Whew, several e-mails with pure Daphne-hate! I bring you yet another new update that would have not been brought up now without all of your lovely reviews. Thank you very much. Those of you who were asking about the Death Eaters, don't worry, they'll make a reappearance soon. It's just a matter of time now.
Anyway, this one starts with Hermione's point of view, then ends with Narration. I PROMISE to have Draco tell the story next chapter. It took me a while to write, but I guess you can say that I find it satisfying. I was in a very sappy mood as I wrote this, so that definitely helped. I hope you enjoy this chapter! There is an important author's note at the bottom, but we'll leave that until we're finished with this one. :)
I had stayed up reviewing over vocabulary terms for Charms and Transfiguration to get away from my earlier mood, and the next thing I knew, other students seemed to be exiting through their dorms. People had started waking up, and I didn't get any hint of sleep at all. As much as I tried to bring the life back into me, I just couldn't. I was frustrated, angry, and tired.
The only fact that seemed to ease me down a little was the fact that we had an early dismissal today; for the Great Hall would need preparation and arrangement taking place in the afternoon, due to upcoming N.E.W.T.s. Most of the students groaned about the fact that they haven't studied at all and were fumbling through their school bags, racing through the thin pages of their textbooks.
Irresponsibility. If there's one thing someone can name that I cannot stand, it would have to be that.
I walked up to the dorms quickly to brush my hair and put away some of my uneeded textbooks, where I ran into Ginny. She had just woken up, but she was already changed and ready for the day. The rest of the dormitory was completely empty, the girls were either in the restrooms, down in the Common Room, or walking towards the Great Hall.
"Morning, Hermione," she spoke lazily. "Did you have a good sleep?"
"To tell you the truth, Ginny," I said, racing over to my bed. "I didn't get any sleep at all."
"Wow, Hermione, I know N.E.W.T.s. are coming up and everything," Ginny chuckled. "But you shouldn't torture yourself. Everyone needs sleep! What was keeping you up anyway? Homework?"
"Well, homework was one thing," I replied in-between gritted teeth. Anger still resided within me as I relived that horrible incident last night.
After I finished brushing my hair and organizing my schoolbooks, I left the Dormitory, and Ginny followed. I could see that she was trying hard to walk in front of me, to look at me directly in the eye, for she kept strutting behind, looking over my shoulder. As soon as we left the Portrait Hole, I couldn't stand this any longer, and faced her.
"Ginny," I sighed. "What is it?"
"Sorry about that, Hermione, but...you just...seem...troubled. Did something happen when you left the party yesterday?"
Should I go ahead and tell Ginny about that horrible excuse for a human, Daphne Greengrass? Or should I just lie to her and tell her my mood came from a night's time spent from studying?
But I needed someone to open up to, I couldn't keep all of these feelings and thoughts bottled up forever, would I? I guided Ginny to a temporary empty corridor and leaned against a wall, frowning. This was it.
"Yes, now that you mention it," I said sharply. "Something did happen."
"Where did you go?"
"The Slytherin Common Room."
Ginny's eyes widened and grew to a size I would have never thought possible, and she gaped at me.
"What were you doing there? How did you get in? Did Malfoy do anything?"
"Oh yes, he did do something, all right," I turned away from her gaze to look down at my feet. I found it nearly impossible to tell the story to someone else, this odd sinking feeling wouldn't leave from somewhere in me. What was this?
"Hermione," Ginny whispered softly, her hand placed on my shoulder. "What happened?"
After taking a deep breath, I decided to tell her everything there was to tell. About the Slytherin Common Room, about how I had to hide my face, and about Daphne. And Draco. It was impossible to not grow sober after even thinking of that nightmare.
And before I knew it, I began crying. Why was I crying at a time like this? I, after all, was the one who decided to spill the whole story. I shouldn't do this in public, I thought, people might see...
Ginny's face grew mild and her eyes saddened greatly as she looked down with pity.
"Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry..." her voice trailed off to nothing before she decided to speak again. "I don't mean any offense to you, but with a person like Malfoy...I saw something like this happen. And I'm very sorry you had to go through such a thing. Similar events had happened during your sixth year as well, and I don't think I can imagine all the emotional stress you're undergoing..."
I sniffled; my tears were starting to vanish away now. Wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my school robes, I blinked a couple of times to diminish them completely.
"You should just put this whole thing behind you, Hermione," Ginny insisted sweetly. "It'll do you good. Trust me."
"...You're right, Ginny," I looked at her directly in the eye, and she lightened up a little. "Maybe I was wrong to become involved with him in the first place. Harry and Ron were right..."
Ginny walked with me the entire way to the Great Hall for some Breakfast. I wasn't hungry at all, but Ginny recommended it, and this time I decided to not argue. Avoiding any stares with unfriendly Slytherins, I tried my best not to think about last night's events and instead attempted to bring myself into a conversation with Ginny.
But I encountered another series of nightmares once we arrived, for swarms of Gryffindor and Slytherin girls were gasping with shock. Not to surprise, the Slytherin Girls were huddled around Daphne and of course, Draco. It wasn't too long after I sat down that Harry and Ron looked at me dubiously, almost as eager to jump out of my seats with questions. The Gryffindor girls were making their way towards us as well, but Ginny shooed them away.
I didn't even have to ask them anything.
"...Who told you?" I asked them coldy.
Ron glared at me reproachfully, but Harry softened up a little and confessed.
"It was her, that Daphne Greengrass girl of Slytherin," Harry rolled his eyes and pointed to her. "She started telling Parkinson about it, louder than needed, and the next thing we knew the entire Great Hall seemed to hear the entire story."
"Not like we wanted to," Ron grumbled, furious. "I told you, Hermione! Why did you ever choose Malfoy in the first place?"
Ginny rushed over to me and crinkled her nose at Ron, shooting him a face, as if telling him to shut up. That's exactly what I wanted. Everyone should just be quiet and let me be!
"D'you reckon, Hermione," Harry questioned kindly, ceasing his eating. "That Daphne forced him to? Maybe he wasn't planning to do that with her in the first place. Perhaps you were drawn to the wrong conclusion."
Ginny beamed. Ron looked rather disgusted, and I was not sure who to believe anymore.
"...Maybe," I spoke flatly. "Maybe not."
My eyes darted over to the Slytherin table quickly, and I could already see Daphne eager to answer the flood of questions being fired at her. I couldn't see Draco's face, however, just his back, and he was in a facepalm, sulking in his seat. Pansy even seemed to grow rather furious with Daphne, as I could hear a wide variety of curse words escaping her mouth.
"Harry does have a point, Hermione," Ginny pointed out, supporting Harry's theory. "You know what? I think you should talk to him."
This information nearly made me choke on my morning toast. I cleared my throat.
"Are you mad? Talk to him? That's impossible!"
Harry, Ron, and Ginny's interest with talking any further seemed to grow dull, as they all returned to their breakfasts. Did I say something, perhaps? But they all did have a point, except that of Ron.
Maybe I should just pluck up the courage and talk this over with Draco slowly and steadily. Harry might have been correct with his earlier theory, but I just didn't know wrong from right anymore. Glumly, I ate my breakfast with a small pace, still trying to sort things out in my mind. It grew immensely difficult - I couldn't do this by myself...but this was one of those situations where help would do no good. I had to do it on my own. All on my own.
The clock chimed shortly, and I had Transfiguration first thing this morning, and for the first time, I had no desire to proceed to class. All I wished for was to run over to my bed and get a good sleep. But that was far away from me at the moment, there were some things to be done.
"Come on," Ginny nagged, elbowing me gently. "Sort it out!"
"Oh, do stop this prattling," I ordered, desperate for all of this to come to an end.
Ginny grimaced at me, and she left the Great Hall shortly to attend class. The rest of the students did so as well, I was one of the last to leave the area. I didn't even dare to look over my shoulder to see if Draco was following me, now was not the time.
Once arriving in Transfiguration, I immediately felt grateful, for this was a class that I didn't share with Draco. Harry and Ron were already seated in their desks when they came, and I didn't take too long to do so either. Professor McGonagall was quietly at her desk, her eyes speed-reading the piece of parchment before her, and her hand was scribbling last-minute notes. As soon as the last student had arrived, closed the classroom door, and was seated, she looked up.
"You are aware," she announced softly, rising from her desk. "That you have upcoming N.E.W.T.s? That there will be an early dismissal as of today?"
A variety of nods, mumbling, and heads shaking with doubt filled the classroom. I could hear Neville from a couple of seats behind me whimpering with apprehension.
"And that you will be taking them tomorrow evening?"
I nodded, in harmony with many other students. Neville took a deep sigh and tousled his hair with stress.
And without another word, Professor McGonagall returned to her desk and once more scribbled on numerous pieces of parchment. This was another review period, I assumed, as we were given in most of our other classes. Students opened their books annoyingly, groaning with boredom, as another quiet and dull session hovered over everyone.
Knowing all of the necessary terms and such, I found myself with nothing to do for about thirty entire minutes. I did not know how I endured such tortorous silence, for I just sat in my seat, textbook still closed.
I wanted to leave the classroom. Maybe I should go to the bathroom and wash my face up a bit. I was growing rather sleepy again, and perhaps a little freshening up will help.
Raising my hand, not even half the class seemed to notice.
"Professor, may I be excused?"
Definitely not in the mood for any further interruptions, Professor McGonagall's head quickly rose up. Her hand let go of her quill and she signaled me to go on and hurry up. As soon as I left my desk, her eyes were fiercely permanent onto her own business once more. I closed and opened the door quietly, and made way to the bathroom in which Moaning Myrtle lingered, for I was in no mood for any company whatsoever. As much as I dreaded for such an irritating ghost to bother me, I think I could handle something as little as that.
The corridors were fairly empty, the only people walking around were first years coming out of several bathrooms, ghosts floating nearby the Entrance Hall, and a Hufflepuff prefect entering the storage rooms.
From outside the bathroom passageway I could already hear Moaning Myrtle, not weeping - but laughing hysterically. Once entering I went to the nearest clean sink and felt totally awake the moment the water made contact with my cheeks. After I finished drying myself, I proceeded to the bathroom stalls, where it wasn't too long until I came to halt.
Moaning Myrtle flew stall by stall, appearing in the one in front of me with a rather pleased expression in her face. She stared at me as if it was an everyday routine.
"What is it?" I asked her, wishing she would hurry so I could get back to class.
"Oh, she has been a bad girl, a very bad girl..." Moaning Myrtle chanted in a voice relative to Peeves, giggling sentence after sentence. "Bringing all this havoc...causing impeding trouble for both...how terrible! Even after what she has already done...she continues!"
"...Excuse me," I said, not even bothering to ask what she was talking about, although it did ring a bell. Moaning Myrtle drifted away and went off to the other side of the bathroom, talking to herself the entire time I used the toilet. Her unbearable laughter died away as I assumed that she had gone off to another area of the castle, still singing.
Once I was finished, I left the bathroom without a sound, and when I turned at a corner - I gasped, only to find myself face-to-face with the last person I needed to speak to.
We started off just staring at each other, the both of our faces stern, our eyebrows raised slightly. My hands reached to hide behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to do so completely. His eyes turned from the right and the left, and then back to me, and I could perceive that he was looking if there was any people around. The gaze returned determinedly on my own eyes and without further ado, he tugged my sleeve fiercely and trotted towards a storage closet when the Hufflepuff prefect had left.
"What the - hey - what are you doing?" I asked, demanding an answer. My luck was dismal.
Draco didn't reply. Instead, he shut the door and gave a wave of his wand, locking it.
"I'm glad I excused myself from class," he said briefly, before turning back to face me. The room was very small; I was leaning against a wall and there was only about five feet separating our bodies. "We need to talk."
I pouted.
"Oh, now you want to talk? Well, it's a little bit late for that, if you excuse me, I'll be getting back to cla - "
When my hand reached for the door, however, my timing had been slow and Draco and taken a hold of mine, stopping me.
"No," he said sharply. "Stay."
Left without no other choice, I sighed almost too greatly and then slumped my back against the wall again. Draco leaned against wall opposite of me, his hand in his pockets, his right foot crossing over the left. I took the chance to take a closer look at his face - he seemed tired, his cheeks were tinted pink, his eyes had lessened to a duller gray, his eyelids were drooping and his mouth had been curled into a frown. Although he still appeared to be astonishingly handsome, Draco was not in a positive mood at all.
"Tell me...what do you feel?" he asked, his voice only a little raspy.
"...What...what do you mean?"
He knew I was lying. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Don't play around, Hermione, I haven't got the time," the strictness of his voice shocked me. "So just tell me so I can get this over with."
Although I did know what he planned to be discussing, what was I supposed to say to him? I know this time I should let him apologize first, I had a strong belief that I had done nothing wrong and this was all his and Daphne's doing.
"...Why did you do it?" I asked out of nowhere.
"Did what?"
"Oh, this is no time for games." I placed my hands on my hips to show him that I was serious about this.
Draco shook his head and raised one of his hands to his temple, shaking his head with guilt. I grew deepy concerned and worried, but the moment I stepped away from the wall to comfort him, he jerked his head away from direct eye contact. I stepped back.
"I really don't know where to take this, Hermione," his voice quavered as if he was suffering from an illness. "It was all just a misunderstanding..."
The sound of regret in his voice send a thousand jolts to my spine and I was unable to speak. Whenever I felt the words spilling out, my mouth just remained open, but I was completely silent. At this rate, all of my senses would go weak and I might perhaps even blame myself for the entire dilemma. But I fought against it.
Maybe, I would start crying, but no - no, I refused to let him see me cry anymore until this was sorted out. This wasn't worth my tears.
"Draco...I..." was all I could say.
His gaze turned back to me and the moment our eyes had met once more, I was left completely speechless. Even with just a night without this feeling, I felt like I haven't experienced something like this in years. Draco showed no signs of hesitation to look away as his stare was fixed to my own. I swallowed and I turned my head to the side, although I was still looking at him. About everything was unexpected.
And with a movement so fast, so agile, so unpredictable - Draco rushed foward so that each of his hands stood flatly against the wall on both sides of my head, my body being trapped within his arms, and I was pinned against the wall. I leaned back, my body being pressed even harder against the surface behind me. I couldn't name a time where I've seen his eyes as intense as this. With every breath he drew, I could feel its warmth swirling around my neck.
"Draco...what are you..."
He looked down, and beared a mask of serenity and fear. His head burrowed into my left shoulder, but I could feel his slow breathing on my neck.
Narration
His warmth had provided her comfort in the cold, barren room, their bodies only inches away from one another. Hermione didn't dare make another move with herself enclosed in such a unforeseen and unfamiliar situation. Feelings of sorrow, pleasure, happiness and regret ambled within her and countless conclusions rushed to her head, the truth and the lie stirred in one unpromising choice.
"Do you...feel scared around me, Hermione?" Draco asked her, his voice downhearted yet sadistic.
A single tear had descended from Hermione's cinnamon eyes, the right, just like it always had been. It rolled down her cheek, her neck, and onto the hard lifeless floor. Her hands were still pressed firmly against her chest, slightly trembling, for she was not willing to move. Words dropped the chance to finally speak out and change his mind.
Hermione's shoulders started shaking, and Draco's forehead pressed against her left. Her hands navigated and found the cold surface of the wall, her fingers tracing invisible lines on the solid surface, as if she was reading his skin. Taking a risk, Hermione turned her head so that her nose was on the verge of touching his soft, blonde hair.
She took a whiff of his scent; she could already smell the oceanic cologne and relive the feeling of sand seeping in between her toes. But this was different, she snapped out of her pleasing and tempting gaze and opened her eyes to the real world.
"...What do you feel?" his voice was muffled from her sleeve.
Her eyes were swimming with water and tears clung to her eyelashes, avoiding a fate that awaited them. Hermione choked back even more tears as she strained to offer him a response under such strong tension. Her hands trembling and her heart racing, her mouth gave way and opened.
"I..."
Draco's back was still arched, but Hermione had felt an unfamiliar sensation running down her left shoulder - a little bit of water had sunk through her uniform, seeped through, and the moment it had touched her skin, her body stiffened as if she were petrified. Again, one after another, each droplet broke through the obstacle of her clothes.
"Draco...are you...crying?" as small as the room was, her voice echoed faintly.
He did not answer as Hermione felt a slight vibration on her shoulder. She could feel his every blink of his eyelids and every tear that followed it, as his fingers began to descend slowly on the wall. Hermione didn't wait any longer, she raised her arms and rested her arms on his cold back, embracing him softly. She unglued herself from the wall and allowed her warmth to soothe him.
He cried. She cried, too. Hermione knew that she was the only girl in this entire world to bring Draco into such desolation, leaving a mark that allowed his color to erase easier than before. She hated it. Why was she the one with the terrible ability to worry him so, to listen to him weeping? Why was she the only one with the power to see him like this, asking - begging - for such forgiveness?
She tried, gently, to push his hands away from the wall, but he would not let go. Her hand snaked up his back to his head, stroking the delicate blonde hair that drooped over it. Her brown bushy mane tickled the skin on the side of his neck, but he did not laugh. He didn't even smile.
"...No, Draco, I don't. I'm not scared when I'm with you. I feel unharmed, safe, appreciated...like I do have a purpose to be alive." she spoke into his sweater, her voice drowned out, finally answering.
His hands released the harsh hold of the wall and he returned her embrace. They stood there in the sensitivity of still life, as if they were both trying to recollect the activity that had hung there before.
"You are the reason I'm alive, Hermione."
She had felt like her heart had sunk into a bottomless pit, and whimpered from the sound of his voice repeating itself, ringing in her ears. Her knees might give way but he had her support.
"I'm sorry."
Hermione caved in and broke into a downpour of tears, wishing that she would apologize for soaking his sleeve. She didn't want to forgive herself for surrendering after two simple words; his words could shut down all her senses, and even, perhaps, weaken her. Hermione was as fragile as any flower; she was vulnerable.
They pulled away softly and Draco planted a passionate kiss on her lips, then kissed a few of her tears, sending them to oblivion, causing her to melt. The feeling of his moist lips against her tear-glazed skin remained even after moments he had done so. Blinking back any more incoming tears, Hermione stared at him for a moment before he decided it was time to talk again.
"Do you forgive me?"
She thought about it, but the only thing that left her was a gigglish chuckle. Draco looked at her questionably.
"Can I take that as a yes?"
Hermione nodded before letting herself fall into the shelter of his arms again, burrowing her face in his shirt. He lowered his head at her, laughing along as it lightened the both of their moods.
"Is that the best you can do after what I just did?" he asked, watching her rub away some of her tears.
"Oh, Draco, none of us are as perfect as you think we are," Hermione's character rang clearly all over her voice, the breathless laughter running into it. "But some of us can be close."
This is official, I will not be uploading any further updates until I reach a certain amount of reviews. I know I will finish the next update before so, but I'll have to wait until I reach 200+. Keep them coming so the update will be up sooner:) I've posted my story in various communities around livejournal to tell more people about it, but if you can help and recommend this fic or something like that, that would be great. Yeah, sorry, but I had to do this to see how many readers are staying tuned, because I have no idea how long I plan this story to be. 15 chapters was the original, but we've gone way past that, haven't we?
Anyway, thanks for reading and I can't wait to read your wonderful reviews. Until 200, please, please review! I usually get 10 a chapter, so it won't be that long, hopefully.
