Chapter 27: Coming Down


I take as much as I can get, I don't take any regret.
I close my eyes to conjure up something, but it's just a faint taste in my mouth.
I think I'm coming down, I think I'm coming down.
By tomorrow I'll be leaving, by tomorrow I'll gone.
If you want to tell me something, you had better make it strong.
'Cause I think I'm coming down, I think I'm coming down.

~"Coming Down," The Dum Dum Girls


"What about this one?" Pepper asked hopefully, lifting the sequined dress off the rack and holding it up to her friend. "You'd rock it."

Natasha's wary eyes gave the dress a glance, before she shrugged and looked away. Her friends stood around awkwardly, giving each other worried but subtle looks as they all held different gowns under their arms. Pepper's weight shifted from her left to right foot uneasily, and losing her hopeful smile, she put one of the numerous dresses she had offered to Natasha back on the rack.

Junior prom was in less than a week now, and it had been a week since Loki and Natasha had their fall out. It was obvious to everyone that things were now... different.

Natasha stared out of the glass windows in the outlet store, blank with her arms crossed over her chest tightly. Other people moved around her, but she did not notice or feel them. It was impossible, with all of the thoughts and emotions in her mind still taking control. There was simply not enough room for all of it. Her friends were constantly trying to get her to communicate with them somehow, to show more than nothing, Pepper especially, but to no avail.

The first day it seemed normal for this to happen, a girl who was turned on by a boy she liked. No one questioned it. But none of the group of close knit friends expected Natasha, the Black Widow, to still be numb to the world for so long.

They had all wanted Loki to leave her alone, but now it forced the question to come around- was it for the better?

It had made Pepper incredibly paranoid and filled with guilt, always desperate to make things better again, but feeling it would never be so. Even shopping for Prom dresses now, she could not manage to get Natasha interested, or even look in her direction.

"Natasha!" She called once more as the girls made their way around the posh store. "What about this one?" Grabbing another beautiful number off a rack.

But when Natasha looked to Pepper, she did not see a green dress, but green eyes. Menacing and broken, alluring, guarded, screaming. Her heart froze, and she stared at the shimmering emerald fabric that would have been so beautiful, if it weren't for the image of Loki behind her eyes, vicious and drunk, telling her horrible words through gritted teeth with every intention of hurting her.

"No." She said immediately, backing away. "Not that one." Pepper looked taken aback at Natasha's livid rejection, confused. It seemed Natasha had really become fond of the color since a couple months ago. It was only a few moments later that Pepper realized her mistake.

"Okay. That's okay." She hastily put the dress back on the rack, behind others of different colors, and Natasha turned away from all of them for a few moments, trying to collect herself and forget the shade of green. The sudden burst of emotion Natasha had given her would not let Pepper give in then. "But I mean, if you're going to prom, you should start looking around more." She was keeping her tone friendly, hopeful even.

"I'm not going to prom." Natasha spun around angrily, her voice cold. "So stop fucking pushing it."

The other girls were quiet as Natasha stormed away from them, walking straight out of the outlet store and into the parking lot. Pepper moved to run after her, but felt Peggy's hand grabbing her arm. "Just let her go." She murmured sadly, and they all stood and stared as they watched her car race away through the glass windows, speeding back onto the main roads to get home.

"Maybe.. we should try some of the dresses on now?" Jane said timidly, breaking the heavy silence.

Pepper, for once, did not really care for prom anymore. "Yeah, yeah. I guess."


It was lunch the following day when the bell rang, and while he was walking to his next class that Clint Barton felt thin fingers grasp at his forearm. He was surprised when he turned around to see Pepper Potts, eyes wide and anxious to talk to him.

Tony was next to her, and did not seem to share this anxiety.

"Clint. We need to talk."

Clint stared, eyes narrowing to slits at the strange couple currently bombarding him.

"It's about Natasha." Tony said flippantly, rolling his eyes at Clint's suspicion.

Those were the words that changed everything. Clint's face softened to understanding, at least as much as Clint Barton's face could, and he snuck a glance back at the grassy courtyard they were standing a distance away from.

Natasha was packing her books and the food she did not eat back into her bag. The rest of their friend group who were getting ready to leave disbanded away from her, obviously aware of the potential threat of getting in Natasha's way.

Her movements were quick and forceful, face expressionless as she stood up, paying no attention to anyone else around her. It pained him to see that she did not seem as fiery, as alive, as she used to. She was walking in the same direction where the group of three were standing, and Clint nodded, motioning for Pepper and Tony to follow him and the rest of the lunch crowd through the double doors.

"Come on. Let's get away from here."

The three of them managed to skip out on their next classes, and snagged themselves a table in the corner of the school's library. They were upperclassmen now, and even if they were not seniors, they could still get away with anything.

The table was silent despite Tony being there, which was enough to let anyone know this was serious.

"So. Speak." Clint said eventually, leaning back in his chair and keeping steady eyes on his two friends before him.

Pepper sighed, her hands unsettled in her lap as they twitched and picked at the hem of her cream colored skirt. "Well. I may have made... a big mistake."

Clint's eyebrows raised expectantly, unsure of where the conversation was going. "A mistake? About Natasha?"

They all spoke in hushed terms, knowing that if they didn't, the school librarian would not tolerate them. Clint could not understand the guilt evident on Pepper's face, until she finally told them the truth. "The day we found her and Loki after the storm... I kind of... got Loki alone and told him certain words. And I think it sent him over the edge and made him stand Natasha up... and caused them... to break up."

"You what?" Clint's voice rose, shooting forward in his seat angrily. Students from other tables looked up then, and the school librarian, Mrs. Grey, hushed them to be quiet, looking displeased.

"Silence in the library." She hissed, before picking up a stack of books and scurrying away to place them on the correct shelves.

Clint recollected himself from the temper he had from time to time, and asked again calmly but through gritted teeth. "You what."

"Hey, listen. She didn't realize it was that big of a deal." Tony said defensively, but Clint wouldn't have it.

"That big of a deal? Loki's a time bomb, did you really think it wouldn't affect him? Do you realize what happened with his family that night?" He had collected enough by Thor's not so subtle actions and behavior to know that there was something very wrong with that household, and Loki was the one that took the hit from it. "What did you say to him?"

Pepper blushed deeply, the soft brown of her freckles sticking out against the red of her skin. "Let's not go there."

Clint laughed in disbelief, and stared the two of them down. "You know, It makes sense now, whatever Loki did to Natasha. You probably destroyed him. You know I knew, before anyone else did. Me and Thor. We worked together to make sure you guys wouldn't find out, because of course, this kind of shit would happen-"

Tony looked like he was about to raise his voice with a snarky remark in response, but Pepper held up her hand to hold him back.

"Listen, I realize now what I did was wrong. I thought I was helping Natasha, but I wasn't at all... and I can't watch her be this way anymore."

The whole table found they could agree with that.

"You're the only one out of all of us who can get through to her." Tony added.

"I know." Clint sighed, running his hand over his short cropped hair, and doing his best to bottle up his anger at Pepper's actions. "But it isn't that simple. This isn't just anyone. It's Natasha."

Pepper looked between the two boys, before squeaking, "I think I have an idea."


Natasha looked straight ahead as she walked from the courtyard, immune to the yelling and shouting underclassmen and the seniors complaining about how much they didn't care about school anymore. One person caught her eye, walking in a different direction from her, long blonde hair and an enormous figure.

Jane was by Thor's side, her small hand held in his, seeming to try and cheer up the boy who had not smiled since everything changed. She wondered what was happening in his house that no one knew about, the secrets Odin and Frigga kept.

Natasha felt her stomach clench painfully, and she could not help the grimace that took place on her lips. The memory of what had happened between her and Thor, the day after Loki had tried to tear her apart, would not leave her mind.

It was lunch the following day, and Natasha had not spoken at all the entire day. The group had decided to ignore the obvious problem, still talking and laughing as if everything were normal. They did not know what had happened- only that Loki did not show up the day before. But by the way Natasha was acting, something much worse had gone down.

When the thirty minute period ended, Thor had approached her with an easy smile, hopeful, expecting a story about how things were better now between his favorite couple.

"Natasha, is Loki doing okay?"

She stilled, looking up at Thor from her spot on the grass, before grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder violently. "Why would I know? He isn't at school today."

Thor's smile slipped away, and he blundered around to keep up with Natasha's quick pace back inside the school's building. "I do not understand... I thought he was with you?"

"He's not."

"What? Why?"

"Because he left, alright?" Natasha's voice rose and she came to a stop. "He got a hold of some liquor and left, I haven't seen him since. And from how he was acting, I don't know if I ever will again." Her voice shook now, and the sound of Loki's cruel voice rang in her ears.

You are nothing but a stupid little girl too afraid of the world around you to show yourself, so you manipulate others because you know no better. You were once no different than me, and you think making me a better person will change anything? This is basic sentimentality, this is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You think you live by a different code, something that makes you better than what you used to be, that makes up for the horrors...

The red in your ledger, your past, everything you've done... it will never go away...

"What do you mean, he left? I thought you were taking care of him!" Thor was distraught, once more looking like a kicked puppy left out in the rain. But Natasha was hard and cold, her skin thickened and felt nothing when she lashed out on Thor.

"I tried, Thor! I let him into my house, I let him stay with me through the night, I gave him everything I had! And you know what he did? He used everything I feared against me in the end, and left as if it didn't matter! You talk as if this were some kind of job assigned to me by you, but it wasn't. I fucking cared about him, too, and now I'm left alone as I always have been. So don't you fucking dare, try to tell me how I've done wrong!"

Now Tony's cheeky voice came around, maybe he's not the boy you think he is.

Natasha stared at the shock on Thor's face, hurt on so many levels for so many different reasons. "You mean to say... you guys are not...?" Kids in the hall were looking at them now, standing still in the center of a rush.

"Letting people in means getting hurt." Natasha swallowed the emotion she had shown, and felt her face level out and find composure. "I guess I had to learn the hard way."

Shaking herself from the memory, Natasha shut her eyes, wishing the people and world around her were not there. Loki had not shown up to school at all in the past week, and she hated the feeling she got when she thought about where he could be.

She knew too well.


Clint stood outside Natasha's front door for a few minutes, knowing too well she was definitely watching him through a crack in her curtains. Even though they were close, he rarely ever went into her house.

Natasha's home was like her mind- a strict sanctuary, not to be shared or public. He did not feel worried when turning the knob of her front door, and stepping inside. Clint had a mission.

The silence was chilling, the house much darker than the awake and alive world outside, all of the lights kept turned off. It was an eerie feeling, so empty, even though he knew Natasha was there, and she was simply waiting for him to find her.

Clint made his way up the staircase slowly, trying to ignore how the second floor of the house was only darker than first, with the exception of the thin line of light coming out from under her closed bedroom door.

He reached for the knob, exhaling when he opened the door.

Natasha sat on the edge of her bed, legs crossed underneath her, arms wrapped tightly around her abdomen. The only light came from the natural sun through the open curtains, pale and white, showing all of the dust particles suspended in air. She did not look up at him when Clint walked inside.

He stood there awkwardly, waiting for Natasha to turn to him and say something, anything, but no words came. She was completely still, eyes staring forward, no expression. Nothing bothered him more than seeing her like this.

With his jaw clenching in frustration, Clint pulled the chair away from the desk in the room, dragging it over the carpet before placing it to face her directly. He sat down, face stern, and arms crossed across his chest.

"Tasha." Was the only word that came from his lips, low and concerned, as a brother would be for a younger sister.

Natasha finally looked to her best friend, curled up on the edge of her bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes held so much in, dead yet flaring with what she was not saying aloud. She tried to block out the look on his face, the silence and understanding between them.

"I'm sorry," She muttered. "I'm sorry for doubting you guys."

Clint frowned, and leaned forward in his chair to let his elbows rest on his knees. "What are you talking about?"

It took another minute or so for her to force out more.

"You were all right. Loki was trouble... I should have just listened to you guys when you warned me. Followed orders."

Clint knew it was not the right time to tell her what really happened, not if the plan was supposed to work. It was not his place, or his job to owe her the truth. It belonged to someone different. Right now, what mattered most, was her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly, still keeping his eyes set on her even if she looked away then.

"Fine."

"Natasha." Her jaw clenched, and Clint could see her fingernails dig into the skin of her palm as her hands balled into fists. "We both know that isn't true."

"I've been compromised." She murmured, finally showing some sort of expression on her face, something between anguish and pain, something a fallen soldier would wear after a battle. "I wish I could just shut him out, shut out everyone. Stay cold and keep everything together like I used to. It would be easier..." The monotone of Natasha's voice told too much, her steady stare on the carpet. She could not move. "I want to hurt him, show him how much I don't care. How he didn't get to me. I wish I could hate him. But I can't. And somehow it's so much worse."

Clint was silent as Natasha opened up, and knew this was a time in life when his silence was dearly needed.

"I can't stop feeling." She whispered, shutting her eyes. "He changed everything. He made me make myself whole. I can hide it all I want, but I can't stop. It won't stop."

Moments passed as neither of them talked, and Natasha simply sat in the company her friend that she finally decided to trust. With what she had lost, she felt there was no part of her left to lose, anyway.

"Do you need anything?" Clint asked softly, after twenty minutes had passed.

Natasha shook her head, eyes still squeezed shut. "Time."

Clint nodded, and stood up from his chair, walking to where she sat. He crouched down a bit to reach her, and planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head, in the fiery curls that had not been brushed. It was in that moment that the two of them fell into the other, and Natasha hugged her best friend tightly.

Clint heard her soft "thank you," in the nape of his neck with her arms wound around his shoulders, holding him close to her.

When they finally let go, the two of them looked at each other with an understanding, with a respect, and he nodded with no words before walking back out of the door of her room. Clint had done what he knew he could only do for the girl, and it made him happy enough.

Now, he had a much bigger and different problem to tackle.


Loki felt carpet beneath his back, as he had the past few nights, with the exception of one hardwood floor. He groaned, trying to shift his body, but only feeling a constant pain in his skull. A glass bottle was still pressed to his palm, half empty, but he was so used to this feeling that it did not make much of a difference.

Voices were soft in a different room of the apartment, the aftermath of a party, people waking up, feeling either pain or embarrassment. Some did not even care.

But this boy, he would always feel.

There were still a couple black splotches in his vision, and he tried to sit up, but failed. It was easy enough to understand he was in a bedroom, there may have been a half dressed couple on the bed still sleeping. He hoped he had not been involved in that at all, and felt heavy when he realized he could not remember anything from the night before, no different from any other day this week.

Suddenly the voices in the other room picked up, and loud footsteps could be heard from the hall. Every hit made Loki's head pound harder, and too dazed to make any sound, he shut his eyes and tried to block it out.

But they only came louder, and much, much closer.

Soon enough he felt a hand on his chest, balling the fabric of his tee shirt into a fist, and yanking him up from the spot on the floor. Loki opened his eyes slowly, vision fogged up and hazy, to see the stony stare of Clint Barton standing over him.

"Get up." He said.


I'M BACKKK FROM THE ABYSS AND I FEEL TERRIBLE

I am so sorry it's taken so long to update, again, i feel really horrible about it. I didn't realize it had been three weeks. Lately I have not been capable of doing anything outside of school or the people around me, and the past weeks have literally been coming home from school, passing out, waking back up and doing all of my schoolwork, and then sleeping again and repeat. My mom thinks I might be getting mono. +some really wierd ass stuff has been happening in my life, like whoa I don't even know what to do. (Possibly a love interest? Which never happens?! WHAT DO I DO I WRITE LOVE STORIES I DON'T ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE THEM?!)

Also, I've taken up a strange habit of actually leaving my house and doing things?! WhaAat?

Anyway, chapter 27! ooooohooooooooo a cliffhanger! Review! Tell me how ya feeling. Please excuse any mistakes, I hurried to type and post if for y'all. Three more chapters left ;) Predictions! I will update as soon as possible!