Drew,
We're here.
Months leading up to this have made this too shocking to believe was happening. No, it couldn't be today.
Today was like the day at the end of the summer where you must start school once more. You know it is coming. You spent the weeks before getting school supplies together. You and your friends have complained about it, and you set your alarm for it the night before.
But, as the alarm goes off, there is a feeling of shock that runs through you.
It actually happened. The day came. School was starting in a few hours. The freedom of "someday" had been destroyed by the shrill sound of the alarm that officially ended your summer vacation.
And that was what I felt as I stood in my grey army jumpsuit.
The fear hit as I realized today was the day that I got my answer to the never-asked question that was lurking in the thoughts of everyone.
Would President Snow actually let him go?
Or would Oaklea never taste freedom again?
I couldn't walk. So I just stood there.
I watched the preparation.
It was four AM on December 18th, the day of the wedding between Rose and Beaumont.
We were going to keep things easier, covert, and we were going to get to the President's mansion, capture him, and get my Oaklea back.
I should have been excited. Part of me was. But it was buried deep behind the girl afraid of what would happen. It was buried beneath the anxiety and the paralyzing image of a coffin in which the boy I loved was gone from me forever.
My body was shaking, and nothing could calm me. I didn't walk away. I didn't talk to people. I just stood there, letting it all unfold.
It was deemed that I was not "suitable" for this mission.
And it was clear why.
I was emotionally unstable. I was wanted dead by all Capitol citizens, not just President Snow. My skills, while good, were not the best. I was a sniper when they needed foot soldiers. I did not belong out in the field right now.
But, at the same time, I did.
This was my Oaklea. This was the guy I was completely in love with. The one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The one that I would do absolutely anything for. The one that I would die for if it came down to it.
This was my battle. My fault. President Snow wanted to torture me. He had already lost the war. I was his last chance to do what he really wanted and hurt me, and he held all of the cards.
Could I send someone else to handle my mess?
Everything was swirling around me too fast after months of going too slow, and I couldn't keep up.
Without realizing it, I began to dream of him. I began to think of what he would say to me when I got him back. I pictured the way his kiss would feel. I wondered if his skin was the same. If he had a new scar like I did.
My eyes closed tightly, letting the world slip away. No, trying to make the world slip away.
But it wasn't working. The world was still here, and it was still time.
Everyone was starting to leave. The camp was being abandoned. There would be people sticking around, though not many, and I was expected to be one of them. I would sit around with Loco, living today like we had lived all of these others. Loco would smoke. I would take a few drinks. And Future would show her disapproval.
But today was not every other day, and I couldn't live it like that.
I needed to be the first one to see him. I couldn't wait until he had been washed up, his hair dyed again, and the questions they wanted to ask him answered. I couldn't just sit around here, not knowing if he was alive or if they were discussing how to explain his death to me.
Suddenly, I could see it all. Alecca coming into the room I was kept in. He would look at me with pity and think back to his relationship with Future, suddenly thankful for it. He would admire and appreciate his girlfriend more as he looked at me, knowing that I would never be able to do the same with Oaklea. Alecca would sit across from me and explain it in detail, every word breaking me further.
I was a card house. A blow, and I would fall down.
And I would never be able to get back up without Oaklea…
"Are you alright, Drew?"
It was Jennings, a soldier who was usually taking care of me for Ramma.
I nodded, not saying anything, and they walked on.
And then it happened.
I felt a sharp and sudden pain from the bee sting on my arm, and my eyes flew to it, jumping out of shock. The pain grew and grew, spreading. My voice couldn't work due to the shock, and I let out a yelp as it took over my body.
My knees failed me, bringing me to the snow-covered ground with a thud.
And then it was done.
The pain was gone.
I was gone…
"Drew?"
Alecca now.
I looked up.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I have to do what I have to do," the words were simple but held so much.
"Gear up then. Let's go get your boyfriend."
He thought that was what I meant. He thought that was what Drew must have wanted. It was all I could think about for months. Of course I would want to be there, right? He had seen this coming, and he knew that he would probably have to let me come.
Alecca thought he knew what Drew wanted.
But letting me come was the last thing that Drew would have wanted…
Oaklea,
The wedding. It was all around me.
People surrounded me. Reminding me what to say. Touching up my hair color. Adjusting my brown contacts. Styling my hair. Getting me in my tux.
Everything seemed to be spinning around me as the day progressed.
They woke me up at eight in the morning, and, for the last three hours, I have been tortured to get ready for what should be the happiest day of my life, the day that I would marry the one that I love.
But the one that I love is out there somewhere in the middle of a Rebel camp. It is most certainly not the one climbing into a wedding dress and wearing a ring that I had given her.
But that was the one I was marrying today. That was the one that I would have to pledge my life to on national television. That is the one I will have to kiss and spin around the ballroom at the reception. That is the one that I will have to get on a plane with for our "honeymoon" and never return with.
I would have to spend the rest of my life with Rose.
The thought made my lavish "Wedding Day" breakfast want to climb back up my throat.
This was not how our wedding day would be, I thought. I had been thinking that since we began planning.
It wouldn't be so over the top. The ring would be less showy, and there would be no cameras to show the entire world one of the most intimate moments of our lives. It wouldn't take six wedding planners to create, and the guest list would not be picked solely from who was in the magazine of Panem Today. We would have a flower girl we actually knew instead of a girl we had never met but looked adorable. I would know who the heck my groomsmen were, and I would not have to sit here while they decided if I needed lipstick or not!
Every day, I longed to marry Drew more and more.
No, I longed just for Drew more and more! I would do anything to hold her in my arms, just to look at her face and know that she is alright. That she is safe…
An actress waltzed in, asking Nicolt her lines for the millionth time. She was going to play my mother.
My eyes drifted away from the commotion, and I looked out the window to the beautiful terrace where my wedding would take place so soon. Everyone in the Capitol would be able to see it, and they would all be here or all be watching TV nearby to watch it. The terrace was protected so that no one could get to it unless you came from inside, and there were cameras positioned everywhere to show everyone every moment of our "perfect wedding day".
"Alright, they have finished with the bride! I repeat, finished with the bride!" someone called out, and everyone went into overdrive to finish with me. Make-up was practically being thrown on me. They hurriedly finished my hair and shoved me into my tux.
Everyone began to circle me to see if I was completely done. There was a murmur of people discussing my appearance, and then there seemed to be an approving answer because they all hurried out to go and work on their other Wedding Day-jobs.
Nicolt pulled away from me, her eyes still running over me as she thought about if I was really ready for my last and most important appearance.
"You look wonderful," she smiled, adjusting her hair nervously.
Nicolt was dressed as she had been since the proposal. Pink dress with white lace. Heart lipstick. Complicated, powder pink up-do. Light, pink-themed make-up.
She hadn't changed, but she seemed like she had.
She knew this was probably the last time I would see her unless it was decided she also come along, and she was sad about it.
"Someone wants to say goodbye," Nicolt smiled, and I looked around to see Isis, who had been working with Rose during the engagement.
Isis smiled, her eyes watering, and she rushed towards me as she reached out her arms for a hug. I filled the gap between us, hugging her close as I felt some of the golden glitter from her gown fall on me.
"I wanted to tell you goodbye," she nodded, "I'm leaving. Now actually."
"Where are you going?" I asked, and she opened her mouth before hesitating.
"The war is ending, Oak Tree. You know it as much as I do. I'm not sticking around here for it. I'm leavin'," she seemed even more sad, "I just hope you're okay at the end of this."
I didn't say anything, just hugged her again, and she brushed off the glitter from my suit.
"Goodbye," she smiled sadly, and she turned around, walking off.
I watched her go sadly, and I was reminded once more that this really was the ending…
"Are you ready?" Nicolt hooked her arm around mine, and I faked a sad smile.
"As ready as I will ever be," I nodded, and I began to lead her towards the Terrace.
But then there was someone else at the door when I opened it.
President Snow.
"I would like to speak to you before the wedding."
I looked to Nicolt, who slipped out of my grasp and hurriedly left us alone to talk as he wanted.
I was now alone with President Snow, the man who had made my life a living hell for the last few months. He had left me afraid to do anything in fear that he would kill me or the ones that I loved. I was his little slave, doing whatever he said whenever he said it.
My jaw was tightening as I looked at him.
"I have a plan for you, Oaklea. I have for a very long time," his eyes ran over me like a snake looks at his prey.
This was always his plan then…
To have me marry Rose when I loved Drew! To spend the rest of my life with his brat of a daughter who I hated!
I could have killed him then as I looked at him.
President Snow could see that I wanted to kill him, and it made him smile.
"Let's not keep my daughter waiting. To the wedding," he nodded, and I glared at him as I followed after him.
