Okay, guys, I'm sorry that this ones a little late but I was having trouble trying to write this in a satisfying manner. I've recently started my A levels in sixth form with Sociology, Humanities, English Language and Philosophy (which takes up a lot of my time throughout some days) and with that my minds been rather more focused on my work than this, so as a result of my studies, my updates will most likely take a larger amount of time than usual... which has always been rather slow anyway, so I am sorry if that causes any inconvenience. I hope that you guys will all stick with me though.
Now I'm not fully satisfied with this chapter as I feel that it has a childish style to it, but by UK time its rather late and I'm tired and, as I mentioned before, my mind has really been much more focused on sixth form. I still hope that its all right for you folks though. Okay, enjoy! :D
To The Brink. Recovery: Even Jedi Cry.
Obi-Wan Kenobi staggered down the dimly lit hallway in a drunken manner, right hand softly grazing the smooth baby blue walls as if caressing a scar over irritated skin.
His normally bright azure eyes had lost their familiar twinkle of wry amusement and sarcasm and were now instead replaced with a glassy and haunted gaze. Bloodshot whites were visible as were the bright pink rims surrounding the normally twinkling azure, and dry tear tracks marked his tanned cheeks.
The troubled Jedi Master was finding it abundantly difficult to fall asleep. Each time his eyes closed, his mind would torment him, projecting the images of the past few days before him as if his mind, out of some cruel trick, had burned the images onto the inside of his eyelids.
He didn't know where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to see someone. Someone who would be able to help him cope and be there every step of the way beside him in the mist.
Someone who had been there for him all those years ago when he had lost someone dear to him.
It had been two days since Satine Kryze had been restored to the Mandalorian throne as duchess. Two days since Vizsla has escaped after severely wounding two clones.
The beautiful blonde had been beside Obi-Wan for the entire day after the battle and her recovery. Yes, she had been healed by Obi-Wan, but it had left some damage to him from the use of even his own health to heal her from her should be fatal wound. As a result, they along with the clones who had been injured in battle were laid to recovery in the med wing, Obi-Wan and Satine bonded together, life forces mingling and dancing in tandem as they worked to repair each other equally. Obi-Wan's partial life force that he had given to Satine transferred back to him after Satine had had her rest.
After that she had remained with him as he lay in bed that night, tossing and turning, gruelling screams tearing from his throat as the white, crisp sheets tangled around his legs and were crushed tightly in his hands in their death like grip, knuckles turning bone white from the grip.
She had been hoping that Obi-Wan would be okay this night.
Cleary she had been wrong when a light rapping came from the heavy double doors and she had opened them to reveal a half asleep, crying Obi-Wan leaning against the wall and gazing at her earnestly with bloodshot azure eyes.
He didn't need to tell her his thoughts. She read the silent plea in his eyes.
Stepping aside and gently wrapping her dainty fingers around his lower arm, she pulled him steadily indoors, peeking her head outside before stepping back and silently closing the door behind her.
After carefully helping him towards the bed and gently sitting him down on it she retreated towards the small kitchen inside her suite and produced him a glass of fresh water. The Jedi Master took the offering within shaking hands and brought the glass to his lips, relishing the feeling of the cool liquid slipping down his raw and tight throat.
He jolted as if electrocuted when he felt a hand softly placed on his lower back, the glass nearly jutting out of his hands as he did so. Turning his auburn head to the woman beside him he gazed at her tenderly opening his mouth to speak but failing to convene any words to her.
Rosy lips upturned as Satine gently took his warm and larger hand in her own, "I'm right here, Obi," she whispered gently. "I'm not going anywhere."
Tear droplets crawled their way out from the corners of his eyes and trailed slowly down his now blossom pink cheeks. "The images," he croaked, throat loosening ever so slightly to allow him the few words he needed to say. "they keep returning. I can't close my eyes at night. They're haunting me."
"You need to let them go."
"I can't!" he all but yelled in a strangled sob, burying his face in his palms, fingers curling and grasping loose and damp wayward strands of thick ginger hair. "My head is pounding from the voices reverberating inside my skull. My skin is constantly covered in an ice cold sweat from the very thought and visions about the actions I committed. I fear the dreams that plague me of what might have been. What I could have done to you in the process."
"You didn't go down that road. You didn't kill Vizsla."
"No, but I wanted to," the auburn Jedi answered, bitterness laced his words. He sighed. "Jedi aren't supposed to fear. But I fear many things. I feared what might have happened. I fear what still could. And I feared hurting those I am most close to or losing them. And I know that my master will be admonishing me in some way right now that I should focus on the here and now, but I can't help it."
Satine reached and touched his cheek tenderly, bringing his head away from staring at the ground up to face her own cerulean gaze. "Those who you care for are still here for you. Anakin and Ahsoka have left to track Vizsla, and he has left his bond open to you to speak with you should you need him. Even though he isn't with you in person at this very moment, he is with you spiritually. I'm here for you."
"Satine, I'm afraid if those dreams of what could have happened may still occur. It isn't over." He shook his head solemnly. "I'm still afraid of what I could do to you."
There was a pause in the air, the reality of the situation tingling between them. "I'm not," the blonde broke the silence, "okay?" She kissed his lips tenderly, breathing the same words against his lips again before pressing hers gently to his once more, feeling the tension leave Obi-Wan's rigged form slowly as he gently deepened the kiss, pressing his lips back harder and gently prodding for her to accept the invite. Satine responded instantly, parting her lips against his and feeling his tongue run along hers, poking and stroking cautiously, arms wrapping around her smaller frame under her arms, hands interlocking at her lower back as hers slid gently up his neck and feeling her fingers weave into his hair. He sighed in contentment as he felt the tips of her fingers gently stroke his scalp calming him with soft tingles of pleasure and serenity.
After a few more short moments of their passionate embrace they slowly tore their lips away from each other, however, they left their arms locked around each other, holding each other as close as possible, Satine's body against his. The feeling of how her body fitted perfectly against his stirred thoughts within him, warring with his desire to know her on all levels.
With a deep sigh and closing his eyes he pushed those forbidden thoughts away; this was far enough forbidden. He had already verged on an obsession with protecting her as he noticed Anakin seemed to have with Senator Amidala. Obi-Wan knew his own attachment to Satine was dangerous enough and he did not want it going into any deeper waters.
He would leave whatever the Force had for him to decide what to do.
"Stay with me," he breathed, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, brushing his beard against her porcelain skin, whiskers scratching tenderly between her shoulder and neck as he inhaled deeply his senses becoming as clouded and intoxicated as his mind was from her natural scent of vanilla. "Please. I don't want to be alone."
'You're always welcome here with me, Obi,' Satine pleaded he had caught her silent reply. "I will always be there for you. I'll never leave you." Her arms tightened around him, and in quick response, Obi-Wan, the man she loved with all of her heart, buried his face deeper between her shoulder and neck before he pressed his lips just below her ear and another one lower down her neck before pressing his nose and forehead there, slowly moving his head up and down, the edge of his nose brushing along her sensitive skin tenderly, sending chills of slight pleasure and excitement throughout her entire body.
"Let's get you to sleep,"' Satine stood up with him after untangling herself from his warm embrace and pulled the covers back before helping him get in the king size bed, her following suit on the other side.
The moment she was in the warmth of the bed once more Obi-Wan instantly turned and curled into her, one arm around her waist, pulling her securely to him as he laid his head on the plush turquois pillow with his nose buried inside her cascading golden locks.
Satine suppressed a sigh from escaping her lips. It felt like a stab to her heart to feel and see Obi-Wan's guilt and vulnerability displayed so visibly to everyone around him. Each time she looked into those haunted eyes, saw his gaunt and pain-filled face and heard his cracked and low voice it cracked her heart, bringing it closer to shattering completely.
Satine, however, knew understood what her heart wanted her to do, and what Qui-Gon would want her to do should he not get through to his stubborn former padawan. Their love for each other would be enough strength for Obi-Wan to make it through this. He just needed to find it once more – his love for her and everything and one else he held dear to his mending heart.
Love can ignite the stars.
Each of them – Satine, Anakin and Ahsoka would help him get through this.
They had to.
I know, mushy right? I wanted to be nice to Obi though and give him and Satine some nice moments. There will be a few of those moments between these two that MAY get more intense. Maybe... The Force shall tell him what it wants to help him recover.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and, as always, I would love to hear any feedback from you. Enjoy life, people. :)
