What a mess, what a mystery we've made

Of love and other simple things,

Learning to forgive,

Even when it wasn't our mistake.

I question every human

Who won't look in my eyes,

Scars left on my heart formed patterns in my mind.


"…I love you Mercedes Jones." Sam said softly.

He watched her body stiffen as she lifted her head to gawk at him. Sam didn't know how Mercedes would reply to his confession, but he had a pretty good guess if her eyes widening in shock and her confused face was any indication. Christ.

Sam wanted to kick himself for blurting the words out loud because he had now put them both in a very awkward situation. He was an idiot, and he should've kept his mouth shut. There was no way that this was going to turn out in his favor. Not to say that he didn't love her, because he'd be lying to everyone and himself if he denied that. It was just not the time to be putting the weight of his love on her.

…Even though it was there anyway. God, he loved her so much.

What Sam meant was that he never actually said I love you so directly since the mental break. It had always been hinted at or implied. If she had any doubts about how Sam felt, well, they'd have to be squashed at this point. Because it was out in the open and tangible and very real. The ball was in her court now. Mercedes could do one or two things: Either she would flip out like Sam expected her to and swear up and down he didn't mean it—which was bullshit—or she would say she loved him too. The latter was probably not going to happen.

It wasn't that Mercedes didn't love him; Sam knew full good and well she did, but at the moment she didn't realize it. Mercedes couldn't realize her love for anyone else because he was positive that she didn't even love herself. So Sam just put her in a lose-lose situation. God.

Did he regret saying I love you to her? Hell no. What he regretted was saying it when it wasn't the right time.

In a way though, this was Mercedes' fault. She came into the kitchen with his clothes on smelling like him and acting domestic, it felt so easy and real to him—how else did she expect Sam to react? When he saw her being the confident seductress he remembered so well, he couldn't help it. Sam went back in time to when they were both still naïve and callow to the world around them. When saying I love you didn't end in repercussions and believing that they had all the time in the world to explore each other. Even though they didn't anymore. They only had nine days left.

Their situation was really depressing. Sam only had nine days left to be with Mercedes and she didn't love him. In retrospect, it wasn't reassuring that the woman he was going to go lay down his life for wasn't ready to say I love you to him. In fact, Sam could see Mercedes panicking right before his eyes because she didn't know how to respond to him. She just stared up at him, obviously at a loss for words.

"You don't have to respond, Mercy. I just needed to say it." Sam whispered, looking at her intensely.

She didn't know what to say. Mercedes opened and closed her mouth a few times before sighing. "You can't love me, Sam."

Well, it's not like I didn't see this coming. Sam rolled his eyes and loosened his grip on her waist, backing away. Mercedes dropped her arms from around him, looking disappointed and he knew that his reaction must have hurt her feelings. Sam ran a hand over his eyes.

"Mercy, please don't do this today," He begged, watching her fidget with her fingers, "Please."

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"No…you don't have to apologize." He said, turning away to start cooking again.

His actions were far from comforting at the moment, but he couldn't be her shoulder to cry on tonight. He just couldn't. If Sam wanted to look assertive during dinner at all this evening he could not be a sniveling mess. How he was acting right now was a stretch. And he knew saying I love you must have been quite the bombshell for her, but it really wasn't for him. Loving Mercedes was one of the only things he was still sure of in this world. All Sam wanted was for Mercedes to know that there was no way he was ever going to be outright angry with her because he loved her. If he was being a dick, then Sam wanted Mercedes to take solace in the fact that he loved her. It was as simple as that.

The other Elites weren't flagrant with their feelings at all. The only emotions they displayed freely was anger and lust. They were probably one of the most detached creatures of this galaxy. Sam was not an accurate representation of an Elite. Neither was Damien. That was why they were in this mess to begin with. But if Sam wanted the others to help him, he wasn't helping his case by acting pitiful.

Mercedes cleared her throat. "No Sam, what I mean is…we need to talk."

Sam took out some vegetables from his fridge, grabbed a knife to chop them up and nodded. "Okay, talk."

"Well," She said, sounding distressed, "I don't know how to put this."

Sam looked at her. She was staring at something far in the distance and running her fingers through her hair. God, Mercedes was gorgeous. For a moment he let himself get distracted by her loveliness. The way her small delicate hands moved through her soft curls. The same soft curls that were getting longer and longer and now rested in the middle of her curvy back. He trailed his eyes down to the alluring cleavage peeking out from his flannel shirt…and he knew how she tasted there… Sam felt something sharp dig into his skin and realized that he was about to cut his fingers. He looked away.

"Okay," Mercedes started, completely oblivious to his ogling, "You know how this morning you asked what was wrong and I told you that I needed some time to think before I say anything?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah well, I needed some time to think before because earlier my mom and I talked about stuff that was really…enlightening. And one of the things we talked about was you."

Now Sam was curious. "Me?"

Mercedes nodded. "Mmm hmm."

"What about me?"

"Oh nothing bad or anything," She replied, waving a hand in dismissal at the concerned look on his face, "Just…your feelings regarding me. My mom said the same thing you did a couple minutes ago."

"That I loved you?"

"Yeah," Mercedes said, turning her head away from him as if those words were causing physical harm to her, "Well, it was implied more than anything. And I…I don't know. I didn't believe her. I don't believe you."

Sam's expression dropped. He could not do this today. He really couldn't.

"Mercy please—"

"I wasn't really listening to her," Mercedes went on, ignoring him, "I think… I think that I didn't believe her because I was too busy thinking about when I was gonna get the next opportunity to purge again."

Sam froze. He stopped trying to cook altogether and gaped at Mercedes. She was staring at her lap intently, and not chancing a look at him. She probably didn't want to see the disbelief on his face. But how could he not be surprised? He thought she was going to stop. At least he thought she was going to try to stop! That was Mrs. Jones' rule. If Mercedes ate properly then she could 'spend part of Christmas Break with him'. In what way was Mercedes supposed to be under his protection during break if she didn't follow her mother's rules?

By bowing down to her eating disorder, she was putting her mom's trust in jeopardy. Something they both desperately needed if this half-ass plan for her survival was going to work. Mercedes was indirectly putting herself in more danger than bulimia was. Sam's face turned grave and he was fully prepared to address this to her before she spoke again.

"But I didn't want to purge until mom told me that dad cheated on her."

"What?!"

Oh my God. He didn't know what to say. It was one surprise after another with Mercedes. Did all of this really happen six hours ago? She shook her head and scoffed, focused on the distance in front of her. Sam smelled salt and was wildly confused until he saw Mercedes wiping her eyes. She was crying.

"And mom acted like it was nothing. She said that he cheated on her and if I wanted the details I could call him later today. That was the last thing I needed to hear. I thought that I was going to be sad after she told me but I wasn't. I was mad. I'm mad now. It pisses me off that she would just say that like it wouldn't have an emotional impact me. Like if I wanted to know the dirty details than I could call him."

"But why would I want to call him?!" She cried, the exclamation breaking his heart, "Why would I ever want to talk to him again after what he did to her? Why? I can't. I don't."

"Mercedes…" Sam tried to take a step toward her before she stopped him by cowering from him. As much as he was trying to keep his distance and be emotionally detached from Mercedes today, that stung. She wrapped her arms around herself, sniffing. Those should be my arms. But she didn't want physical comfort from him, so the only thing Sam could do to support Mercedes was being near her.

"…After that I couldn't eat breakfast anymore. The food would've came right back up if I had tried. I was absolutely disgusted. Sick to my stomach. All I could think about is when I would purge again. If I was too late…and then mom asked me about my disorder again. God, I wish she would stop doing that. She doesn't understand at all."

Sam got it then. Mercedes was venting. She wasn't speaking directly to him; she was just letting it out. She should still let me hold her though. Sam felt absolutely useless and seeing as he was an ex-Elite—a being created to serve humans and especially his Promise—he hated it. He didn't know what to do and seeing her in such obvious despair made his heart ache. He went back to preparing dinner.

"Then somehow your brought up, and she's saying 'your parents aren't the only ones that love you' and my stomach is about to heave. It's not fair for her to throw you up in my face. We're different. This is so much more different from everything else. I don't want her to taint it and swirl my issues in with my relationship…I won't let them…"

Them?

"I pushed that back in my head. I thought I was gonna get the chance to sort through that mess later. I got myself together. I overlooked it, because you were with me. My apprehension blew away…Though I was afraid that you would taste my sadness when you kissed me in the car."

"Nonetheless, I thought I was going to be okay until Quinn. She really put things into perspective." Mercedes chuckled darkly.

Why was Quinn being brought up? Sam couldn't stay silent anymore. "What does Quinn have to do with this?"

"We walked to first hour together, remember? And when we did, we had a little heart-to-heart along the way."

Sam already didn't like the sound of this. Please don't tell me she has something to do with Mercedes being upset. "What did you two have a 'heart-to-heart' about?"

"At first, we talked about her and Damien," Mercedes answered, sounding far off, "But then the conversation turned to you."

Of course it did.

"Quinn still loves you, y'know. It's so obvious…"

Sam sighed. If he would have known that Quinn was up to her old tricks again he would've walked Mercedes to class this morning himself. And he knew that whatever she was about to tell him was going to piss him off. The dinner was going to be a disaster with Quinn there. He wasn't going to be incapable of holding his tongue with her in his presence. How was he supposed to be focused this evening if the whole time he was glaring daggers at Quinn? Sam was definitely going to have to have a talk with her.

"She went on and on about how I stole you away from her until I told her to get the fuck off my back—" Mercedes stopped at the sound of Sam's laughter and smiled. His smile. The kind of smile that didn't hide anything behind it.

"You're laughing now, but at the time it wasn't funny at all. I was exasperated. And then she just went off on me. My reaction seems so stupid and melodramatic now…" Mercedes pulled a face and looked ashamed.

"Well what did she say?" Sam asked.

"She said that the only reason you were going out with me was because you have a hero complex." Mercedes said quietly, staring at her lap again.

The wooden spoon Sam was using snapped in his hand and he blanked for a moment. Sam tried to pacify it, but waves of anger were radiating off of him almost instantaneously. Mercedes didn't notice Sam losing his grip on reality because she was still staring at the floor. And she didn't hear the spoon in his hand snap because she was too busy trying to tell him the rest of her conversation with Quinn. The way she was sunken in on herself, along the abuse she was putting on her lips by biting them made something tighten in Sam's stomach. And it wasn't lust. He felt like his heart had sunk to his knees.

And he was furious. Oh God he was fucking pissed. He couldn't say that he didn't expect this out of Quinn, but at this point she was crossing the line. Sam had let a lot of her shit slide because she was Damien's Promised One and he couldn't disrespect that, but now that she had disrespected his Promise and hurt her—well, it was a different situation. He couldn't, wouldn't let that go unpunished.

Mercedes looked at the wall to her left and bit her lip. "And then she said that once you fulfilled whatever purpose you have with me, you'd leave me for someone else. You'll get tired of my bullshit and trade up for someone that has some confidence."

Sam counted to thirty twice in an attempt to calm his breathing down. Mercedes still wasn't looking at him. He didn't know what she was thinking about his lack of verbal response. If Mercedes took a look at him now she would've stopped talking.

"Everything she said up to that point didn't upset me, until that that did. It hit too close to home, y'know? I don't have confidence like most girls my age do, and it's still hard to believe that you want to be with me of all people. I'm waiting for you to realize that I'm not what you really want and 'trade up', I guess." Mercedes took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes.

"But I don't want you to want anyone but me Sam. I'm just so afraid of that inevitability that I feel like I'm waiting for you to leave me. I hate it. I hate feeling this way and it seems like no matter how many steps I take forward I'm still ten steps behind where I need to be. I guess what Quinn said made me…lose it a bit."

Sam had a terrible feeling that he knew what all of this was leading up to. It made his heart sink to his feet. And he was still fucking pissed. Of course he didn't want Mercedes doubting his feelings for her. He was never ever going to leave Mercedes for anyone else. Why would he want to? Sam had Mercedes and he loved her. He loved her. Sam was made forMercedes and Mercedes alone. He didn't think of other women like he thought of Mercedes. It was hard to explain, but it was like each and every one of the other women around him didn't have faces. Sam was incapable of wanting anyone but Mercedes. All he saw was her. Didn't she know that?

If only she would look at him right now. His love and adoration for her was clearly displayed on his features. She was perfection. Again, he didn't know what to say. And even if he did, she didn't believe him no matter what he said. Sam didn't know how to get through to her. Though he did know that whatever was going to come out of her mouth next needed to be heard.

Mercedes hopped off the counter beside him and walked over to the sink, as if reliving her actions. "I just... I relapsed. I couldn't help it and the worst part is I don't think I regret it. If I could do the whole thing over it would've ended up the same way. I hate to say it but it's true. I can't stop."

She said the last part with difficulty, and for the first time in almost ten minutes, Mercedes looked at Sam. Her eyes implored him to understand. His eyes searched hers, and he wasn't surprised to see them watery with tears again. The saddest part was, Sam knew that it wasn't that she couldn't stop, but rather, she didn't want to stop.

Sam took a step toward her again but stopped when he saw her backing away. So much for trying to be detached. Who the hell was he kidding? It was pitiful, really. Samuel Evans, ninety-something year old ex-immortal and could've-been Elitist Council member, reduced to putty in the hands of a pretty, brown eyed seventeen year old girl with self-esteem issues.

And he loved her more than he had ever loved anything in his life.

"You say you love me," Mercedes stated, "But how can you possibly love someone that hates themself? You can't love someone incapable of reciprocating the feeling. You don't deserve that. You say you love me and…and I'm confused because I can't love you. But all I ever think about is you and your smile and your lips and how it feels to be in your arms. All I ever want is to be around you. I love kissing you and holding your hand and sleeping with you at night. I love seeing you before I fall asleep and when I wake up in the morning. And I'm scared because I don't know what that means and I don't want to hurt you by calling it something it's not."

Sam was stunned. He already had a whole speech planned in his head, but this wiped the words from his mind. He was confused. And Mercedes was starting to doubt herself by his lack of response.

"I sorry," She apologized, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry that I keep doing this to you when you already have enough on your plate—"

Mercedes was still trying to apologize—needlessly—before she was cut off by Sam's embrace. He crushed her in his arms like she loved, and she stopped talking, inhaling deeply.

She didn't say she loved him but she did say that she loved being with him. Sam could live with that. For now.


"When are they supposed to be here?" Mercedes asked, walking into the dining room to set the table.

Sam started turning off the burners on the stove and checked the clock across from him. "I have no idea. Damien is supposed to give us a warning."

"You really make me feel at ease when you call it a 'warning'," Mercedes yelled from the next room over.

"I can hear your sarcasm from here."

"Yeah well whatever," She said. Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm just gonna—gonna go change now. Tell me when they're here!"

"Okay." Sam replied, watching his front door.

They were both on edge. It was normal for Mercedes to be nervous considering her ignorant she was to Elites, but Sam's anxiety was for a different reason altogether. As always, it considered her safety. That was all he cared about. And he knew that the others were coming to help—supposedly—but that didn't mean that was all they wanted. Sam knew that Jonathan, Paul, and Felix were coming. Who else was coming was the question. And what would they want? Paul, John and Felix were okay Elites from what Sam remembered. He wasn't too concerned about them.

Sam tried to uncover more information this morning from Damien, and of course he made the process difficult. Not only that, but Damien also wouldn't tell him if he had already disclosed everything about their kind to Quinn yet. At this point, Sam didn't care. As far as Quinn was concerned, if she didn't know already, she'd know by tonight. He just didn't want her causing problems like she was prone to do. He was going to have to talk to her anyway for what she did to Mercedes. Because if Sam told Damien to check his girl, he wouldn't.

The atmosphere around him shifted, and he knew that Damien and Quinn had arrived. Speak of the devil.

Sam opened the front door before they could knock. "When are the others supposed to be here?"

"Well hello to you too!" Damien greeted him cheerfully, wrapping an arm around Quinn's waist and pushing past Sam to get inside.

"I don't think now is the time for formalities." Sam said, scowling at Damien.

Quinn looked around the room before smiling. "Your house is beautiful Sam." She stared at him for a moment. "Where's Mercedes?"

Like you give a fuck. "She's getting ready for dinner."

"Oh," Quinn responded, looking thoughtful, "Do you think she needs help?"

"Not from you she doesn't." Sam answered, not trying to keep the venom from his tone.

Damien sighed. "Tsk, tsk. Someone sounds upset. What happened, Samuel? Mercy put you on a dry spell?"

Sam resisted growling. You're mad at Quinn, not Damien. He's always an asshole. "Your lady's up to her old tricks."

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been talking shit to Mercedes. Does this morning ring a bell?"

Quinn was silent.

"And let me guess," Damien asked uninterestedly, "Now the big bad Sam is going to make it all better. What are planning to do Sam? Patronize Quinn?"

"I'm planning to check her. You'd do the same thing."

Damien rolled his eyes and rubbed Quinn's shoulder comfortingly. She smiled at him. "Don't you think that Mercedes should be doing the 'checking'? It's her drama, right? It's not your place to interfere."

"It is when the drama involves me and consequently hurts Mercedes." Sam was getting angrier and angrier by the second. Here Quinn was, acting innocent and calm as you please, while Mercedes was practically falling apart just two hours ago. And Damien was not making it any better.

"What, so you're going to fight bullying with bullying? I thought you were better than that Samuel." Damien said, sounding disappointed.

You are so full of shit.

Quinn bit her lip. "I wouldn't call me having a conservation with Mercedes bullying, Sam."

Sam shook his head. "You practically terrorized her, Quinn. Mercedes told me what happened. You got mad at her for something that is entirely not her fault and then said I was going to leave her when you know that's bullshit."

"Did Mercedes tell you how she cussed me out before that?" Quinn asked suddenly, pursing her lips, "Huh? Did she tell you?"

Sam nodded. "Yup. She told you to get the fuck off her back. And I don't blame her."

Damien made an audible sniffing noise. "Whatever you cooked smells good Sammy-kins. Does Mercy approve?"

Sam's face turned dark. "I don't know what you're getting at Damien but whatever it is, shut up."

"So when Mercedes is rude it's okay, but when I respond it's not?" Quinn asked, ignoring Damien's interruption.

"I don't care what you say or how you twist the truth. We all have enough to deal with without you starting drama. Take your BS somewhere else." Sam retorted.

Damien's eyes flashed. "Watch it Samuel."

"I don't understand why you're doing this to me Sam. You know how messed up I am. At least you should know. You became part of the reason when you left me for Mercedes." Quinn shook her head as her eyes became glassy.

At any other time Sam would feel guilty and stop, but now he didn't care. "I didn't 'leave you' for anyone. You dumped me, Quinn. Or did you forget? Quit trying to make me feel bad when it's not my fault that you broke up with me. I've said sorry too many times. I've tried to be nice to you, but not anymore. Quit talking shit to Mercedes."

Mercedes walked into the living room then, looking concerned and confused. She turned her pretty eyes to Sam. "Oh, Damien and Quinn are here…what's going on?"

"Your man was just defending your honor. You should be proud." Damien said, smiling fiendishly at Mercedes.

"Huh?"

But Sam didn't get a chance to explain. The atmosphere around them changed drastically, and Sam's head spun at all the powerful energy compressing around them. In his delirium he literally snarled, pushing forward into instinct. Sam could tell that Damien was barely holding his Shadow form back. He kept flashing back and forth between a black apparition and human form. Quinn shrieked, gawking at Damien's Phantasm, not knowing how to respond.

Sam sprang into action, grabbing Mercedes and pushing her behind him. Shielding her. Protecting her. From behind himself, he could hear Mercedes' heart pounding. He wished it wouldn't. He wished she knew that she was safe with him.

Quinn looked like she was going to faint at any moment, and that fucking served her right. But Sam let it and her drama go for the moment, because now wasn't the time anymore. The others were here.

"What's—are they here, Sam? The other Elites?" Mercedes' worried voice asked quietly into his ear. It was a testament to how chaotic the situation had gotten that the feeling of her breath in his ear wasn't putting him on the edge.

Another growl rumbled in Sam's chest as he tried to control his primitive instincts. "Yes. Now Cedes, Damien and I are going to go to the front door and get them settled in. I want you and Quinn to go to my room. Don't leave until one of us comes up there to get you two."

She nodded and kissed him softly. "Good luck."

Mercedes walked over to Quinn and grabbed her arm, quickly leading her out of the living room. Even through the blood pounding in his ears and ethereal energy around them, his stomach tightened at her acquiescence. Her trust.

After they had left Damien managed to quit shifting forms. Sam looked at him meaningfully. "You okay?"

He nodded. "It's just…with Quinn around—cause that's my Promise—my protective instincts are making me a bit oversensitive. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. C'mon, let's go greet our guests."

Damien rolled his neck. "You say that as if this will be peaceful."

"Well if it looks like they're going to be trouble, I'm not letting the girls leave my room." Sam said between clenched teeth.

Damien scoffed. "If it seems like they're going to put the girls in danger, I'm going to kill them."

Sam smiled. This is the Damien I like.

"You're smiling, but I'm serious Samuel."

He walked up to Damien and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "No, I'm smiling because you're serious."


THANK YOU: Emily8x3, Haitianm, LovesamcedesStory, Kimpa7809, Hayden5, LunaSolTierra, zeejack, bluchromed2002, eowyn, dioyou123, rocklesson86, TeamSethLover, GeorgetteA, and krazykay23 for reviewing! (what happened to NCC-0419? D: ) I'm so happy that ALL of the reviews are getting lengthier and more in depth! It makes me soooo gleeful! Please don't think that I don't want to read long reviews, I thrive for them. I'm feenin' for them.

Again, sorry for the pregnant absences between updates. I'm not going to give you any excuses, either. Anyway, The Dinner Chapter is going to consist of two separate parts, because this chapter was getting to long for my liking. The next installment is the dinner in its entirety. This was the prelude.

How did you all like this chapter? What did you think about Mercedes' confession? Sam's reactions and his discussion with Quinn? What about Mercedes' response to Sam saying he loved her? What are you looking forward to next chapter at the dinner? How did this chapter affect you if at all?

Please Review!