Thanks everyone for all the reviews. The next chapter is a great one. I loved writing it. I will give a sneak peak to login reviews.
Thanks for being my beta.
Chapter 28
I take a deep breath, look into his eyes and start explaining...
"I thought I could handle this. I can't and I don't even want to think about work. I feel like I'm trapped. I need to feel like me not someone that is a walking feeding machine."
"What can I do to make it easier for you? The whole family is here to support you. You only have to ask and they will be here. I love that you want to be a strong person but everyone has limits. I don't expect you to do everything, Ana. You should have told me about taking on Mrs Jones's work. We can hire her some help that way you can relax."
"Christian, normal women don't have hired help."
"We aren't normal people, Ana. I understand that you feel trapped. How about we get the parents involved and we can have some time away from the house?"
"Okay, maybe that will help."
"I'll be working from home tomorrow. How about you call Kate and go get pampered. It's nearly her wedding day and you can spend some time fussing over yourselves?"
"That's a lovely idea. Can we please not tell the family about me. I don't think I could handle them walking on eggshells around me."
"Of course, Ana. It's just between us."
Over the last two weeks things have improved. I'm taking the medication and it's helping. We have hired another housekeeper and she looks after the cleaning of the house and laundering. Christian has been attentive and supportive and helps with the feeding of the twins.
Kate and Elliot's wedding was beautiful. They had it at Grace and Carrick's house. It was nice to relax and enjoy the day. Gail looked after the twins and she loved every minute of it. I could fit into the pale blue bridesmaid's dress. It had spaghetti straps and ran just below the knee.
I've been able to get out of the house with and without the kids. The only difference is by myself, there is only one security guard, usually Sawyer. When I take the kids out, there is four more that accompany us. My fifty at his controlling best. Making sure that we are safe and protected.
It was nice because the first day out with the children, reporters started harassing us and they took care of it.
Teddy and Phoebe are three months old today and we are taking them to the park for a picnic. I've had to start substituting some of the feeds with formula. As much as I love feeding them, my body can't keep up with their demands. I started to notice that they were still fussing after a feed. I was upset that I couldn't provide enough milk for them. Christian was more than supportive and it gave him more opportunity to help. At the moment I feed them first thing in the morning and once in the afternoon.
We will be meeting Christian there after his meeting is finished.
We arrive at the park with the security entourage. I start setting up the blanket as the twins are asleep in the pram. I get a feeling we are being watched. I look around and can only see security. Moments later, Christian appears and we sit down to enjoy what Gail has prepared for us.
Christian's blackberry rings, he apologies and answers it. Work can't leave him alone for an hour. Jeez.
As I'm packing up I get that same feeling from before but I brush it off. I'm just being paranoid with all the extra security.
I have an appointment with John tonight. It's been helpful talking through my feelings. Christian has been great in supporting me. He looks after the twins while I'm in town. Once I get home we have a relaxing bath and I let him know how every thing went. We have grown as a family and as a couple. As of tonight John has told me that I no longer need the medication. I haven't been taking it for over a week and I feel better knowing I can now handle my life.
I've started working from home. I won't be heading to the office but I'm starting to read manuscripts and the editors are conducting the interviews on my behalf. To have some adult brain activity is a welcome relief.
About a month ago, we started getting intimate, starting with vanilla and working our way back to kinky. I decided that I wanted to push my limits and to say Christian was excited would be an understatement.
I trust him with my heart, body and soul. Some of the things that were hard limits for me when I first met him, I'm willing to try for him.
I know he says he doesn't need this but when he is dominant Christian and in control, I can't help but be aroused. I've increased my sessions with Claude so I can try more difficult scenes. My strength is increasing and perhaps by Christmas time I might be ready for something that will be suspenseful.
