HERE'S THE SECOND BIT. LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND/ OR REQUESTS. I MAY BE ABLE TO WORK SOME MAGIC AND GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE!
Hook was still dreamily gazing off into space when Regina arrived, looking nervous and fidgety. David offered her a cup of coffee, even though he thought she looked as though she'd already had too much caffeine.
"Thank you," she said politely, taking a sip of the cup Snow handed her. Snow stood back, looking somewhat concerned, but as Regina was never one to confide much, she didn't press the matter.
"So… what did you need to pick up?" David asked, pulling out a chair for her.
"What?" she said absently, taking a seat.
"Your text. You said you needed to pick something up," Snow frowned, holding up her phone. Regina blinked.
"I did?"
"Yeah, you did." Snow tossed her the phone. "See?"
Regina raised an eyebrow as she read the text. "Oh… so I did," she said, passing the phone back to Snow. She cleared her throat, trying to summon her usual composure. "I only said that because I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to tell you my idea. I was still thinking about it at the time, and… well, I needed an excuse for dropping by."
"You could have said you wanted pancakes," Neal suggested. Emma threw up her hands again.
"What is it with you and pancakes?" she said. "I feel like that's the only thing you've talked about all day!"
"Your dad makes incredible pancakes," Neal told her solemnly. "I'm a man who respects a good pancake."
"If you've quite finished," Regina said stiffly. Neal and Emma looked at their shoes guiltily, like two children being reprimanded. Regina spared them a disparaging look before continuing.
"I've noticed Henry's been really…. distant, especially these last few weeks. And I know that you guys think that it's just growing pains and teenager stuff, but I know my son. I raised him, and for ten years, it was just me and him—so, yes, I flatter myself that I know him a tad better than you do." She took a deep breath. "And this is more than just being a teenager. Something's going on with him. I don't know what, but there's something weird going on…" She trailed off as Neal silently set a plate of pancakes down in front of her. "Th-thank you," she said in a puzzled tone.
"No problem," Neal said, walking round the table and resting his folded arms on Hook's head. Hook leaned his head slightly from the extra weight, but otherwise seemed not to notice. "Go on."
Regina fiddled with the ring around her middle finger. "I want to send Henry back to Dr. Hopper."
"You what?" Emma said incredulously.
David exchanged an uncomfortable look with Snow. Regina had sent Henry to Archie for therapy back when… no, he wouldn't think about that. This had nothing to do with then; this was about now. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea," he said hesitantly.
Emma's head whipped toward him. "Dad!" she exclaimed, sounding betrayed. "We can't send Henry back there, he'll hate us!"
"Do you think I don't know that?" Regina said sharply. "I wouldn't suggest it if I had a better idea."
Emma pursed her lips, wanting to argue, but Regina was right. "I s'pose," she said in a low voice.
"You sure it's not just girl stuff?" Neal asked, his chin resting on his arms.
"Girl stuff?" Emma and Regina said together, looking at Neal with identical alarmed expressions. Neal blinked a few times.
"You guys didn't know?" he said, sounding genuinely surprised. "He's got it bad for—"
"Grace, we know," Snow said impatiently. David fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"No," Neal frowned. "Ruby."
"Ruby?" Regina hissed, her eyes turning black with fury. "That slut!"
"Regina!" Snow said admonishingly. "She's my friend!"
"Do I give a rat's ass?" Regina flared up, jumping out of her chair.
"Calm down!" Neal looked at her with wide, startled eyes. "Regina, it's nothing to get upset about. It's just a little crush."
Regina glared at him, still breathing very hard through her nose, but she slowly retook her seat. "He's talked to you about this?"
"Yeah," he shrugged. Regina didn't look much reassured, so he added, "Look, Regina, I was fifteen once, too. It happens, it's perfectly normal. Right, David?"
"He's right," David said, taking his turn to soothe Regina. He walked over, pulling out the chair across from her. Kicking Hook's foot off the chair, he said soothingly, "If you still want to have Dr. Hopper check him out, see if he's acting abnormally or something, we can do that. But it may not be time to worry just yet."
Regina nodded slowly, looking slightly more relaxed.
"Feeling better?" Neal asked kindly.
Regina shook her head. "I don't like this whole…girl stuff thing," she grimaced. Emma made a noise of agreement.
"It was going to happen, sooner or later," David said gently, giving her a sad smile.
"Why not later?" Regina grumbled, folding her arms.
"This is later," Emma sighed as she leaned against the counter. "We're going to have to start dealing with him bringing home girlfriends. And one day, we're going to have to deal with him bringing home a fiancé."
"Hmm," Regina said, her mouth thinning into a bitter line. "I'd love to meet the girl brave enough to latch her talons into my son." She smiled cruelly. "I will enjoy crushing her soul beneath my feet."
"Okay, let's…dial it down a few notches," Neal said hesitantly, straightening up. "You sound a little psychotic now."
Regina shrugged, looking considerably cheerier at the thought of psychologically destroying Henry's potential girlfriends, and took up the fork Neal had set down by her pancakes. "I'll make the appointment with Dr. Hopper," she decided, cutting into them. "And in the meantime, we'll just have to keep a closer eye on him. And David, may I congratulate you on these pancakes?" She took another careful bite. "They're positively delightful."
"Thanks," David said, raising his eyebrows at the unexpected compliment. Usually, Regina criticized any food they offered her: it was too salty, too sweet, overcooked, undercooked—whatever she could find to complain about, really. If she was actually satisfied, that had to mean she was feeling better and not just putting up a show. Which was a relief: angry, worried Regina was a little trigger-happy with her fireballs, still.
"D'you ever find your book?" Emma asked, her legs dangling from the counter she sat atop. Regina shook her head, dabbing her mouth.
"No. I'm still looking for it. I have no idea where he could have hidden it. I'm rather starting to wonder if he took it at all—it may be that some moron just broke into my vault and stole from me. In which case, I'll have to nail his hide to my front door to discourage any others." She didn't see David's wince at her casually violent threat as she gathered up her purse and stood up.
"Well, I'll be off then," she announced. She nodded at Neal. "Thank you."
He waved a hand, shrugging. "'S'nothing."
"I'm aware, but thank you all the same. Actually, I'd love to pick your brain over a cup of coffee, sometime. It occurs to me that Henry would talk to you about things he wouldn't say to me or Emma. You may be able to put a few more anxieties to rest. Shall we say—" she consulted her planner, tapping a pen against her lips—"Saturday? Around eight?"
Neal raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Like a date?" he said, making a face.
Regina looked at him with thinly veiled disdain. "Neal, don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather be eaten alive by a crazed badger with rabies than go on a date with you."
His eyebrows jumped. "That's fairly specific."
"Yes, well…" She smiled uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, I just… I can't look at you in that way. Not that you're not a decent human being and all, and I'm sure some women find you attractive, but me personally?" She flopped her arms, shrugging. "Meh."
David would have expected Neal to be at least a little offended, considering that Regina basically told him she found it baffling that any woman would find him attractive; but Neal just smiled lightly and said, "Ah, that's okay."
Regina gave him a strange look, but twitched a smile at him. "Eight this Saturday, then? At Granny's."
"Granny's," he nodded.
Regina nodded a silent farewell to the rest of them, gave Hook a disdainful look (as was her custom), and walked out calmly. David blew out a breath, closing the door behind her.
"Regina Mills, ladies and gentlemen," he said sweeping his arm out. "Neal, thanks for calming her down, some. Probably saved us a visit to the hospital for third-degree burns."
"No trouble," Neal shrugged.
"And Hook, thanks for not leering or making inappropriate comments or just being yourself, really. That seemed to put her in a better mood."
"Ruby…" he sighed dreamily, apparently not hearing David at all.
David looked at him tiredly for a moment, and rubbed his eyes, sighing. "We should probably make two appointments with Dr. Hopper."
