A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I don't know if anyone else has seen it but there is an interview with Mariska where she talks about the hair cut that almost got her fired. I am pretty sure that haircut occurred in season 2 when it went very short. I decided to use that for a bit of inspiration. I also stole a few of the deleted scenes that are on the season 2 box set (which can also be found on youtube) for this chapter and used them to my advantage. If you haven't seen the deleted scenes for the episode Taken, which is when this chapter takes place, I think you would be quiet surprised at what a different direction the show would have taken had they been left in. Let me know what you think, reviews make me smile. I hope you enjoy!


Chapter 28

Olivia stared into the bathroom mirror as she wondered what Alex was going to say. It was just supposed to be a trim, that's all she asked for was a trim. She left the salon with her hair shorter than it had ever been. She had cut her hair short when she started in SVU and had cut it shorter over the summer, but never did she want it this short. Alex had always liked it long but was okay when she cut it, but this, this was extreme. She walked to the bedroom pulling a shirt on and climbing into bed. She grabbed a couple files from her bedside table and decided to finish some paperwork while waiting for Alex.

It was late when Alex finally made it home. As tough as the cases were and the long hours she loved her job. Noticing how quiet the apartment was she assumed Olivia was already in bed. She took a moment to lock up and check the answering machine before going to bed. Alex walked into the bedroom and froze when she saw Olivia sitting up in bed. She knew she needed to say something but no words would come out.

Olivia took a deep breath "Well?"

Alex slightly shook her head "Ah…um…it's a…it's short."

Olivia dropped her head back against the pillow "It's awful, I knew it!"

Alex walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through the brunette's hair, she was obviously on the verge of tears. "It'll take a little getting used to," she kissed her forehead "But you're still the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on." She leaned in for a kiss that starts out soft and gentle but gradually increases in intensity.

Olivia placed one hand on Alex's cheek and the other on her waist. Leave it to Alex to make her feel better, no one in the world could make her feel as good about herself as Alex.

Alex ran her hand along Olivia's thigh, noticing she wasn't wearing anything under her t-shirt, as it crept higher finally coming to a stop as she lightly squeezed her breast. She scooted closer and began sliding her other hand up her other side as their lips parted "No underwear huh? Planning on gettin lucky tonight?"

Olivia chuckled as she began making quick work of the buttons on Alex's blouse "You know it." she pushed the blouse off her shoulders and pulled her closer.

Alex slid Olivia's shirt over her head and began placing kisses along her neck and across her chest before finally taking her nipple into her mouth. "Oh God!" Olivia moaned out as she put a free hand on the back of Alex's head to hold her in place. When Alex released her nipple and moved to the other Olivia reached down and began undoing the button on her pants and trying to unzip them. "You have way too many clothes on."

Alex grinned as she pulled back and stood "I'm about to correct that right now." She quickly stripped the rest of her clothes while Olivia put her files on the table and settled down into the bed. Alex climbed in and settled between Olivia's legs. She resumed kissing, licking and sucking on Olivia's breasts but gasped when she felt Olivia's hand slip between her legs.

"If I'd have known this is what would happen I would've cut my hair this short a long damn time ago." She panted.

Alex chuckled as she rose back up "I'm gonna make you forget all about that haircut." she claimed Olivia's lips in a passionate kiss, slipping her tongue into her mouth. She pulled back and gasped when she felt Olivia slip two fingers inside of her. Alex slowly slid her hand down Olivia's toned body and slipped two fingers into her.

Olivia quickly flipped them so that she was on top. She leaned down and took Alex's breast in her mouth as she sped up her thrusts, her palm hitting against her clit. Alex panting and writhing underneath her was one of her favorite sights in the world. She cried out though when she felt Alex begin rubbing her clit at a furious pace with her thumb. "Oh God Alex, I'm not gonna last."

Alex was gasping for air as she looked up into Olivia's eyes that seemed to darken with love and lust. Watching Olivia underneath her was wonderful, but watching her come undone above her was amazing. "Me either. I'm ah… I'm right there with you."

Both increased the speed of their thrusts and began rocking against one another. "Alex. Alex. Alex!" Olivia called out as she fell over the edge. Her arm giving out as she did and she collapsed onto her lover.

"Oh Liv, fuck!" Alex cried out, she was pretty sure she saw stars and was on the verge of passing out. She wrapped her arms around Olivia and held her tight. She knew Olivia worried about being too heavy for her but it was the opposite, Alex loved feeling her body on hers. "You're shaking." Alex whispered as she struggled to catch her breath.

Olivia chuckled lightly "I'll live." She placed light open mouth kisses along Alex's neck, taking her time till she worked her way up to her lips. When she pulled back she looked Alex in the eyes, she always found love reflecting there. "I love you."

Alex rose up and kissed her one more time before releasing her hold and allowing Olivia to slide off to the side "I love you too."

They settled in as sleep began to overtake them. "I'll sleep well tonight." Alex said as she snuggled back into Olivia's arms.

Olivia laughed as she pushed Alex's now damp hair back from her face "Me too." She sighed as she drifted off "If the guys give me a hard time tomorrow about the good mood I'm in, I'm sending them to you."

Alex couldn't help but laugh as she buried her head into her pillow.


Olivia was watching surveillance tapes when Fin popped in to tell her the captain was looking for her. As she walked up to his door she told him they were about to check out a lead.

Cragen motioned her into the office "Close the door."

Olivia closed the door and took note of the uniform officer rising from the chair. She looked to the captain "What?"

"Olivia I think you should sit down."

She was starting to worry now "I'm fine, just tell me."

The older man sighed, he hated this part of the job "Olivia your Mother had an accident. I am so sorry."

Olivia felt her knees weaken, there was no way her Mom was gone. "How?" she whispered as she struggled to hold back the tears.

"She fell down the subway stairs."

Olivia shook her head as a stray tear finally escaped "No, my Mother doesn't take the subway."

Cragen gave her a sympathetic look "The entrance outside the Velvet Room."

Olivia nodded in understanding, she had always known this could happen "She was drunk."

Thirty minutes later Alex came barreling into the squad room. She had been sitting at her desk preparing for arraignment when the captain called and told her he needed her to come down to the precinct. When she asked why he told her that Olivia needed her. Alex hung up the phone before he had time to finish. She walked into Cragen's office "What happened? Where's Olivia?"

The captain stood and walked around his desk. "She's in the cribs." He placed a hand on her arm to stop her from leaving the room. "Olivia's mother had an accident this morning, she didn't make it."

Alex's hand flew up to cover her mouth. As awkward as her relationship had been with Serena her heart broke for her. She thanked the captain for calling her and headed toward the cribs. She hated that Serena was gone but at the same time she thought that maybe she had now found the peace that she had desperately seeked in this life.

Olivia felt numb as she sat on the edge of the bed. She had always known this day would come but now that it had she was still taken a little off guard. She often wondered how it would happen, as a child she feared waking up to find her dead with a bottle still in her hand. As she grew older she imagined Serena stumbling out into traffic and getting hit or dying from some alcohol related disease. Never did she imagine it would be from a fall down the subway stairs. She looked up when she heard a knock on the door and Alex enter. Olivia's body began to shake as Alex approached, she had been holding it together fairly well until now. As Alex sat down next to her Olivia knew she could now break down.

"Oh baby." Alex whispered as she wrapped Olivia tightly in her arms. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She kissed the top of her head and smiled when she felt Olivia take her hand and lace their fingers together. They sat there in silence, the only sound was Olivia crying. Once Olivia began to calm down Alex leaned down "You want to go home?"

Olivia sat up and wiped her tears "Yeah. I just need to let the Captain know I'm leaving."

The Captain was waiting in the hall so Olivia wouldn't have to go back through the squad room. He told her to take all the time she needed then told Alex to call once the arrangements were set.

On the cab ride home Alex took a moment to call her Mom and let her know what had happened. Laura told her she would be over later and to give Olivia her love.

As they were walking into their apartment Olivia spoke up "I'm glad we got to go out to dinner with her the other day."

Alex smiled as she thought about it. Serena had called them the Saturday before and asked them to dinner. Both had been shocked but were so happy that Serena had been sober that evening. They would readily admit it was one of the best times they had spent with her.

Olivia was numb most of the evening. She was aware of Alex, and later Laura, talking to her and Alex trying to coax her into eating but she just couldn't. She tried sleeping that night but couldn't do much more than toss and turn. Finally around three she got up and went to lay on the sofa.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Alex asked sleepily from the end of the sofa.

"Couldn't sleep, didn't see any point in keeping you up as well."

Alex sat on the edge and placed her hand on Olivia's cheek "I'd gladly give up some sleep for you."

Olivia smiled and shook her head "I appreciate it but there's no sense in you being tired all day at work."

"I'm not going to work."

Olivia tilted her head to the side "Why not?"

Alex looked at her as if it were obvious "I'm not leaving you. I'm taking a few days bereavement."

Olivia sat up a bit "I'll be fine Alex. Besides were not married you can't take bereavement."

Alex took Olivia's hand in her own "No I won't get paid for it but I'm taking a few days. I already called them yesterday evening while Mom was here. I told them what happened and that I would be taking a few days. They were okay with it."

Olivia smiled as a few tears escaped "What would I do without you?"

The next day Alex accompanied Olivia to the funeral home that Serena had wanted to use. Olivia only knew this because it was the same funeral home where they had her grandmother's funeral. When they arrived both were surprised to find out that Serena had already made her arrangements. Olivia looked surprised and the man gave her a sympathetic smile "Your Mother picked everything out from her favorite songs to her coffin. She said she didn't want to be a burden to you."

As they made their way out of the funeral home Olivia shook her head "Here I always thought I was the burden and in the end she worried about being a burden to me."

The day passed slowly for Olivia. She took calls from the guys checking in to see if she's okay, as well as Alex's grandparents. That afternoon Laura and Bill's wife Helen stopped by with some food. While they were both appreciative Olivia really had no appetite. Later that evening Elliot and Kathy came by with food as well. It was the first time Alex met Elliot's wife and she had to admit she often wondered how the woman put up with him. So far she liked him and Olivia trusted him, she just thought he could be a bit of a hot head.

The next evening was the wake, Alex refused to leave Olivia's side for a moment. Olivia glanced around the room most were friends and colleagues of Serena's but Munch, Fin and Jeffries was there, as well as Elliot and the Captain stopping in for a while. Laura stayed the entire time to provide support. Olivia was surprised but touched when their college friends Matt and Amy came into the city for the wake after seeing the obituary in the paper.

"How are you holding up?" Alex asked as she soothingly ran her hand along Olivia's back. "You want to sit down for a minute?"

Olivia shook her head "I'm okay." She turned to look at the picture of her mother that was sitting on the coffin. "She's at peace now, isn't she?"

Alex rested her head on Olivia's shoulder and looked at the picture "I believe she is."

"This just sucks." Olivia said as she wiped a few tears.

Alex wrapped her arms around her "I know baby. I know."

Olivia turned and allowed Alex to envelope her in a hug. She stiffened though when she saw the woman who was giving her a sad smile.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked as she turned to see who Olivia was looking at "Who is that?"

"My Mom's oldest friend…and drinking buddy." She stepped away and made her way over to the woman.

Olivia walked over and reluctantly allowed the woman to hug her. She could remember many times through the years when Serena would try to get sober then Nancy would appear and all her work went down the drain.

"Olivia I am so sorry."

"Why are you here?" Olivia was in no mood for sympathies from her.

"Serena was my oldest friend. I also wanted to be here for you."

Olivia shook her head as her anger continued to grow "If you were here friend you would have supported her when she attempted to get sober. I can't count how many times over the years she would try to get sober, and several times she was doing well, but then you would come along and end it all."

Nancy tried to place a hand on Olivia's arm but she pulled away "Olivia she drank because she couldn't cope with the rape."

"That was part of it but she at least tried to stop. You were her friend when she was raped, you were there for her when I was born. If you were such a good friend why didn't you encourage her to get help? A true friend would have supported her and not allowed, and even helped, her to drown her problems!"

"I want you to know she did love you, she just didn't know how to cope."

Suddenly Olivia couldn't control her anger or hurt any longer and slapped the older woman before grabbing her arms and walking her from the room like she would a perp. Alex and Elliot saw what happened and both made a move to go after the brunette. Laura stepped in front of them and shook her head then followed after Olivia.

Laura's heart was breaking as she walked into the hallway. In her eyes Olivia was her daughter and it killed her to see her hurting like she was.

"Do you have any idea what it was like growing up in that apartment?" Olivia had Nancy cornered. "All I wanted was a normal life, hell I would've settled for a semi normal life. I wanted to know what it was like to wake up and not have to wonder if my Mom had died, to not have to drag her to bed because she passed out in the floor." she paused when she felt a hand on her shoulder. At the sight of Laura Olivia broke down.

"Come on." Laura whispered as she wrapped an arm around Olivia and guided her down the hall to a bench where no one could see her.

"I feel like such an idiot." Olivia said between sobs.

Laura kissed her temple "You're grieving. Regardless of your relationship with Serena she was still your Mom."

The day of the funeral Olivia was surprisingly calm, so calm it actually worried Alex. Alex was standing in the kitchen when Olivia walked in from the bedroom. She was wearing a three quarter sleeve black dress and the necklace her grandmother had given her when she was ten.

"You look nice."

Olivia smiled "Thank you." she looked at Alex who was wearing a somewhat similar dress only hers was long sleeves. "You look nice too." She pulled Alex to her and kissed her gently "Thank you, for everything. I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Olivia I'm here for you, no matter what." She grabbed a tissue from the stack they were going to put in their purses and dabbed at Olivia's eyes. "I promised to be here for it all, good and bad. You were there for me when Dad passed away, and honestly I would've never survived it if it wasn't for you." she dried a few more tears as well as her own before kissing Olivia again "You take care of me and I'll take care of you."

In keeping with Serena's wishes it was a simple graveside service. Even though it was winter they were grateful the weather wasn't too cold. Olivia sat staring at the casket throughout most of the service, Alex on her left with her arm wrapped around her and Laura on her right holding her hand. Olivia was grateful for both women supporting her. The ceremony was a Catholic ceremony and Olivia was a little surprised when the two songs her mom had chosen were hymns. Of course her grandmother was a devout Catholic and she knew Serena had been raised Catholic.

When the service ended several of the mourners came by and offered Olivia a final condolence. Alex stood back with her mom as Olivia walked up to the casket one last time. She has struggled to keep from thinking of her own dad's service. Even though it's been several years she still misses him every day. All she has thought about is that she had the opportunity to make peace with her dad after the several strained years they had. Yes Olivia's relationship with her own mom is better than it was when she was young but it was nowhere near the relationship she knew her partner desired.

Olivia stood at the casket "I won't lie, for many years I couldn't stand you. Actually I hated you. I couldn't understand why you couldn't love me. Now I understand what you struggled with every day. I made peace years ago with the fact that you were an alcoholic. All of that being said I'm glad we finally made some kind of peace with each other. You finally accepted that Alex and I are a couple." She began to cry again and quickly wiped her tears. "The day of our commitment ceremony will forever be one of the best days of my life, and the fact that you were there to share it only made it better." She took a deep breath "I hope you finally have the peace you've always wanted. I love you Mom." She kissed her fingers and touched the casket before turning and walking away.

"You okay?" Alex whispered as Olivia took her hand and they started toward the car.

Olivia nodded quickly "I think I'm gonna go home and change then head to the precinct, at least finish out the last half of my shift."

Alex is shocked at what she just heard "I don't think that's such a great idea. You need a day to rest."

"Alex I need to keep my mind occupied. It's just easier to not think."

Alex quickly stepped in front of her as she was about to get into Laura's car. "I know how you're feeling. I know you need something to occupy your mind. I just think you should take the rest of the day." She took both of Olivia's hands in her own. "Let's just go home and spend the day together. We won't buzz any visitors up, no phone calls, it'll just be us. We can pick a few movies to watch or some mindless tv show. Whatever you want."

"Okay."

Alex was sitting on the end of the sofa with her feet propped on the coffee table with Olivia lying down and her head in her lap. Alex was lazily running her fingers through Olivia's hair as they watched Pretty in Pink, one of their favorite movies from childhood. Alex paused the movie when Olivia looked up at her.

"Do you think it's wrong that I'm a little relieved? Does it make me a bad person, a bad daughter?"

"No sweetheart I don't. You lived with things that no child should have to live with." the words had barely left her mouth when Olivia broke down. Alex reached out for a tissue from one of the boxes that has stayed within arm's reach the past few days and wiped the brunette's tears. Even though Olivia had cried many times over the last few days Alex knew from experience that a breakdown was coming. "It's okay just let it all out."

Olivia laid there and grieved, she grieved for her mom, for what Serena had gone through, and for the relationship they both wanted but never had. She felt Alex's arm wrap around her waist and hold her tight. The love and comfort she was receiving from her partner only made her cry harder.

Alex was unsure how much time had passed but Olivia's body had finally stopped shaking and her breathing had finally evened out. Alex was pretty sure she was going to be stiff from the position she was in but she wasn't about to wake Olivia for her own comfort. She laid her head back on the sofa and drifted off to sleep while still running her fingers through Olivia's hair.