CHAPTER 27
Thursday night the first thing Jeff did was locate Mark. The second thing he did was ball his fist and drive it right into the older man's nose, instantly rewarded with a spurt of blood. "DON'T EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Jeff, no!" Briar shrieked, shaking her head. She had spent the past three nights trying to convince him Mark hadn't been the one to attack her but he obviously hadn't listened. "Jeff! Mark didn't touch me!"
"I seen your face!"
"He SAVED me, how many times do I have to tell you!?"
Jeff stared at Mark, who was holding his bleeding nose, paling. Now that he was actually in front of the man… things weren't so black and white. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"He didn't hurt you?"
"No."
"And the tee shirt?"
"He let me wear it after the guy who tried hurting me tore my dress." Briar watched her boyfriend turned paler than a sheet. "Jeff?"
"Briar! We aired that segment on RAW and the ratings went up! We're going to do another one."
"In a minute, Shane." She was busy watching Jeff turn all the colors of the rainbow."
Jeff started stuttering. "I- I uh…"
"HARDY!" Mark bellowed.
"Gotta go!" Jeff zoomed off, not wanting to get cream though he managed to drop a quick kiss on Briar's lips.
Mark stepped out into the hallway, groaning when a passing Diva halted and turned to stare up at him. "What?"
"Here." She reached into her purse, produced a tampon and ripped off the wrapper. A second later, the tampon was up his nose. "That'll take care of the bleeding. Try Midol for the cramps." She took off before he could get over his shock.
"What the hell is in your nose?" Vince demanded, trying his hardest not to laugh.
"That looks like-"
"Holy shit, dude. The Undertaker has a tampon up his nose!"
"Mark, do you need some Pamprin as well?" Shane asked with a grin, unable to resist himself.
Somebody get him a pad!"
"With or without wings?"
The hallway had become crowded with people. This was Mark's own personal hell and he had Jeff fucking Hardy to blame.
Briar was leaning against the wall to keep from falling she was laughing so hard. She wondered what the hell Jeff was going to do when Mark finally got his hands on him.
"I have a new slogan for the Undertaker." Shane announced between chuckles. "Deadman Express on PMS."
"Oh yeah, you all this is DAMN funny, don't you?" Mark growled, clenching his jaw tightly. The sight of Briar giggling her ass off was more than he could take. Snarling, he stalked off in the direction her now soon to be dead boyfriend had taken off, planning on killing Maria if he came across her scrawny ass as well. "HARDY!"
Jeff was running for his life, putting people and objects in front of him
"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, BOY!"
"A tampon…" Vince wheezed, dropping to his knees only for Shane to help him back up and wiped tears from his eyes. "Imagine if we got THAT on camera?"
That sent everyone into another fit of laughter.
Briar was chasing after Mark, holding her side; trying to stop laughing because generally it wasn't smart to laugh directly into the face of a pissed off bull. "Mark, wait!" She gasped, giggling and grabbed his arms, almost colliding into him when he froze. "Jeff… he didn't… know better…" Oh God, her side hurt. "Look, I-"
"HEY!" Alex bellowed, poking his head out of the medic's room. "Make sure you change out the tampon before you get in the ring, Deadman. That's a health violation!"
"He's DEAD." Mark vowed darkly, jerking away from Briar. "I'm going to shove a whole pack of tampons up your ass, Alex is you say one more thing!"
"They don't come in packs, they come in boxes."
Jeff was at a dead end, hugging the wall. "Look, 'Taker, I'm sorry! I thought you hit her!"
"I don't care WHAT you thought I did! Your ass is mine, son!"
"Come on man, I was just tryin'-"
"Yeah, you're going to be trying alright, when I shove MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS! GET OVER HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!"
"Mark, come on, Shane's yelling for us, remember? Segment?" Briar tried again, watching as Jeff hurled a basket of women's bras and panties at Mark. Her eyes widened when a pair of red lacy thongs landed on Mark's face. "Well…" She commented as he slowly pulled them off his face. "The bright side is that tampons go great with thongs."
Snarling, Mark stood there torn between work and murder. Finally, he tore the tampon from his nose, sniffing hesitantly and sighed in relief when he didn't wind up with a spray of blood coating his hand. Reluctantly, he followed her back down the hall, shooting Jeff a murderous glare over his shoulder. Time enough for that later.
"Glad you could get off the rag long enough to join us." Shane said with a smile when the pair reached them, the camera man already in place. "Just a scene here in the hall, that'll be fine."
Briar sighed, settling herself back into a relaxed leaning position against the wall, arms folded over her chest.
Mark nodded once, waiting for the signal. He could vent a little on Briar. "You think it's funny, bein' here and screwin' with my career, Lola?" He demanded, slamming a fist against the wall, right next to her head. "ANSWER ME!"
Considering she already had the giggles, this was kind of perfect. "Yes!" She tittered, reaching up to press a finger just under his nose, holding it up to reveal blood. "Did you know you're bleeding?" She asked innocently, wiping it off on his lips. "I'm going to KEEP screwing with you too." She added, her voice lowering to a husky pitch. "I already told you, 'Taker. I won't stop until I think you've suffered enough."
"Is that right?" His own voice grew husky as well, stepping toward her, an eyebrow raising when she kept giggling. "You think what your red FREAK did is funny? I'll show you funny. I'm goin' to hurt him, Lola. I'm going to break every damn bone in his body and when he's lyin' on his deathbed, then I'm comin' for you."
She had stopped giggling at this point.
"You think last time was brutal?" He gave her a once over. "You ain't seen NOTHING yet."
"Oh but Taker," She was advancing on him now, licking her upper lip slowly as she pushed him back into the opposite wall. "I've seen it ALL." Her eyes purposefully strayed down his body, then back up. "And I wasn't impressed."
Laughing, she walked away.
"And cut…" The camera man rewound to the expression on Mark's face when she had walked away. "Damn."
"How was it?" Briar asked curiously.
"I need a cold shower. Excuse me." Mark grunted, pushing past her to walk away, running a hand through his short hair. Killing Jeff could wait, his hard on couldn't.
"That was fabulous!" Vince crowed, lifting Briar off her feet and hugged her. "You're doing a GREAT JOB!"
Briar was reeling when he put her down, seeing the shocked look on Shane's face.
"That was insane, Bri." Glenn called out, making his way towards them.
She was still in shock over what Mark had said, in front of her no less. Well, she probably shouldn't have been but still… Shivering, she smiled at Glenn. "It wasn't too much?"
"Well… the blood thing was kind of gross in a sexy sort of way."
"Eww, Shane, eww."
"It was perfect!" Vince was a happy camper as he strutted down the hallway, going to look over the tape before it aired later in the night.
***
What the HELL was wrong with him?
That was his step-daughter… no, she wasn't even that anymore, but STILL!
Mark thought he had gotten rid of these types of feeling for Briar only for them to resurface. It didn't help she had showed this almost sadistic, twisted; perverse side of herself on camera. Damn. Her eyes had looked so wicked, he wondered what they would exude in a moment of passion.
Groaning, Mark turned the shower sprays to cold.
