He's in his office, packing to leave later than the rest of the team but determined to make it home at a half way reasonable time tonight, when there's a knock at his door and Emily appears, coat on and bag over her shoulder. He forgets she's often here as late as him. Seeing her unexpectedly knocks the breath out of him a little, so he has to remind himself why they are not dating.
"Hey," she says, with an easy smile. "I came to say goodbye. You okay?"
"I'm fine," Hotch replies, piling files into his bag and swinging it over his shoulder. "There's a thunderstorm tonight and I want to be home with Jack by the time it hits. He's… He hasn't been good with loud noises since…" He trails off hopelessly, finding he can't quite look at her.
"Ohh," Emily replies, leaning against the doorframe until he's all packed. They leave together – she clicks his light off and closes the office door behind them. He locks it, and they head for the elevator. He looks sideways at her, watches her hesitation, and it reminds him of when things were first starting between them, making him suddenly very aware of the distance he's been putting between them in the months since Haley died. "You want company?" she asks eventually.
"Emily…"
"It's okay," she says quickly, and the elevator arrives and they get in, looking at the doors instead of at each other. "I know. But we're friends, right?"
"Right," he agrees, smiling in spite of himself. There's an anxious tightness in his stomach that makes him want to tell her no, they can't, he can't, but on the way out of the elevator she squeezes his arm and smiles, and the feeling in his stomach is not just anxiety. "Yes," he says. "If you're not busy." After too long a pause, he adds, "We'd like that."
The we is there to tell her that now more than ever, Jack has to be his priority, that this is even less simple now than before. She raises her eyebrows and he realises instantly it was unnecessary, and possibly insulting. He isn't handling this well. But she doesn't say anything, just puts her keys back in her purse and follows him to his car.
It should be awkward, he thinks, as they get in the car – his mind replays the countless times since childhood he's said the wrong thing and felt an argument coming – but instead he looks at her a little apologetically and she smiles at him again. "Do we have time to stop for ice cream? I think a blanket fort might help with your thunderstorm problem."
She's right, of course. She runs into the store for ice cream and comes back with Jack's favourite without any reminders, and when they get to his place the rain is falling heavily, the wind picking up. Jack's in his pyjamas, and he smiles shyly when he sees Emily, less shyly when she holds up the ice cream. Hotch and Emily change into sweatpants and t-shirts and they build a fort with blankets and pillows and the sofa and dining table that's just about roomy enough that Hotch is aware he's brushing her arm intentionally. Haley's death is a weight of grief he can't begin to lift, but it's dark and warm and he has missed Emily like this.
At the first clap of thunder, Jack startles, curling against Hotch's side, and he feels an acute twist of guilt, holding Jack tight against him. Emily squeezes his shoulder and whispers, "Hey, Jack? If you open your eyes and look up, you can see the lightning on the blanket. It's pretty cool."
He can feel the shift in Jack's body as this catches his interest, pulls him into his lap, back against his chest so he can see the roof of their fort. The next time it lights up, Jack wiggles with excitement. "I saw it!"
A couple of seconds later, thunder rumbles again, louder and closer, and Jack flinches but Emily catches it quickly, changes the subject expertly to ice cream. And it's not perfect – his little boy is still afraid and Haley is still gone and it is still his fault. But by the time Jack falls asleep on the floor between them, things feel a little less hopeless.
