On Boxing Day Chihiro woke with a clear mind and a purpose.
The easiest part of her plan would be quitting her job. The next step, breaking the news to her parents, would be more difficult. They would not understand her reasons for leaving Tokyo behind.
After an anxious morning, she finally found the courage to call her boss. Mr. Nishimura was in a meeting, but he called her back before lunch.
Chihiro apologised for her absence and used ill health as an excuse. She did not feel guilty about saying it, as there was some truth in the statement. But her voice wavered as she told her boss that she was leaving Tokyo to live in the countryside. It was another half-truth, and this time she did feel guilty about the silence on the other end of the phone. Chihiro knew that her boss had not anticipated this. Mr. Nishimura thanked her for her hard work, and kindly offered to give her a good reference and a job if she decided to return to Tokyo.
When the call ended, she briefly reconsidered her choice. No, there was no way she was going back! She wanted to leave office work behind, forever if possible. A bigger task now awaited her: talking to her parents. She had already planned out dozens of conversations in her head, but she knew things would not go so smoothly. Over dinner that evening her appetite vanished.
"Something on your mind?" her father asked between slurps of ramen.
Chihiro placed her chopsticks back on their holder and exhaled before speaking.
"Yeah. I wanted to tell you that I'm not going back to live in Tokyo."
Her parents froze in shock.
"What… where are you going? Do you want to stay here?" Yuuko asked.
Chihiro shook her head. "No, I'm going to travel around Japan for a while."
Now her parents were upset. She looked them in the eyes, feeling their confusion and worry.
"But what about your job?" Akio asked. "Your apartment? Your life in Tokyo?"
"I need time to figure some things out. Don't worry, I have heaps of money saved. I can take care of myself."
"But… sweetie…" her mother protested. "You shouldn't travel alone! There's all sorts of weirdos out there! You can live here with us for as long as you want!"
Chihiro smiled reassuringly at her parents. "I'm not afraid of any weirdos, mum. We live in one of the safest countries in the world. I can call you every night if you're worried about me."
"That's not the point-"
"Mum. Dad. I need this. If I could travel with someone I would, but everyone is living their own lives. I need to walk my own path."
Yuuko pursed her lips in disapproval, while Akio gave Chihiro a pleading look.
"I suppose we can't change your mind," her mother grumbled. "I can see you've got your heart set on this. But I want you to contact us every day. If you don't let us know where you are each evening we will send the police to find you."
Chihiro had anticipated her parents - her mother in particular - would impose conditions like this.
"I promise I'll call."
Her parents stared at her in frustration and helplessness.
"Lighten up!" she said. "I'll be fine! I know I'll make some friends along the way."
#
Chihiro left her parents' house two days later. Instead of driving back to Gifu to return the car, she drove north-east to Tokyo. Before travelling around Japan, she wanted to collect her things from the apartment. She had arranged to stay with Hana for the night, but it wouldn't feel right to go back home and not see Satoshi. They agreed to meet for dinner at their favourite Unagi restaurant.
When she arrived at the apartment in the afternoon, Chihiro got to work packing her things into boxes and suitcases. She let Momo out of the cage to stretch her wings, and the bird was grateful for it: Satoshi probably forgot to let her out. Chihiro made a mental note to ask him about re-homing their canary.
Once her personal possessions had been packed into boxes, she arranged for them to be delivered to her parents' house. She would split the apartment and furniture with Satoshi later, but neither was in a rush to organise the divorce.
After a nap on the couch, Chihiro caught a train to the restaurant. She was the first to arrive, and the waiter greeted her like an old friend. He led her to a private table in the far corner, next to a decorative fish tank. Chihiro began having second thoughts about choosing the restaurant: she had so many mixed feelings about it now that she and Satoshi had separated.
When he arrived, late from work as usual, Chihiro stood up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Satoshi smiled awkwardly at first, but after ordering dinner and drinks they both loosened up a bit. They discussed their plans for the New Year over a nice sake.
"I'm going on a pilgrimage," Chihiro said. "I couldn't tell my parents though, they already think I'm crazy. I told them I'm going backpacking."
"That makes sense to me, you've always had an interest in the spirits. But you should really tell your parents the truth. They would probably worry less if they knew you were hanging out at temples instead of hostels!"
"Yeah, well, they've never really agreed with my beliefs. They've always said that religion was for superstitious fools and old people. I'll tell them when I have things planned out. How about you, Satoshi? Any plans for 2017?"
"There have been rumours that I will get promoted next year," he said. "So that means more work for me!" He laughed dryly.
The topic of Satoshi's workload remained a point of contention, but Chihiro shrugged it off. She was not here to pick a fight.
"I know it's what you want, and I'm happy for you. You've worked hard, and you deserve to be rewarded."
"Thanks, Chi. That means a lot."
Chihiro poured Satoshi more sake, and he returned the favour.
"You know, if you ever want a holiday, you can always join me," said Chihiro.
"And if you ever want to move back to Tokyo, well, you know where I live," Satoshi replied.
They shared a sad smile, and raised a glass to the New Year.
#
After a night on Hana's couch and some slightly burnt toast for breakfast, Chihiro returned the red hatchback to the hire company. She paled at the final fee, but having her own car for a while had been worth every yen. Chihiro was already considering purchasing a car for her pilgrimage, depending on the weather and her health. Travelling in the middle of winter was going to be difficult.
With only a rucksack of food, clothes, and camping gear, she walked to the nearest train station. She began her journey with a lightness in her heart and a spring in her step.
She transferred to a train on the Ome line that took her west, out of Tokyo. Mt. Mitake seemed like as good a place as any to start. Besides, she wanted to talk to a certain fox spirit that lived on the mountain.
#
Hi folks. I'm embarrassed that it's been over a month since I posted anything. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
I struggled with this chapter because it is between story events, and it's short. I know readers prefer longer chapters but I can't seem to do it. In the end I had to post this chapter as it is so that I could move on.
I also had a really difficult July. One of my friends was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and at the time I thought I dealt with it OK but I really didn't. My creativity evaporated and I struggled to find purpose in my life and work. But I am here and I want to keep going with this fic.
