Chapter 28
Harm and Mac's home
High Meads road
Beckton
London, UK
1708 local
I don't know why, but I'm extremely nervous. The family service department of Washington has handed Mattie's case over to the local authorities here since their handling it themselves would be unpractical with Mattie and me here in London. The officer in charge has announced his visit for tonight and I just don't want to fuck this up.
I pace around the living room, while mum and Mac watch me with mild amusement. I'm glad that someone at least has some fun around here. "Ok, let's go through the list again, ok?" Mum gets up from the sofa. "Harmon Rabb, stop walking a hole in the floor, you are starting to make me seasick. Now sit and calm down, everything will be fine!"
"I hate it when people are late for meetings!" I say and Mac chuckles next to me. "Says the man who is constantly late for everything!" Well, not all of us can have a build in clock but even the watch on my wrist tells me the officer is late. Don't they realize that people like me get nervous if they are late? After all it's not like we are meeting to discuss the weather here.
At almost quarter past five the doorbell rings and I jump up from the sofa and wipe my suddenly moist palms on my black jeans. Let's get this over with. I open the door and extend my hand as I was taught. "Good afternoon, sir. Come on in."
The guy acts as if he checks out the building from the outside before walking into the hallway and our living room. "Good evening Mr. Rabb." I introduce him to Mac and mum but he doesn't seem to be impressed at all.
I offer something to drink, but this guy is all business, no pleasantries. From his looks I'd say a 'good morning' is already a miracle coming from him. We sit down with him in the armchair, while the three of us share the couch. "Mr. Rabb, the papers here don't say anything about Ms. MacKenzie living in your household."
I swallow and glance at Mac for a moment, hoping she won't go ballistic again because I haven't yet informed child care of my living arrangements. Clearing my throat I start to explain. "I'm sorry Mr. Wallace. I suppose Washington family services sent these papers over to you and at the time they were filed I did indeed live alone. My fiancée and I moved in together when we got to London a couple weeks ago."
Without my noticing Mac and I have somehow linked hands and she gives me a reassuring squeeze. Wallace however scribbles around on his notepad and just mutters an 'I see' before sighing theatrically.
"So, Mr. Rabb, I take it you and Ms. MacKenzie are in an intimate relationship then?" Excuse me? What business of him is that? I have to remind myself that I need his support to get Mattie not only here but to keep her here as well. I'm starting to really dislike the guy. After all he hasn't yet asked me or us a single question regarding Mattie herself.
"Ms. MacKenzie and I will be getting married soon, sir. So, yes we do have a very serious and stable relationship." What we do behind closed bedroom doors is really none of his business. Another 'I see' and he keeps scribbling around on his notepad.
"Ms. MacKenzie, how well do you know the young girl that is supposed to live here in the not too distant future?" Mac looks at me for a moment and I nod for her to be honest. "I've come to know Mattie mostly through Harm… uh, Captain Rabb, at first, while she was his ward. We talked and spent some evenings together, playing games, watching movies… And I visited her at the hospital often, ever since she had her accident a few months ago."
I look at her as if she'd grown a second head. I didn't even know she had been to see Mattie at the hospital. She never told me about that. Wallace grunts something I don't understand and scribbles some more. "And you are alright with Mattie living here with you and Mr. Rabb?"
He stresses the Mr.… probably because Mac mentioned my rank. "I'm not alright with Mattie living here, sir…" she makes a pause and I have to grin. He opened that door for her and if Mac has learned anything in the courtroom, it is how to argue your case to the best of your abilities. "I'm very much looking forward to her coming here. It means a lot to Harm and me that she comes here. And it means even more to both of us that she is still alive and on her way to get better." For the first time he seems impressed… slightly. He goes on asking her about her work and she tells him about her time in the Corps and about her new job at the embassy, before he turns to me again.
"Mr. Rabb, the papers I was sent by Washington family services state that your position in the military will take you out of country very often. How do you plan to make sure that there will be sufficient supervision at home while you're gone to places all over the world?"
I groan inwardly and remind myself of my good discipline and training. "Mr. Wallace, as Force Judge Advocate of Europe I'll be in country most of the year. My work consists of paperwork and conferences which are mostly held in London. And during the few days I'll be gone, my fiancée will be around to look after Mattie. And even though Mac has her own job I'm pretty sure we will do fine on that front." After all, Mattie isn't a baby and she took care of herself for months before anybody ever noticed she was all alone.
Next he wants to see the house and complains about there only being one bathroom for three people. He tells us that it is quite normal but doesn't spare us his opinion on the fact that he thinks it's highly insufficient. He keeps jotting things on that damn notepad without ever telling us why.
He doesn't only inspect Mattie's room, but Mac's and my bedroom as well, which I find unnecessary and downright rude. "A pilot huh?" He gestures to my dress whites hanging on the closet door. I give him a tight smile. "And a lawyer, sir." He nods in his unimpressed and almost bored manner and wanders around the house, all the time writing on that damn notepad.
"I was in the Navy, too. Glad I'm out. All that jet fuel in the air on that damn boat." I decide not to comment his very undignified remark and show him the little office we have created with an extra desk for Mattie and bookshelves for her course books.
After the tour through the house he keeps on asking about where Mattie will go to school, how we are going to manage the fact that she will have a hard time walking and what we have done so far to ensure her medical needs are met as soon as she gets here. I think we can finally convince him that we aren't about to destroy a young girl's life by being associated with the military. He also informs us, that Mattie's dad gave his full support to us taking care of his daughter which will create problems for Wallace should he decide we aren't suitable, but I don't think we did anything wrong.
In the end, our getting custody of Mattie isn't in his hands anyway. Washington family services has long since made that decision, especially since Tom has especially requested that Mattie comes to live with me.
All three of us accompany him to his car and he promises to call as soon as possible with his decision.
Harm and Mac's home
High Meads road
Beckton
London, UK
1836 local
Mum hovers around the kitchen while I prepare dinner. Mac is still at the office and called in to tell us she was getting in slightly late. It was another long day at the office and with Mattie flying in tomorrow, I was hoping to get a quiet evening. Mum obviously doesn't think so, if the look she gives me is anything to go by.
I look up to her and she simply keeps staring at me. "Ok, mum. What is it?" I can't help it, that woman is really irritating me.
A small smile plays around her lips and I have a hard time stopping myself from strangling her. "Nothing. Can't a mother look at her son?" Oh yeah, the innocent mum number… yeah, right. "I guess so, but you usually don't. So what's bothering you?"
Mum looks out the window and then back at me with a sigh. "You seem very different." I chuckle at that. "What's so funny about that?" It will never cease to amaze me, how mum can still give me THAT look, considering my age. All of a sudden I feel like the five-year-old again that stole the cookie jar from the shelf. "Uh, nothing."
Mum leans her back to the counter and crosses her arms in front of her, while I keep stirring dinner. Good thing too, cause that gives me something to do. "Do you love her?" I almost drop my spoon at that.
Deciding this situation needs my attention more than our dinner does, I turn off the stove and look at her. She doesn't seem to be angry or worked up about anything. I won't have trouble answering her question. It should be obvious that I love Mac more than anything else. "I do!"
My answer brings a smile to her face and I suppose I didn't yet step on any mines. "Everyone can see how you feel about her. And how she feels about you." So where's the problem then? I ask her and she shakes her head 'no'.
"There isn't a problem, Harm. This is just your old mother trying to make sense of things." Ha, mum getting old. That would be the day. I'll be old before her. Nobody would suspect her to be the 65 she is. "I'm just so happy that you've finally decided to settle down with the right girl and that you are going to have a family of your own. Mattie will come and live with you, maybe you will even give me and Frank a couple grand-kids now."
At her mentioning grand-kids I sober up and look at the floor. Mum has always been at me to settle down, but she never gave me lectures about wanting a grandchild. And now it is very likely, that I will never father a child of my own.
"Mum, let's sit down in the dining room for a moment, ok?" I lead her over without explaining myself and she follows me without a word. Only the frown on her face tells me that she is suspicious.
"Mum, you know I love Mac, right?" She nods at that. Well, so far this has been easy, no big surprises. "Harm, I've known that for years. And don't give me that surprised look." I look out the window again. Yes, I've been in love with Mac for years and we have wasted so much time, and maybe even more than just time. Maybe we gave away the chance of having our own children, of the boy or girl with her looks and my brains or vise versa.
"Ever since you first told me about her it was so obvious. And now you will finally start a life together, with everything that comes with it. And with Mattie here, you'd always have a babysitter, or Frank and I could move to London…" I hold up my hand to stop her before she gets on a roll for sure.
She stops talking immediately and stares at me. How do I tell her that Mac and I might never have our own children or even one child? Most mothers dream about having grand kids one day and I try the safest approach I can come up with, since I'm not entirely comfortable telling her something so very personal about Mac. Especially since I never talked to Mac about telling anyone.
"Mum, I've been meaning to talk to you about this. I don't want you to advertise your wish for grandchildren when Mac is around." That earns me a strange look. Well, that was to be expected.
"What do you mean? Doesn't she want children? Or is it wrong of your mother to want a grandchild she can spoil?" Boy, why does mum have to make everything so damn difficult all the time? I can imagine her with my son or daughter on her arm and yeah, I can see my mom walking down a department store aisle, hundreds of bags under her arms, loaded with toys and other stuff and still grinning.
But that's not the point here. "Mum, no! I never said that. We would both love to have kids in the future, but sometimes it just doesn't happen." That's about as far as I'll go about this. She doesn't need to have the whole story.
But mum has always been pretty good at reading between the lines. "Oh, no! Are you sure?" I look at the road outside the window again and shake my head. "Nothing's for sure. But if it happens it will be a miracle and that's all I'm going to say, mum. All I want is for you to quit talking about grandkids and the like."
I didn't expect this, but mum covers my hands in hers and gives them a hard squeeze. "Harm, I love you. And I love Mac. All I want is for you to be happy, and if I get that, I cannot and will not ask for more."
Mac comes home soon after that, while mum and me put the finishing touches to tonight's dinner. We enjoy the meal and after that mum makes an early excuse… something about meeting a friend because of her gallery or something. I don't quite buy it, but getting alone time with Mac before a teenager comes bursting into our lives is fine with me.
Mac and me settle onto the sofa, just holding each other, with some soft jazz playing in the background. I sigh contentedly and draw her even closer to me for a kiss. With mum here, I didn't dare kiss her properly earlier and I'm thirsting for her. "I missed you today."
Mac draws me nearer for another kiss and her enthusiasm shows me, that I'm not the only one who's desperate here.
A moment later, Mac takes my hand in hers and gets up from the couch, dragging me over to in front of the stereo. "Dance with me!" It's a simple request and I feel completely unable to resist her. I've never been able to deny her anything like that and we fall into a comfortable step with each other. I hold her close, letting my right hand rest just above her buttocks and my left hand in hers, which we hold close to our bodies almost as if we wanted to touch each other's hearts.
I never thought that being together with a woman could feel so overwhelmingly normal to me. Never before Mac did I ever dance with a woman in my own living room. With Mac these moments are like little treasures that need to be kept safe from the outside world, or rather, it feels like we are in our own little world here, with nothing and none disturbing us.
I'm happy we're home, because Mac's closeness really does things to me that aren't meant for the public. Within minutes my need for her grows painfully and Mac isn't exactly idle either. She starts to rain kisses down my throat toward the open collar of my shirt, where she finds my collarbone very interesting.
A groan escapes one of us and if she keeps doing this I won't be held accountable for what will come next. My mouth finds hers and within seconds I loose myself in her taste and the kiss. My hands wander up her back and underneath her t-shirt.
If this doesn't stop soon, I won't be able to stop, especially since she has started massaging me through my pants. "Sarah, please…" I trail off because I don't have enough breath to finish a complete sentence. She tugs on my lower lip and starts exploring me again, her hands never stopping their ministrations.
My knees give out the moment she opens my fly and wraps her fingers around me. I drag her down onto the floor with me and before I can change my mind, she pulls on my shirt. "Please what?" She whispers into my ear at the same time… and what was it I wanted again? I can't remember with her so close and touching me the way she does.
All that is important right now is her touch and how I can increase our closeness. My hands aren't idle either and within moments my eyes wander down her absolutely perfect body, her beautiful breasts that are already high erect. I need to taste them and turn her over onto her back to get better access. Her moan tells me I'm doing something good here. And… oh boy, I just hope I'll never stop being crazy about her.
I'm so busy tasting and lavishing her nipples, I don't even realize it when she drags my pants and boxers down to my knees, while I fumble around on her jeans, trying to get them off as fast as possible.
Somewhere at the back of my brain I realize we are in the living room, but another part of me tells that part to shut up and go with the flow. I'm so desperate by now, that I'm pretty sure I couldn't walk even if I wanted to.
We both make short work of the remainders of our clothing and even though I'm usually not the kind of guy to rush through lovemaking, I just can't stand to not be inside her for another second. We both sigh in happiness once she is wrapped all around me and I start my slow movements, wanting to drag it out for her as long as possible.
Her legs wrap themselves around me, drawing me even closer and it's almost too much for me. I slow down a bit and start lavishing the valley between her breasts and she throws her head back in pleasure. I'll never cease to admire her passion or her beauty. I don't know what god thought when he created her, but he was definitely showing off.
It doesn't take long for her to protest my stilled movement and she tries to get me into motion again. I comply only too willingly and within moments I'm as close to the edge as I can stand. Reaching between us I find her pleasure bud and start massaging it in that way I know she loves and I get her there just in time for my own release starts to wash over both of us, followed by her contracting muscles around me.
The strain from our lovemaking doesn't allow me to support myself any longer and I crash down next to her, immediately drawing her close to me so I can hold her. I can't believe how out of breath I am, my head still doing cartwheels.
"Wow!" That's all she says when she props her head onto my chest. It became her most favorite place after our lovemaking the first night we were together like this and I love to hold her like that. In a way it's almost better than the lovemaking itself. But only almost.
She leans up onto her elbow and looks down at me in amusement. "Please tell me, we didn't just do it on the floor!" Her face is a strange mixture of horrified, humiliated and amused. I have to laugh at that. Yeah, we really are a desperate pair. Laughing I draw her close for a kiss and answer her question. "I would, but you know as officers of the court we both know it would be a lie! I guess we got… a little carried away." And boy do I really feel a blush creeping up my neck?
Mac laughs at that and swats me on my chest, rubbing the spot lightly a second longer and if she doesn't stop that soon, she will only add more facts to the statement she just made. I place a hand above hers to still her movement and she seems to understand. I love it when we are like this, I ache for her as soon as we're disconnected and usually loving her a second time would be my primary agenda, simply because I love to see her like that.
But for once, I want us to simply be together, holding onto each other. We snuggle together on the floor like we would on our bed and even though we neither have a blanket or any clothes, we just lie there. It amuses me that it doesn't bother us at all.
Mac looks up when I start chuckling and frowns. "I just thought that it's a good thing we still have this place to ourselves. I don't even want to imagine what would happen with Mattie walking in on us like this." Mac joins in my laughing and swats me again, for what I'm not sure. After all it IS a horrifying idea.
The thought of Mattie makes me sober up quickly though. I trace Mac's cheekbone with my finger and wonder whether or not she knows what we will have to deal with from tomorrow on. "A lot of things are going to change tomorrow." I don't make it a question. It would be pointless, since Mac and I both know the truth of it.
Once Mattie bounces around this house, it won't just be Mac and me, doing whatever we please and when. But once again Sarah MacKenzie stuns me by leaning down and brushing her lips only lightly over mine before leaning back again. "I know. And I wouldn't have it any other way!"
