Chapter 28
The woman's, if anyone would call her that, eyes glistened over the mug as she scrutinized his figure. She was examining him. As though he were the one in the cage as if he were some sort of lab rat. He hated visiting the jail when it was Kirishima behind those bars, but now that it was someone he didn't want to see? It was a totally different kind of anger. Not the "I'm going to fix this" or "how dare they" anger, but the kind that ran through his fingers and danced down the trails his veins made for it.
"Should I say it? Oh, dear, is she dead? Already? I'm sure she should've had at least two more hours." A curt smile on her face and a soft-quick glance towards the clock. "She only has that many hours left to live and yet here you are spending time with me."
Katsuki glared a crossed the room, wondering if his revelation would startle her or motivate her, "She's not dead. In fact, all three of your targets are alive, healthy, and safe."
The girl laughed, "For now. That's how it always is. The woes of a hero. So, why the visit?"
He glanced towards the clock on the wall, every minute that was ticking down every minute he could've been with his team, his classmates; his friends. And instead, he was sitting there with her, listening to her lecture him about how he was going to fail. "I'm a hero I don't have time to fail." The chair screeched back.
"Where are you going? Weren't you going to ask me how long someone can survive outside the distance of my quirk?"
He glanced towards them. No. He was going to trust Doctor Gloria. He pulled the door open, Katsuki glanced towards her screeching as he walked out, anything to get his attention for a few more moments. He shut the door.
Doctor Gloria and Aizawa may never have met but they both were right on one thing that he was starting to realize: He needed to save himself. And that started with not hunting down what had caused him so many problems. Katsuki ran a hand through his hair, keying the lock on his car and starting the engine. His mind wandering to the night where Uraraka had pulled him from the burning vehicles. He took a breath, wrapping his hands around the wheel, and throwing his car in gear. It would take time. He punched in the number for Todoroki.
"You better not be in a creek. The only reason you call anymore is when you're in trouble."
Katsuki ended the call. That was a bad decision. He should've figured it out on his own. The phone rang again. He didn't want to answer it. But he had called him first, his hand reached swiping the phone up, "Look-"
"How many ambulances do I need to bring with me? Tell me you didn't cripple the guy."
"Half-and-Half listen, dammit!" He snapped, ready to hang the phone up again. Todoroki fell silent, likely still calculating how many ambulances he would need, his voice fell quiet, "I need help."
"Hey, are you really alright?"
Katsuki rolled his eyes, glancing towards traffic in front of him wishing it would move faster, "Obviously not. That's why I called."
Todoroki shuffled, a quite mutter to Elyon of where he was going before the sound of a door clicked, "Where are you? Do I need burn supplies, bandages?"
Katsuki sighed, "It's not physical."
Todoroki was silent, probably several thoughts battling in his head for dominance. Until it made sense why he would call him up instead of either of the two had been at his side through his worst times, "Drive to my house I'll be outside. And when you get here I want to drive."
"Don't-"
Todoroki hung up the phone. Sure enough, Todoroki was standing outside when he arrived, he moved to the driver side door.
"I'm driving." He tightened his hands on the wheel.
"Katsuk-"
"It gives me the feeling of control, alright!" He glared up towards Todoroki, with one eyebrow raised. He didn't even need to say anything the look on his face was all he needed, you asked me for help. Katsuki unbuckled the seatbelt, moving, reluctantly, to the passenger seat. "Only this once."
Todoroki nodded, seeming to ignore his grumbling, "So, what's the problem?"
Katsuki let the passenger side window support him, formulating his thoughts. The window began moving, "What the-" He glared towards Todoroki who just shrugged. He was trying to say that he couldn't help if he didn't know what the problem was. "Give me a minute okay. I might've changed my mind."
Todoroki sighed, "Look, I know you handle things in your own way, but it's very rare for you to ask for help. This time you need it. Assume I already know and just admit it."
He rolled his eyes, glancing back towards the city moving at its own pace outside the window. The nightlife was quiet with people that strolled and danced through the streets, "I don't know, okay. Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. Little things will bring things back that I don't want to know about. Raiz is alive, but that doesn't change the feeling in my chest. I keep going back to nights that were some of the best nights of my life and twisting them. I look at Raiz and think about holding his body in my arms knowing there was nothing I could do to save him. And then I wake up convinced I'm covered in the dirt I used to bury him. I think of the night I saw Uraraka on the edge of her balcony and feel my hand miss before-" He glanced towards the city, the people seeming to fade away and the town's lights taking precedence. There was a time when he would be able to stop and enjoy the lights, at least their existence. But now it was a sign to stay away or possibility a gateway to another memory he didn't want, "Forget this. It's stupid. Drive us back."
He glanced towards Todoroki, a solemn look on his face as though he were contemplating which wire to clip on the bomb that he knew was going to explode either way, "Katsuki, you've got PTSD."
Katsuki swerved his head to look at Todoroki, "I'm not that weak."
"It has nothing with weakness. Or strength in-fact. It's normal for a person who's been through a stressful situation." Todoroki shrugged, glancing in the rearview mirror, "It just happens." He was silent for a moment before speaking, "We both know you know I've been through the wringer with my fair share of bad situations, it's one of the main reasons you would come to me instead."
Katsuki ran a hand through his hair, it wasn't like he was wrong, but it didn't necessarily mean that he wanted him to be right. He glanced towards the barren building sitting in front of his car, he unlocked the glove box, pulling his gloves out.
"You won't need that."
He glanced at Todoroki, this was a shady building if he had ever seen one.
"It's the back. The front is a lot friendlier. Time to trust me."
Katsuki rolled his eyes, ready to turn the car back around, the only thing currently stopping him was the fact that Todoroki had his car keys in his hands and was already half-way to the door of the shady building. He followed Todoroki's voice down the pathways of the building, the insides seeming like a pre-school, smiley faces, rainbows, and various other elements lined the walls. He rolled his eyes he thought Todoroki knew better than to recruit him on daycare duty.
"Is Selene in?"
A woman at the reception nodded, standing up and leading them back behind the counter. Katsuki allowed Todoroki to lead for once, watching his every move. He seemed unnaturally relaxed in this environment, as though it hadn't suddenly shifted from being a dump. Todoroki put a hand on the door, almost as if hesitating, he glanced towards him, "Remember you came to me asking for help."
"Why would I forget?" He snapped as Todoroki pushed the door open. Behind the door was a room thoroughly decorated with couches, a miniature-trampoline, and a desk. The woman who sat behind the desk looked up from some of her paperwork, flipping it over and sliding it to the side before greeting them, concern lingered in her eyes.
"Welcome." She smiled
Todoroki nodded, motioning for Katsuki to follow him. Katsuki grumbled following along towards Todoroki who sat on the couch in front of Selene. "I'm not the one here to see you today."
Selene nodded, a glance towards him, she stood, "Hello, my name is Selene, I'm a professional therapist."
"I don't need to be fixed."
Selene shook her head, "Therapists aren't necessarily for fixing people, but helping people learn to cope. We're sort of like life-teachers."
Katsuki rolled his eyes and sent a glance towards half-and-half who was already exiting the room, "He'll likely be back in twenty minutes. The kids like to see him. A survivor of a lot, he seems to be doing well and he also gives both the kids and the adults hope. But I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, especially if you've gone to him for help."
Katsuki crossed his arms, and leaned back, "Assuming I'm here for that are you going to keep babbling or tell me what the first step is?"
"Realize you have a problem, then decide to deal with it. It's not going to be fast, and even when you feel as you may think better, it'll be there. But it won't be as severe. And since you're here, I'll have you know you're on the right track."
Katsuki glanced towards the clock, if Todoroki didn't have the keys he would've darted from this place already. It was out-of-character for him to spill his guts out to Todoroki, or anyone in that matter, but to a stranger? Who wanted him to do it on a drop of a dime? That wasn't happening.
Selene nodded, "It'll take time. I only have general knowledge that's already out in the public, but you have to tell me your opinion and perspective of it all or it doesn't help me much. It's clear to me that you won't honestly tell me much in one or two sessions, but progress doesn't happen immediately either, I want you to keep coming back." She pulled out a calendar, flipping through the pages, and notebook paper. "Could you write on the notebook paper which days are right for you? And I'll figure out how to schedule you in."
He shook his head picking up the pen unsure why he was doing this or why he had bothered to bring himself to this place in the first place.
"Remember therapy isn't the only answer on how to deal with things, but it does help by providing a guide." Selene continued, "And don't assume, for shorter terms, that I'm cure-all. I'm not. What works for one or two people may not work for many others."
He nodded, wondering why he was letting this woman continue on her explanation. He was a hero, he knew what happened in most therapy locations. It was part of the job to know. Katsuki ran a hand through his hair, "Look I'm just been having a bad time right now. It's a lot to explain."
Selene raised an eyebrow, "It's literally my job to listen."
The words seemed to flow out both naturally and unnaturally at times, mixing together at changing lengths and speeds as Selene spent the next several moments listening to him describe to her his literal life's story from the very beginning to the current moment. After he finished Selene nodded setting the notebook down.
"Todoroki's right, PTSD actually isn't that uncommon in our society. I did my thesis on trauma in a hero-based society, using the consideration of how we used to live. Trauma is about even, considerably worse, but very common in many heroes, some you wouldn't even suspect. But also another problem with what you've just told me, when was the last time that you did something other than work?"
Katsuki glanced towards the clock on the wall, more than twenty minutes had passed, Todoroki hadn't come back yet.
"He's likely still playing with the kids. Knowing him he'll wait for you by the lobby instead of by the door. Because that's what he would want you to do for him."
He nodded, glancing back to Selene, "I went to court a couple months ago."
Selene raised an eyebrow, "And?"
"The beach right after."
"Which is not the best example, while a good start, it ends poorly." Selene shuffled in her desk pulling several magazines out, "Downtown living, clubs, bars, and the like. Check some out this weekend at the very least." She slid them towards him.
Katsuki sighed picking them up in his hands, "I can't. It won't help if I'm spending all day worrying about Kirishima and Raiz."
"Take them with you."
"Kirishima is on house arrest."
"From what I know. Not for along. Say hi to Lawyer Henderick's for me." Selene glanced at the door as a knocking followed.
Todoroki stuck his head in, "He hasn't burned anything has he?"
Selene laughed, shaking her head, "No, we were just talking."
Todoroki nodded, before a swift glance towards Katsuki, "downtown nightlife?"
"I recommended it for him. You'll have to be the one to talk him into going."
Todoroki nodded, sent a quick apology for intruding so close to closing time, and ushered them back to the car.
Katsuki slid into the passenger seat, Todoroki holding out the keys as though he were relinquishing a hostage, "It's okay. Just drive us back."
Todoroki nodded, keying the engine and driving back towards his home. Todoroki slid him his phone, "Call Uraraka."
He didn't have to be told twice, he had already been considering calling her, attempting to push it to the back of his mind, but it was there constantly.
"Hello?" She sounded okay, her voice had more clarity than it originally did. He was half-ready to breath a sigh of relief. "Katsuki?"
"Yeah, it's me. I'm on my way back, I'll be there shortly. I just have to drop Todoroki off at his place first."
Uraraka was silent for a moment, likely considering that it was odd that he was with Todoroki, but also considering the fact that he had his own roundabout way of checking on his classmates, "Is everything alright?"
He pondered what to answer her, his reflection grimacing at him for even considering a lie. She would know. And he didn't want to lie to her. There was no reason to hide anything from her. "It's going to be. Todoroki said to call."
He could hear Uraraka's smile in her voice, "It's something you tell in person, but I'm sure he just wanted to relieve you of some stress. I talked to Lawyer Hendrick and he arranged a lot for us. Kirishima's free."
Katsuki let his head fall into his hands. Finally. Finally. From the moment Kirishima was dragged in was too long. The amount of time that it had taken them to fix the problem was devastating. But now Kirishima was free. "We're going out tonight, drinks on me."
Todoroki through the car in park, pulling out his phone, "Tell her we'll meet them there."
And that's how ten minutes later they found themselves at one of the more exclusive bars. It was empty, but it was a good place to start. For someone who had just won back his well-deserved freedom and another who was winning back his life from his past, it was a good start of places to go. Kirishima set a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, man, I may have not wanted to talk, but thanks for staying by my side."
He let a soft smile escape, one that only long-time friends ever got to see, "I've always had your back, as you've had mine."
Kirishima nodded, moving back towards Raiz on the dance floor. Katsuki glanced towards Kirishima and Raiz, smiling from ear-to-ear on their first experience out since everything had been ripped from their hands months ago only to be returned by a miracle.
Katsuki moved to the bar, he had a promise to keep, "Two's good."
The bartender slid the drinks down to him, Katsuki slid the second drink to the seat next to him, "Like I promised. We won." He tilted the drink back, slamming it down with a tip.
A warm, soft, alive hand slid into his, "Care for a quick dance?"
Katsuki pulled Uraraka into his arms. He must've known from the moment he set eyes on her that this would be the woman he would want to lure him into dance for the rest of his life. He was exactly where he wanted to be. Surrounded by friends, the woman of his dreams so tight in his arms she couldn't get any closer. Kirishima shooting him a toothy smile, Raiz nearby, alive. The past was riddled with his regrets and monsters, memories and humans both, but the world could never make him regret the people he chose to surround him. Uraraka slipped her hands into his own, her warmth directly against his own, he let her lead, spinning him around the dancefloor. And damn did she look gorgeous, her disheveled hair, unkempt clothes, and unsteady feet. And she was beautiful. If he ever had to use a woman to describe what the future should look like, it would and always had been her.
"Uraraka, be mine."
"What? I couldn't hear you over the music" She looked him in the eyes.
"I said be mine."
"What?" The galaxy shone in her eyes.
"I said-"
Her smile twitched, "I know, I just liked it a lot." She paused glancing this way and that, "Honestly, I just wanted to hear your voice." She pulled closer to him, landing a peck on his cheek. It was a strange feeling knowing that his future currently took a physical form that he could grasp in his arms. But it wasn't wrong. It was hopeful. Electricity ran through his arms in the thought of the future. He didn't have time to regret his decisions, he would be too busy moving forwards.
