Flash forward
Some people bring out the worst in you others the best. But then you have the ones who can make you feel so alive. It's easier being torn then black or white in life. All kind of thoughts run through my mind while not losing my patients while helping folding these napkins in weird shapes. I've retreated myself with hundreds of them at the upper balcony of this beautiful castle. I had a great view from here over the garden where the ceremony will be held, a view on the other side of the gates.
Everyone was busy setting up everything for Hanna Marin and Caleb Rivers big day. What am I exactly doing here and helping out? Well my dad thought it would do me some good, and I will get to see Paige soon.
I would anyway since we're both invited. But helping out means being here early, I have to keep my eyes open so I spot her when she arrives. So I can sneak away, take her hand and run to somewhere quiet.
"Emily, do you know maybe where Alison is? Kenneth just called me, he hasn't heard from her in days."
"No dad I'm not sure either. She did mention staying in Ravenswood for a couple of days. But that was last week so." Not my problem. I thought. I closed my eyes when the sunshine fell on my face.
"Hey Emmy, what's going with you and Paige?"
"I don't know dad. I"
"Do you know anything?" He chuckled.
"Dad not funny. I just meant I don't know, I don't think something has changed between us but it feels a bit awkward. I don't know." He moved to stand behind me, his hands on my shoulder. Staring somewhere into space, I followed his stare.
"I thought I missed something. But maybe you're missing something. I know about Ali being up your back lately. But don't let it destroy what's really great Emmy." He placed a kiss on my head and left.
I wasn't realizing I was tearing those napkins apart. The only thing I was aware of was a laughing Paige walking through these gates in a beautiful summer dress holding hands with Aria Montgomery.
"Hey Paige." My chattering came to an abrupt stop when I heard Spencer call for me. I took a breath before turning around. "Hey."
"Paige, can we talk?" I tightened the grip I had on Aria's hand, apart from that I didn't make a move. "Please?"
"Aria can hear it Spencer. Isn't Toby around?" I scolded myself for being insensitive when a flash of hurt came across Spencer's face.
"Paige." She sighed. "Toby and I are moving in together yes, but I would never just throw you on the street. You don't belong on the street, I knew that from the first time I saw you. I understand that jumped to conclusions, maybe we should have used different words when we broke the news to you."
"I know that I can't stay with you forever and definitely not now you two are going to move in together I guess I just lost my shit."
"Maybe I can ask my parents?" Aria suggested. "That's nice, but that's not necessary thanks Ar." I smiled. "Kenneth kind of owes you, he can give you a bed."
I shook my head wildly. "No. Not a chance I'm moving in with him."
"You're living with me, Paige." Spencer's shaky voice cut through the conversation Aria and I were having. I looked up at her and before I could even do anything we both let out some tears. I took a step closer and threw my arms around her. "I'm so sorry Spencer."
"Sssh it's okay. Don't cry sweetie."
"Come on let's get seated. The ceremony will start in a bit."
"Hello?"
"Em it's me. Where are you?"
"I'm at the wedding, you know that." I rolled my eyes.
"Yes but more precisely."
"I'm on a balcony. Why? Are you still coming?"
"Can you wait there for me?"
"Ali, the ceremony starts soon."
"Please don't move stay there. Remember what I said last week."
That it will be the last time she needs me to do something. "Fine. I'll wait right here for you."
I caught myself out again. I was looking for her. My eyes found her, with her right hand on Aria's back escorting her to her seat before sitting down herself on the third row, next to that tree. Suddenly and unexpectedly I loathed that Aria girl. Stay calm Emily. Stay calm. Try to look normal. Try to look indifferent.
My eyes dart along the ground, jumping everywhere. Searching for something to look at instead. I had to get away from there, I stepped back into one of the big rooms this castle contains. My shoulders slouched and I let out a loud sigh damned. I went back on the balcony. I turned to look at my favorite tree, she certainly moves fast for a graceful person. I was looking at where she was sitting moments before, imagining she was still there.
Even I can't see her anymore, the way she looks is printed in my mind. Paige. I loved her name. It sounded so poetic. Although I don't know anything about poetry. A little smile started to creep on my lips. My mind started to drift to all these times I already had the blessing of being able to look at her. Sometimes from a distance, other close-up. The one time a bit more clothed than others.
Soon the place was full of guests and Caleb stood nervously waiting for his loud fiancé. Well it's not that I'm missing a thing from up here but just damned hurry up Ali. Where the hell are you.
I quickly changed my focus and went back to the happiness of the day. The bride has arrived. She walked down the aisle in her gorgeous gown. Sparkling.
During the ceremony I watched my parents up close, their unconditional love. His eyes, the emotion on his face as Caleb and Hanna proceed with beautiful words. It wasn't that long ago he asked me again when it would finally be my big day. And he knew, I would find love soon. She was closer than I thought, he said.
He might've been right.
The guests started to cheer as we witnessed the married couples first kiss. The chairs were pushed aside so the newlyweds could make their way through hand-in-hand.
"You two stop right there." I gasped. Oh fuck no. Ali what the hell are you doing? Why are you here? Why are you pausing the wedding? What the hell? It was my dad who got up to face her. I couldn't hear what was being said. Toby got up from his seat too and stood to my dad now. Spencer and Aria were still seated, some were getting up too including Paige. The whispers began to form a loud noise.
In one quick movement Ali magically made a gun appear and fired a shot in the air before quickly pointing it at everyone and no one at the same time. Shouting at everyone to shut up.
I was shook. My feet seemed to be nailed to the floor.
