you will say "We are here to learn, Master Yoketron."

Some of the students nodded.

He sounds so mystical and overdramatic. This is ridiculous already, Ratchet thought.

"So," he said. "Good orn, everymech, welcome to class."

The class responded in unison this time. "We are here to learn, Master Yoketron."

He nodded. "Thank you. Let us begin."

He looked out over his captive and expectant audience.

"Before you were mecha, you were sparks."

Oh, now he's going to bring religion into it, Ratchet thought. Great.

"You are still sparks," Yoketron said. "But now you are sparks empowered. You have frames, which carry your spark and grant it the ability to affect the physical world. You can move, you can touch things. You have gravity. Circuit-Su is the art of gaining complete control over that power. "

Ratchet rolled his optics.

…so you can fight awesomely. Searchlight added to himself.

"The first step to being in control is to learn to fight distraction. All of you shut off your optics and other sensors, except for audio, please."

We all did so. The room got significantly more peaceful. I could still hear everyone thinking, but now I could only see through Yoketron's optics.

"Now," he said. "Clear your processor. Focus inward, on your spark. Pay attention to its rhythm. Do not think about anything else. Just empty your processor and listen."

I listened to everyone else in the class try it. Some of them did a pretty good job. It certainly got a lot less chaotic. This was kind of nice.

This is a complete waste of time, Ratchet thought.

I actually kind of like this, Breeze thought.

Searchlight tried for about two klicks, but got bored. I can be patient. We'll get to the fighting part soon. And then he started daydreaming about that.

I could be studying right now, Ratchet thought.

And Yoketron was watching us carefully. "Vent slowly. Sit quietly," he started walking around the room. "Now when I tell you to, you're going to turn off your audio and just count your spark pulsing. When you've counted a thousand pulses, you can turn your audio back on. Begin."

Everyone turned off their audio as well. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It was almost getting too quiet, even though only a handful of students were successfully meditating. And Ratchet was practically having a fit. Maybe if he just calmed down, it would help him. Yoketron shut off his audios and optics as well, but continued to walk around. With those shut off, it was easier to sense the spark energy in the room. He could tell too, whether the other students were actually meditating. That was interesting. He knew Searchlight wasn't. Also, Ratchet, and me. Breeze was doing really well for a while. Then she realized that she could sense the other sparks around her and that threw her off a little. She started trying to pick out which one was Searchlight's, and lost concentration. Her audios even came back on, and she had to shut them off again.

A few of the other students were doing pretty well too, and some even noticed that they could sense everyone's sparks.

Searchlight was kind of bored, but he figured we'd get to the fighting after this.

One by one, the other students brought their audios back on, and their optics. We were supposed to have been counting spark pulses. Oops. I brought my audios and my screen back on too. The room was suddenly noisy again. That had been nice. Maybe I would like this class more than I had thought.

"So," Master Yoketron said. "What did you feel?"

There was quiet. Breeze raised her hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Breeze."

"Breeze," Yoketron repeated.

"I could… I don't know if I was imagining it, but I thought I could feel the spark energy from the mecha around me."

Some of the others nodded.

Wait, what? Searchlight looked at her. No way. That is so cool.

"Very good. Anything else?"

Another mech raised his hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Photonic"

"Go ahead."

"It was kind of hard to focus."

Yoketron nodded. "It can be difficult."

Ratchet raised his hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Ratchet. Master Yoketron, what is the point?"

The class was a little shocked, but Yoketron himself kept his cool. In fact, he smiled a little. "That is a very good question, Ratchet. What is the point of meditating? Does anyone have an idea? Yes. Designation."

"Bellows. It… uh… calms us down?"

"It does that, yes," Yoketron said.

I don't need to be calmed down, Ratchet thought.

I hesitated. Part of me wanted to raise my hand, but I didn't actually want to talk.

Another student answered.

"It helps you focus. Like you said, it helps you not to get distracted."

Yoketron nodded. "In order to be in control of yourself outwardly, you need to be in control inwardly. Once you've mastered meditating, you will be able to remain calm and in control even in distracting situations." He looked at Ratchet again. "Does that answer your question, Ratchet?"

Ratchet hesitated, then nodded. "Yes." But I still think it's a waste of time.

"Now, meditation is an act of connecting yourself with the universe. When you meditate, it is important that your frame is in a state of rest and balance. Some of you had an easier time than others, and part of that is because of your posture. You need to find a way to balance so that you could slip into recharge without falling over. Then your balance center doesn't have to work and you get used to the feeling of being stable, which will help you when we practice moving.

"Now, there are many different types of frames, and each of you will have a slightly different center of balance, but that is all right. There are five standard postures for meditating. Usually, two or three of them will work for each mech or femme. I will demonstrate the first one and you can try it…"

He did so, coaching us on how exactly to sit. Then went through the other four postures. He asked each of us to try them and pick one that worked for our frame. None of them had felt particularly balanced to me, but I picked one and tried it. Yoketron told us he wanted us to meditate again, but warned us to be prepared, because he was going to come around and help us correct our posture.

Only a few had really figured it out. I listened in with interest as he went to the students one by one. He tapped them on the shoulder so they'd know they could stop meditating, then he helped them fix their posture so that they were completely balanced. It really did seem to help with the meditating. A few of them slipped out of their posture soon after he left them, but some were doing well.

He got to me and tapped my shoulder.

I turned my audios and screen on.

"What is your designation?"

"Soundwave," I said.

He nodded. "Can you try the third posture I showed you? Do you remember it?"

I nodded as well, and tried it. It wasn't quite right. He watched me thoughtfully. His frame is a little unusual. Custom built, probably. This might be a little tricky. Maybe…

"There's another one I'd like you to try," he said. I haven't used this one for vorns. "Let me show you."

It took a breem for me to get it, but when I did, I could really tell. I had expected that, from listening to the other mecha feel it, but it was still almost surprising. I could just… let go, and I didn't fall over.

Yoketron moved on.

I was a little sad when he finally had us stop. More time had gone by than anyone realized except for Ratchet and Searchlight who were both bored out of their processors. It was funny how similar their emotions were sometimes, even when they disagreed about things.

Master Yoketron spoke for a few more breems, praising the class for a good first try and talking about classroom etiquette a little more. And then he told us to practice meditating and dismissed us early.

Searchlight waited for most of the students to file out. Yoketron saw him and guessed that he had a question. Breeze, Ratchet and I waited as well.

Searchlight walked up to the instructor.

"Yes, Searchlight? You have something to ask me?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "Circuit-su involves… you know… fighting, right?"

Master Yoketron could barely keep his faceplate straight. One of these ones… He nodded solemnly.

"When do we get to that part?" Don't tell me it's decaorns away, please…

"We get to that part when we get better at meditating," Yoketron met Searchlight's optics in a meaningful way. Yes, I know you didn't even try, sparkling.

Searchlight held the teacher's gaze—not quite defiantly, but at least with confidence.

Yoketron was a little intrigued by that, but didn't react. "I will see you next orn, Searchlight." He nodded curtly.

Searchlight nodded as well and walked back to the rest of us. "Come on," he said.

The rest of school wasn't too bad. Everyone was excited or unhappy or stressed because of the new term, but so it was every term. I was very ready for it to be over by the end of the orn. I got Ravage and took him with me to Searchlight's room, where everyone else was already waiting. Ravage leaped off my shoulders and went to spread himself across Ratchet's desk. Ratchet glared at him, but was secretly happy to see him.

"I changed my mind," Searchlight said. "I'm not excited for school."

Breeze shook her helm.

"In fact, I hate school."

I sat down on Ratchet's berth, because Breeze was in the chair.

"How are you holding up, 'Wave?"

"Fine," I said.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"I saw Cablereach. He said that we should come visit him some time this orn or next orn." That'll be good. He's pretty cool, for a teacher.

"That's good," Breeze said. Oh, and Soundwave, I'm taking a class about the psychology behind speaking this term, so I'm definitely wanting to help you try and get better at talking.

I had been really excited about that idea when Breeze had first offered. But I wasn't so sure now. I guessed it was all right for her to try. And it would be nice if I could learn to speak better… but it might not be worth it.

"This term…" We have to find some way to make school more interesting. "This term, we ought to do something really awesome."

Oh, here we go, Ratchet thought. "Count me out."

"No I mean, not something stupid. Something cool."

"I thought learning how to fight was cool," Breeze said.

Searchlight shook his helm. "That is going to take ages. And that teacher—I think he's probably really epic, but it's hard to tell. He could just like the sound of his own voice. I haven't decided yet. But whether or not that ends up being cool, we should do something."

Breeze smiled. He is so ridiculous. "Like what?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still thinking about it."

We did end up going to Cablereach's office a little later in the orn. He was busy talking to another student at first, but welcomed us in and we waited. When he was finished with the other student, he shut the door and we talked for a while. Mostly he just asked us how we were doing, and made sure to re-emphasize how important it was for us to keep my abilities a secret.


The next orn, classes went about the same. After they were over, I went to my room to get Ravage, and found Breeze there, waiting for me.

"So," she said. "I learned this orn there are three different kinds of speech problems that are the most common."

I nodded and opened the door. I'd looked into it a little on my own last term, but decided to just let it lie. I really wasn't sure if I wanted to let Breeze make a project out of me, but I'd put up with it for now. She'd probably give up after a while. I beckoned her in and she sat at my desk while I took the berth. Ravage climbed up onto my shoulders.

"I think your problem is a core thing. Something about the connection between your core and your processor makes it hard for you to talk, especially if you're feeling a lot of emotion… or it could be the connection between your processor and your voice box. That would explain why you have a hard time talking when your processor is overloaded. Or, it could be both. If it's a problem with your processor, that will be harder to work with, especially since your processor's probably a little different than everyone else's…." And if he'd want to fix that, he'd need processor surgery or something. Nomech wants that.

I pulled out a datapad. [It's probably a processor problem. I didn't stutter as a sparkling, before the accident]

She looked at the datapad. I should ask him not to use that… he remembers before the accident? "You remember…"

I shook my helm and typed. [Crescent remembers]

"Hmmm…" But if it's a processor problem, there might not be much I can do.

I shrugged.

She narrowed her optics. Don't shrug at me. I'm not giving up. Besides, I think it's emotional. "If it was purely a processor problem, then why would you stutter worse then you're upset or nervous? Here. I want you to try something. Try not to feel any emotion. Try speaking without any inflection at all, just flat and monotone. Try not to feel the words, just say them."

I looked at her.

"Go on."

I reached for the datapad, but she held it away from me. "Take a couple of deep vents and say something. Take your time. It doesn't matter how it sounds."

I took a deep vent and let it out slowly. I tried to dampen all the emotion in my core and spoke in a quiet, dead-sounding voice.

"I ha-ate talking," I took another vent. "So it doesn't matte-er." I hesitated.

"See?" Breeze said. "You stuttered less." Except that was really creepy… oops, sorry, I didn't mean that.

I held out my hand for the datapad.

She hesitated. I want you to talk.

I pulled my hand back and waited, feeling frustrated. Then I felt bad. She was only trying to help me after all. I looked down.

Don't be mad at me. "Soundwave…" Maybe I should handle this differently. "Soundwave, ok…" It really isn't my choice. "I know you don't like to talk, but if you learn how then you'll be happier. But I can't force you… so do you want to do this or not?"

I hesitated.

And now you have to make the decision.

I held out my hand again.

She gave me the datapad.

[I'm in for now. I don't think you can do anything, though. And I can't walk around talking like a drone.]

She frowned. She was a little hurt that I didn't have any faith in her ability to help me. "The end goal is to talk normally. That was just an exercise, to show you that emotions are really a big part of it."

Searchlight was coming.

"I just wanted you to see that…"

The door opened. "Hey, Soundwave… and Breeze…" There you are, both of you. "Working on talking?"

Breeze nodded. "Yep."

"Awesome. Can I sit in?"

That would be ok, Breeze thought. But distracting.

"What?" Searchlight noticed her hesitation.

"No," I said.

Wow. You're kind of grumpy. "Okay, then," he raised an optic ridge. "Just come to my room when you're done, ok? Ratchet's been driving me up the wall… I've been driving him up the wall… or something. We need you, mech."

"Ok," I said.

"Thanks. You're the best. I'll let you two get back to what you were doing." He left and the door shut behind him.

Breeze sighed. He needs you but he doesn't even think about me.

She was actually much better at helping Searchlight and Ratchet get along with each other than I was. I shrugged.

She looked at me. He doesn't even notice me, does he?

I tilted my helm back and forth. He did care about her and considered her a close friend…

"You're just trying to be nice," Breeze said.

I wrote [I don't think the idea of liking you has ever crossed his processor. Maybe if he thought of it, he might decide he does like you. You could try telling him.]

She looked at the message, then deleted it. "Are you crazy? I can't do that!"

I shrugged.

And don't you tell him either. Don't even think about it.

I shrugged again.

"You had better not!"

I shook my helm, wishing I could smile to show her I was just teasing. "Don't worry," I said.

Breeze vented another sigh. I just hope he doesn't get it into his processor that the two of us like each other.

I shook my helm and replayed a recording of what I had said before. "Don't worry."

She smiled bitterly. "At least I don't have to worry about him figuring out that I like him. He's not very observant about that sort of thing, is he?"

[Try completely oblivious]

She smiled. Then frowned. But that doesn't help me. I bet it's painfully obvious to everyone but him.

And now she was depressed and self-conscious. Honestly, why did femmes get like that over practically nothing? And she assumed that just because Searchlight wasn't helm-over-heels in love with her that he must hate her, or be upset with her about something. He hadn't even thought about her like that. That didn't mean he wouldn't. Of course, it didn't mean he would either. I didn't want to give her false hope… but…

[Just be patient] I wrote.

She shuttered her optics and took an overdramatically deep vent. "Patience," she said. "That's a good idea." I don't want to be patient.

"So…" I said.

"Okay. Talking." She shook her helm. "Sorry, where were we?"

I shrugged. We'd been discussing whether this was even a good idea in the first place.

Searchlight distracted me. You wanted the datapad back… oh. "I was thinking that if we're going to do this, I want you to promise that you won't use that datapad while we're talking."

I looked down.

"I don't care if it takes longer for you to communicate." Breeze said. "And I won't judge you." Surely you know I don't care what your voice sounds like.

I hesitated, then nodded slightly.

"So long as that's the only reason you don't like to talk." It doesn't actually hurt, does it?

I shook my helm. No, it didn't. Not physically, at least.

And while it was true she wouldn't judge me, she would measure me, count the times I stuttered, watch for improvement, and encourage me. That would be uncomfortable.

"So… are you willing to agree to that?"

I hesitated again, then put the datapad back in subspace and nodded.

"Okay," Breeze said. "So talking in a monotone voice is a start. You still stutter when you do that, just not as much. Maybe if you try it a little more you can master not stuttering when you talk like that."

I looked at her.

"No matter what, the thing that's probably going to make a difference is practicing. You're going to have to practice."

Great. "What i-if I don't kno-o-ow what to sa-ay?"

"Uh… you could try reading something out loud."

I nodded. That would probably be a solution. No getting out of it. Oh well. She got a datapad out and I took a deep vent and prepared for the worst.