Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed.
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July 31, AW : 7:30 am
Cagalli found Athrun sitting on the window sill of the library, silently looking out into the front yard where Fallon had just tackled an unsuspecting Dearka to the ground while he was picking up the volleyball that had fallen out of the court where he and Miriallia were playing a short game. The princess merely frowned in disgust at the sight of the fifteen-year-old girl. If she had her way, she would have had that girl locked up and away from trouble. As far as she could see it, she had been deliberately invading Miriallia and Dearka's personal time, and Miriallia was simply too nice to tell her to get lost.
No wonder she is such a handful. She's half-Coordinator...
But of course, this thought barely lingered in her mind when she saw Athrun sigh dejectedly. She took a deep breath and approached him, hugging him from behind. "Hi there, stranger."
Athrun jumped a bit, which made Cagalli pull away and stare at him in surprise. She had startled him? Strange... He blinked a couple of times in confusion then smiled brightly at the sight of her.
"Hello there," he greeted, pulling her to him. "Did you need me?"
The princess merely shook her head as she looked out of the window. Dearka was screaming frantically as Fallon grabbed him by the leg, twisting it around in an odd angle, rendering the Buster pilot helpless. Miriallia worriedly tried to pry Fallon away from him. "I was just wondering where you were. I've been looking everywhere for you."
For some reason, ever since she had finalized a date for the memorial, Athrun had been acting like a zombie for the last week... Had she not been so busy with working things out, as she had a limited time before they finally return to Japan, she would have loved to sit him down and maybe talk to him about what was going on in his head. She had been dying to know, but it seemed like he was quite ready to make her guess.
Unfortunately, she did not like guessing games. Especially when it was about her man.
"You've been acting really weird lately, Athrun Zala," she pointed out tactlessly, making him raise his eyebrows a notch. "Don't try to deny it. I know when you have something in your mind. You fall into this deep silence that would be broken only when I strong-arm you into telling me what it is."
He merely looked at her with that amused expression.
She crossed her arms over her chest and pinned him a glare as if to make him say it by her will alone.
He, however, did not yield. "It's nothing, Cagalli. Really."
"You're lying to me."
"I'm not. I swear, it's nothing."
She didn't believe him one bit. In fact, she was about to press the issue when suddenly, her attention was caught by Miriallia waving at them from down below. She had successfully removed Fallon from Dearka, who was now running as far away as he possibly could from the two girls. Momentarily distracted, Cagalli waved back. She almost forgot. She was to talk to Miriallia about Fallon's identity; something she had been holding off for the past week because she was so busy with the relocation of the civilians back in Kaguya as well as the memorial itself. It had been such a busy week. She could not remember Orb ever buzzing with such activity. Even the Attha Mansion was flooded with extra people Erika had grouped together for the event.
"What are you guys doing up there?" Milly called as Fallon clung to her arm tightly.
Cagalli leaned out into the window and laughed. "Nothing. Say, Milly? Don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be right down!"
Miriallia nodded. "Weird. Dearka said he'd be coming right up."
Cagalli smiled. Good. She can talk to Miriallia alone.
Athrun nudged her with his knee. "What's that about?"
The princess pulled back from the window and shrugged. "What Murrue told me about Fallon... "
It had been such a strange revelation, the girl being half-Coordinator, half-Natural... Not only once did she ask herself if Fallon herself knew of her bloodline.
Athrun nodded in understanding. She had told him about it, and even the Justice pilot was very surprised to find this out. "So Erika said her mother and sister were both killed in the Heliopolis attack?"
"That's what I heard. If you're going to ask about the father, she never said anything about him. Only that he was not there in the Colony when the attack happened."
This caused Athrun to fall back into his silent reverie, his index finger tapping his chin intently, his eyes narrowing in thought. Cagalli could not help but feel that warm glow in her heart as she looked at him, only to discover that warm glow was of slight annoyance for somehow understanding that if he really wanted to tell her what he was feeling right now, then he would not hesitate to tell her. Leaning forward, she gently touched her lips to his forehead, once again startling him. Pulling away, Cagalli patted him on the shoulder affectionately. "I'll see you in two hours. Remember, we're fetching Kira and the others in the dry docks by nine and Ezaria Jule as well, mind you." Athrun had kept his word about making sure Kira and Lacus would be there in the memorial.
His eyes scanned her face as she backed away from him a step, and she saw his lips curve lightly into his boyish smile. "I won't forget. I can't believe you succeeded in convincing Yzak to come. And it sure surprised me when he was the one who actually volunteered to invite Kari along."
This made the Princess of Orb chuckle. "The moment he heard his mother was coming here, he was so eager to come at the same time trying to act like he didn't care. Then he asked if he could bring someone along, and when I asked him who, he just snapped at me and told me it was none of my business. He didn't tell me who he's bringing along, but who else could it be other than Kari?"
The Justice Pilot shook his head ruefully. "I suppose. So tell me, when are we leaving for Abashiri?"
Cagalli smiled her goofy smile at them mention of their return to that city. She could not believe how much she was looking forward to it. "Early tomorrow morning so that maybe we can ask them to go and tour around the place for a while. Maybe force Kira to take Lacus somewhere and we can go to the beach later tonight, as what we've planned." They had been dying to have a quiet picnic out in the beach for days now. Orb was such a small country, but she knew they would be able to enjoy their brief stay there anyway, at least right before they return to Japan. She looked out the window again and saw Milly bending forward to say something to Fallon. It was then did the door in the library open, admitting a limping Dearka, grass stains on his left sleeve and left pant leg.
"Man, that brat is going to be the death of me," was his words of greeting as he dusted his shoulder in an attempt to remove the stains. He nodded at Cagalli and sneered, making her a bit defensive. The Buster pilot seemed to love to tease her. But remarkably, he didn't say anything mean. "Can you leave us for a while? I kind of need to talk to Athrun here."
Blinking in surprise, the princess of Orb nodded in bewilderment. What could it be that they needed to talk about? Shrugging, she nodded at Dearka, and then at Athrun and made her way down the mansion where she needed to do some talking as well...
Whatever they were going to be talking about, she really did not have the time or the stamina to find out. She was really very tired already...
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Athrun watched as Cagalli shuffled out of the library in a slight hurry, closing the door behind her. It made his heart ache to know that he could not be truthful to Cagalli about certain matters, but this was simply because he did not want her to worry. She had been doing such a fine job with everything lately, ever since her successful speech that he did not have the heart to make her compromise her plans for the sake of one person's feelings.
My feelings...
The Memorial of Honors was going to be aired all over the globe as delegates from all over the world as well as up in space were going to be present in the said event. Coordinator and Natural alike, all will gather for that certain moment when they will honor those that have died in the war. Everyone was looking forward to it.
Everyone but Athrun Zala.
Unlike everyone who was more than proud to cast a paper flower into the ocean, symbolizing the courage of their fallen who have fought bravely in order to achieve peace, Athrun did not know if he deserved to have a flower in honor of his father's name. Patrick Zala... He died with the hope that every single Natural die with him. Athrun clenched his hands into fists as he remembered that day very well. How could he forget? How could a son forget his father's parting words? And how could a son forget that those words were not even words of love for your own flesh and blood?
"Fire... fire the GENESIS... "
And that was it. Did he deserve a flower? Did he die for peace or for victory? Did he pave a way to change this world into a better one?
It pained him to know the answers to those questions. Because all of the answers where the same. No. He did not deserve a flower... He did not die for peace. He did not change anything for the better.
But then why was his heart hurting at this knowledge?
Athrun looked up when he felt someone touch his shoulder awkwardly. Dearka looked down at him from where he stood, an unreadable expression in those eyes. Athrun had always thought of Dearka as this smart-aleck cocky guy who always seemed to talk with detached sarcasm then. It was such a mystery, how peace could make a person change so much.
"You're making her worry," he said as he let his hand drop to his side, looking out of the window at the sight of Cagalli approaching Miriallia and Fallon down below. "You know she doesn't deserve it."
Athrun followed his gaze, smiling sadly. "I know. That's why I'm not telling her." He didn't even know why he was telling Dearka this. He had tried to ask for advice from him once before and it really did not get him anywhere. But it seemed like the Buster Pilot actually understood what he felt.
We may never be parents, but all of us are sons and daughters.
"He would always be your father, that's why," Dearka said taking his place next to him. "Tell her. Ask for a flower to honor your father's name."
Athrun snorted, somewhat trying to mask the searing pain in his heart. He had loved his father. But sometimes he could not help but ask himself if his father ever saw him other than just a subordinate. It was such a pathetic thing to ask himself. "What is it in his name that should be honored? He wanted to blow up the planet. If his name was mentioned in the memorial, it would be like throwing mud at the graves of those who died for the true cause." He closed his eyes. "If I were Cagalli, I would not give him a flower to be honored along with those who died for peace. Not even a leaf."
He heard Dearka move a bit in his place as he cleared his throat. "And what do you feel about this?"
Athrun opened his eyes, stood up and stretched. "I am totally numb inside."
He was such a liar.
Dearka stood up too. "I'm going to get changed, all right? But I'm telling you, you should tell her, and maybe she'll know what to do." With that, he left him in his silent misery. So much the better.
After a moment of standing there, his thoughts swimming, he sat back down on the sill and watched Cagalli and Miriallia talk silently to themselves, Fallon nowhere in sight. He blinked a few times and was about to call out to the two girls when he felt a presence standing right behind him. Looking over his shoulder, expecting it to be Dearka, he gasped at the sight of a tall, stocky man with his dark, thinning hair slicked back over his head. He had an over-all serene stance, with his eyes... those eyes, forever closed.
"Reverend Malchio? When did you arrive?" He asked as he stood up, then stared to feel slightly foolish since he did it out of respect, but lately discovered it didn't matter. He was blind, after all.
"Just last night, my boy." His voice was the same as the last time he had heard him speak when he landed on the island where his orphanage stood. He seemed to be that type of person who spoke little, but every word he said counted. Such a nice, soothing voice. Weird. He wondered why Cagalli never mentioned his arrival. "I thought I heard someone here. I didn't expect it would be you, Athrun Zala."
The hairs at the back of his neck stood up at the mention of his name. It was useless. His mere existence reminded him of his father. And he will be forever reminded of it till he dies. Feeling even more miserable than he already is, he tried to search for a reason for him to make his get-away. He did not know how why, but he did not find it comfortable to be around this man for too long. Maybe it was because regardless of his lack of sight, the Justice pilot felt like the man could see right through his soul. He was about to make a lame excuse to go to the bathroom when the reverend placed a hand on his shoulder. He had a firm grip, and at the same time, gentle.
Surprised, Athrun blinked a few times, trying to clear the thoughts running around his head, suddenly remembering Cagalli's metaphor of his mind being a hamster running around in its wheel. "Err... Is there anything you want me to do for you?"
And with this, the man's placid face broke into a warm smile. "If a child was raised by a thief, he will think stealing is right. The same goes with a child raised by a pastor, who will teach the child values he will wish to mold the child with."
Slightly confused, Athrun shrugged the man's hold away. The man always did speak with riddles about seeds and the like... He did not have the time of the stamina for this right now. But when the man stared to explain, the Justice pilot could not do anything but listen.
"Your father was raised the way he was. If he had grown up in another time, in another place, he would have reacted differently. I know of it."
Athrun did not know if Reverend Malchio had been eavesdropping on him and Dearka, but somehow, a mild irritation started to gnaw at his stomach. Narrowing his eyes at him, he started to talk. "There is no excuse for his behavior. He did not have the right to decide who is to live and who is to die. I never tried to make excuses for him, Reverend Malchio. Please, I beg you, do not start."
"I am starting nothing that of which everyone has started already. We are merely human after all. There are things we do not understand, and so we try to mask our weaknesses by making excuses for ourselves. Your father had his own sense of justice, and he was merely doing what he believed was right. Can you blame him for striving to fulfill justice the way he understood it?"
If he did not hear it with his own ears, he would not have believed it. Someone was actually defending his father's name. Something he himself could not do, his own son. "I don't understand this pretty well. Are you telling me that what he did was all right? He almost blew up the planet along with millions of people in it. I don't see why I should try to fool myself in thinking that he wanted what everyone wanted. The end of the war. Please, let's not go there. I really am not in the mood to talk about his sorry excuses to destroy everyone, with me included." Turning away, he started to walk past him, not really knowing what to do.
He stopped when Reverend Malchio spoke once again. When he spoke, one can't seem to help but listen. "People out there are forgiving each other. Naturals who have lost their loved ones in the Ptolemaeus Base and Heliopolis are grieving with Coordinators who have lost their loved ones in Junius Seven. I do not see how a son could not forgive his father for a mistake he was not even able to commit. You stopped him in time. No planet has been blown up, and we are still here."
Athrun felt his heart skip a beat at what he said. Maybe... just maybe... that direct link of blood to blood was the reason why it made it even more difficult.
How he hated his father...
But at the same time, how he missed him.
Oh, God...
"I have to go. I'm sorry..."
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"Is she okay?" Kira asked when Yzak came back alone from the plane's toilet, Kari not with him at all. The Duel pilot could only stare blankly at him and Lacus as he settled in the seat facing theirs. Kira swore he had never seen him this worried in his life, except when Kari had been throwing up in Kitami Family Land a week ago.
"She kept on telling me her head is throbbing," Yzak said hoarsely. "She's been like that since we entered Orb territory."
"A headache?" Lacus asked, worriedly leaning forward after marking a page on the thin paperback book she had started reading since they left for Orb. The book was entitled The Little Prince, and maybe he was wrong, but the book did not look at all a children's story, regardless of the title. "Maybe she is dizzy," she added.
The light-haired boy could only shake his head. "She said she's fine, but I don't know if she's just telling me that to make me shut up. She says she feels like some presence tingling in her head. A ringing sort of thing." He pulled at his hair in frustration. "I don't understand any of this. She won't tell me anything. Dammit..."
Kira watched as Yzak leaned back on his seat, covering his eyes with one hand. Sighing sadly, he turned to Lacus, but not without smiling at the sight of her today. She was wearing the same dress she wore when they first met in the Archangel when he brought in her escape pod, complete with the gold pin holding back one side of her bangs. She was going sing in the memorial later in the day, and so had decided to wear the same dress she wore in the Bloody Valentine memorial.
"Lacus, can you go check up on Kari? Maybe she needs something?"
The songstress nodded immediately. "All right, Kira." She stood up and smiled at Yzak. "Don't worry too much, Yzak. I'm sure it's nothing."
She was rewarded with a feeble grunt, making Kira grin a bit, which he hid behind one hand. He could not believe how much Yzak has shown over the last two weeks. Emotions the Freedom pilot could not believe Yzak had were popping out of nowhere, making him wonder how Kari could have done it in such a short time. As Kira watched Yzak sitting there right in front of him, absent-mindedly looking out of the window of the plane like a lost puppy, he asked himself for about the millionth time if this was a good thing. It seemed like the light-haired boy was starting to get too attached to the mysterious Karina Takano. But he guessed it was better than having him pretend like nothing else in the world mattered other than himself.
The mere sight of his roommate showing so much care for a single person made him feel pleasantly surprised. And pleasantly relieved.
Kira decided not to say anything as he examined Yzak's face in the corner of his eye. The scar marring his otherwise smooth and flawless features made him irk a bit, and he wondered what the boy really felt about it, wondered if he ever had plans of removing it anytime soon.
"Kira?" Yzak asked suddenly.
The brown-haired boy blinked in amazement, a bit dazed at the mention of his name. How seldom has he heard him say it other than Yamato? "Yes?"
Yzak narrowed his clear blue eyes at the window, huffed a bit then turned to him awkwardly. "I need your help."
Kira almost fell off his seat. Was he hearing right? Yzak was asking help? From him? That can't be right. Yzak was the embodiment of pride. He collected himself, recovering swiftly, and then cleared his throat. "Err... sure. I'll try. What is it?"
He watched those blue eyes dart uneasily from side to side, as if unsure if he should be doing this at all. "Kari has been acting really strange lately. I don't know what's going on. She keeps on talking about memories and shit, and I'm completely lost about it." He ran a hand through his fine hair, letting out a wheeze. "We are trying to find out what's wrong through the MemS - "
Kira paled at the mention of the machines.
Yzak continued hastily. "Wait, I'm not done yet."
Kira recoiled from him, the blood running cold through his veins. "Don't let me near those machines again, Yzak. I might end up destroying it if I ever do."
An emotion that once again seemed so foreign in Yzak's features crept up into his eyes; desperation. "I don't know what else to do. I'm starting to friggin' wig out about the things I've been discovering lately. I tried to talk to her mother, but it seemed like the woman has withdrawn into this shell and wouldn't even talk to me about anything at all."
Momentarily distracted, Kira blinked. Yzak was right about that. He had seen Mrs. Takano over the last two weeks, and she had been acting strange, especially in their Health class, always settled on her desk, reading some strange papers that had made him quite curious what they were. But then, he had never really tried to link it with anything that concerned Kari and Yzak… Didn't Mrs. Takano like Yzak for Kari? Could that be it?
But that can't be right. Yzak had been such a gentleman the whole two weeks…
"Did she say anything? Mrs. Takano, I mean."
Yzak snorted, clenching his hands into fists then began to pound on the armrest hard. "She doesn't say anything except that I am too nosy and it is none of my business."
Kira looked left, then right, uncomfortably trying to look at anywhere but the boy in front of him. He needed his help. And he owed him as much... "What do you want me to do?"
At that, the Duel pilot turned to him, his unbelievably clear eyes sparkling with another unknown emotion. "I need help to find answers for myself. But I can't do it alone." He nodded. "Help me figure out the MemS."
Kira swallowed hard. This was actually what he was dreading. "I can't, Yzak."
The boy leaned forward in his seat. "Please."
And Kira completely keeled over. Yzak said please? Oh, God. And in spite of himself, he found himself looking back at the boy anxiously. And then, he found his mouth opening slowly. "All right, Yzak. I will try."
He watched as Yzak relaxed a bit as if a heavy burden had been removed from his shoulders. He leaned back on his seat, his eyes staring straight into the ceiling of the plane. "Thank you…" was all he said, once again a word that sounded too foreign coming from this Coordinator.
Kira heaved a sigh as well. Perhaps, even Yzak needed someone to pat him on the shoulder and tell him that everything was going to be all right.
"You're welcome."
And then they were silent. Had it not been for Kari and Lacus' arrival, they would probably have remained still.
Kari had one hand on her temple as Lacus helped her to her seat next to Yzak, who immediately was on the edge of his seat, his hand touching her shoulder affectionately. It was so weird. It was really like watching a wolf caressing a rabbit…
"I'm fine," Kari said as she smiled sweetly at Yzak, who simply muttered an incoherent denial of his worry.
Lacus took her seat next to Kira, picking up the book she was reading and placing it on her lap. "We are almost there. Maybe you are feeling dizzy and that's all."
Kari nodded. "Perhaps." With that she leaned her head on Yzak's chest and closed her eyes, her hair falling over her forehead like that of a child. Kira watched the Duel pilot brush it back behind her ear as if out of habit.
Indeed, it was very strange. A wolf and a rabbit... Yzak and Kari...
Lacus distracted him from his examination of the amusingly mismatched yet oddly cute couple.
"Are you sure it's all right for me to come over? Isn't it a bit embarrassing to spend the night there?" the songstress asked as she picked at the sleeve of his shirt lovingly, then Kira watched as her hand traveled from his shoulder to his hand, fingering the thin silver band on his ring finger shyly.
Kira grinned down at her. He had informed his parents a week ago, when they had received the invitation from Cagalli, and they were actually excited. His father told him last night that his mother had been in the guestroom all week, preparing it for Lacus. "They wouldn't have it any other way. Does it bother you that we'll be staying in one house?"
She blushed a bit, then shook her head. "Not at all. It's just that I don't want to be a bother."
The brown-haired boy knocked his forehead against hers. "And since when are you a bother?"
She giggled. "I am always a bother."
Kira found himself once again smiling idiotically as he always did when Lacus giggled. He loved to listen to her laughing and watch her innocently look back at him with those eyes. For the millionth time that week, he asked himself how such a tough and strong girl who led people to victory in the war could be so... alluringly child-like. She had the simplest of desires, simplest of wants. A book can make her smile, and a kiss can make her giggle. It was so easy to make her happy...
And now, as he looked at her playing with the ring on his finger, the ring that she herself had given, he could not help but wonder how he could have been so stupid.
I kept on telling myself that I had been unlucky, that I had been the greater victim of this war... But in reality I knew nothing. Lacus, Cagalli, Athrun... You lost more than I did, yet you were all very strong... You've lost fathers and mothers alike, when I still have my parents with me... I am stupid, and very selfish...
"What are you staring at?"
Kira blinked in surprise and laughed gently as he saw Lacus staring back at him with those wide, innocent eyes. He rested his forehead on her temple, brushing the side of her face with a finger of his free hand. "What else it there worth looking at? Of course, you..."
She hid her face shyly.
A book can make her smile, and a kiss can make her laugh. Almost anything can make her blush, pretty much as she did now.
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Of course, Cagalli couldn't have expected any less of Miriaillia. Maybe it was because she too was having suspicions on how the girl could possibly man-handle Dearka the way she does.
"The father was a Coordinator?" Milly asked her as they made their way across the front lawn to the kitchen where they had suspicions Fallon had scuttled away to while they weren't looking.
The Princess of Orb nodded her head, brushing back the long bangs that had fallen into her hazel eyes. "At least that's what Murrue said. For someone who hates Coordinators so badly, one wouldn't expect she was one, herself."
With this, Milly's index finger flew to her chin in thought. "Actually, it might prove to make more sense."
"How so?"
Milly turned to her, eyes closing slightly as she smiled. "Fallon doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation between Coordinators and Naturals, Cagalli. As far as I can tell, she doesn't give Athrun a hard time for being one, but raises hell with Dearka. Don't you think so?"
This made Cagalli bite her lip, somewhat perplexed. "Actually, no one can miss that fact. but then again, she is a kid. What else can we expect from her?"
"Well for starters, I seriously think her hatred for Coordinators is purely personal. And now that you've mentioned something about her father being one, I seem to finally get her. She's not mad at Coordinators because of the war. She's mad at Coordinators because her father was one."
This was something that she herself had thought about, but it mattered little to her. She did not care about the little girl's past. Just that she was making life pretty hard for everyone right now. She was not feeling optimistic about her coming with them to Japan either, but it seemed like it was the only place she can go to.
Shrugging her shoulders in an attempt to relax her aching muscles, she looked up at the window where Athrun was and narrowed her eyes when she saw him with his back to the window, as if he was talking to someone.
Another problem she had to deal with. She did not like it when he did not tell her everything. She knew that he loved to suffer silently, as he always did out of selflessness. He was so Athrun that way, but in a way, it had always offended her. Prying her eyes away from the window, she led the way into the kitchen and frowned when they discovered Fallon was not there.
"Where the heck did she sneak of to?" she muttered as Milly hurried to the living room. After a moment, her head popped back out.
"Over here," Milly said in a whisper, motioning for her to follow before disappearing once again into the living room.
Cagalli groaned inwardly. Another thing she really did not feel like doing; anxiously trying to understand a disturbed child... If it had not been for Milly's insistence on letting the troublemaker run free within the grounds, she would really have had her locked up in a room. She was like this little rat that managed to get itself into tiny holes it couldn't get itself out of.
Dragging her feet on the floor, she entered the living room and was surprised to see a worried Miriallia kneeling on the floor in front of a curled-up Fallon on the couch, her dirty-blonde head of hair between her knees, face completely unseen under her mop of unruly locks.
A tingle of anxiety nagged at Cagalli's gut at the sight of this hyper little creature curled up into such a defenseless position. "Is she all right?"
Miriallia shook her head, her eyes not leaving the girl in front of her. "I don't know. She's just there, and she won't even look up at me..."
Approaching with a bit of caution, the princess kneeled beside Milly and peered at the girl. "Fallon? What's wrong?"
Milly's eyes met hers before turning away again and touching Fallon's shoulder. "Does something hurt? Talk to me, Fallon."
And with that, much to Cagalli's surprise, the girl raised her face to meet Milly's, eyes wide as saucers, her lips trembling evidently.
"My... head... " was the only thing she stammered out before gasping and throwing her arms over her head in a hurry. "Go... away..."
"Does it hurt?" Cagalli asked, standing up, ready to call for Athrun for assistance.
But Fallon shook her head. "No... My head... someone... in my head... "
Cagalli frowned and turned around, finally deciding to get Athrun, but was pleasantly surprised to find him already descending the stairs, looking like he had been abducted by pod people. "Athrun, I was about to call you."
The Justice pilot snapped out of his reverie and blinked a couple of times before finally realizing Cagalli had addressed him. "Is everything all right?" he asked as he joined the two girls who were worriedly hovering over the curled up Fallon.
For some weird reason, Cagalli was suddenly not very optimistic about that day. She watched as Athrun jumped in worriedly, expertly knowing the first thing to do, immediately snapping orders for her and Milly to do about the situation.
Relieved, Cagalli hurried off to comply. There were just too many things to do, and in less than an hour, Kira and the rest were arriving. This was not turning out to be a good day.
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The last time Yzak had ever been to Orb was when they did a reconnaissance mission on it in search for the Archangel. He had been with Nicol, Athrun and Dearka then. One thing that he took note of it then that was still there until now; it was so peaceful.
As he disembarked the plane with Kari clutching his arm tightly, he felt himself relaxing a bit as a gust of wind blew from the mountains in the north, playing with his hair and collar. Kira and Lacus pushed past them when he saw a screaming Cagalli dart out of a sleek black limousine parked in the dry-docks, followed by an equally excited Miriallia. A very troubled-looking Athrun slipped out of the vehicle soon after, and Dearka whispering something in his ear worriedly. Yzak watched in amusement as Cagalli leaped the last steps up the ramp and tackled Kira to the ground with a loud yelp. The twins fell to the ground with a loud grunt from the Freedom pilot.
"It's nice to see you too, Cagalli," Kira laughed as he pushed the hyper princess up and got to his feet, brushing his bottom before planting a kiss on Cagalli's cheek. "You've gotten thinner. Are you sure you're eating well?"
The princess laughed weakly. Yzak could not help but realize that Kira was right. Cagalli looked thinner then. She must be under a lot of stress lately. "I'm okay. Tired, but otherwise fine." She turned to Lacus immediately, then gave her a tight hug, which the songstress returned affectionately.
"How are you, Cagalli? I hope you aren't overworking yourself," said the pink-haired girl.
"Nonsense. You're the one I'm worried about." The princess elbowed Kira in the ribs. "My little brother isn't giving you a hard time, is he?"
Lacus giggled. "I wouldn't know what to do without him."
The small talk continued and Yzak turned to Kari, who was as usual quiet as everyone else voiced out their thoughts. He watched her silently as she knuckled her temple gently and was about to lean forward to whisper something in her ear when suddenly someone grabbed him around the neck in a tight choke hold, cutting out any coherent thought as anger bubbled up at his throat.
"I knew it! You really did have the hots for Kari! Who da man? You da man!" Dearka hooted as he ruffled his hair messily. Yzak felt all the blood go to his head in outrage.
"Elthman, let me go or I will beat the ever-loving crap out of your friggin' face!" he demanded, struggling out of his vise-like grip.
Dearka did let him go, but not because he took the threat seriously. It was because he wanted to see his face redden up at his declaration that he knew that Yzak and Kari were going out. "Man, look at you! I've never seen you look so good! You've gained a bit of weight. You've not all scrawny and your face doesn't have that hollow dead look it usually has." The annoying Buster pilot turned to Kari, making the girl back away from him a step, an amused look in her eyes. "You are taking good care of him, aren't you? Ah man, Ezaria will be pleased."
Yzak, at the sound of his mother's name, straightened and let Kari deal with Dearka for the while. He spotted Athrun safely behind Milly and Cagalli as they badgered Kira about how he got Lacus to forgive him. Slipping swiftly between the girls, he grabbed Athrun by the arm and asked in a hushed whisper, "Is my mother really coming?"
The Justice pilot blinked a few times, as if he had just snapped out of a trance, then he nodded. "Yes, she's actually expected to be here in half an hour that's why Cagalli reserved some rooms in the hotels in downtown Kaguya for an early lunch. We will be waiting for her before taking her to the Memorial venue, right after we take the representatives to their accommodations."
"Is she the only representative?"
"Unfortunately, yes. But at least that is better than no representative from PLANT at all."
Yzak nodded. He cared less about the representatives. But he had been so anxious in seeing his mother again. How long has it been? And their parting of ways weren't exactly the best of farewells. He was such a disobedient son. Another thing, too, was that he wanted to introduce Kari to her. His mother will truly be pleased. She had always hoped for Yzak to find a calm, sweet girl to balance out his temper.
Yes, Kari will please her...
At the thought, he found himself grinning idiotically and stopped when Athrun started to look at him weird. Clearing his throat, he straightened the collar of his shirt then looked around his surroundings. No sooner did it draw in on him that everything was finally reconstructed. This place had been a battleground from what he heard of it then. Dearka was the one to know. He had been in the battle that took place here not too long ago. "Cagalli's done a good job of things here. Everything seems to be in order."
Athrun followed his gaze with a small smile playing on his lips. "I'll have to agree. She's been working harder than usual. I can't wait for tomorrow when we'd be going back to Abashiri." He wiped his palm on one of his pant leg absent-mindedly. "That way, she can stop growing old too fast."
Yzak could only grunt as he watched Cagalli turn to Lacus again with a smile that seemed too forced on her face. "You're not worrying her too much, are you?" For some reason, he did not like for Cagalli to be that worried. He had really grown quite fond of the princess.
Athrun blinked in somewhat of a surprise. He shook his head vigorously. "Of course not. I try to help her out as much as I can."
Yzak knew Athrun. They had graduated from Military school at the same time, and he had spent majority of his time trying to bring the fellow down in competition. From all the experience of dealing with the top gun ZAFT soldier, Yzak knew when something was bothering him, even when he didn't necessarily care. "I'm not doubting you helping her around. But sometimes, there are other things that need the extra attention. You don't look like yourself lately."
The incredulity in Athrun's dark eyes was evident. "What makes you say that?"
Athrun couldn't lie himself out of a paper bag. That was how he really is. Yzak snorted and turned back to Kari, who was pleasantly laughing at something Dearka was saying. Immediately alarmed of what dirt the Buster pilot was feeding his girlfriend, he shoved Athrun aside and hurried to Kari.
With this, Dearka placed an index finger on his lips and smiled secretively. "Don't tell okay?"
Yzak scowled at him. "Don't tell who what?"
Dearka sneered and went to his rightful place beside Milly, who was busy weaseling questions about Kira still, pretending as if he didn't hear anything.
The Duel pilot suspiciously faced Kari. "Okay, what did he say?"
This amused the girl to no end. "Nothing."
Yzak gritted his teeth in annoyance. He will not beg for her to tell him what was it about. Sighing and trying to regain composure, he let Kari slip her arm through his to once again let her play with his arm hairs. "Are you ready to meet my mother today?"
Kari nodded serenely. "I can't wait. I am sure she is a very nice woman."
There was no doubt to that. He just hoped his mother liked Kari as much. He did not think his heart could take it if the two women in his life did not get along at all.
0 - 0 - 0 - 0
Miriallia frowned as she walked along the empty corridors of the main building reserved for the offices of the houses of Orb. This was also where the chairman would hold office for the time being, but given that Cagalli was going away tomorrow, there really was no room reserved for the princess. The corridors were wide yet they seemed to hold a warm mood, what with wood lining the walls and red carpets were well set on the floor, cushioning Miriallia's steps as she walked up and down in search for the girl that had been giving her and Dearka a headache for the past week.
"Found her yet?" asked a voice from behind her as she closed one of the doors to her left. It was Dearka.
She shook her head. "I know I asked her to stay here... But it seems like she's wandered off." What else was new? Fallon loved to sneak around. It was a miracle she hadn't tried to run away.
He could only shake his head as he placed a hand on her waist to lead her down the hall. "We don't have time for this. Ezaria's shuttle just came in and the representatives from the EA have started to pile in the Square. We have to go and help Cagalli usher them downtown in those limousines Kisaka had provided. It looks like the memorial will be earlier than expected. Too many guests getting really worked out."
Miriallia gasped. This was terrible! They were still lacking manpower... "What? Now? But Kazui and Sai aren't here yet. And the flowers! We haven't distributed the paper flowers yet!"
There were so many things that had to be done for today. Why was everyone piling in so early?
The program Murrue and Erika had prepared as approved by Cagalli was a very simple one, yet with all the people coming in from all over the world, the crowd control was very hard to maintain. They didn't know where to stuff all the representatives coming in from the docks, and it looked like many more are coming. The escort vehicles looked like they were not going to be sufficient enough...
Dearka shrugged helplessly. "We can't look for Fallon all day. Another more person missing is Athrun."
Milly blinked. "Athrun is missing?"
"Yes. Cagalli has been frantic and is torn between searching for him and welcoming everyone who's docking."
It did not seem like Athrun to leave Cagalli hanging at such an important event. "When did you notice he was missing?"
"Right after he met with Ezaria." Dearka frowned himself, then stirred them to a hall that was probably the busiest on the floor where the paper flowers were. About a dozen people were running in and out of an obviously fairly crowded room. "He first stopped to greet me right after Ezaria spotted Yzak with Kari. Then he asked me to assist Cagalli for the while then was off. That was about an hour ago. We never saw him since. I was hoping you've stumbled upon him..."
She shook her head, then suddenly remembered something. "I did see him sneaking in the AV room earlier, but I've been busy helping Reverend Malchio before I discovered Fallon was missing. I didn't know he was going to go into hiding... If there is anyone who should find him, it should be Cagalli."
"Who should be Cagalli?"
Miriallia turned around and gasped as a very disoriented princess of Orb staggered out of nowhere, hair sticking out everywhere, hands wiping at her skirt that was hiking up her leg probably from running. "Cagalli? What happened to you? Don't tell me you are welcoming representatives looking like that?"
She brushed the comment as if brushing aside a fly. "I left Kisaka for the while."
Dearka was amused. "He let you run off?"
This made Cagalli grin. "I deliberately tried to look like this enough to make him drive me off to look more decent." Then she leaned forward expectantly. "Have you seen Athrun?"
Milly looked at Dearka, who looked back at her. She turned back to Cagalli. "I saw him in the AV room earlier. Maybe he's still there?"
This made Cagalli's face brighten. "I swear that boy is going to get it. To think he's going to be playing later in the memorial for Lacus' song!" She was about to run off again, when Dearka's hand shot out and grabbed her arm, making her stop and look back at him questioningly.
The Buster pilot looked a bit flustered before sighing silently. "Cagalli, about Athrun... "
The princess nodded encouragingly. "Yeah?"
A girl carrying a bouquet of those paper flowers Miriallia did not know passed by them after muttering a shy 'excuse me', and Dearka grabbed a single flower, handing it to Cagalli.
Cagalli stared at it questioningly, but took the flower anyway, twirling it around her fingers. "Huh?"
Dearka scratched his head. "Just take it. You will understand what I mean when you see him."
"Who? Athrun?"
Slightly irritated, Dearka nodded then herded her along. "Just go. Find him."
Feeling a bit lost, Miriallia turned to Dearka right after she bid Cagalli later. "What's that about?"
Her boyfriend simply smiled weakly then squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "Athrun needs a flower. He needs it terribly."
Miriallia shook her head a bit. Men were weird. Too bad he didn't have the time to think about it. She sniffed at Dearka playfully before going into the room to grab a bouquet of paper flowers. She should start distributing flowers now, whether or not Kazui and Sai were coming. And what with Lacus warming up for her part in the program, Yzak and Kari accommodating the lone PLANT representative and Kira off to see his parents before everything else, she and Dearka were the only hands available for Kisaka's disposal, aside from the other volunteers.
She might as well start moving and worry about Fallon later.
0 - 0 - 0 - 0
He did not know why Ezaria had to give this to him, but whatever the reason, he did not know if he'd accept it. Looking down at the small leather-bound book clasped in between his fingers, along with a small disc he had never seen before, he found himself making his way across the muffled AV room as if in a trance. Looking around him to make sure he was alone, he switched on the lone overhead projector, illuminating the empty and dark room with hazy white light. Clumsily inserting the disc in the OHP, dreading whatever he was going to see in it, he found himself making his way to the nearest seat and dropping down like a rock.
As if hypnotized, the Justice pilot's eyes widened as the first image appeared on the white surface where the light projected itself. He had to remind himself to breathe at the sight of a very familiar face...
There, in the projection, was a very nervous, young-looking Patrick Zala, holding a sleeping, dark-haired baby...
"He... he's so tiny... dear, take him back... I might hurt him..." Patrick said in a wavering voice as he awkwardly turned to the camera, sweat popping out of his forehead as he laughed nervously.
"Nonsense, dear," said a melodious voice from somewhere. And Athrun's heart stopped beating. It was the voice of his mother... "Look at you. All excited at being a daddy..."
Oh, dear Lord...
Patrick laughed again. "No, really dear. Take him back. I might drop him... or squeeze him... or..."
Another chorus of laughter from his mother, then he watched the camera angle shift, and came a sight that made Athrun choke back some undesirable feeling rising up his throat. His mother... his beautiful, lovely mother came into view, and took the baby in her arms. "Relax Patrick... a parent can never hurt his child on purpose... I'm sure you will never let little Athrun get hurt..."
Oh God...
"One can never be too sure, now can he?" replied the man as he finally relaxed as the burden of the baby out of his arms. But there was no doubt in his face as he looked down at the baby, all the love found in those gentle lines marring his face as he smiled down at it, the glossiness of his eyes as he looked at his wife... Patrick Zala... he actually looked... gentle then...
Oh... God...
"One day, he will grow up and be just like his father... " his mother said as she rocked the baby Athrun in her arms as if holding precious glass. "Wouldn't that be such a wonderful thought, dear? He will be great, just like you..."
Athrun watched in anticipation at the reaction of his father, and found that his heart which had stopped then, was now beating a mile a minute. The pain throbbed at his chest and head as he saw his father frown at his wife, then shook his head. "I pray that that would not be so..."
"Oh, come now. He will be as great as you..."
"No, dear... no..."
Athrun bit down on his lips and closed his eyes as he felt tears tickle at his nose dangerously. He could not watch anymore but he could not get himself not to listen...
"He will be much greater than I. I have made mistakes, and I will never be able to stop making them, because I am who I am. But Athrun... will be greater than I... May fortune smile down on him, and let him grow to be unlike me..."
Forcing his eyes to open quickly, he flipped through the contents of the book Ezaria had given him, and gasped as he saw filed photographs of him and his father, some he could remember, some he had already forgotten. But all felt like thorns thrust into his heart.
What happened to us, Father?
Athrun looked up when he saw something wet heavily drop down on the photo of him riding on a bicycle, with his father holding onto his seat to make sure he didn't fall over. Whatever did happen to them? Whatever it was, he was starting to cry. He had to stop. He did not want to cry for his father...
Another tear fell on the photograph. He wiped at his face roughly, somehow mad at himself. But when he looked back down at the book in his hand, he gasped in surprise when he saw a single paper flower on the book.
"A flower for your father, Athrun Zala."
Athrun was on his feet immediately, clasping the book in one hand and the flower in another. He found himself staring at wide, amber eyes looking at him. They were such beautiful eyes, even when they were crying... Or perhaps that is why they were beautiful... Those eyes were crying now… "Cagalli..."
Athrun looked down at the flower in his hand then shook his head. "He doesn't deserve this... "
"Why?"
"Because he has done so many wrong things..."
He looked back up when he felt a warm hand touching his cheek gently. He saw a lone tear trickle down his Cagalli's cheek. Tired, hollow cheeks... She was most definitely too thin... But still beautiful... "What can I say? All the good things he's done outweigh the bad..."
He almost looked away, but Cagalli touched his other cheek with her other hand, making him look at her intently. "I don't see anything good he's done..."
Cagalli smiled. "I do..."
"What?"
"You..." and without another word, Cagalli pulled him into one of those tight embraces, slipping one of her arms around his waist while her other hand ran through his hair, pushing his head near her neck. "Grieve Athrun, grieve. No one will call stop you from loving your father. None of us can understand. Only you can. So here is a flower... to honor the man that was your father, and not as that man you keep on seeing him as."
And for all it was worth, all the pain, the grief, the sadness, crashed down on him so heavily that it overwhelmed him. The tears came one at a time, then eventually flowed like a river of emotions down his face. And Cagalli, for once, kept quiet, silently listening to what he was not saying as he poured everything out of his heavy heart... draining his soul of angry and bitter tears as he sobbed in his Cagalli's arms.
Crying... grieving... Yes, he never gave himself the opportunity to do so... Yes, grieving would be a good idea...
And he cried an ocean, and Cagalli silently wept with him...
Yes... grieving is good...
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Yuugiri: Ah, what is this? An update? Ah, a miracle! Finally got one out. Been really very disappointed about many things lately. Very stressful. But for the first time I am actually annoyed at an email I have received, "demanding" that I be "considerate" of the readers and update SOON. (grumbles) Ah yes, well, in all honesty I would love to update every week, and maybe I could do this, if I didn't have a life. Fortunately for me, I DO have a life other than Fanfiction... Now this email would have normally pissed me off, had it not been for the very supportive emails I've received. (happy again) and the reviews of course, from understanding reviewers from this story and the little ficlets I wrote along with them. So yes I am very, very much compensated, regardless of this email that seems to think I will be doing fanfiction for a living and that he/she is paying me to do so... (frowns) But must not be bothered! (smiles again)
Truly, to those who have waited for the update with patience, here it is. Sorry for the delay. Thank you for those who have reviewed this story and my other stories. I have pretty much experienced everything such as being tackled last Valentines day (which really cheered me up then!), being a human target and having being given food. All of these cute reviews cheer me up, they really do. It reminds me that fanfiction is not a chore, but a medium of fun. (hands you all cookies)
Another note, some readers are giving their guesses on Kari's true identity, and I am very pleasantly surprised to know that some are coming real close to it. But here is a clue: Kari has absolutely nothing to do with Fllay. The red hair and the eyes are mere coincidences. If you are thinking about it, you can scratch that out from the equation. She has no connection to Fllay at all.
Also, some have asked of the whereabouts of Yalin. LOL! Do not worry! He is not forgotten. He will be playing quite a role sometime in the very near future. Kian, too. I just had to say it, as the appearance won't be until after a few more chapters. ,
Ah yes, and now to promote something. I have created a website, "Cookies Anyone?" I have posted some sketches of the Insatiable Heart there, some OC's (Karina Takano, Kian Takano, more under way) included. I am barely learning Adobe Photoshop, so some of them you might find a bit crappy... You can find them in the gallery. A simple request though, when you visit, please sign my guestbook so I might know what you think. Do not bother with the emailing, because that is a very inconvenient thing to use which I will be removing soon enough. You may access this site through my profile. Just click on the homepage and there you will go! Yay!
Ah so once again, thank you. Pardon the chapter, as it is a bit slow. I will try to make it better on the next update. I just had to put this one on. The problem I find with the AthrunCagalli pairings, you see, is that it is so hard to find a conflict for them… They are just too perfect… ,
Ja!
