And here we go, continuing from the sad break up. The aftermath! Vilkas and Lassarina POV's this chapter!
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Chapter Twenty-Eight
Vilkas was sitting beside Athis, drinking a large sip of mead, when a sharp pain shot through his heart and he was overcome with an unbearable sadness. He nearly dropped his tankard, splashing some mead onto the Dunmer's lap and earning him a quick glare.
"Watch it," Athis snapped, standing up and wiping his armor.
"Sorry," Vilkas muttered, setting down the tankard.
He clenched his hands, knowing that something was wrong with Lassarina. He was about to head down to the living quarters to find her, when the door at the bottom of the stairs slammed shut and Farkas stomped his way up. Vilkas could see the grief and anger fueling his brother and rose from his seat.
"Farkas are you al-"
He broke off when his twin just kept walking across the hall and over to the back doors to the training yard. He slammed the doors shut behind him, leaving the whole hall silent in his wake. Vilkas saw everyone looking at each other uncomfortably and his eyes met Einarr's. They seemed to reflect his concern and Vilkas walked over to him.
"She's in a lot of pain," he told Einarr, keeping his voice quiet. "Something happened."
"Damn it," Einarr sighed angrily.
"What's going on?" Aela demanded, walking up to them. "Why did Farkas walk out like that?"
"I think they've fought," Vilkas replied. "Whatever just happened, it's left Lassarina feeling terrible. I can feel her pain as if it were my own."
"I'd better go check on her," Einnar said, standing up.
Vilkas nodded and unintentionally followed Einarr downstairs with Aela beside him. Before they even reached Kodlak's room, they could already hear Lassarina sobbing. Vilkas would have run all the way down the hall to her, if Aela hadn't held him back.
"I think it's best if I deal with this," she told them. "The pair of you aren't the most qualified to handle a situation like this."
"She's my sister," Einarr protested.
"And she's also a woman going through a lot of pain," Aela snapped. "So unless either of you have magically obtained breasts, you should leave this to me and go check on Farkas."
Vilkas shifted uncomfortably and Einarr growled beside him. But they both relented and turned around to leave Aela to comfort Lassarina. When they reached the stairs, they were both surprised to find Kiraya eavesdropping on them.
"I'm guessing you heard all of that then?" Einarr sighed, glaring at his daughter.
"Is Aunt Lassarina alright?" she asked, not even phased by her father's glare.
Einarr frowned and knelt down in front of her. "We think she and Farkas had a fight. So she's hurting right now, but Aela is going to try and help her feel better."
Kiraya frowned and walked past Einarr and Vilkas, her face sad, but determined.
"Where are you going?" Einarr asked her.
"I'm going to help Aela," she said simply before running off.
Einarr shook his head and sighed, standing up to give Vilkas a firm nod.
"Let's go check on your brother," he muttered.
Vilkas nodded and led the way up the stairs. Upstairs, the rest of the Companions were all tense, eager to know what was going on. He could barely repress a growl when Ria walked right up to him, her eyes lit with concern.
"What's going on?" she asked him.
"Nothing that concerns you," Vilkas told her, walking right past her.
"We're dealing with it Ria," Einarr told the Imperial woman.
Vilkas walked over to the back doors and swung it open. The cold night air hit his face when he stepped out into the training yard, his eyes searching for his twin brother. He spotted the shadowy shape of Farkas' body standing near Kodlak's still burning pyre. He headed up to Skyforge with Einarr, motioning for him to stand back a bit when they finally reached Farkas. Removing his sword from his back, Vilkas sat down on the ground beside Farkas, his leg's hanging off the edge.
For a while, Vilkas said nothing to his brother, he just sat beside him quietly. He could smell the grief rolling off of Farkas and could feel how tense his body was. His twin was suffering immensely from a pain he hadn't experienced before. He was breathing steadily, his breath following in and out. Finally he spoke.
"It's over," Farkas murmured.
Vilkas frowned and placed a hand on Farkas' shoulder, squeezing it lightly to show his brother he was there for him.
"Did she say why?" Vilkas asked.
"She said she's lost interest in me," he let out a short, anger filled chuckle. "I knew there was a problem, she had been avoiding me for so long."
"Avoiding you?" Vilkas echoed.
"Aye, ever since she became a werewolf," Farkas explained. "Whenever I tried to get close to her or touch her, she would shrink away from me. Like she was repulsed by me."
Vilkas had noticed Lassarina's behavior around her brother lately. She had gone through extreme lengths to avoid Farkas in the past couple of weeks. Aside from that first night, after they returned from Markarth, Lassarina and Farkas hadn't shared a bed and had been no closer than two feet apart when they were among the other Companions. When Farkas tried to help her back to Whiterun earlier that day, Vilkas watched her push Farkas away, her eyes filled with revulsion. He could tell her behavior had been causing Farkas pain, but he said nothing about it.
"I don't know what I've done to make her feel this way," Farkas said, his voice tight. "I thought I was making her happy."
"I'm sure you did nothing wrong Farkas," Vilkas reassured him.
"Aye, you've treated my sister very well," Einarr added, deciding he no longer wanted to sit back and stay silent. "She always had a smile on her face when she was with you."
"Then what changed?" Farkas demanded.
Vilkas exchanged a glance with Einarr. They knew exactly when Lassarina had started behaving this way. It was right after she received her beast blood and her personality went from bright and cheerful, to solemn and short tempered. Looking back at Farkas, Vilkas took a deep breath.
"She became a werewolf brother," Vilkas told him. "She must have been feeling overwhelmed."
"You're the one who turned her," Farkas spat. "You feel everything she feels, why couldn't you tell me something was wrong with her?"
"I only feel what she feels when the emotion is overwhelmingly powerful," he corrected. "Had I known she had been feeling this way, I would have gone to you immediately."
Farkas shook his head, his eyes flashing with pain. "Half a year we've been together. I just can't believe it's over."
Einarr scoffed. "You can't?"
Vilkas shot a glare at Einarr. "Hold your tongue!"
Einarr returned the glare and looked at Farkas. "Farkas you said it yourself, you'd been together half a year. If you cared about her you would have married her a while ago."
Farkas stood and turned to snarl at Einarr. "How dare-"
"Don't bare your teeth at me!" Einarr snarled back. "I like you Farkas but I'm looking out for my sister right now. Not once have I heard you or her mention a future together. The both of you were just playing around, like a couple of children!"
"I cared about her!" Farkas shouted.
"I have no doubt you did," Einarr growled softly. "But did you love her?"
Vilkas saw his brother fall silent, stunned at the sudden question. Part of him wanted to defend his brother against Einarr's anger, but a stronger side of him wanted to know Farkas' true feelings for Lassarina. He could see Farkas struggling to find an answer, and that alone seemed to answer Einarr's question.
"I don't know," Farkas finally answered. "Lassarina and I never spoke of feelings. We just enjoyed each other. We were happy just being together."
"My sister deserves more than that," Einarr told him. "She deserves someone who loves her. Who will give her the life she deserves. And if you can't even answer whether you love her or not, then you aren't the one for her."
Vilkas saw Einarr's gaze turn to him for a split second, practically urging him to speak up, to tell Farkas the truth. But the guilt dwelling within his heart was too much and he looked away. He wasn't ready to talk to his twin brother about this, not when his relationship with Lassarina just ended. He would talk to Farkas when the time was right, and that wasn't now.
"Einarr, just leave me and my brother," Vilkas urged him, not meeting his gaze. "You've said enough."
He looked up long enough to see Einarr shake his head in disappointment, before he turned and walked down the stairs. It was quiet now, the fire from the pyre crackling occasionally. Vilkas turned to his brother, his guilt increasing when he saw Farkas' grief stricken face.
"Farkas don't let anything Einarr said upset you," he said.
"But he's right," Farkas muttered. "If I did really love Lassarina, I would have done everything Einarr just said. I would have married her, settled down..."
Vilkas didn't know what to say. While he wanted to reassure his brother, he couldn't support his current thoughts. It was a terrible feeling, not being able to help your own brother all because you loved the woman that just broke his heart. How was he supposed to even start to confront Farkas about what he felt for her? How he had been attracted to her from the very moment he saw her? That he never did anything about it because it would be a betrayal.
"It'll be alright Farkas," Vilkas told him. "You gave her all you could possibly give."
"But I guess it wasn't enough," he sighed heavily, staring into the fires.
Vilkas frowned, doing nothing more than standing beside his brother and staring at the burning pyre, a hand on his shoulder as the only gesture of comfort.
oOo
"You've done nothing wrong Lassarina," Aela told her, sitting beside her.
Lassarina allowed Aela and Kiraya to lead her out of Kodlak's room and into the huntress' bedroom. She had told them what had happened between her and Farkas and explained how she had gradually become uninterested in him.
"But I've hurt him Aela," Lassarina murmured, wiping a tear from her already wet cheeks.
"Better now than later on," she shrugged. "What if you had gotten married? You would have become trapped in a relationship that you no longer wanted to be in. It wouldn't have been fair to either of you."
"It's not that I don't care about Farkas," she sighed. "It's just that ever since I became a were-"
She broke off and sparred a glance at her niece, who had listened to the whole story and done nothing more than sit beside her and hug her. Lassarina couldn't very well explain her reason for leaving Farkas without revealing hers and the Circles secret.
"Kiraya could you leave us alone?" she asked her niece as kindly as possible.
She gave her an upset look. "I already know you're a werewolf. Both you and Aela."
The two women shot a surprised look at the young girl, not believing what they were hearing.
"How did you find out little cub?" Aela demanded.
"Did Einarr tell you?" Lassarina asked.
She blinked. "No, I overheard Kodlak and Skjor. Papa knows I know too."
Lassarina flinched and glanced at Aela, not knowing what to do about this. But there wasn't much they could do about it now. Turning to Kiraya, she nodded.
"All members of the Circle know about what we are," Aela nodded. "But the others don't."
"But Kodlak told me all of the Circle are werewolves," Kiraya murmured, her brow furrowed in confusion. "If Papa is in the Circle, does that mean he's a werewolf too?"
"Kiraya," Lassarina frowned. "Let's not talk about this anymore."
She suddenly wanted her niece to leave them alone, knowing the child wouldn't just drop the subject as easily as an adult would. She looked down at the fragment of Wuuthrad she still held and gave it to Kiraya.
"Could you run an errand and take this to Eorland?" she asked. "He should be back at his home, so take Fang with you."
"But-"
"It will be good training for you," Aela added. "When the time comes for you to become a Companion, you'll have to run several errands. You might as well get used to it now."
Kiraya scowled. She knew that they were just trying to get rid of her, but she knew better than to object. Nodding, she got off the bed and called for Fang to follow her. Once the child was gone Lassarina turned to Aela.
"Now you can continue," the huntress told her.
Lassarina nodded. "Ever since I became a werewolf, I have been more aware of things. Scents, sounds."
"Aye, I know."
"Well, everyone around me has their own unique scent. Some appeal to me while others don't. Like, you smell friendly and that appeals to me. But if I were to smell Njada, her scent would appeal to me as much as a rotting deer."
"I think I understand what you're trying to say," Aela nodded. "Farkas' scent-"
"-doesn't appeal to me," Lassarina finished. "Every time he gets near me, I know his intentions, and I just what to bite him as a warning."
Aela chuckled. "You truly are a she-wolf."
"That's not reassuring me Aela," Lassarina growled.
"Lassarina what you're experiencing isn't uncommon," the older woman told her. "I experience the same thing all the time. When I first became a werewolf, I was just as lost as you are now."
"Then can you explain to me why Farkas' scent bothers me so much?"
"You have to remember that now that you have the spirit of a wolf inside you, you think as one often. She-wolves are strong animals, that will only accept the perfect mate. The way we find that out is through a males scent. It's how I knew Skjor was my perfect mate."
"Farkas was good to me-"
"But he wasn't the right man for you," Aela interrupted. "When your ideal mate comes around, you'll know. His scent will be very appealing to you, and would make you calm even in the most stressful of situations."
Lassarina started to get an eerie feeling and her words felt familiar. "Doesn't the scent of your forebear have the same calming effect?"
Aela gave her a curious and confused look. "Well, my own forebear's scent was always reassuring, but it never calmed me when I was stressed. Why do you ask?"
She looked away. "No reason."
Aela stared at her for several moments. "Lassarina. How do you feel about Vilkas?"
Lassarina looked up, her eyes wide. Her thoughts strayed to that moment if Driftshade refuge, when Vilkas pulled her into his embrace and was relieved to see she was safe. He had protected her against that werewolf, more than likely saving her life. When she thought about it, he was always looking out for her. She felt a strange warmth in her chest and clutched at the jerkin.
"Lassarina?" Aela prodded.
"I-" she broke off and shook her head. "I don't know. He was a good friend in the beginning. But then he made me drink his blood... Everything changed after that. Sometimes I'm still angry at him for what he did. But lately, things have started getting better again. I feel less anger towards him, I hope our friendship can be mended someday."
"What about his scent?" the huntress urged. "How does his scent appeal to you?"
She shifted uncomfortably. "It's not... unpleasant."
Lassarina let out a frustrated sigh and got off the bed.
"I don't want to talk about Vilkas or Farkas anymore," she growled. "I'm just going to retire to my bed."
She started heading out of the room, but Aela pulled her back. "Lassarina, you shouldn't be so blind to your own feelings. You need to start seeing things clearly."
Lassarina fidgeted for a moment and then pulled away, stalking to the room the other Companions shared and sat down on her bed. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically. A week on the road along with all the tragedy that had transpired, really drained a person. She kicked off her boots and lay on the soft fur beneath her. The Sabercat pelt that she and Farkas had gotten when they first went hunting together. Pain struck her chest again and a tear escaped her eye again. She curled into a ball, clutching the furs in her hands and allowing her grief to come out freely.
oOo
She woke up late in the morning the next day. Her face and eyes were crusted with dry tears and she could feel her lids were swollen. With a heavy sigh, she reluctantly got out of bed, pulling on her boots and finding that she was the only one inside the room. Not even Torvar was in his bed, sleeping off his most recent hangover. It made Lassarina realize she must have slept in later than normal. She walked over to a wash basin and cleaned off her face as best as she could.
Taking a few deep breaths, Lassarina walked out of the room and upstairs to the main hall, trying to brave herself for the awkward and painful moments she would no doubt experience. She found Ria and Njada sitting at the table, sharing a meal together with Kiraya. Fang sat nearby, chewing off whatever meat was left on a goat leg. She also saw her brother sitting on a bench, polishing his greatsword. She spotted a sack beside him, dried blood soaked into the fabric and a horrendous odor wafting off of it.
Einarr looked up from his blade and smiled at her. "Sleep well?"
"As best as I could," she murmured, walking over and sitting beside him.
"I was waiting for you to wake up," he told her.
"For what reason?"
"The members of the Circle are having a meeting in the Underforge," he explained. "You should be there too."
"I'm not a member of the Circle," she pointed out.
"Aye, but this problem concerns you as well," he said, standing up and grabbing the blood stained sack.
"Does it have anything to do with whatever is in that sack?"
Einarr nodded. "Indeed it does. Now let's go."
She got off the bench and followed her brother outside. Torvar and Athis were both training on some dummies, which surprised Lassarina. She guessed the Silver Hand attack on Jorrvaskr must have snapped Torvar out of his endless drunken stupor and made him develop a serious attitude about being a Companion. She heard the sound of a hammer banging on steel coming from the Skyforge and wondered if Eorland was working on repairing Wuuthrad. Einarr led her into the Underforge and they stepped inside to hear Vilkas arguing.
"The old man had one wish before he died," he snapped at Aela. "And he didn't get it. It's as simple as that."
"Being moon-born is not so much of a curse as you might think Vilkas," Aela replied evenly.
Lassarina stayed close to her brother, her eyes drifting over to where Faraks stood, leaning against the rock wall. He looked up at her for a brief moment and she felt her heart break at the amount of pain she saw in his blue-gray eyes. She looked away and simply stared at Aela and Vilkas as they continued to argue.
"That's fine for you," Vilkas countered. "But he wanted to be clean. He wanted to meet Ysgramor and know the glories of Sovengarde. But all that was taken from him."
Lassarina knew right away Vilkas was speaking of Kodlak and she felt a fresh wave of sadness fall over her. Just thinking about the Harbinger made her sad. She would greatly miss the old man, having cared for him as she would a grandfather. She hadn't been prepared for him to die, and she knew deep inside that she would never get over his death. She would always remember him and how he always helped her get her life back on track. How he allowed her to stay in Jorrvaskr even though she wasn't there to be a Companion. She had owed him a great debt, and was never able to repay it.
"And you avenged him," Aela growled.
Farkas spoke up, his voice somber and dull. "Kodlak did not care for vengeance."
His brother shook his head sadly. "No, Farkas, her didn't. And that's not what this is about. We should be honoring Kodlak, no matter our own thoughts on the blood."
Lassarina saw Aela's face fall, sadness and grief darkening her pale eyes. "You're right. It's what he wanted, and he deserved to have it."
Vilkas turned to Einarr. "You have the heads?"
"Aye," Einarr nodded, reaching into the sack and pulling out a Hagraven's head.
Lassarina recoiled in disgust, her grief forgotten over the disgusting scent the head produced. She gagged and took several steps away from her brother, coming to stand near Vilkas.
"Kodlak used to speak of a way to cleanse his soul, even in death," Vilkas continued. "You know the legends of the Tomb of Ysgramor."
"There the souls of the Harbingers will heed the call of northern steel," Aela quoted with a sigh. "We can't even enter the tomb without Wuuthrad, and it's in pieces, like it has been for a thousand years."
Eorland's voice suddenly sounded from the Underforge's entrance. "And dragons were just stories. And elves once rules Skyrim. Just because something is, doesn't mean it must be."
They all turned to look at the blacksmith as he entered the chamber, a large axe strapped to his back. Lassarina recognized the color of the weapon's metal, identifying them as the fragments and felt her jaw drop in shock.
"The blade is a weapon," Eorland told them. "A tool. Tools are meant to be broken. And repaired."
"Is that?" Vilkas gasped in disbelief. "Did you repair the blade?"
"This is the first time I've had all the pieces, thanks to our Shield-Brother here," Eorland explained, glancing at Einarr. He removed the axe from his back and showed it to everyone as he stepped forward. "'The flames of a hero can reforge the shattered.' The flames of Kodlak shall fuel the rebirth of Wuuthrad. And now it will take you to meet him once more."
Lassarina watch as Eorland walked directly to Einarr and held Wuuthrad out for him.
"As the one who bore the fragments, I think you should be the one to carry Wuuthrad into battle," Eorland told him.
"I was not the only one who helped retrieve the fragments," Einarr said, looking over at Lassarina and Vilkas, setting down the sack of witch heads. "They both have much of a right to wield it."
"Brother I could barely lift a sword, let alone that enormous axe," Lassarina smiled softly.
"Eorland is right," Vilkas added. "You should be the one to carry it. Kodlak assigned you with the mission to retrieve the cure, which means he showed great faith in you. You shall be the one to carry Wuuthrad and cleanse his soul."
Einarr dipped his head respectfully to Vilkas and looked at Aela and Farkas a long moment before he finally reached out and took the fabled axe of Ysgramor from Eorland. He gripped the heavy weapon in his hands and stared at it for several moments.
"This is a great honor you have bestowed on me my brothers and sisters," Einarr murmured. "And I thank you for it."
Eorland nodded and turned to Lassarina and the rest of them. "The rest of you, prepare to journey to the Tomb of Ysgramor. For Kodlak."
"For Kodlak!" they all shouted together.
TO THE TOMB OF YSGRAMOR! Alright people we're nearing the end of this story. Only a few more chapters until it's over and then we move on to the sequel, which I have decided to title; Two Halves: Walk with the Shadows
Hope you enjoyed the Chapter. Please Fave/Follow/Review!
Much love,
Mirage
