28
Edward's hand was wet. That was the first thing he noticed as he slipped out of the groggy fog that came with the anesthesia. Prying his eyes open, his head lobbed to the right. Bella was sitting next to his bed, her head resting against the palm of his hand. He moaned, causing her to look up at him. A smile spread over her lips, while her eyes flooded with more tears. She brought her hand up, giving him a simple wave of hello.
"Hey," he whispered, his throat dry. His chest ached, the effort to take a simple breath hurt. Of course, he knew it would. It always had, but the pain always took him by surprise.
Bella brought his hand up to her cheek, pressing her lips against his palm.
Edward smiled, but the sound of someone clearing their throat drew his attention to the left side of his bed, where he found Carlisle sitting. He looked around for Alice, but didn't find her. His lips parted and murmured, "Pix?"
"Jasper took her to the cafeteria for something to eat," he explained. "She's been worried, and you know how she gets when she's worried and doesn't eat."
Edward nodded, wincing softly. Alice always struggled when he had to have a new surgery, her imagination getting the better of her. Their mother always said it was the artist in her, and Edward wondered if she had been right.
Carlisle grabbed his hand, sliding the red pain controller into his palm. Edward clicked it three times, knowing that it wouldn't do any good. The device was set to automatically stop his medication at a certain level to keep people from pressing it to the point of overdosing.
"Everything went smooth," Carlisle said. "They were able to replace the valve, and said everything looked great, so . . ."
"Yeah, good, good," Edward whispered, looking over at Bella, who had her eyes closed and his hand still pressed against her cheek. "Beautiful."
Her eyes opened and a tear slipped down across his fingers.
"It's okay," Edward said, groggily.
Shaking her head, she closed her eyes again, causing more tears to sprinkle down her cheeks. Before Edward could press for more details, he felt his eyes drifting closed as his pain medication seeped into his system, causing him to drift back to sleep. The sight of her weeping into his hand haunted him.
When Edward woke again, his room was dark, only a small light above the sink and the glow of his monitors filling the room. Letting his head tilt to the right again, he found Bella still sitting in the same chair, her knees pulled up to her chest and his hand clenched tightly in her. Though it was late, he wasn't surprised that she was still there, still holding his hand, still supporting him. His love for increased.
Edward moaned, causing her to shift her eyes over to him and smiling. "Water."
Bella reached over to the small, rolling table and picked up the small foam cup of water, placing the straw at his lips. He took a sip, wincing when his chest ached. Bella placed the cup back on the table, sliding to the edge of her chair and bringing her hand up to his cheek.
"Thanks," he whispered.
She nodded.
"How'd your appointment go?" he asked, reaching for her hand.
Bella frowned as she wrapped her fingers around his and shook her head.
"You didn't go?"
Her eyes flittered to his, and he saw a flash of pain and grief. Shaking her head once again, Bella pointed to her throat and then spelled out, "M.A.S.S."
It took Edward a moment to understand what she was saying. His eyes widened. "They found another mass?"
She nodded and a tear trickled down her cheek.
"So you can't do the implant now?" he asked.
Bella bit her lip and once again, her head shifted from side to side.
"No you can't or no you can?"
Pointing to her throat, she nodded.
"You can?" he asked.
Bella's head barely moved as she replied with a yes, but then she pulled her hand out of his and grabbed a small note pad and pen off the table, scribbling a quick note. Holding it up in front of Edward, she sat on the side of his bed, letting him read her note.
"Yes, I can do the implant . . . eventually. They're doing a biopsy in a couple of weeks to determine if it's cancer again, which I'm sure it is." Edward frowned and looked over at her. "Oh, fuck, Bella, I'm sorry."
She shrugged her shoulders, and he knew she was trying to give off the impression that she didn't care, but she did. Like with Edward and his heart, her life had been altered by a mass once, and now, she found herself facing another. He couldn't help but feel guilty. He'd pushed her to do the surgery, and by doing so, her life had been altered.
"Are you still going to do the implant?" he asked. "I mean, if it's cancer?"
Bella shifted her eyes to his and before pointing to him.
"For me?"
She nodded.
"Is it wrong that I'm glad you're still doing it?" he asked.
Bella smiled and shook her head as she pointed to him and then crossed her arms in front of her chest before gesturing to herself.
"I something you," he said.
Bella laughed silently before she brought her hand up and spelled out: "L.O.V.E."
"Love. I love you," he said.
She smiled and nodded.
"I do," he told her as the door to his room opened and a nurse came inside.
She glared at Bella before turning her attention to Edward. "Are you in pain?"
Edward shifted his eyes to Bella before he nodded.
"On a scale between one and ten, ten being the worst?" she asked.
"Seven or eight," he admitted. "Maybe a nine."
She nodded before reaching over to his morphine pump and increasing his dosage. "Click your button, young man. No point in being strong just out of spite."
"I'm not," he mumbled. "I just don't like how they make me feel."
The nurse, whose nametag read Marcy, scowled. "Being in pain isn't going to help you heal." She shifted her eyes to Bella, before adding, "You need your rest, Edward."
Spinning on her heel, she turned and walked out of the room, letting the door close behind her. Edward looked over at Bella, who was frowning. "She's kind of a bitch, huh?"
She nodded but brought his hand back up to her face.
Once again, Edward felt his eyes growing heavy as his pain medication took the edge off and he found himself drifting off to sleep.
—SW—
"I don't care what you say, I'm going," Edward declared, placing his hand on his chest. The ache in his chest was a reminder that he'd only been home for two day.
He'd spent eight days in the hospital. Four of those days were spent in the ICU while an additional four were spent on the cardiac floor. Bella had only been allowed to stay with him for the first two days. He'd laid in his bed and watched as her hands flew through the air as she argued with Emmett and Esme about staying, but in the end, she had to go back to forks. She'd already missed several days of school, and with the biopsy in three days, she'd miss at least two more. And that all depended on how the results came back. She was terrified, Edward could see that she was barely hanging on, which is why he was adamant about being with her at the hospital.
"Edward, you're not strong enough," Carlisle said, from his seat on the couch. Edward had been propped up in a recliner. Upright was the only position that didn't have him hurting. Well, it hurt, but it wasn't as bad when he was upright, anyway.
"She needs me to be there," he said, staring Carlisle straight in the eye. "She's terrified, Car. You don't understand how it feels to face death once, live, and then find yourself facing it again."
"Maybe not," he said, shifting his eyes away. "But you're still weak. Hell, Edward, you can barely stand for five minutes without breaking out in a sweat."
That was true. "I'm still going," he relied again, and before Carlisle could say anything, he put a hand up. "I'll use a wheelchair, or whatever you want, but I will be there for her. I love her."
Groaning, Carlisle finally nodded. "Fine, whatever. But the first time I think you're done for, I'm taking you to the hotel. You won't be any good to her if you end up back in the hospital because you've overdone it."
"Deal." He leaned his head against the back of the chair, taking a deep breath.
"You need another pain pill?" Carlisle asked.
Edward shook his head, knowing that school was almost over and then Bella would be there. She'd come to his house every day after school, needing to see him, she said. He heard Carlisle mutter under his breath as he walked out of the living room, but Edward ignored it.
Ten minutes later, the door to the house opened and Edward smiled when Bella, Alice, and Jasper came inside. While Jasper hadn't been the easiest person for him to like, Edward knew that he was important to Alice. Plus, he'd stepped up and supported his sister when she needed him. Watching Edward undergo yet another life-threatening surgery had been difficult on Alice, but Jasper had been there for her.
Bella tossed her backpack next to the door and rushed over to Edward, sitting on arm of his chair. She waved and brought her hand up, giving the sign for "Boyfriend" again.
"Not boyfriend," Edward said, laughing softly as he brought his hands up, pressing his index finger and thumb on his right hand together, drawing an invisible circle above his left hand before pressing his fingers on top of his left ring finger. "Fiancée."
Bella smiled and nodded, mimicking the sign.
"How was school?" Edward asked.
When she grimace and shrugged her shoulders, Edward shifted his eyes over to Alice. "That bad?"
"Pretty much," she admitted, sitting next to Jasper and laying her hand on his thigh. "Lots of stares and whispers, and . . ." Alice shook her head. "People are assholes."
"That they are," Jasper agreed, placing his hand on the back of her neck and pressing his lips against the top of her head.
Carlisle came downstairs, shrugging on his scrub top over a long, sleeve gray T-shirt. He looked from Edward and Bella to Alice and Jasper. "Esme said she'd come by in a while with dinner," he said. "If you need anything, call me, okay? I've got my phone on, and I can be here in like two minutes."
"We'll be fine, Car," Edward grumbled, hating that he worried so much about him.
Tonight was Carlisle's first night back to work, after taking the last twelve days off, without pay of course. He hadn't had enough vacation or sick time saved up, which meant that every shift he missed cost them a lot. They each had a small trust given to them from by their grandparents, but they were only given a small monthly allowance and Edward's medical expenses alone would cost them a lot.
"Yeah, I know," he muttered, his brow furrowing, and Edward worried about how the stress of taking care of him was affecting him. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his jacket, keys, and wallet, and looked back at them. "No wild parties," he laughed, but it didn't sound real.
"Well, there goes our plans for tonight," Alice groused, standing up, grabbing Jasper's hand, and leading him to the stairs.
Carlisle watched them as they went upstairs with a look on his face like he should stop them, but then he simply shook his head and looked back over at Bella and Edward, his forehead creasing in worry again. "Okay, I've gotta go. Just . . . be careful."
"We will," Edward muttered, rolling his eyes while Bella looked over her shoulder and giving him a soft wave.
With another sigh, Carlisle turned and walked out of the house, closing the door behind him. Bella bit her lip as she shifted her attention back to Edward, who had his hand pressed against his chest. She frowned and gently placed hers on top of his.
"I'm okay," he whispered.
She shook her head because she knew he wasn't being honest.
Edward sighed. "I'm just tired. And I hate sitting around doing nothing like this."
Bella pulled her cell phone from her back pocket, quickly typing out a message for him. However, instead sending it to Edward's phone, she turned hers around so that he could read it. "The more you rest now, the faster you'll heal." Edward frowned and shifted his eyes up to hers. "I know, but I've spent a lot of my life like this."
Bella nodded.
Edward reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips. "You're going to be okay. You know that, right?"
Shaking her head, she gestured to her throat.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" Edward asked.
Bella tensed and held up nine fingers.
"And they're doing the biopsy at eleven the next morning?"
She nodded, releasing a silent sigh.
"And how long will it take to get the result?" he asked.
Bella shrugged her shoulders and held up two fingers, followed by three fingers and then spelled out, "D.A.Y.S."
"Two to three days, huh?" He hummed. "And do you have to stay in the hospital that long?"
Bella shook her head.
"That's good, right?"
She smiled and shrugged her shoulders again.
Before he could say anything else, someone knocked on the front door. Bella pressed her lips against his before she stood up and walked over to the door, pulling it open and revealing Esme, Emmett, and Rose, all of whom had their arms full of dishes. Bella took a step backward and allowed them into the house. While Emmett and Esme walked into the kitchen, Rose walked over to Edward, sitting on the edge of the coffee table.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, grabbing his arm and checking his pulse.
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he said, "Like I've had my chest ripped open." Over her shoulder, Edward noticed the frown on Bella's lips and he felt horrible for being in a bad mood. "My chest hurts. The incision, I mean. And it itches. I'm tired, but find it really hard to sleep because of the pain."
"Are you taking your pain meds?" Rose asked, shifting her eyes to the small table next to Edward where his medication sat.
"When I can't take the pain anymore," he said, and when she cocked an eyebrow, he added, "It gives me weird dreams."
Rose nodded. "Okay, fair enough."
"Hope you're hungry, Edward," Esme chirped, walking into the living room with two bowls in her hands.
Emmett was behind her with another two. He stopped and looked around the living room. "Where are Alice and Jasper?"
Edward looked at Bella before he said, "Up in her room."
Emmett, Rose, and Esme all shifted their eyes to the stairs, but it was Rose who stood up and yelled, "Jasper! Alice! Get your asses down here!"
The sound of Alice's door being thrown open and footsteps rushing across the landing and down the stairs echoed, and a moment later, both Alice and Jasper were standing at the base of the staircase with red faces. Edward shifted his eyes down to Alice's fingers, noticing the array of red, blue, and yellow paint.
"Time for dinner," Rose said, gritting her teeth together. "And for the record, no having sex."
Jasper's eyes widened as he looked from his sister to down to Alice, who looked like she was ready take off running out of the house. "Shut the fuck up, Rose," Jasper grumbled. "She was painting, and I was listening to music."
"Uh huh, just saying," she replied with a smirk. "Now come eat."
Alice looked at Edward before she walked across the room and sat on the couch, pulling her knees up in front of her. She mumbled a thanks as Emmett handed her one of the bowls he had in his hand.
"You're welcome," he said, quietly. "Don't mind Rose. She's not that scary, just likes to pretend to be a bitch."
While Rose scoffed, Alice gave Emmett a tiny smile. "Okay."
"Here, Edward," Esme said, holding one of the bowls in her hands out to me.
"What is it?" he asked, taking it from her. It looked like some kind of cream soup, one that didn't look all that appealing.
"Potato soup," she responded. "Thought it would be easy on your stomach. Carlisle mentioned that you were having a hard time eating, so . . ."
"Yeah, nothing really looks good," he quipped. "It always takes a while to get my appetite back."
Esme smiled and nodded as she handed Bella her bowl. "Try it. If you don't eat it, I won't be offended. I promise."
Edward agreed, and picked up his spoon, taking it a small sip. Though he was sure it tasted good, he couldn't really taste it. Nothing tasted good to him anymore. Everything had a cardboard like taste, but he attempted to eat it, knowing how worried Carlisle was about him. While everyone settled around him and Bella, who was sitting on the arm of his chair again, he thought about how much had changed over the last couple of months. Edward had friends, family, and Bella. He just hoped he wouldn't lose them like he had his parents.
Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay. I've had a rough few days. A killer headache, lots of trouble sleeping, and then I had to update my Microsoft word, that decided to glitch and cause me to have to completely uninstall it and redo it. Took forever! Anyway, leave me a few words on this chapter and I'll see you next time.
