When You've Been Hurt, Too
Chapter 28 – Lost
By Threshie
AN: Phew, decided to take a break from homework and work on this instead. I don't own Escaflowne or any of its characters. Let's see what Dallet's up to, why don't we...?
So now it was final. Absolutely, irreparably final. Being crossed was the only way out, and even then it wouldn't be going back to how he had been.
I'm not human anymore. His thoughts somehow kept coming back to this point. It was frustrating in itself, this feeling of being stunned inwardly—he thought he'd gotten past the fact that he'd been embraced back before the changes started, but now that they were complete, he had truly crossed the line. Now that he'd drank blood...not just a sip, but drank it...
From a person, too—Guimel hasn't even done that yet! He reached up to swipe at the last smears of crimson on his face, feeling like he should be queasy but unable to be. The truth was that, physically, he'd felt excellent ever since he had bitten Kagero—no pain, no feeling ill or weak or shaky. He felt sick inside, though.
His impromptu donor had stayed with them in the caboose after Migel bandaged him up, talking quietly to Dilandau and glancing Dallet's way every so often. It was easy to tell that the brunette's silent behavior was worrying the others, but he couldn't muster up the will to interact with them at the moment.
...I couldn't stop myself. Having somebody drink my blood didn't bother me...the thought of drinking it didn't bother me, but...the act...I-I couldn't stop myself... He realized vaguely that he'draised one hand to his lips, but didn't particularly care. It wasn't the act of drinking blood that bothered him—it was definitely that complete loss of self-control. He'd been not just drawn, but compelled to bite Kagero, and even his mind's best efforts to control himself had been overridden by an insatiable bloodlust...
And, as with the conflicts of interest for mind and body during the blood drinking, now his body felt wonderful and his mind felt sick. Self-control had always been one of his stronger points...one of the few assets he'd had to take on the harsh world with, and now even that had been compromised? Dilandau-sama said that the thirst can even overpower him
BAM-BAM-BAM!
The solid thumping on the outside of the caboose door startled Dallet so much that he jumped. Wh-what's...?
"Who's in there? Is Mr. Awai with you?" The deep, gruff voice sounded threatening; Dallet turned his head a little to see what the others' reactions were, since as far as he knew the person outside was a complete stranger. Dilandau seemed a bit surprised, Migel looked irritated, and Kagero...did anything startle the man? Awai...wait, that's Kagero's surname...
"I'm right here, yes," Kagero called back, smiling apologetically at Dilandau as he stood and headed toward the door. More quietly, he asked the silvery-haired boy, "Can I open the door without causing trouble?"
With a glance at Dallet, who was till sitting quietly with his head bowed, Dilandau frowned and nodded.
"I don't want them around too long, though." I don't think he would lose control of himself and bite anybody so soon after drinking, but...until I give Celena the Kiss, nothing's certain. That'd be all I needed, letting someone on the estate other than Kagero find out that we're vampires!
"No problem," the blonde unlocked the door, then sweatdropped as four silver barrels were promptly trained on his head. "Eaaasy, guys, it's me."
All of his bodyguards lowered their handguns just as promptly, some peering into the room behind him while a couple of them stared at their boss a bit incredulously.
"You're bleeding, sir!" One of the big men observed gruffly, having glimpsed the edge of the bandage around the collar of the blonde's jacket. Shooting Dilandau a suspicious glare over Kagero's shoulder, he added pointedly, "Who the hell did this?"
The pale vampire frowned evenly back through his black sunglasses, which he'd put back on as soon as Kagero had started for the door. Go ahead, single me out as the villain! Just because I'm in a black trench coat, is that it? He thought sourly.
"...Not important at the moment," Kagero shrugged easily, in response to the question. Smiling up at the dark-skinned, burly and shaven-headed man who had asked, he added, "Don't worry, it doesn't apply to your protection duties either—my responsibility, not gonna come out of your pay. Okay?"
"...Sure, sir," the bodyguard replied flatly, obviously no happy with the explanation but also used to his boss's odd ways by now. He crossed his arms and fell silent.
Kagero turned to Dilandau.
"I have to get going, looks like," he smiled again; the albino knew from years' experience that it was his usual facial expression. "Good luck getting to your destination; take care, everybody." He glanced at Dallet in particular, Dilandau noted.
"Right. Good luck with your business...stuff," Migel offered as sincerely as he could, raising one hand in a wave.
Dilandau crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat.
"Your stop's coming up, I take it, Kagero?"
The blonde bobbed his head, "Yeah."
"See you sometime later, then," the albino vampire nodded at him; he made no other comment or move while the blonde and his hired men retreated back out into the populated area of the train. We've been aboard for hours now...it must be nearly nightfall. We passed our stop awhile ago, so...only a little longer until we reach it again, in the dark this time...
More waiting to do. He hated waiting.
Locking the door again, Migel sighed heavily. "Well, hell...I hope those guys don't see the bite marks."
"He's smarter than that," Dilandau replied offhandedly, scowling and clutching one wrist; they had been stinging again for the past half hour, worse than before. Viole must be in pain...it has to be the silver burns. I thought they were taken care of, dammit—he acted fine when I left! He could walk around by himself, he didn't seem to be in pain...
He furrowed his pale brows further, hunching down in his seat. Viole's pain wasn't the only thing that was bothering him. Ever since he'd bitten Kagero, Dallet had been feeling a slew of discomforting and confusing emotions—he was tired, he was angry, he was sad, he was afraid...it felt like a big jumble in Dilandau's mind, and it combined with the stinging wrists made him feel so awful that he was glad he was sitting down right now.
That damned Folken! This is all his fault, the pale vampire thought darkly, eyes flaring again behind the shades. If he hadn't kept Celena at his keep without telling me that she was there, I would've gotten her back weeks ago and given her the Kiss—I wouldn't have had to leave the keep with Viole in this condition, and all of these weird side effects of no Kiss wouldn't be happening! It's all Folken's stupid fault...
All of this waiting was driving him crazy. Hell, all of this silent treatment—Dilandau looked to be in a foul mood, so talking to him wouldn't be very smart, and Dallet seemed to be alternating between looking frustrated and looking like he might cry. And I'm just sitting here, all useless-like. Migel sighed, swiping wisps of bangs out of his face with one hand and leaning forward onto one knee with the elbow of the other.
"...Hey, Dallet?" Migel glanced at his friend, but the other brunette didn't even look at him; no response came, either.
"Dammit, Dallet, snap out of it! Being a vampire's not so bad, anyway—you'll get used to it," he offered, trying to be encouraging. "I mean, hell, I didn't like the idea when I was first embraced, either—I was even worse than you about it, but I got used to it in the end, right? Drinking blood's no big deal, especially when the donor's are volunteering and everything...and you get to be immortal, and you regenerate from almost anything, I mean, c'mon, that's pretty damned cool...and..."
He trailed off, realizing that he was rambling on, and that nobody was listening anyway. ...I really can't help, can I? It was the same with rescuing Viole, and with keeping Gatti from being crossed—I try, but I can't do a damned thing right! He leaned his forehead against both palms, sighing.
No reply.
"...You're right...it's hopeless, ain't it," he told Dallet flatly, standing. "Well, fine. That's fine...just sit there, then." Crossing his arms, he headed to the other side of the car, near the door and away from the two other silent inhabitants of the room, and paced, wishing this whole trip could be over with already.
The keep seemed a lot bigger when it had no one in it, Guimel decided miserably. It was eerily quiet, too, since Viole had stopped talking and slipped into a fitful, light sleep awhile ago, and the fluffy-haired boy didn't fancy talking to himself like some crazy person.
He'd sat and watched the beautiful vampire's condition worsen for the past hour and a half, and still there was no sign of Gatti's return. What am I supposed to do? What if he doesn't come back? That was his worst fear—that Gatti didn't return. Viole was in no condition to move, but if he didn't get some blood to drink soon, the burns were going to get worse and worse.
That would leave him—him, Guimel, the guy who hadn't even been a vampire for six months yet—to venture up to the surface, possibly in broad daylight that could kill him, and somehow locate a donor, all with the threat of the Abaharaki always looming.
How do they find us so easily as soon as we leave the keep? The fluffy-haired boy wondered fearfully, leaning on one hand and watching Viole grimace in his sleep, turning his head one way and than the other. ...What do I do? Isn't there anything that can help him feel a little better until Gatti gets back? He bit his lip, then winced as said lip was jabbed by his fangs.
"O-ouch..." He pressed a hand over his mouth, tears pricking his eyes, but tasted only a hint of coppery blood before his regeneration closed the holes.
Viole stirred, baby blue eyes opening dreamily to gaze up at the ceiling. Wordlessly, that gaze slid to the side to look at him.
"...Guimel..." He smiled faintly, curling the hand that rested on his chest into a loose fist. "A-are you okay...? You said...said ouch, I...thought..." He winced a little, trailing off the rest of his sentence
"I-I'm fine," the fluffy-haired boy fidgeted, worry clear on his face. "I just bit my lip, um...h-had any dreams lately?" If you can see the future, you'll see when you're gonna die, right? You'd tell us if you saw that...right?
Viole sighed, "...Dreams..." He blinked, frowning a little as memories of one evidently came back to him. "...I did. It's...I-I'm not sure...what it means."
"N-nobody's gonna die, are they?" Guimel asked nervously, unable to help how wide his green eyes were as he waited for a reply.
"O-oh, no," the beauty assured him, smiling again, "D-don't worry about that...n-nobody's dying..." He winced again, shivering, but seemed determined to finish what he'd started to say. "Th...m-my dream...wasn't about that..."
Guimel nodded; injured or not, Viole definitely knew better than he did. Really, the fluffy-haired boy was relieved that he was awake again so that he wasn't the one in charge anymore... But he's not well enough to do anything, and I don't know what to do if I have to go find a donor by myself, he thought anxiously, So come back soon, Gatti! Please hurry...
Meanwhile, a certain blonde childe was getting awfully frustrated. He'd eventually located a servant—as his 'luck' would have it, a plump middle-aged maid who was in the process of stealing a half dozen bottles of the good stuff from the wine cellar—and asked her to point him in the direction of Kagero.
She'd said she didn't know, but told him to go the lobby if he wanted to ask the secretary there. She'd then asked why Gatti was down in the wine cellar if he was looking for Kagero, to which the blonde had replied pointedly that he wouldn't ask her why she was in the wine cellar if she didn't ask him.
She'd agreed to that pretty quickly.
The lobby...oh, yes, I can go into there, no problem. It's only the one room in the estate with the most windows per square foot! Sighing, he paused to glance either way down the hall; he knew which way the lobby was, but going there seemed pretty pointless when he couldn't take even a step inside. I've already taken too long about this—I wonder how Viole's doing? I hope Guimel's doing okay at taking care of him... Not that there was much that the fluffy-haired boy could do for him, anyway—blood was the only way to strengthen regeneration, and that was a fact.
Focus, Gatti, he commanded himself, returning his attention to his own dilemma. The only way to talk to the secretary is to go into the lobby—how can you do that without stepping into the sunlight? What can block sunlight...? Clothing might, although it would certainly be an uncomfortably thin barrier between himself and potentially fatal burns.
However, there was no way he could walk into the lobby with anything covering his head or face and not be immediately singled out as conspicuous—and he couldn't afford to be questioned. He didn't have the time, for one, and for two if they made him walk into sunlight then it would all be over.
What to do... He frowned, pausing in the middle of a long, wide hallway with—strangely enough—pink walls and dove grey curtains. What would Dilandau-sama do...? He sweatdropped, as the image of a cursing Dilandau with flaring crimson eyes came to mind. ...Probably demand the secretary come into the shade because sunlight set off his albinism. Handy excuse for him, but I don't exactly look albino...
The blonde watched a servant far down the hall make a beeline for a pair of fancy wooden doors, frowning to himself. I didn't want to have to resort to doing this, but...looks like I have no choice. Whether he wants to or not, that guy's going to become a donor today...! Determined to resolve the situation with Viole, he set off after the servant at a speedy pace. In the moment he'd paused to decide what to do, though, the man had gone into the doors he had been heading for.
Interior double doors—that's the dining room, the vampire recalled, reaching for one of the handles; according to the map in the keep, the dining room was nearly in the center of the mansion, and had no windows to the outside. Instead, Kagero's eccentricity had edged its way into the décor, and the dining room was lined with mirrors framed to look like windows.
Mirrors could be trouble, for vampires had no reflections, but a mistake wouldn't be fatal, however troublesome.
The dining room was fantastic in size, with a long, smooth wooden table that gleamed in the soft lighting from candles side-mounted on the walls. The ceiling was very high; every small footstep echoed off of the walls.
Stepping inside as quietly as he could, Gatti glanced around for the servant; he caught a glimpse of the man disappearing into a side door that must have led to the kitchen. Hopefully there aren't too many other people in there, the blonde thought, starting after him. A voice from behind him stopped him dead in his tracks, though.
"Amazing, Hitomi..."
No...! H-how...can he be here? Gatti froze; he didn't need to turn around to recognize the voice. It was strange to hear it speak so softly, though, when before he had only ever heard anger there.
"I couldn't imagine why a childe of Dilandau's would be here...but, here you are. That's very interesting, Gatti."
Slowly turning around, the vampire's hazy eyes narrowed at another pair just as blue. Allen smiled grimly.
"I have some questions for you."
--End Chapter 28
Hurt Akugi! Volume 28
----Akugi #87
Kagero: "No problem." (Unlocks the door)
Bodyguards: (Shoot first and ask questions later)
Dilandau, Migel and Dallet: "..."
Bodyguards: (Sweatdrop) "Er...you're bleeding, sir!"
Kagero: xx; "N-no...really?"
----Akugi #88
Migel: "Well, hell...I hope those guys don't see the bite marks."
Dilandau: (Offhandedly) "He's smarter than that."
Kagero: (To bodyguards) "Wanna see my new tattoo?" (Grin) "It's shaped like monster bites!"
Dallet: (Sneezes)
----Akugi #89
Narrator: However, there was no way he could walk into the lobby with anything covering his head or face and not be immediately singled out as conspicuous—
Gatti: (Heads into lobby dressed in black hooded trenchcoat with blue bandanna over face) "Got a selection of good things on sale, stranga!"
Secretary: "..."
----Akugi #90
Allen: "Amazing, Hitomi..."
Gatti: No...! H-how...can he be here? (Freezes in place)
Allen: "You look so lovely in that ball gown! Want to dance?"
Gatti: (Facefault) Note to self: to get past Allen Schezar, distract him with a pretty woman! (Runs into kitchen; is not pursued)
AN: Well, this chapter's proof that reviews help keep me inspired. After months of not updating 'Hurt' for lack of time around college homework, I got two new reviews to this fic out of nowhere, and both said they loved the fic and hoped I'd update soon. That made me go back and re-read the last few chapters, as well as what I'd had written of this chapter and never finished, and in doing that I happened upon the AN of chapter 27, which says 'today is the first day of my Fall college quarter'.
I'm two-thirds through my WINTER college quarter now, and there was a three-week break between quarters, so upon realizing how terribly long it's been since I updated, I decided that I owed to myself and my readers alike to finish this chapter and post it! ; Not only that, but writing on this fic again has inspired me once more for future plot-lines—which I have outlined—so unless I get the dreaded writer's block (aka lack of inspiration), which isn't likely, I should update again sooner rather than later.
Kudos to you if you recognize the references in Akugi #88 and Akugi #89...LOL. Hint: The first is from Japanese culture, and the second is from a video game. )
On a last note, wowee did I switch points of view a lot this chapter! (Sweatdrop) I hope that wasn't a confusing mess; I'll try and cut down the point of view switches in the future, ehehe...
Here are the point of view characters for this chapter, in their order of scenes:
Dallet
Dilandau
Migel
Guimel
Gatti
Five POVs for one little chapter...ehehehe...
(Huggles readers) Thanks so much for reading, and for inspiring me with your kind reviews! I'll 'see' ya next chapter. )
--Threshie
