Would have had this up yesterday, but something just didn't feel right, so I tweaked some things here and there and am much happier now...

Hope to have the next one up soon! This one's kind of an in-between Chapter...but an important one I think. Next couple should be more eventful ;)

As always, I looooooove all of your reviews!


Wilson slipped into his apartment and tossed his keys onto the table in the obscurity of his entryway. His hand crept to the muscles by his neck and began to massage the exhaustive day away from his own shoulders. He allowed the world to dissolve in the black stillness around him, feeling relaxed for the first time all day, until his left jacket pocket began to vibrate against him.

He took another pause before he started to remove himself from the constrictive garment, and his hand retrieved the annoyance with a scowl on his face. "Yeah?" He knew at this late hour this could only involve House.

"Wilson…its Cuddy."

He knew it… "What did he do?"

There was a pause from the other end of his phone, "Nothing…have you seen him?"

"Not since lunch. But I thought he was going to your place tonight-"

"-That didn't happen…I need you to find him."

Her voice seemed worn and scratchy, matching his tired tone. "Look, I just worked the last sixteen hours straight, I need you guys to for once deal with whatever ridiculous fight or misunderstanding this phone call is based on and just-"

"-We didn't have a fight…but I'm worried."

"About what? His well-being…or him making a poor decision?"

"Both…but he's probably just at home…please Wilson." The words poured from her with subdued need.

"Why can't you go over there and check on him…what happened?" Wilson asked, even though he so desperately wanted to avoid being involved with their relationship, in any form.

"He left…upset…it's been a tough week."

"Are you going to tell me why he left or am I going in blind here? And if you tell me you broke up with him again, I'm hanging up." He sat down on a stool in the kitchen he had wandered to and listened intently for a reply, but all he heard was silence and what he thought was her sniffling,

"Cuddy?" His tone instantly changed to one filled with concern when he understood she was truly upset over something.

"I'm…pregnant." She whispered back to him.

Wilson was glad he was already sitting down, "I…when…how…" He shook his head to form a whole sentence, "Are you sure?"

"Yes…I'm…about six weeks. House did the ultrasound."

"When did you find out?"

"About four hours ago."

"And…I'm assuming that's the last time you saw him?"

"Yes."

"I'm heading to his apartment." He walked back towards the door he had just entered, phone in hand, and unhooked the same jacket from the coat rack, still digesting what he had just been told. "I will find him…"

"I don't think he can handle…this."

Wilson stopped by the front door, wishing he could offer some sort of comfort for the enormity of the situation. "This is big...for anyone…but he's different now…maybe he can handle it. Or at least not go running to vicodin…" Wilson trailed off as he realized he had said precisely the wrong thing.

"I'm not so convinced of that…please find him. I don't want him to be alone tonight." She beseeched desperately, her voice so distinctly sad that Wilson could picture the face she was wearing on the other end.

"I didn't take any pills." A third voice edged into the conversation with slurred speech; pulling Wilson instantly in the direction of the familiar sound.

House leaned forward in his hidden spot from the chair in the corner of the room, his eyes appeared glassy and seemingly fixed on nothing specific. Wilson startled, the air sucked from his lungs before he recovered and walked closer to his inebriated friend.

He sighed into the phone, "He's here."

"Thank you." She whispered through the phone, and then a soft click was heard as she ended their call without another word.

"I thought about it…pills. They're in my pocket." House mumbled and clumsily managed to pull a full prescription bottle from his coat. They fell onto the floor in front of him, and he watched it carefully as the pills rolled by his feet.

Wilson bent to grab them and saw the empty amber bottle that was also on the floor. "I see you consumed Scotch instead…a lot of it."

"Yep. Figured plan B was the better option…those pills get me into trouble…and…I already have some problems. Didn't want…my…Cuddy leaving me again…cause she did before you know."

"I know…"

"Because ofpills." House attempted to point in the direction of the bottle Wilson was now holding in his hand. "I have some problems Wilson…"

"She's not going to leave you. "

"But she might…now cause I'm going to fail…her. I have big problems…Wilson…" House leaned forward in his chair, slouching over with the weight of the world resting on his shoulders.

Wilson brought a chair from the other side of the room and placed it in front of his friend. He sat down carefully; hoping something brilliant would come to him. "Listen, Cuddy's not going anywhere…and this…" Wilson hesitated to think of the right words…

"This…fetus…" House finished for him.

"This baby…doesn't have to be a problem…I know this isn't something you planned but—"

"— It is…a problem…and I will fail…" House trailed off, gesturing with his hands helplessly.

"What does Cuddy think of all this?"

"She…I don't know." He mumbled confusedly, looking through Wilson.

"You didn't stay and talk with her after you found out?"

"I don't know what to…say…I couldn't tell her anything that…makes her happy…she's sad." House tried to get up from his seat but his legs wobbled wildly from his extremely drunken state.

Wilson placed his hands on his arms and guided him back down, "Stay and talk with me…I know you came here for solace."

"I came here…cause…you have Scotch."

"So do bars."

"She wants it…to keep…Wilson."

"Did she say that?"

"No…I could see…why does she…it will be bad."

"I'm pretty sure the baby needs to arrive first before you can deduce what the future will look like."

"I don't want it too."

"You don't mean that…I can tell by the way you looked away from me when you said that. You're scared, and you have every right to be…hell I'm scared."

"Why…did you get Cuddy pregnant…cause then I might have to…fight you."

"I'm scared because I know you two are under immense stress already…and to factor this in now, when your surgery—"

"—I don't want to talk about…that." House looked away, with more sorrow than Wilson had seen in his face in for a long time.

"We don't have to…but…that's what this is really about…isn't it?" He watched as House finally leaned back in his chair, his head rested heavily against the brown leather. Wilson could see his eyes glaze over, and it hurt him to witness all of his friend's pain that he could do nothing to relieve. "You're not going to die House…Cuddy won't be left alone with this baby."

"I guess if I did though…she would have a junior…thing of me…keep her company."

"You think Chase is going to let anything happen to you? You trust him, it's time you remembered that, and stop dwelling on the what-ifs. I mean…a baby." Wilson smiled a little at the thought of what his two best friends had created together, hoping it looked like Cuddy. "A baby is supposed to be a wonderful event. Not something that drives you away from the woman you love and into a full bottle of alcohol."

"It's not wonderful…everything was okay. Me…Cuddy and Rachel. Rachel…likes me…I don't have to be someone else…she is…we fit together and I…love her…but I am not her father…Cuddy is there…she does most of the work…I don't have to be anyone important…she doesn't have to look up to me."

"But she does. You are the closest thing to a Father that has ever been in her life."

"Lucas…he was better…he knew how."

"Forget Lucas, because I'm sure Rachel has. Cuddy picked you. Knowing full well that you would be an excellent Father for Rachel because that little girl loves you…she idolizes you House. Cuddy may do most of the work now, but that's only because she's used to being the only parent for Rachel, but that has slowly changed, and will continue to change…I think you know all of this." Wilson sighed and waited for House to respond, his expression was still so defeated, broken and far away.

"You're going to be okay House. And sooner than you think you will realize how lucky you are to be with the woman you have loved for most of your life…and now…to have created a life together. A tiny person that will embody both of you. Walk through life with two amazingly smart, and often, crazily manic parents. It bonds you two forever."

"We are already bonded forever." House slurred quietly, and leaned his head to the side of the chair, closing his eyes to the world. "I…need to sleep."

Wilson nodded to no one and brought a blanket from the sofa and covered him up, leaving him alone for the night to sleep it off and hopefully waken with a different perspective on the enormous day he had encountered.

Reaching for his phone on the counter, her quickly text Cuddy a message to ease her stress, then went down his darkened hallway to sleep his long crazy day away as well.


"House…wake up." He felt his right arm being squeezed tightly, little fingers digging deeper and deeper into his bicep before he could muster the strength to open his eyes.

"I can't find my Mommy." Rachel materialized before him, she was all alone; he could see her big brown eyes glisten even though the room was cloaked in nothing but shadows.

He looked beyond her into the room…Wilson's room he recognized, and he had awoken on Wilson's brown leather chair with a blanket draped across his lap. Moments started to piece back together as he recalled why he had ended up there in the first place.

Cuddy was pregnant.

And he had left her standing there, unfailingly proceeding to be the coward that she always could count on…drinking to the brink of nothing. House reached for his pounding head…

"House where is she?"

Rachel drew back his focus and his eyes adjusted to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Because my Mommy's gone. You's have to help me." Her voice grew more frantic, her fingers clawed even further into his arm, he hadn't even realized she was still clutching.

In that moment he knew that this was only a dream. His mind was certainly trapped inside the potent alcohol that was coursing through his veins.

He looked to the floor by his feet. An amber bottle lay on its side. Empty…and similar colored bottle of pills lay beside it. House felt his heart stop as he tried to remember whether he had succumbed to his ultimate weakness. He felt himself bend over to retrieve it, noticing the bottle felt heavy to him. He pulled it up eye level and saw the crux of his existence…a full bottle of the poison that destroyed his life more than once.

The lid was in place, not a pill was consumed…He hadn't given in this time, and the bottle was tossed behind him, rattling in the quiet.

He turned back to Rachel, "When was the last time you saw her?" Somehow he felt the urgency to help her, even though he knew she was only a fantasy.

"I don't know."

House did a double take; everything about her seemed to suddenly grow smaller when she spoke. Her face began to change; her cheeks became rounder like she appeared when they first began their relationship. Her voice grew softer, less able to speak as clearly as before.

"What the hell just happened?" He spoke to no one, his arms instinctively reached to pick up the now sobbing toddler. He felt her hands wrap around his neck like she was clinging to him…

But then another moment passed by, and in his arms appeared only that of a baby. Her body even felt warmer against his chest.

House moved quickly to the foyer, the only thought coursing through him was the need to find Cuddy. His hand flung open Wilson's door, the hallway before him remained blurry until his eyes refocused, and he was standing inside his office, the baby still cradled in his arms, Rachel…he remembered. Somehow he was holding Rachel, as she was over four years before.

His office appeared empty. He moved to the glass door to see if Cuddy was anywhere close, but he already knew he was alone.

House looked around for clues, crossing behind his desk he looked to the surface as if he were trying to piece together a puzzle.

"You found her." Her low voice pulled his eyes towards his office doorway, where Cuddy suddenly stood with a deeply placed frown on her face. She raced towards him and grasped the baby from his arms as if she didn't trust him to hold her any longer.

"Yes…I found her. I…I took care of her."

"Thank you. But I'm here now…I know you never wanted me to keep her. You made it absolutely clear you wanted no part in her life."

He felt as though he'd been slapped. "That…was a long time ago…back during the time that you weren't sure you should keep her either…"

Cuddy began to walk away from him, angrily moving towards the door.

"You know that I don't think that anymore. I love her." He called out to her.

She halted her movement, "Only as much as you're capable of loving House."

"What does that mean? You know how hard I've been trying."

"I need a man that I can count on every single day. I'm a Mother now…and you…have never wanted to be a Father.

"Well it seems a bit late now for that. You're pregnant. Isn't that why I'm having this screwed-up dream?" He came around the desk to her, but she quickly recoiled like he was a disease, and it stopped him in his tracks.

He could feel her contemptuous stare from miles away. Having her look at him that way felt like burning alive.

"I'm done…this isn't going to work."

"You got that right, not like this—in bizarre land."

"You will never be the man that I need." She backed away from him, Rachel somehow no longer held in her hands.

"This isn't right." He shook his head strongly against the backward images and words spewing before him. "You don't really believe all of this. I know you believe in me now…I can feel it. This is my fear talking."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I just need to wake up." He shut his eyes tightly to her, not being able to look at her judging expression any longer. His hands flew up to rub vigorously at his eyes, trying to stab the dream away, stimulate his mind enough to rouse him from sleep.

House took deep ragged breaths before he finally braved to open his eyes. His office still sat before him, but his perspective had changed. He was now sitting in his cushioned chair that sat beside his door, his legs resting on the ottoman. Cuddy stood before him, cradling a baby once more. "Move your feet…" She spoke to him, her eyes smiled with crystal clarity, but her voice echoed in his head like a distant memory.

"Are you trying to annoy me?" She was now facing him, their knees touching ever so gently.

"I'm trying to explain you." His voice sounded without his conscious choosing as he watched the scene unfold before him.

"I know it doesn't make any sense but…it was real. It was there." Cuddy's eyes returned to Rachel, only two months old swaddled up in a blanket, a pink hat settled upon her tiny pale head.

He remembered thinking that he'd never seen that much light emanating from her eyes before that very moment. She was a Mother…just like that, and she had finally found the love of her life. "You want to hold her?" She shifted her new child in her arms without waiting for acceptance, "Here come say hi." She spoke to the both of them, handing House her daughter. There were no hesitations.

House watched intently as a small wrinkly Rachel was held out in front of him to take. "You think we'll bond?" He took her carefully in his hands, feeling instantly that he would break her in half if he held on to her too hard.

A little ball of flesh sat before him, Rachel's round eyes that he was so familiar with now, gazed at him so distinctly, like she was studying him in the same intimate manner that he took in her…as if that were the precise moment they connected.

He could feel Cuddy watching him intently, sensing her contented smile. He knew what would happen next, the moisture from her spit-up splattered on his neck as if written in a script.

Cuddy laughed…

He turned to her, "Is that cute?"

She looked radiant; it was the only thing stopping him from being perturbed that he smelled like sour milk.

"A little…" She kept smiling.

"If I threw up on you, you'd be pissed."

"Your puke isn't as cute."

He could watch her smile forever…

"You found her!" Suddenly a full sized Rachel came running into the room, interrupting the memory before him and inverting the image in his mind. Cuddy sat in front of him, motionless, the baby cradled in her arms mimicked her unmoving stance. House's stomach churned, unnerved by how empty she now appeared.

"Mommy?" Rachel hesitantly approached her side.

"Uh…" House moved to stand in front of her, trying to block her view, "Rachel—Mommy's sleeping, let's go…somewhere else."

"Who's that?" Rachel pointed to the baby she saw the moment she entered the room.

"That's a baby." He sighed, callously pinching his arm to wake him up from his insane dream.

"But…I'm her baby." Rachel looked up to him, helpless and lost.

"Well technically that is you." He muttered under his breath. "And I'm a crazy person that desperately misses being awake."

She remained glued to her motionless Mother, "House…is she my Mommy still?"

"Of course…she's your Mommy. She's just…pretending to be a mime at the moment. "

"She's not…she doesn't love me anymore…she has you…and her." She pointed; her voice reverberated eerily off the walls around them.

"Oh good God." He looked to the ceiling, and away from every ounce of emotion he was spewing forth in his tumultuous dream; his subconscious speaking through the eyes of the child in front of him.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" He began to jump up and down, his leg throbbed but his heart quickened enough to think it was working.

Then the walls shook underneath him, and he began to fall through the floor…

The crumbled wood flew passed his head as he tumbled with intense speed towards the blackness below.

House choked in his sleep, lucidly drifting somewhere between hallucination and reality. He coughed and his breath hitched irregularly as the burn in his throat threatened to strangle him. Eyes burst open as he sucked in a lungful of air, and he looked around the room.

Wilson's dark living room, he remembered using his key to get inside.

He looked down to a woolen blanket that was currently twisted tightly around his hands, as if he were holding on to it for dear life in his sleep.

It took him a moment to recover, to truly confirm he had risen from the bizarre haze. Everything felt strange to him. His heart pounded heavily, and he knew with certainty that he was still not remotely sober.

The watch on his wrist read three-thirty in the morning… hours had passed by…

His stood up without thinking, finding his cane just beside him. House moved to the door and out into the common hallway, knowing only one thing for sure…

He needed to see her.


It was nearing four in the morning when Cuddy shifted in bed and glanced to her clock for what felt like the hundredth time since she foolishly forced herself to lay down. She groaned outwardly to no one but herself, oozing with frustration from her solitude. Her hands balled into fists as she stared up at the ceiling, not bothering to close her eyes anymore.

She hated being alone, especially on a night when her mind absolutely refused to allow her to forget anything that had transpired over the last day. Not for even one second could she forget that she was carrying a life inside her. A second child, one that she would give birth too…something that she had craved for most of her adult life…

Something she never thought possible.

But she had given up on that urge the moment she had Rachel, placed the feeling away and moved on to cherish every single minute she got to spend with her amazing daughter. She felt lucky. Her child was special, loving, incredibly smart and funny…she was perfect. The permanent remedy to fix her unfulfilled heart.

Cuddy's eyes welled as she thought of all change that would come into her life now.

Not only did she feel old; too old to give birth to anyone…but the thought of Rachel's world changing and disrupting their incredibly close relationship with someone that would take some of her attention away from her daughter, made her heart break.

What if Rachel started to believe that she wasn't as special?

She didn't come from Cuddy's stomach and House wasn't her Father…but he was this baby's, just as she was this baby's birth Mother. She had always been open with Rachel about where she came from, but to a four year old it wasn't an important piece of knowledge, not yet. Though Cuddy never for a second deluded herself into thinking that someday it wouldn't have an effect on her. Knowing her real Mother died, that her parents were far too young to have had her in the first place…and she was left with no one.

Cuddy allowed the tears to fall. Her face was already raw with the emotions that seemed to poor out of her every hour since the moment House placed the cold gel onto her stomach. She wiped them away with ferocity and considered going into Rachel's room and snuggling next to her, it was the only thing that came to her mind that might offer some sort of appeasing comfort to her now.

Her feet felt the cold wood floor, and she moved without second guessing herself down the hall to Rachel's closed door.

But she paused…feeling somewhat pathetic, and she knew she would wake her up just by laying on the bed. Her forehead rested against the door, her breath was weakly ragged…in that moment she felt more helpless that she thought possible.

It was a knock on the door, one that she had been anticipating most of the night, that quickened her heart, brought life back to her step as she bridged the gap quickly. Her hand reached for the brass knob and opened up to him…

House stood on the porch in front of her, sweaty and exhausted, but his powerful eyes bored into her. Instantly fixated on her movements as she silently stepped aside to allow him to enter.

"Hey," she spoke in a hushed tone, trying not to wake her closely sleeping daughter. She felt overwhelmed to see him; with happiness and relief that he finally came to her, but also clouded with severe anxiety for what had yet to be spoken between them.

"I woke you up." He mimicked her softness and hobbled slowly inside.

"No…I was awake." She knew right away he was still drunk from when Wilson had messaged her earlier, or maybe he just continued to drink, she thought.

"It's four in the morning."

"Yeah I know."

"You should be asleep."

"Why…so I could be woken by you at four thirty in the morning?" It came out more pointed than she had intended and it did not go unnoticed by him. She watched his face fall even sadder and she immediately wished she could take it back. "Are you okay," she stepped closer to his side, attempting to show him she was by no means angry with him. "You're covered in sweat."

"Healthy exercise."

"Don't tell me you walked here."

"Okay…I won't tell you that."

"House, that's over two miles. You're leg must be excruciating right now." Her hand went to his thigh with concern.

"Ow! Yes it is. Don't stop touching me." House held a hint of a smirk, as he leaned into her touch, trapping her hand between their bodies. Her eyebrows rose with a sigh gracing her lips as she caught onto his tease. "That's the beauty of waking up in a recliner chair still drunk. No pain-"

"-Till tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow."

"And what am I smelling…" Her face came in close to his neck, taking in his current powerful scent. "Gin?"

"Scotch…probably seeping through my pores at the moment." He studied her when she pulled back to look at him again, their faces remained close. House could see the deep shadows under her eyes, covering her faint freckles, but she still looked so beautiful to him; more stunning then any woman he would ever know, and he was once again reminded of how in love with her he would forever be.

And in that moment he successfully replaced the image of her from his haunting dream. The cold stare she had fashioned to him with vehemence was nowhere in her face. He only saw her love, her need for him…it was all he needed to feel like he could handle it all if he just got to keep her…

"I thought you were going to stay at Wilson's." Her voice pulled him from his brief reverie.

"Is that why you waited up for me?"

"I stopped thinking you were going to come awhile ago…but I still couldn't sleep."

"I'm sorry…I should have been here sooner."

"It okay. I'm glad you're here now."

"I needed to see you…kind of what woke me up. Couldn't fight the urge any longer. " His hand found hers and pulled her gently into him. She came to him without pause, his senses instantaneously got lost in the smell of her hair. He placed a kiss on the top of her head; his arms wound loosely around her, his body still tingled from the alcohol coursing through his blood stream.

"You smell." She mumbled into his chest, not able to see the genuine smile that began to pull at the corners of his mouth in response.

Despite everything that was happening in his life, she was able to medicate his fears more than any drug or drink he could recklessly drown inside of. He felt her fingers dig further into his back, holding him tighter against her, as if she were thinking the same thing about him…and they clung to each other in the night of the hallway, giving in to the comfort they could so easily find just by being near. He pulled away to look at her, his hand came up to touch the satin skin of her face, tracing the line of her jaw with his finger. "You've been crying."

"And you've been drinking." She whispered back, "If I had been…I might not have been crying. It was a very…emotional day for both of us."

"Why what happened?" House looked innocently down to her, and was rewarded with the feeling of her hand squeezing his arm in response to his off-colored quip. But he saw the hint of a smile and a slight eye roll briefly cross her face, and he knew he succeeded in at least distracting her a little. "You think asking for a kiss right now would be out of the question."

"Only because your breath stinks worse than your body." She replied, but she drew up on her toes anyway. Her fingers wrapped softly around his neck, and she rewarded him with a brief gentle kiss before she placed her feet flat on the floor.

"That bad huh?" He studied her pursed lips from his odor tickling her senses.

"No…I love the smell of Scotch at five in the morning. "

"Who's the comedian now? " His voice was tender as he toyed with a long strand of her hair, hating how weakened he felt from the enormity of the situation, but trying with all his might to hold onto the burst of strength he felt inside. "How about…you can be done crying… " He caressed her flushed cheek with his thumb, "And I think I can be done with drinking anything for a long time." He swallowed heavily from the taste of his drink of choice threatening to burn a hole in his stomach. "I need a shower."

"I think I'm okay with that." She held his gentle gaze, basking in the way he was fingering her hair, his other hand came down from her face and pressed against the small of her back.

It was the undeniable love she felt still radiating from his stare that soothed her enough to finally ease the last few hours of overbearing stress. She had to remember they were a stronger couple than before, and that maybe this time everything would be alright.

"Come with me. At least to hold onto me. I'm a drunken cripple in need of some assistance." She slyly smiled up at him, but he could still see that the light was lost from her eyes. "We will talk…after I stop smelling like my Father." He leaned closer into her once again, and enveloped her body, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

Cuddy wound her arms around his torso and held onto him, internally chastising herself for not remembering that House's fear of Fatherhood was due largely to the poor relationship he had with his own Dad. Something she also needed to remember…and to accept, if she ever wanted to fully understand his trepidations.

She unfolded from him slightly, pulling up on her toes she found the spot on his neck that always elicited a sigh of contentment from his lips, and kissed it gently, "Let's go." She gave him another, stronger smile, and laced her fingers with his to pull him down the hall.

"Mommy is it time to get up?" Rachel's small voice stopped their movement. She stood in the middle of the hallway, clearly having been observing them for some time.

"No it's not sweetie. House just came by to sleep, let's get you back to bed." She regretfully let go of House's hand and stepped towards her daughter.

"But…" she sniffed; rubbing her nose with the doll she was holding. "I want House to tuck me in."

Cuddy could feel House's emotions before she even chanced to turn back to him. His face expressed sorrow as his mind was internally raging a war on what to do. She knew being around Rachel in his current intoxicated state was the last thing he would need right now. It would only serve to further prove to him that he would turn out to be a Father just like the one he had to endure his whole life.

"It's okay I have this. Go…shower." She stepped closer and kissed his cheek briefly. A reminder that he didn't have to add this minuscule moment to the list of events they had to deal with from the day's drastic turn of events.

House stood statuesquely still, watching as Rachel squirmed and reached her hand out to him from behind her Mothers back. Her big expressive eyes welled when he made no movement to go to her, and her muffled sobs were all he heard before they both disappeared into her bedroom and the door closed behind them.

Just that brief moment...the pain he had caused Rachel felt unbearably crushing. Her sobs echoed inside his mind, and he felt frozen to his spot in the foyer, having no idea which direction to follow next.

He shook his head against it, trying to break free of the sadness he had just inflicted upon a helpless child…just like that in his dream.

He swallowed the pain, his tongue felt like sandpaper and his legs wobbled more than normal as his footing finally carried him to the pitch black bathroom. The door closed behind him, ragged breaths from a weary man was the only sound that filled the cold room. Slowly his clothes were unraveled from his limbs, a candle was struck in order to see just enough to cleanse his body, the faucet was turned, and the water began to steam around him…


It took longer than she had imagined to get Rachel quieted down. Her sobs continued as Cuddy laid her back upon her blankets. She cuddled her. Kept her warmly snug and hummed her favorite song, rubbing her arm softly up and down until her breathing steadied and she drifted to sleep.

House was already in bed when she finally came into her quiet unlit bedroom. The softening moonlight streamed in through the windows, accented House's profile as he stared up at the ceiling, his hands folded over his heart, appearing the picture of calm…but Cuddy knew he was anything but.

Her legs shifted underneath her as she sat next to him on the bed, facing him, her arms came up to wrap her thin robe closer around her body. She mentally pushed aside the need to go to him, throw her arms around him and just go to sleep, forget all of it.

They needed to talk, nothing had yet to be said…and there was so much that desperately needed to be.

After what felt like sometime, House's resonate voice finally broke through the hush that had settled between them. "I don't know...what to say."

"I'm not sure I do either."

"All night since we…" His eyes glanced over to her for the first time since she sat beside him, "It's the only thing I keep coming back too…I don't know what to say to you."

She could hear the ache in his voice, "Is it because…you don't want me to keep this-"

"No." He interrupted without pause. "I don't want that."

Her eyes grew wide from the way his words dripped with sincerity, "You don't?"

"No." House replied softly. "But…I did think about it. After I left the hospital…having to process this on top of everything else wrong…with my head. It seemed logical…and I'm tired of the odds piling up against me."

"What changed you mind?"

"You…" House's eyes wandered down to her abdomen for the first time since he held the ultrasound equipment in his trembling hands many hours before. "This isn't just about me. I know that sentence seems odd coming from my mouth since I spend most of my time thinking the opposite is true. But this…will also be a part of you…something that you thought you would never have. I know what it did to you…when you gave up on that dream. The hold it had on you…and I can't be responsible for wanting to take that away from you all over again. What I want more than anything…is for you to be happy."

Her eyes moistened, his tenderness was so raw it stole her breath away. "And I have been…you have made me happy House. But…don't you know that all I want is the exact same thing for you. I know this isn't something you've ever craved in your life. I would never blame you for feeling that way, and with everything else there is to be scared of right now…" She looked away from him; the tears began to fall despite her strongest efforts as she allowed her biggest fear to finally absorb into her.

"You mean our uncertain future? " He read her mind.

"I…can't imagine doing this without you. I can barely wrap my head around doing…this…" she glanced down to her stomach, "…at all right now."

"Are you saying…that…you don't want it?"

"It's our baby." Her voice broke in a wisp of sound. "Of course I want to keep it. I could never…" She caught her breath, "But is this something I needed in my life…no. I don't want this to be a burden that swallows you…or our relationship. I could never ask for better than what you already give so freely to Rachel. You have been amazing with her… you have always been amazing with her. And I know that it's hard for you, something beyond your comfort, and this…will only be more of that stress. Can you really…handle that?"

"I don't know…" House shook his head and felt ashamed to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be everything that you need…but…the truth is any other man would be better equipped to handle a baby than me."

"You are everything that I need."

"Are you sure…because I can see if Wilson's available."

Her throaty laugh filled the room as she buried her tear streaked face between her hands and removed the rest of the moisture from her cheeks. "I'm not sure Wilson could handle my insanity like you can."

"You're probably right."

"Chase…maybe."

"It's about time you admitted your lust for Captain Australia."

"Sorry it took me so long." She bridged the distance between them and brought her back to rest next to his side against the pillows. "And I'm sorry that this is happening…now."

He turned his head to look at her, "It's not your fault. I believe I played a part in contributing to it all…"

"Yeah…" She sighed in agreement. The foggy repercussions from her lack of sleep invaded her mind with each new minute that past.

"Unless you have something else to share with me tonight."

She narrowed her brows at him with a scoff, "Yes…this baby might come out looking a little darker than the both of us…but you have nothing to be worried about."

"So Foreman too huh? He's so not your type you know."

"You're right…too stoic, not nearly maniacal enough for me." She yawned and turned her head as her eyes began to droop.

"Stoic is good though…when it comes to raising a baby." His soft, careful tone caused her eyes to open to his worry.

"Maybe…but I think love is what matters most…when you have that…at the end of the day everything else falls into place."

Suddenly his dream screamed back at him…her taunting words vibrated within…'Only as much as your capable of loving House…'" His eyes tightly shut against it, fighting the urge to cower from the painful truth.

"House…what is it?"

He turned to her, braving to ask, "Do you really think I'm capable…of opening myself up…enough…"

"Absolutely…you already have." Her fatigued eyes met his uncertainty with only love in her heart. Her lips leaned into his, lingering in the warmth kissing him would always instantly spread through her.

As the night faded into early dawn Cuddy reached for his hand lying beside her thigh and locked his strong palm securely to her own. She pondered the look in his expression. He was just as tired as she was; the long day into night had taken a toll on both of their psyches. She could see his eyes process something, straying from her gaze to study the ceiling while lost in his contemplations.

Then, the bed shifted beneath her as House turned his body to lie on his side, finally facing her quiet observation.

A slight movement caught her attention, as his free hand came into view and his warm tentative fingers began to move the fabric of her cotton shirt, exposing her skin for just a moment before coming to rest in the curve of her stomach…

Knowing the exact spot where the heartbeat sounded softly through the old machine hours before…

"We should sleep." He mumbled with eyes already closing.

Not waiting for her reply, he inched even closer to her side, burying his face in the hair tangled by her shoulder…

His fingers remained splayed protectively over the new life he was now responsible for, as they both fell asleep.