So this chapter happened rather suddenly... I was just sitting there and then BAM! Out came some story...
Chapter 28
Steph's POV
I let out a contented sigh as the glass door quietly closed behind me. Just being within the walls of the building that housed my yoga studio was enough to bring about a zen state of mind. I don't know if it was soothing lighting, or the gentle trickle of water, or the smell of incense burning, but something about the place just seemed to lift my spirit. I was only a step into the building and already, I could feel my cares drifting away.
I said hello to Gwen, the guy – yes, guy – who manned the front desk and made my way up the narrow staircase to the studio. I was cutting it fine. The class was supposed to start any minute now. Ordinarily, I'd be stressed about being late. But it just didn't matter. Pushing through the door at the top of the stairs, I found eleven people all leisurely setting up their yoga mats. There was never any hurry around here.
Crossing the room, I found my usual spot in the back corner, where I had a perfect view of all entrances and exits and other people in the room. It was occupied by a wiry, bespectacled man with short brown hair. He stood out like a sore thumb. First, he was new. I'd never seen him in the three months I'd been coming to this Yoga session every week. Second, he was male, while every other member of the class was female. And finally, he was wearing a pale yellow, checked business shirt with his lounge pants. Odd.
Taking a deep breath, I took the final step to be right in front of his mat and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped about a foot in the air and spun around to face me, clutching his chest. His eyes were bugging out as he stared at me. Probably, he was on the verge of a full blown panic attack. Note to self, don't sneak up on people, even if you don't mean to.
"Sorry," I said, running a hand over my hair. "I didn't mean to scare you."
He shook is head, letting out a sigh and lowered his hands. "No," he agreed. "No one ever does. I guess I'm not very aware of my surroundings."
The corner of my mouth twitched up at that, like I was going to smile. There was a time when I would have been just as bad as this guy. The amount of times I'd had a mini heart attack when someone suddenly started speaking behind me was phenomenal. I pictured Rangers face and all the times he'd told me I needed to be more aware of my surroundings. It would probably give him a sick sense of satisfaction to know that all it took for me to start putting every piece of advice he'd ever given me into practice.
"Can I help you?" he asked when I'd been silent too long.
"You're kinda in my spot," I told him.
He glanced down at his mat and then up at me, eyes widening. "Oh! Sorry!" he exclaimed, seeming genuinely apologetic. "I didn't realise there was assigned seating. It's my first time."
"There's not really," I shrugged. "I just like this spot because I can see everyone and all the exits from here."
For some reason, this caused a smile to spread across his face and he crossed his slim arms over his unsubstantial chest. "That's exactly why I chose it," he explained. "It's a bit of an enforced habit of mine."
That got him an attempted single eyebrow raise. "Enforced habit?"
"The people I work with like to be aware of everything around them at all times," he shrugged. "They get on my case about it all the time."
I could relate to that. "I know how that is," I told him with a slight smile. "I used to work with a bunch of guys just like that. It's why I prefer the spot in the corner." Placing my tote bag on the floor beside his mat, I extended my hand. "I'm Stephanie," I said.
"Halfed," he responded, shaking my hand.
"Halfred?"
His lips quirked. "You can call me Freddie."
"Well, Freddie," I started, taking my mat off my shoulder and staring down at his. "I hate to be a stick in the mud, but you really are in my spot."
Bending at the waist, he grabbed the edge of his mat and slid it a few feet to the left opening up the corner spot for me to unroll my mat and kick off my flip flops. "Better?" he asked.
"Much," I assured him, lifting my head and flipping a strand of hair out of my face. Something on his shirt caught my eye and I leaned in to get a better look. "Is that…?" I reached out smoothed the folds of his shirt on the left side of his chest. "That's the RCM Security logo…"
He glanced down at it and then back to me. "You're familiar with the company?"
Unsure exactly what was going on here, I took a small step back and crossed my arms around my middle. "I was more familiar with them as Rangeman," I said, glancing around the room. Were they watching me? Had they followed me here? It felt like too big a coincidence for a Merry Man to show up at the very same studio I attended, twenty minutes out of town, on the very same night I always attended. Was this some renewed attempt to get me back to them on their terms? I thought they'd put a stop to it entirely after the last time. "Did they change the uniform or something? I thought it was supposed to be all black."
Freddie shook his head. "No, no," he mentioned, shrugging out of the shirt so that he stood before me in a singlet and lounge pants. "They still wear all black."
"Then why are you in a yellow shirt?" I accused.
A heavy sigh left his lips. "Wearing all black was hazardous to my health." I gave him a look that I was pretty sure said that he needed to explain and waited. He proved that he was definitely not like the Merry Men I knew as he gave a slight nod and started talking.
"I'm a tech guy," he started. "I spend a lot of time tucked under desks and lurking in dark crevices. I was getting kicked and stood on every other day, so they agreed to give me a different uniform."
"Huh. That was very accommodating of them." And very unlike the men I used to know. Tank would never have authorised an entirely different uniform code for just one person. Probably, he would have just told them to wear a high vis vest like construction workers, or wrap themselves in fairy lights. Hell, he might have even gotten Hector to install LED strip lights under every desk before he agreed to a change of uniform.
At that moment, the yoga instructor entered, ready to begin the class and I had to ignore the fact that a tenuous link to my past was stretching awkwardly a few feet away. I didn't feel the pang I had last time I'd run into a Merry Man, even the one I hadn't known that they'd sent the school that time. It was just odd having him there. Especially since he wasn't like the other men at all.
*o*
I sat in the car staring out at the house, its windows aglow. I'd put on three coats of mascara since I'd parked five minutes ago and it was not having the desired effect. Somehow in the last eight weeks since I'd promised Julie I'd be there, I'd managed to let Joe and Carol – hell, even my parents, and Val – convince me that attending this party was the best thing for me. They'd done such a good job at it that I'd actually begun to look forward to it, to the point that when Julie called earlier to remind me that I'd agreed to go I didn't have to fake enthusiasm. Now, though, all the apprehensions I'd locked away were beginning to resurface.
What was I meant to say to my late fiance's family? Should I pretend he didn't exist? No. That was a stupid idea. Someone was bound to mention him. There'd be reminiscing and story telling. That's how family gatherings worked. I'd have to expect he'd come up in conversation.
I'd come a long way since I'd been seeing a therapist twice a week. I could now tolerate the small reminders of him I got on a daily basis – a black car behind me at the lights, one word answers, the slightest whiff of Bulgari as I passed through the mall. I'd even started wearing my engagement ring again. On a chain around my neck. I just wasn't sure I could handle this.
Reaching across the centre console to the passenger seat, I grabbed up the tube of mascara I'd flung there less than a minute ago. One more coat, I told myself, adjusting the mirror so I could see my face, And then I'll go inside. I'd just unscrewed the top and was raising the wand to my eye when there was a knock at the window.
I screamed. A completely inelegant sound and dropped the wand. It bounced off my white and blue dress and landed somewhere in the foot well. I glanced after it but couldn't see in the half light. My eyes darted to the black smear on my dress next and I let out a small groan before finally seeing who was at my window.
Julie.
She had a worried smile on her face as she looked in at me. I let out a sigh and opened the door.
"I didn't mean to startle you," she said immediately, stepping back to allow me space to exit. "I thought you saw me You were staring at the house when I came out."
I shook my head. "It's fine. I was off with the pixies. Thinking. I wasn't aware of my surroundings."
Her smile turned a little sad. "Dad would have said something mildly reprimanding," she said, looking anywhere but at me.
And just like that I knew I had to get through tonight not just for myself, but for Julie. This had to be hard on her as well. As far as I knew this was the first major family event since her father's death, and while I knew she and Ranger weren't as close as they could have been, they had been working steadily on getting to know each other and keeping the lines of communication open – as much as a teenager and an ex-Ranger could – for the last four years. They would email and text each other regularly and I knew she'd always looked forward to seeing him at these things. As he had her. His absence tonight was weighing on both of us. I wasn't sure I could do anything to help her through, I mean, I hadn't seen her since the funeral, but she called me every now and then and I felt like she still thought of me as her step-mother or whatever, even though I never would be.
Grabbing my purse off the passenger seat, I slid out from behind the wheel to stand on the sidewalk beside the girl I would always think of as family. She was the love of my life's flesh and blood. His only daughter. Her smile was his. And I would do anything to protect her.
"Good," she said, glancing back at the house. "You are coming in. Uncle Lester was worried you were about to drive away. That's why he sent me out to get you."
"Lester's here?" I asked, hesitating just a moment at the bottom of the porch steps.
She looked at me over her shoulder, one hand on the door. "Duh." Her expression said I was being dense. She was probably right. After all, Abuela Rosa was Lester's grandmother as well. "Is everything all right?" Julie asked, dropping her hand and turning to face me once more.
"It's nothing," I assured her, finally climbing the steps. "I didn't know Lester was coming, that's all." Truth, but what I followed it up with was less so. "Last time I mentioned the party he wasn't sure if he could make it."
Her brow furrowed. "He RSVP'd two weeks ago," she pointed out. "He didn't tell you?"
I mentally hit myself in the head. How could I be so stupid? "Oh," I said, not meeting her gaze. "We, uh, haven't been getting along recently."
"Oh," Julie mimicked me. "I guess that's why he didn't come out and get you himself."
Her words, and the shrug she accompanied them with made it sound like she understood, but my chest tightened. I hated lying to her. She didn't deserve it.
Before I could let my guilt grow any further, the front door was flung open by Celia, her beaming face letting me know just how happy she was to see me.
"Stephanie!" she enthused, brushing past her niece to me. "There you are! Lester said you were here, but I could find you." She pulled me into a tight hug, like she was attempting to squeeze all the broken parts inside me back together. And I could have sworn at least one shard fell into place. "I'm so glad you came," she murmured in my ear.
"I would miss it for the world," I lied, trying to summon up a believable smile. I figured I'd be in amongst the festivities soon enough anyway, so I may as well get started on my façade.
Celia pulled back far enough to look me dead in the eye, but didn't release me. "You don't have to pretend," she whispered earnestly.
I glanced past her to where Julie was still standing by the door. She was checking her phone, but I had no doubt she was still listening. I wanted to tell Celie that pretending to be okay was the only thing that was going to get me through, but I didn't want Julie to worry about me anymore than she already was.
Luckily, I didn't have to say it for her to understand. Being a Manoso, Celia had those same telepathic powers that Ranger had. She just nodded and smiled, squeezing me one more time before stepping back to look between me and Julie. "We'd better head inside before Lester sends someone else out to retrieve us," she announced.
"He's such a busy body," Julie agreed, grabbing my hand and dragging me inside.
The moment I crossed the threshold I was engulfed by the wall of voices chattering from every direction. So far, so good. For some reason I'd convinced myself that the moment I stepped inside, all conversation would stop and I'd have to stand there awkwardly as I was speared by approximately fifty sets of eyes.
Celia latched onto my forearm on the opposite side to Julie and started leading us through the house, clearly searching for someone. "Abuela will kill me if I don't bring you to her first," she explained absently.
As it turned out, Abuela Rosa was in the kitchen, which was full not of people and chatter but glorious food smells… and a Spanish argument. Abuela was determinedly slicing bread, occasionally pausing to wave her knife around as she made some point or another. Her daughter – Ranger's mother, Maria – replied in kind, attempting to take the knife and shoo her out of the way. Rosa was having none of it.
"What's going on?" I asked quietly of my escorts, gaze locked on the arguing women.
"Mamá is trying to tell Abuela to go enjoy her party," Celia explained. "But Abuela is insisting that she is the only one who knows how to cut bread properly."
Abuela swung the knife around, narrowly missing Maria.
"Should we come back later?" I asked, flinching even though I was nowhere near her.
"No, I don't think so," Celia assured me. "If you think this is bad you don't want to see how she reacts when she finds out you didn't come and see her first."
"Good point," I agreed, still staring. I couldn't make myself move.
Julie didn't see my immobility as a problem, though, as she tugged me forward. "Stephanie's here," she announced nonchalantly, like we hadn't been standing there watching them argue.
Their heads snapped around and focused on me instantly. One tense second passed during which I worried over their reactions to my presence before huge grins split their faces. The knife was laid carefully on the bread board, hands were wiped on aprons, and then they were bustling over to me. Both talking at the same time. I only caught a word here and there, but from what I could tell they were happy I'd come.
Maria hugged me firmly, murmuring something Spanish into my hair before kissing my forehead and releasing me so that Abuela could take her spot. When Abuela was finished, she stood back and gave me a once over. "Too skinny," she announced, which was exactly the opposite of the kind of thing that would be said to me at my parents' house. "We'll feed you up," she assured me, cupping my cheeks in her strong old hands.
"Julie, could you go get Tamerin?" Celia requested suddenly.
The girl looked at her aunt, confused, but simply nodded and left the kitchen. Once they were sure she was out of ear shot, all three women turned back to me, serious expressions on their faces.
"I know this is hard for you," Maria started. "But you are part of our family now whether you like it or not. We're not going to let you ignore us the way you've been ignoring the men."
I blinked in surprise. How did she know about htat? Julie clearly didn't know. And I'd thought Celia didn't either, but then again, she was much more intuitive than people gave her credit for – and they usually gave her a lot of credit. Lester had sent her to get me when Julie and I didn't return. Of course she was going to know something was up. There was a time when Lester and I would have been dominating a conversation side by side while Ranger simply wrapped his arm around my waist. Now he was avoiding me? How could she not suspect something?
"Don't look so surprised," Celia said. "Lester's been keeping us updated."
Well there went that theory.
They lectured me a little longer on the importance of family and sticking together, even pointing out that the Rangemen were part of my family as a lot of them had been included into their own. Many of the men didn't have family of their own. Shunning them was hurting them in ways I could imagine. Rangeman needed me and I needed them. All of the things I'd heard about a dozen times before, whether from Morelli, or Carol, or my therapist. But none of them understood. I needed more time. I was on the cusp of figuring out who I was in this post-Ranger world.
And then Julie came back with Tamerin, another of Ranger's sisters and the conversation abruptly ended. Maria plastered on a smile like we'd just been talking about daffodils or something equally as cheerful, and encouraged me to go off and join the party.
I allowed Julie to guide me through the crowd, mingling here and there as we met up with people of interest to her, or whom I was of interest to. I made small talk and nodded and smiled at the appropriate times and they would be satisfied and move on. Then everyone was called to sit down for dinner and my almost okay mood took a turn for the worst. I'd situated myself between Celia and Julie at the table, using them to buffer any conversation that might get too deep for my current frame of mind. I was quite proud of the position I'd chosen as no one within discussion range was likely to interrogate me.
And then Julie beckoned Lester over to sit in the seat on her other side.
Great. I could tell from the glint in her eye that she was planning to attempt a reconciliation between us. She hated it when people fought, especially when she knew how good friends they usually were. I should have known she would try to get us talking before the night was through.
"So, Lester," she said casually, dipping a section of bread into the dregs of her soup. "What have you been up to lately?"
"Keeping busy," he said with a shrug. "Work stuff mostly."
I glanced over at that, noting that he was staring at his own soup, and that his eyes weren't as bright as they used to be. I wondered what was really going on in his life that could wipe the twinkle out.
Julie wasn't put off by his vague answer. She was on a mission. Like a dog with a bone, she was not going to let up. She got that from her father. "What was that story you were telling Uncle Nick earlier. Something about Inspector Gadget?"
He let out a soft chuckle and I saw him shift in his seat out of the corner of my eye. "So Tank's got this robot arm that the tech guy down in Miami made for him," he informed her, leaning one elbow on the table. "It's got all these crazy attachments hidden inside, kinda like a Swiss Army Knife."
Julie laughed at this. "You mean like a Swiss Army Arm?" she threw out there, causing Lester to grin.
"Exactly! That's exactly what I called it!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, so when he was first showing us all the awesome things it could do he was pressing all the buttons and levers and whatever and I was all like, 'You know what'd make this way cooler? Voice activation.'" His eyes flicked over to mine and I realised I was staring at him as he spoke. I quickly averted my eyes back to my food, but I didn't stop listening. "So we were talking about it and couldn't figure out how you would make something like that work until Hank informs us with all his engineering wisdom, that it's probably need a key phrase. To which I replied, 'Like Inspector Gadget?' and he was like 'yeah, pretty much'. And so Tank goes-" He paused to laugh before getting to the punch line. "He goes like this – " Lester raised one arm about his head. "And says 'Go-Go Gadget Chainsaw!' And you know what happened?"
Julie just shook her head, knowing it would be funnier if she let Lester tell the story.
"A FREAKING CHAINSAW CAME OUT OF THE END OF HIS ARM!" Lester cried practically dissolving into guffaws. "I swear he shit himself! I swear it! There was actually shit in his pants."
Unbidden, I found myself chuckling at the visual Lester's words conjured up in my head. I doubt Tank actually shit himself, but who would have blamed him if he had? I mean, he'd just summoned a chainsaw from his arm with just his voice. I'd missed Lester's flare for the dramatic. That didn't mean I was going to rushing back to Haywood first thing tomorrow morning, I had a few more things to come to grips with first, but I suddenly wasn't as annoyed with Julie's tactics as I had been a few minutes ago.
If you haven't allready you should go read "Between the Plans" which is a companion to this story. It'll feature scenes that I wanted to include in the story but couldn't because of plot speed etc. The first chapter is at the club with Greg and Halfred and the rest of the guys.
