Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.

If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."

This is story number twenty-eight. I will give extra credit to anyone who gets the Family Guy reference.

Kai and Mack

By

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"Hannah!" called Kai as he entered yet another ice skating rink. "Hannah, where are you?" He had been searching every rink he could find in hopes of finding the ice dancer. He had no luck on Mirinoi so he was now taking the chance that she had gone through the wormhole to Earth. But for some reason, even after six years of him searching, she just didn't seem to want to be found. "Hannah! I'm sorry I used that hibachi to cook my famous chicken ala Kai while watching you practice! I'm sorry you fell in the melted ice! I'm sorry you had to spend three weeks in a coma! Please, take me back!"

A lone figure appeared at the other end of the rink. Kai squinted his eyes to see better. It couldn't be…but it was! "Hannah! Hannah! You came back to me!" he cried as he slip slid across the ice, grabbed the other person into a hug and caused them both to fall over.

"Hey! Are you crazy?" snapped Mack as he shoved the other man off him. "Mr. Hartford didn't program me to swing that way." He stood up and brushed his tutu back into place.

"What?" asked Kai as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You're not Hannah!" he wailed. Perhaps Commander Stanton wasn't kidding when he had told him a few years back to get his eyes checked. Kai had thought he was just being mad since he had angered the natives by accidentally blasting some giant Mirinoian statue. It sure looked like a bunch of stingwingers holding a group orgy to him. It took him months of apologizing before they took the curse off him and he could be rid of the blue and green spots.

"No, I'm Mack. Now, if you are done attacking me, I'd like to get in some practice." He plopped the red nose back on his face and the crown back on his head. Then he skated onto the ice…and fell on his butt. He got up again, and fell again. "Aaaaggghhh! I guess this isn't who I'm supposed to be either!" Mack cried in frustration.

Kai stared at the younger man. "What are you doing?" he asked in curiosity despite his desire to run to the next rink to continue his search.

"I'm trying to find out who I really am," replied Mack. "I tried being a rock star, a surgeon, a mime, a millionaire cowboy astronaut, and now I'm trying to be a king clown ice skater." He just wasn't going to let his da…Mr. Hartford win. No, he'd show him, he'd show them all that he wasn't just some robot.

"Uh, from what I see, you're insane."

Max frowned. "No, that's not possible. Androids can't be insane. We don't have feelings."

Kai stared at Mack. "What are you talking about? You think you're an android? You think androids can't be insane?" He could clearly remember the day Alpha 6 went on a rampage because Damon had replaced his premium oil with used motor oil as an April Fools Day joke. The Green Galaxy Ranger was found stuffed under a console with a socket wrench jammed all the way into his mouth. "Besides what sane man would wear a pink tutu?"

"But, Will told me this was the proper thing to wear if I was going to be a famous ice skater." Mack hadn't realized that his teammate was just getting even for him using his break-in tools during his attempt at being a surgeon. Especially since Dax still had a few pieces rattling around inside of him.

"Whatever," mumbled Kai. He had to get away before this weirdo got him trapped into some insane conversation. After all, Hannah could be at the very next ice-skating rink waiting for him in the nude while holding a rose in between her teeth. "Yep, you're definitely nuts. Android indeed."

"Fine, go ahead, don't believe me," grumbled Mack. "I'm sure you've got something more important to do."

"Yes I do," called Kai as he headed for the door. He reached for the handle… WHACK "Owww, what the? Is this a foot?" He whirled around to face Mack who was now leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, guess I'm really not an android." Mack wiggled the wires dangling from his left leg.

Kai gaped at Mack. "You…you…you're not human. That means…" He quickly morphed into the Blue Galaxy Ranger. "You're an alien! Who sent you? Trakeenah? Captain Mutiny? I know; you're from the Machine Empire! Well, it's my duty to stop you!"

"Whoa!" cried Mack as he jumped back holding his hands in front of himself defensively. "I'm no alien. I was created in San Angeles by my da…Mr. Hartford because he was too lazy to find himself a woman. Then again, I've always wondered why he wanted to have Spencer around all the time."

"Ha!" cried Kai as he waved his blaster around. "Just what an evil alien android would say. Good thing I pulled my saber back out of that stone." After all, if that dimwit, Leo, could pull his saber out just to play with the other Red Rangers, then so could he. Now all he had to do was wait for his other brilliant Blue brethren to get a mission and show up those muscle heads. Little did he know that Billy, Cestro, Justin, TJ, Chad, Lucas, Max, Tori, Blake, Ethan, Sky, Madison, and Dax had met just the past week to defeat a giant planet eating monster and mock his cooking behind his back. "Now, tell me your evil purpose for coming here or I'll blast you!"

"Fine," agreed Mack. "I was sent here by the GluggyLuggies to capture ice skaters. My masters have a giant space cannon that is powered up by a gigantic space ice rink. Once I have enough people to skate on it, the canon will charge up and BOOM! No more pesky Earthlings."

"Wha…"

Mack grinned. "Yep, just this morning I captured this one female skater with long dark hair. She said her name was Hand, no Hallah…"

"Hannah," growled Kai. "You…you evil monster. Where is she? Where is the love of my life? Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, Leo was so right about you," guffawed Mack. "He told me all about your obsession with finding your ex-girlfriend."

"Leo?" asked Kai suspiciously. "How the hell do you know Leo? I know; you've got him, too! Well, I'm not letting you continue with your plans! It is my duty to finish you!" With that, he shot his blaster at Mack…only to find himself being hoisted up and thrown across the ice. Kai looked up and saw an unfamiliar Red Ranger looking down on him.

"I know Leo from the monthly Red Ranger get-togethers," replied the now morphed Mack. He was glad he got to join the group this year, even if he did have to give everyone ten dollars at each meeting and put up with this one guy who kept patting his head and calling him 'newbie' every five minutes.

"You're a Power Ranger? A Red Power Ranger?" asked Kai in a daze.

"Sure am," boasted Mack proudly. "I was specially hand-picked for it, too. Didn't have to beg for the morpher from some middle-aged Indiana Jones wanna-be. Nope, this morpher was made just for me."

"They gave Red Ranger powers to an evil alien android?" asked Kai who was still in a daze.

"For the last time, I am not an…"

"Nooooooooooooooooo!!" yelled Kai as he demorphed and dropped down to the ice. He began to rock back and forth. "It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers… It is my duty to destroy evil…it is my duty to help the Rangers…" He continued for the next seven hours, unable to decide which way his duty lay.

Mack demorphed as well. "Wow, someone could really use some therapy here." He resumed his clumsy ice-skating. Five minutes later, a hypnotized Hannah appeared, zapped him, and took him away to explain to the head GluggyLuggy why he had not fulfilled his quota of captured ice-skaters.

A/N – yeah, the ending sucks…I got stuck on it.