I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon and isn't that just a little bit sad?

I head over to Sheldon's apartment, bored, only to hear the guys ribbing Sheldon. That really isn't anything new.

They were mocking us.

Well, that is new.

I never really minded them making fun of Sheldon before. But, now it's different. Obviously different.

I prove my point that we aren't just playing a big joke on everyone, then find that I am in violation of rule 7. Maybe it is a good thing that he wrote them down... I'm not gonna tell him that though. No need to inflate his ego any more than it already is.

We are going out though. On a real date.

That sounds stupid coming from a full-grown woman, but most of my dates just seemed to be something the guy had to suffer through to get to third base. Prefunctionary, Sheldon calls it.

Usually I'm worried that the guy will screw it up. He'll push me too far physically too fast, or he is a jerk, or I turn him into a jerk.

Now I'm scared this won't work. This has the potential to be something really great. I just don't wanna screw this up.


Penny was slowly walking up the stairs to her apartment, second guessing everything that she did on her audition for a tampon commercial. Ah the glamorous world of Hollywood.

She was fully intent on going home, blowing off vintage video game night, and soaking in the tub for at least a full hour.

That was until she heard the boys. All four of them seemed to be there. Three of them seemed intent on making fun of Sheldon until he cried, or tried to blow up their minds. You never could tell what he was gonna do until he does it. Penny should have shrugged it off. She should have just gone into her apartment, content with the knowledge that Sheldon will eventually get fed up with them and banish them all from his presence until they can apologize. It was obviously a private conversation, based on how they were talking.

Never listen to private conversations. You will never hear anything good about yourself.

Penny believes this, she truly does.

She also believes that if you are screaming your conversation so that it can be heard through your front door that it is no longer private. It's open season.

So she stood there and listened and refused to feel guilty about it.

"You're telling me that you and Penny, the cheesecake scented goddess from across the hall, are an item? A physical item? One that hugs and kisses and strokes each others naughty bits?" Classy Howard. Really classy.

"I fail to see how the shift in Penny's and my relationship has anything to do with you, but yes." Sheldon confirmed.

"Dude, how did that happen? Was she drunk?" Raj asked.

"Good question. She does like her alcohol." Howard added.

"Don't make her seem like a drunk, Howard." Leonard put in.

"I'm not!" Howard sounded offended, "I'm just trying to figure out what universe I woke up in this morning because it is not the same one I was in last night if Sheldon and Penny are together."

"Gentlemen, this conversation is beneath our intelligence. Can we please begin vintage video game night?" Sheldon was exasperated.

Penny slightly opened the door. Sheldon immediately noticed but somehow he read her mind and ignored her.

"Seriously, what did you do?" Howard asked, "Because I have been after that sweet piece of ass for almost three years and she never showed any interest in smart guys."

"Maybe because I went after the smartest of them all? And he's a doctor to boot." Penny stated as she causally strolled into the room with Sheldon in her sights.

She ignored the faint apologies that Howard was stammering out she headed straight to Sheldon a smile on her face.

Then she pulled him down for a kiss. It was like kissing a stone at first, and Penny slowly encouraged him to participate. When it was obvious that he was not a willing participant, she backed away.

And looked at an angry Sheldon.

"If you insist on violating the rules, I wonder why you even agreed to them in the first place." This time he smiled before she could blink.

Bastard.

"What are you talking about?"

"Guideline seven of our relationship. Physical displays of affection." Sheldon informed her. "I believe that we need to implement some sort of system for when one of us disobeys the rules." He pondered aloud.

Penny ignored the laughter from the peanut gallery because she was too focused on the small smile that was on Sheldon's face. You could only spot it if you knew what to look for.

That little sneak! He knew what he was saying.

Penny quickly pulled out her wallet and looked at her list.

"Well you violated rule eight! A hug or a kiss when we see each other for the first time. Maybe I ought to come up with a way to punish you instead." She flirted.

"If you would re-consult your list, you would see that we did exchange physical contact. You initiated it." Sheldon said blandly.

"Wait, this isn't a joke." Howard said in awe. "You two are actually going out. How did this happen?"

Sheldon opened his mouth, ready and willing to explain. Before he could open his mouth Penny clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Our relationship is just that, ours." Penny said firmly and slowly lowered her hand.

"Penny, are you aware that there are approximately one thousand five hundred germs per square inch on your hand at any given moment? And you put you hand over my mouth?" Penny just stared at him.

"Then go brush your teeth." Penny deadpanned.

"Sarcasm?" Penny shook her head no. "Very well." Sheldon practically ran to the bathroom.

Once he was out of sight Penny turned her attention to Howard and Raj.

"Listen up because I am only going to say this one time. Leonard is trying to be his friend, trying to make up for what you guys did to him up there, so I know he isn't going to make fun of him for this. If I find out that you two are making fun of our relationship I will make life very difficult for you. Very. Difficult. Understand?"


Later on that evening, after Howard and Raj had left and Leonard went to his room for the night, Penny watched Sheldon fuss as he put up the controllers.

"So that was fun."

"Indeed." Sheldon said as he unhooked his Super Nintendo, "Donkey Kong, released in 1994, was always one of my favorites. There are a plethora of secrets to find. Of course I found them all by the second time I played."

He should have sounded pompous. It should have annoyed her to hear him be so smug. She should have rolled her eyes and flounced away to the safety of her apartment.

Instead she smiled. He just sounded excited to her, genuinely happy that he figured out all of the game's secrets.

As he settled into his spot beside her, instinct made Penny grab his hand.

"Penny!" Sheldon seemed shocked.

"Sheldon!" she mimicked, not letting him pull his hand away from hers.

"I told you that I was uncomfortable with public displays of affection." He said sternly.

"Sheldon, sweetie, we are alone. There is no one else in the room. Leonard is in his room doing whatever it is Leonard does when he's by himself. This isn't public, this is just us."

"Do you not recall my telling you how many germs are on the human hand?" Penny pulled away, confused.

"Let me get this straight, it's ok for you to put your tongue in my mouth and push me against that door" she gestured widely in the vague direction of his front door, "But it's not ok to hold my hand? Please explain that logic to me Sheldon. Make me understand." She demanded.

"I don't know." Sheldon whispered, staring at their joined hands. "I honestly have no clue. When I kiss you my mind doesn't function properly." His head snapped up to look at her, "My current theory is that when we engage in physical intimacy the subcortical regions of my brain over-ride my concern over the exposure to your germs."

"Your sub-a-what?"

Sheldon heaved a sigh, "What you would refer to as the pleasure center of the brain."

Penny leaned back and stared at him for a second before leaning over him to grab the hand sanitizer he kept on the small table. Pouring a healthy dollop on her hands she rubbed them together vigorously, then took his hand again.

"Better?" She asked him.

"Actually, yes." Sheldon said surprised. "I'm surprised that you thought of that."

Over three years Penny had gotten very good at understanding Sheldon, so she didn't get angry.

Instead she asked, "Surprised that I thought of it or surprised that you didn't?" Sheldon just stared at her. "A combination of the two?" Penny guessed.

Thoughtfully he nodded in agreement.

"Sheldon," She began carefully, "I wanna go on a date."

"You would like to go on a date with me." He interrupted, "Wanna is not a word."

"I said it, so it's a word." Penny said sharply. She continued in a gentler voice, "Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

"Is this your twenty-four hour notice?"

"Yes." Was the firm answer.

"Very well. I will agree to out on a date with you if we can go on Sunday afternoon. Howard canceled our previously scheduled kite fighting exercise."

Penny mentally ran through her work schedule. "I have to be at work at five, so yeah, the afternoon can work."

"Acceptable. I trust that you will pick an activity that both of us will find enjoyment in?" Sheldon asked with a raised eyebrow.

Suddenly anxiety gripped her. How is she going to please the all mighty Sheldon Cooper? He gets pissy if he doesn't have the correct number of onion rings on his plate. He bitches when someone else gets a comic book before he does. He demands the world to kneel before him.

"I'll do my best." Was all she said.

A/N: It amuses me how many people liked the rules I gave Sheldon and Penny. Let me just say that those rules are loosely based on how my husband and I run things. Question for you guys. Where should Penny take Sheldon on their first date? Should Sheldon like it? Any ideas?