Hey, new chapter! Here you have it! Hope you like it!
The poll is officially closed from now on! You can view the results on my profile, but if you feel to lazy to look at it, I will just tell that the manga won. Those that wanted to follow the anime, don't worry! I plan to make another fanfic once this one is finished, and I will make the setting in the anime world. I don't know when it will be out, yet, but one day for sure! I just don't want to start another until this one is finished.
Here are the coments to your lovely reviews! Thanks for commenting, you all make my day with every single review!
Esper Mammon: Tofu is certainly way cuter than I had originally intended. He's just a big tsun-tsun. Dalia's mind is really... something. I don't even know where that came from, I personally though Taker acted more like a ferret. Sneaky, a thief and with a complete disregard of his personal appearance. Really, poor hair, he should take better care of it.
guadadominguez4: haha! I don't know if my poor heart will be able to bear it, but I will definitely try! They are terribly cute and awkward those two. I really don't know what happened for them to turn up like this.
Well, Tofu's real plan is now out of the bag! That's what he had been busy with, so you really had a good hunch! Yeah, it's kind of sad, but reassuring at the same time. I hadn't really meant for that to be a reassurance, as in the timeline in which this was discovered, Dalia had found that... the hard way, but I'm sort of glad that she's not so worried anymore. Even if she's still a worrywart.
Taker definitely doesen't like Sebas-chan, and I can say that he's definitely a bit more than worried about her reaction. Muahahaha, more of that in the next chapter! They will both be appearing there! Author promise!
steph557: Dalia getting angry was unexpectedly funny. And don't worry! The very next chapter will be the so expected meeting! I really like that little Phanthomhive, too. I also want to know his name, and I know there are a lot of possible names, but I don't wanna risk it until the great godess Yana-sama saying her final word.
jj510: I'm glad that you like it! I make it my goal to draw a smile out of everyone who reads my chapters!
Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, the great godess Yana Toboso does. Hail her!
The Gamer: Fun and Games
"You know, when I agreed to spend more time with you, this isn't what I had in mind." I monotoned as I bashed yet another monster's face.
'You have gained 5000 exp points'
"Too bad, this is what I want to do. More importantly, what I want you to do." Tofu answered, not moved at all.
"Slave driver" I whined, grumbling
"Watch it, human. Or I might just force you into our original deal." The clown warned.
"What deal?" I asked, confused.
"I, the great and kind Tofu..." I heard Undertaker's snort from behind me. "...Have decided to change the parameters of your mission." The toy seemed to glow with pride, as if expecting some kind of praise. I petted his head, just to make him happy.
He had changed my mission...? The one about killing Zachary?
"Really?" I made sure, looking at the proud looking toy with a bit of suspicion. It couldn't be that easy, right?
"Yes." The toy seemed to brighten, looking extremely proud of himself.
"What's the catch~?" The reaper seemed to sense my suspicion and decided to chime in, asking what he knew I wouldn't dare ask.
"There's no catch you stupid mumm- ..." Tofu closed his mouth midway through, interrupting himself. Then opened it again like a fish. He spent a few minutes like this, not saying anything. It looked like the toy was at a loss, like... he didn't know what else to call Undertaker.
This has to be the first time Tofu has been left speechless. And we didn't even do anything.
It took me a few more seconds than it should, to realize the reason why Tofu had interrupted himself, but when I did, it made me very happy the toy was genuinely trying. He had promised, after all.
"How about Undertaker?" I suggested calmly, hoping that the clown wouldn't become frustrated and lash out.
"..." The toy didn't react, lost somewhere inside his mind.
"I wouldn't mind if you added a: 'highly honorable' before that~" The reaper mentioned, smirking at the clown like the smug bastard he is.
"Taker don't push it" I swatted the mortician away, giving the clown some space. And he had looked so happy a second ago...
"..."
"Aww~" The mortician whined, trying to get in my face, poking my cheek while I did my best to ignore him.
"How about simply: reaper." I offered to the clown. "It's simple, true and not insulting." I reasoned, but the clown didn't seem to react. Maybe he wanted a more insulting word? "...and if you apply enough derision in it, you can almost make it into an offensive term."
"..." Tofu, for all instances and purposes, had been rendered speechless, he didn't even seem to be hearing our words.
Tofu had promised that he would stop calling Undertaker any of his wide assortment of insults comparing him to an undead being, and while I was happy he seemed to be genuinely trying to maintain his part of the deal, I was a bit worried.
Tofu wasn't known for his patience, of all things.
That didn't mean Tofu couldn't be patient, he had to be, if he had managed to escape my notice for so long, but...
I eyed Tofu's blank, expressionless face, yellow eyes staring at nothing, mouth open with no words forming in it.
His patience didn't usually extend to conversations. Or Undertaker.
Least of all a conversation in which Undertaker happens to be the current topic.
"You..." Tofu finally snapped out of his stupor, with the expected amount of frustration and anger in his voice. "You... you... You Osiris wannabe!"
What?
...
...
Wasn't Osiris an Egyptian god?
One that just so happened to be dead?
As in, mummified kind of dead. As in, cut into pieces and strewn across Egypt, kind of dead.
"Tofu..." I mumbled, a bit disappointed that the clown had decided to give up.
"I had to. I HAD TO!" Tofu shouted, defending himself.
"..." Undertaker, at least didn't seem to get that angry. He was just staring blankly at the clown.
After a while, he sighed, letting the insult slide.
Thank goodness that there's still someone with enough sense around here.
I petted Tofu's hair. Hoping to distract him.
"So... why did you make me come to a dungeon and start killing things, if you're changing the mission?" I asked, confused.
"Don't you mind that, I just needed a few things to finally pull this through, it wasn't easy, you know? So you better appreciate the fact I'm gonna give you another way. You can choose whatever way you want, as long as you get rid of Zephyr." The clown stared, back to his proud demeanor from before.
"Yeah, but... What way is that?" I asked, to which I was answered by a cocky smirk, rather than words.
'You have leveled up skill [Create ID] to max level'
'You can now create a new dungeon [Blank ID]'
"Eh..." I mumbled, unsure what had happened.
"Create it" the toy ordered, not missing a beat.
"Alright..." I cautiously agreed. I hope this wasn't one of his pranks...
I created the new type of Instant Dungeon, watching as a small goblin ran up to us to try to attack us before we left.
I threw one of my magic projectiles, my new preferred attack. It didn't kill it, but it pushed it far enough away to let us leave and enter the new dungeon.
Looking around I saw... black. In any direction I looked at, I only saw black.
"Blank ID? More like black ID..." I grumbled, looking around confusedly.
"This, is a very special place, and normal people would crawl, kill and beg to be able to do what you are going to be able to do." The toy explained, making me shiver.
"I don't know why, but hearing you say that somehow gives me the creeps..." I mumbled, looking warily at the toy.
"Look at this place as a blank space, it is your job to fill it in any way you want. It was very difficult to manage this, so appreciate my effort!" The toy stated, looking haughtily at me. I just stared, trying to understand his words.
...
"What?" I finally gave up, not really knowing what the toy wanted of me.
"Grr... imagine something, doesn't matter what it is." The toy grumbled, glaring at me.
"Eh..." I mumbled, trying to come up with something.
"Come on!" The clown pressed.
"I don't work well under pressure!" I whined, squirming.
"Imagine cookies, little Lia~" Taker chimed in from his place beside me.
Thanks Taker, you're a life saver.
I imagined a cookie. Simple as that.
A cookie was in front of me. A cookie that hadn't been there seconds before.
...
Eh?
"Whatever you desire, you have just to imagine it, and it is yours." The clown explained, as proud of himself as can be.
I looked at the cookie fascinated.
"A cookie appeared..." I marveled, touching the cookies reverently. It was real!
"Yes, a cookie appeared. Now, you" He pointed at me, like I didn't know he was talking to me. "... Are going to use this" he pointed at our still-black surroundings. "...to defeat Zephyr. That big bad guy, remember...?" The clown sarcastically asked, looking at me like he was talking to a child.
And I didn't mean he was talking in a nice, baby-talk way like Undertaker sometimes liked to do. He talked like he doubted my mental capabilities would be enough to comprehend his words. Not nice at all, Tofu.
Finally Undertaker decided to pipe in.
"This must be very difficult to make~... surely it must have some kind of drawback~?" The mortician casually mentioned, looking sideways at the clown.
"Tsk. No drawbacks you... idiot. Just don't expect to be able to bring anything created in here into the real world." The toy grumbled, looking away.
...
And my cookie?
"I cannot bring this cookie outside this dungeon?" I asked, looking at the sugary goodness in my hand.
"No. You can't bring your cookie" the clown growled, not having enough patience to deal with me and my cookie. So I quickly ate it.
It tasted good. Very cookielicious.
Tofu rolled his eyes.
"You can still use this place to create a training room, try changing different things, like gravity, or create terrifying monsters, or something. A monster that will make Zephyr wet his pants when we seal him here"
"Won't Zephyr be able to escape~? You did give him the ability to move between dimensions~" The mortician asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Not with this one. You just have to imagine he doesn't have that power anymore, or some magic chains that can restrict that power, or whatever idea comes to mind. In here, your only limit is quite literally your imagination." The clown stated, once again looking so proud he could start shining.
"Then we're screwed" I grumbled pessimistically.
My imagination didn't go very far, beyond imagining the worst possible outcome... or imagining things that will only scare me. Or worrying needlessly.
"Grr... it's very easy: bring Zephyr here, remove his powers with whatever bullshit you come up with, leave him here, and forget he ever existed. He won't be dead, you can't have any complaints. You do that, or kill him. I don't care what you choose as long as we get rid of him." The toy growled, apparently cross that no one seemed to appreciate his efforts, so I started to pet his head. I was thankful, I just... failed to see myself as being able to use this to its full potential.
I looked around, nothing had really changed, just that endless black void. It wasn't dark, I could look at Undertaker and Tofu perfectly well, but there wasn't a single silver of light around.
If I could change everything... did that mean I could get out of this black surroundings? Seeing as the only way to know was trying, I imagined a nice place to be in. Maybe a sunny place with cute flowers. Or a kitchen with cookies.
A wide meadow suddenly replaced the endless void, a small house sat atop the only small hill. A few miles away, I could see a lake, the clear water reflecting the sun like gemstones.
I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face.
Was this really just an illusion?
It felt more like... another dimension.
"This place is far too nice for Zephyr, next time try with more fire and brimstone." The toy grumbled, looking around.
"Hi hi~ it does feel very real~" The mortician stated, looking at the grass beneath our feet. He poked it a few times, it acted just like grass did.
"It does, doesn't it?" I smiled at the mortician. This place was really nice.
I made more cookies appear.
"You can also make something already existing change, rather than materialize something new." The toy gave me a bit of advice, looking blankly at my cookies.
Something change? There were a lot of things that could change... but what should I change...?
...
...
...
"Like turning that cookie into fried fish~" The mortician giggled next to me, looking amused at my immediate reaction to his words.
No way! Why would I want to do that?!
Stupid old man! He's so stupid and blind he couldn't see the greatness of a good baked cookie even if it slapped him in the face! Humph!
I blinked looking at the mortician, realizing that I was completely right, after all.
Oh! Idea! Idea! Idea!
"Oh! Oh! Eh... Would this work?" I asked, so giddy I couldn't stay in place, looking at the reaper excitedly. He just looked confused.
"What are yo-"he started, but Undertaker suddenly interrupted himself and widened his eyes to the size of oranges, wildly looking around.
Please tell me it worked.
Gosh, I hoped it worked, and that I didn't horribly screw him up forever...
The reaper turned to me, as if seeing me for the first time.
"Ah... great. I'm going to leave you two lovebirds alone. I really shouldn't have allowed that." The toy grumbled, and proceeded to turn itself into a nondescript cardboard box, falling to the floor with a single thud.
Undertaker was looking at me. Straight at me, eyes roaming every part of my body. Examining and analyzing everything.
I felt kind of exposed.
"I'm... guessing it worked? Can you see, now?" I asked, a bit self-consciously. His eyes were piercing through me, it was kind of intimidating. Was it my imagination or were his eyes shining?
I didn't get an answer, instead Undertaker hurled himself to me, tackling me to the ground. Any resistance was met with an immovable wall called Undertaker, who seemed quite determined to keep me in place and hugging the life out of me, kissing everything that got in front of him, mainly my face.
I felt like I was being showered in kisses. It was almost overwhelming.
I had guessed that if I could change Undertaker's bad eyesight he would be happy, but... Uh... well I wasn't quite expecting this. I hadn't expected him to be this happy.
"I can't breathe... Taker..." I gurgled from my place in his arms, trying to get a bit of air.
He finally stopped assaulting me, and jumped up and away, taking me with him. He started making a weird dance in which he would jump on one foot and then jump on the other as he waited for me to put myself together. He seemed... awfully energetic. It was strange, as he usually acted like a cranky old man, right now he was acting like a child on a sugar high.
"I can actually look when I do this, now~!" The reaper made a pose like he was looking at something very far away.
"I would imagine..." I mumbled, trying to ignore the fact the reaper wasn't staying still.
"I can almost see the back of my head!" The mortician stated, staring at the horizon with a grin.
"That's impossible, Taker." I said, but he didn't seem to hear me.
"I see the universe~!" I grinned.
"Taker no" I tried, knowing he wasn't going to stop while he was like this, but trying anyways.
"I see time~!" His mouth and eyes were so wide, looking at everything with renewed curiosity, that I honestly worried Tofu had put him on drugs.
"Taker..." I started.
"Life and death~!" The mortician kept going on, making me sweatdrop.
"Uh..." I looked around, trying to find some way to calm him.
"Love and hate~!" He was staring blankly at outer space... or something. I honestly don't understand what he's saying anymore, so I'll just... nod along.
"Sure, whatever floats your boat" I mumbled, considering if I should bring more cookies, not finding any reason why I shouldn't.
"I can see into your mind~! I CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL~!" The mortician giggled, looking straight at me.
Well, that was creepy as hell.
It was somehow made worse by his intense eyes, wider than normal, staring straight at me.
Taker crawled towards me like the asylum escapee he was. I leaned back and away.
He was fast and, for the first time in ever, he had a better hand-eye coordination than me. Making it very difficult for me to escape. Well, more like impossible.
He tackled me again, showing his appreciation in the best way he knew of: invading my personal space.
I tried to move my head away from Undertaker's enthusiastic kisses, so I could try talk some sense into him.
"I don't think it will last outside of here... so maybe you shouldn't be that happy..." I attempted, but if he was listening to me, he found my words meaningless, as he ignored them completely, kissing my cheeks, mouth, nose and neck like his very life was on the line.
My hands on his face didn't seem to do anything to impede his actions.
"Takeeeer..." I whined, trying to save some face.
He finally teared himself away from me.
"The world seems so clear, now... I can see you..." the mortician finally calmed down, looking to be his calm embarrassing self once again, staring at me like... I don't know. Like I used to look at Kala.
I blushed. I'm... not that pretty to look at... average, at best. Average in everything.
"You did have a good idea~... I'm afraid I won't be able to tease you anymore~" the mortician teased, caressing my cheek softly as I sulkily ate a cookie.
"Go bald" I pouted, looking away.
Tofu peeked from inside the cardboard box that had suddenly appeared, looking from side to side.
"Are you done?" He glared at us.
"No~" The mortician stated, looking at the toy like he was staring at a cat, while being allergic. It was a very particular face.
"Yes" I said at the same time, looking at the mortician when he pouted. Blinking I decided to kiss his cheek, which seemed to work. He stopped making that disgruntled face, at least.
"Good, because I think I was about to get diabetes, with all of that sweet..." he made a vague gesture to Undertaker, who turned to pout at in my direction, as If silently telling me that Tofu was being a meanie.
"I have a question. If we kill things in here, do we level up? And if we do, do we keep the levels when we go outside?" I asked, raising my hand to get the toy's attention like we were in class.
"That's the spirit! If you create and kill a creature here, you do get experience according to how strong it is. And any experience you gain here, will be kept when you leave." The clown seemed awfully proud of my attempt at becoming more involved with this dungeon. He must have tried very hard to make it, and it was really useful. An unlimited supply of cookies! Ah, and a way to temporarily fix Taker's eyes.
"So, it's more cheating~?" The mortician giggled, hugging me as he looked at the clown curiously.
"Yes. Because she's an idiot" the toy grumbled. Hey!
"Why does everyone pick on me? I just had a good idea..." I sulked.
"Just because an idiot has a good idea once doesn't mean they stop being an idiot." The clown haughtily looked down on me.
"I hope you're satisfied, because tonight you're both sleeping in a coffin."
"What did I do~?" The mortician grumbled, trying to nuzzle me in an attempt to change my mind.
"Could be worse" the toy casually stated, not very worried.
"Together" I added, seeing both of their faces immediately sour.
"..."
I screamed bloody murder.
A hand pressed itself into the back of my neck.
An ice-cold, freezing hand.
An ice-cold, wet, freezing hand with long black nails and a scar on the pinky finger.
"Get it off!" I wailed, squealing and squirming.
"Hi hi hi~ something the matter, little Lia~?" The mortician giggled.
"Takeeeeer! Don't do thiiiis...!" I wailed, trying to move away.
"Do what, my precious, funny, adorable little Lia~?" Undertaker stated with incredibly fake innocence.
"Takeeeeer" I wailed, trying to escape.
"Hi hi~ alright~ alright~" He finally gave up. The colder than death hand went away. I turned around, ready to chew out the reaper.
Undertaker was behind me, soaked from head to toe, a grin splitting his face in two, both hands facing my direction, twitching menacingly.
I thought better of it. He would just touch me again with those cold fingers of his.
It was raining today, he probably went outside. That would explain why he was so wet.
"Go change clothes you crappy old man, you'll get a cold and then you'll complain about how old you are." I grumbled, fussing over his stated, trying to get him out of his clothes. He would get sick, if he stayed like this.
"I don't complain~. And I don't get colds." The mortician grumbled, letting me fuss over him. He tamely stood still as I got him out of his wet robe.
"Really? I thought that was a myth?" I asked, stopping at what I was doing, looking up at the reaper.
"Myth?" He blinked, tilting his head to the side.
"Yes. You know, what they say about fools and all that..." I said.
"..." Undertaker just stared at me with an impassive face.
"..." I stood there, waiting. Pressing my lips together to avoid smiling before I made sure I got his approval. Maybe he didn't get it? Maybe I should explain it?
"You got that sass from the clown, didn't you...?" The mortician finally asked, staring blankly. Ah! So he did get it! Good, good!
"Yep" I looked expectantly at the reaper. "Was I any good?" I finally asked, looking for approval.
"It was kind of smooth, I honestly wasn't expecting it. But next time, save it for the clown, alright~?" The mortician finally gave his opinion, putting his hand on his chin in a thinking pose.
"Okay!" I cheered, happy that I was getting better with this.
A hand petted my head.
An ice-cold hand.
A wet, ice-cold, freezing hand.
I had honestly forgotten his hands were freezing.
"Aaaah!" I immediately started squirming again, trying to move away.
"Hi hi hi~ you didn't think your sass would go unpunished, did you~?" The mortician's eyes were shining maliciously, his mouth sporting a wide grin.
"I... I kind of did..." I sniffed, teary eyed.
"Awww~... poor little Lia~" He cooed, hugging me with his cold, cold arms. He was getting me wet.
"Don't say that while you're the reason why I'm suffering, you stupid old man!" I wailed, trying to escape his hold.
Undertaker finally released me, weaving his hands through his hair, moving it aside.
His wet hair.
His precious, wet, silvery white hair.
His precious, wet, flowing, pearly, messy, beautiful...
Alright, I think that's enough gushing over his hair for now. I will pick up this train of thought later. Right now I have more important things to do.
Undertaker stood still as I approached him, almost pouncing on him, letting me undress him, as took out his wet clothes, leaving him in his pants. I blushed, but didn't peek at his bare chest. Alright, maybe a little. But on accident. Alright maybe it wasn't an accident, but it was just once, and for a short while.
Okay, I was staring shamelessly at his chest, but on my defense, it was his naked chest, and it was magnetic.
I shook my head from side to side, trying to clear my head. He barely twitched when my hands started brushing the sides of his legs. Should I?
As I considered if I really wanted to try to completely undress the mortician, I absentmindedly brushed my fingers on the scar on his chest, staring at it while I thought. I did have an ulterior motive to getting him undressed, of course, but I really didn't want him to get sick. Maybe I should go get some clothes for him? Being without a shirt right after being wet wasn't a good idea... not to mention he was still wet. He didn't miraculously dry while I traced the scar across his chest, obviously.
Yeah, I should go get a towel or something.
As I turned around to go do exactly that, a pair of arms wrapped around my midsection, preventing my escape.
"Ah! Cold!" I whined, squirming away. The mortician poked my cheek, but released me with a pout.
I used that to escape to the bathroom, to fetch a brush and towel.
I returned only with the towel, just to see the mortician pouting as he sat on a coffin. I started drying every part of bare skin I could see, starting with his back.
When I had already dried every part of his upper chest and arms, I started to make my way downwards softly caressing his stomach with the towel.
I still had to look for it... didn't want to leave it like that.
The reaper sighed, pleased.
I got to the rim of his pants, and stayed there for a while, thinking if I really wanted to get him out of those pants by myself. Someone could enter... I looked at the shop door. It was closed, no one would be entering.
Hum... maybe I should let him do it. Then again, he doesn't seem to be in a helpful mood, if the way he's smirking is any indication...
As my fingertips teasingly brushed the outside of his thighs over his wet pants I decided that he was like a big baby, so I shouldn't be embarrassed... right? It's not like we hadn't done worse... I mean... huh! It wasn't there... where did he hide it, then? He was half naked, it's not like he could hide it in that many places.
Undertaker's hand went to the back of my neck again leading me upwards again, cold fingers weaving through my own hair, moving it aside so he could kiss me.
If he thought he could distract me with that, he's dead wrong.
My hands quickly went downwards again, trying to look for the disappeared brush. It wasn't in the bathroom, so I could bet money he has it. But where?
I lightly pushed the mortician so he was leaning against a coffin. Anyways, I still had to dry him...
The reaper moaned, letting his head and back also fall against the coffin, leaning against it like a model of one of the sexy magazines of this time that like to especulate about women's underwear. Undertaker has very strange tastes in literature.
I used that moment to also dry his face a bit, as he was now at a reachable height, unlike before.
My arms sneaked around his torso, wondering if there was an ulterior motive why he was laying over the coffin. Maybe he was hiding the brush from my view with his body, I wouldn't be the first time. Undertaker's back arched sensually at this, allowing me to make sure that he wasn't actually sitting on the brush.
I paused my actions for a second, looking at Undertaker's reaction at what I was doing.
He looked positively sinful. I bet he's hoping that by doing this I'll get embarrassed and distracted, but there's not a chance. Even if I am a bit embarrassed, the frustration of seeing his hair a completely wet mess overrides the embarrassment of everything Undertaker is doing.
Where was he even hiding it? He was half naked for cookie's sake! Did I have to completely strip him to find the damn thing?!
Returning to the search of my brush, I tried to ignore Undertaker to the best of my ability, but he was squirming and moaning, making it very difficult to focus, his hands prodding me for attention.
Undertaker kissed me passionately, making my legs turn to jello and momentarily forget what I was doing.
What was I doing again? Ah, Yes. Searching the brush. And drying the reaper to avoid him getting sick while I was at it.
I threw the towel away, he can do that himself, I want that brush and I want it now.
"Taker move" I growled, glaring at the smirking reaper.
I was just answered by a widening of his smirk and a teasing movement of hips.
...
I know where the brush is. It's fairly obvious, now that I look at it.
"Little Lia~!" Undertaker whined.
"Taker..." I blankly stared at the place the brush was bulging from its hiding place.
"No~!" The reaper all but screamed, when I put my hands on the brush, eyes wide and mouth open, cheeks completely red.
Got it.
It was behind his head, tangled in the locks. I don't know how I didn't notice, before. With all of the reaper's movements it had tangled even more, making it insultingly obvious where it was.
It was so obvious that I feel disappointed in myself. How didn't I notice when I took out his uniform?
The reaper was squirming and complaining, crying about something or another.
"Little Lia~! You are so cold~" he whined, hugging me with his cold hands and hanging off of me like a monkey.
I frowned at his words. I'm not cold. Compared to him, I'm very warm.
"What are you talking about, you're the freezing one." I said, trying to squirm out of his freezing hands.
"Not that kind of cold little Lia~" The mortician whined, releasing me, but pouting quite hard, looking dejected.
...
Still don't get it.
"What did I do?" I mumbled, looking at the pouty reaper.
Undertaker sighed, as I urged him to turn around so I could brush his hair.
"You're leaving me all wet, hot and bothered~" he whined, kicking his legs around with a pout.
"...but you're freezing...? And I did dry you a bit, if you're still wet you should get out of those pants. Get dry clothes." I pointed out.
"Not that kind of hot, dear~" The mortician sighed, resting his head on me.
...
...
Is he alluding to his attractiveness?
"You're always hot" I said, truly meaning it.
The reaper coughed in surprise.
"No I'm not!" He quickly shot back, alarmed.
...is Taker self conscious about his attractiveness? He shouldn't, he's very attractive. At least by my standards.
Maybe it's the scars? He's still cute, even with scars.
"...Yes, you are" I assured.
"No! I just..." The reaper fell silent, ears and cheeks red. "You're evil" he muttered, looking away.
What?!
I'm- I'm not evil! I'm the good girl here! He's the evil one!
He steals my brush and my toothbrush and my pajamas and my food and my heart... he steals everything! I just steal cookies from time to time!
I'm a good girl, I swear!
"What did I do...?" I had just wanted to reassure him. I hadn't lied, I do think he's good looking.
"Awww~... come on little Lia~... don't make that kicked puppy face~... you know I'm weak for the puppy face~" he cooed, hugging me.
"I just... don't know what did I do, to be evil... I give you cookies, once and again..." I muttered looking away.
"It's not that, little Lia~... You're good, alright~? You're a very good girl~" he patted my head
"You're lying. You said I was bad" I mumbled pointing out the obvious lie.
"I said you were evil." He pointed out.
"That's the same!" I shouted, indignation clear on my voice.
"Well, then I take my words back, you're very cute, good and funny~... does that make you feel better~?" He asked, smiling at my pout.
I narrowed my eyes at him. He was smiling, sitting on the coffin, kicking his legs around, I was behind him, brushing his precious long hair.
I decided to let the subject die. I wasn't evil. His face is evil. He should go bald.
"Well, I was about to ask your help with a little problem of mine, but our conversation actually took care of it for me..." he casually mentioned.
Eh? Undertaker needing help with something...?
"That's... good, right?" I asked. If he didn't help anymore... it was good right?
He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.
"More or less... I was actually thinking of dealing with it in another way~..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively "...if you catch my drift~..." he smirked.
"I'm not really catching anything, but okay." I mumbled, fighting against a knot on his hair, formed thanks to the mortician's choice of hiding place for the brush.
"..."
The reaper sighed, bringing me closer to him, making me sit on his lap. I had to give up on the knot. For now.
"Listen carefully little Lia, I'm just explaining this once." I nodded, listening attentively. "When two people love each other very much~... are you listening, Little Lia~?" I nodded again, I was listening. I wanted to brush that knot, but I wasn't, I was listening like a good girl. "... alright... when two people love each other very very much... are you sure you're listening to me?" The mortician pouted at me.
"Of course I'm listening. Go on, I'm interested. What happens when two people love each other?" I wanted to know, what if it happened to us? I needed to be prepared. I could keep fighting with his hair later.
"... alright, don't say I didn't give you a chance to back out." He warned.
I blinked. What?
"When two people love each other very much, they want to make each other feel good~..." He finally started explaining.
I nodded uncertainly. It was true.
"...they kiss, and hug each other and they have a lot of fun~..." he kept going, blushing slightly.
We have done all of that, so far.
I don't really understand the purpose of this conversation.
"...and then they have sex" he finished.
"Wait, What?" Things were going very differently, in my head.
Without witing for me to catch up, the mortician kept going. "...and if they pray very hard to a god that won't listen and do the naughty a lot, then they're blessed, and god puts a baby in the future mom's stomach." He smirked at my expression.
I widened my eyes, horrified.
"Tell your god to keep their pervert, grabby hands away from me" I warned.
"Little Lia..." he bit his lip, trying very hard not to laugh. Or cry. Hard to tell right now.
"Wait a second... were you giving me the talk?!" I finally realized.
"Well, thank you." The mortician brought his hands upwards in victory. "For a second I thought I wouldn't get through to you. I was starting to think I would be the only one getting embarrassed, today" he grumbled.
"Wha- how- WHY?!" I muttered, embarrassed,
"Why did I give you the talk?" He asked, smirking.
"And involving your god in it! What business does God have, in our bed?" I accused, offended.
"Some people feel safer, with that thought." He simply stated, shrugging.
"Well I don't! I feel like your god invaded our privacy! I want to sue them! Give me the papers Taker!" I stated.
"It doesn't really work like that... and God doesn't really care much about what we do or stop doing in our bedroom..." he muttered.
"Your god is a voyeur!" I shouted.
"Little Lia no" he widened his eyes, biting his lips.
"Pervert! Pervert!" I wailed.
The reaper clamped a hand around my mouth, hastily shutting me up.
"You may not get in trouble, but I definitely will, if someone gets offended~" he smirked, looking worriedly from side to side.
"Ih'm theh ohne ohfhendhed!" I mumbled from behind the reaper's hand,
"Too bad, little Lia~ sucks to be you" he simply said, not bothered at all.
I licked his hand, hoping to get his hand off.
It didn't work.
"Childish, little Lia. Very childish" he stated, not impressed.
"Tahkeeeer!" I whined.
"Well, look at that, seems like someone is quite eager to get rid of their relative, to come here even in this rain~. We will continue this conversation later~" he mumbled as he quickly shoved me inside a coffin.
"Takeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" I wailed. The shop is closed! I don't believe your excuses!
"Too bad I'll have to tie you up~" he muttered.
"Mhmmm! Mhm mhmmhn Mhmm!"
"Yes, just perfect~"
"Taker..." I started.
"Ducks eat roots, snails, grass, small fish and fish eggs, among other things." He interrupted, not looking up at me.
"..."
"..."
"Taker you're a wizard." I finally said, eyes wide. How did he know?
"Just a reaper, my love" he mumbled.
"A magic reaper" I continued.
"A very old reaper" he corrected.
"A magic witch that became a magic reaper" I stated.
"Not really~" he smirked.
"You're amazing" I said, awed at his magnificence.
"Just old" he whispered.
"You're a psychic!" I continued.
"Little Lia, that's enough~" he finally looked up at me.
"A psychic witch that became a reaper!" I insisted.
"Hi hi hi~" he finally giggled that creepy laugh of his.
"See! You even laugh like one!" I pointed out,
"Do you want to see what kind of magic I can do~?" He smirked.
I widened my eyes. That was new.
"You can do magic? What kind of magic, can you fly? Turn back in time? Maybe teleportation?"
"No one can turn back in... Well, your clown is a cheat. And... well, Yes... But I was actually referring to another kind of magic~... one that only happens in a bedro-" he blinked, interrupting himself, seemingly realizing something. "...you know~? I just realized this conversation is pointless. You're not going to get it." He mumbled, looking away dejectedly.
"What? Maybe I will. Try me." I said, not really understanding why I wouldn't get his magic. It's magic, what is there not to understand? I can just say: 'it's magic' and there! All solved! I don't need to understand it. That's the magic of magic!
"Nope, there's no way you will realize the true meaning of my words~... which is quite sad~ hi hi hi~" he giggled... self dejectedly. That's a new one.
"Come on Taker, tell meee... now I'm curious!" I whined.
"I was going to propose an activity that would satisfy both of us~... making the bed comfy and warm~... something we did recently~..." he said suggestively.
"...Uh... more hints?" I asked, not really getting it, or why was that involved with magic.
"I'm always up for it~" he smirked.
"Alright..." I mumbled, thinking.
Taker said that: 'Will satisfy both of us'... so it's an exchange of sorts... which the reaper likes a lot. Now, if it made the bed comfy and warm... it's probably exercise. And if Taker is always up for it, then it's probably a game.
A game that requires physical exertion... and that we have played recently... could be...
No.
Please, anything but that.
"Wait. Does it involve a lot of Dexterity, agility and endurance?" I asked, wishing the answer was a big 'no'.
"Oh~ yess~" at this the reaper smirked, pleased that I was making progress in the guessing game.
"It's twister" I stated, certain.
"..." He stood silent.
"It matches perfectly, I taught you how to play twister two days ago, it's very taxing, needing agility, endurance and dexterity in spades. It's a game, so you're always up to it, and if we lay in bed afterwards, we will warm up the bed, making it more comfy. And it's magic because it's from the future. So it's Twister, I win the game. What do I get?" I asked.
"..." He just stood there, staring at me with a blank face.
"Can I... get a kiss?" I uncertainly asked, blushing a bit.
"Awww~ of course~!" He immediately agreed, smiling brightly.
"Because... I did guess right, didn't I? I mean..." he had been making a strange face...
"Your guess was... hi hi~... spot on, here you have your prize~" he smirked, kissing my cheek softly. I blushed from head to toe, even if I somehow felt like he was lying through his teeth. Well, as long as I get my reward, I'm happy.
"Now here" I touched my lips with my finger, blushing bright red.
"Awww~ hi hi hi~ so cute~" he giggled, complying happily.
He kissed me on the lips. I had to hide my completely scarlet face on his neck afterwards. I was really happy, although a bit embarrassed.
"Hi hi hi~ what do you think if you and I went upstairs and I taught you something else we can do on our bed, besides playing twister~?" He mentioned.
I blinked.
Something else...?
He moved his eyebrows in that suggestive fashion that told me he meant naughty things.
Oh!
Oh, well...
I blushed.
"Yes. Well, I mean... I guess... I..." I looked left and right, uncomfortable. "Is... He going to be looking...?" I uncertainly asked.
"Little Lia, God is not a pervert." He deadpanned.
"...so... is he?" I asked again, wanting to make sure.
"No" he blankly stated.
"How sure are you?" I asked, not convinced by his unimpressed face.
"I'm certain" he quickly answered.
"In a scale from one to-" I attempted to ask, being quickly interrupted.
"Little Lia~...!" He whined.
The mortician, fed up with the current conversation pounced on me, kissing me to shut me up.
Alright, if he didn't like me calling his god a pervert, just had to say so, no need to resort to this.
A pair of hands sneaked around my hips, bringing me closer to the owner of those hands.
The reaper pulled away for a second.
"Just as a question, can we play twister later, right~? Talking about it kinda made me want to play again~ hi hi~" he smirked.
"Ah, sure. Do you want to play before, or after?" I asked, blushing.
"Hi hi hi~ before, it does sound like an interesting foreplay~!" He giggled.
What?
"No it doesn't" I grumbled, confused and a bit scared.
"Hi hi hi~ yes, I definitely can think of ways to turn that game into an activity fit for a bedroom~" he smirked evilly, making me worry.
"Taker...?" I uncertainly asked.
"Hi hi hi~ yes dear~?" He answered, still thinking.
"Should I be worried?" I asked, already worried.
"Not at all~!" He smiled brightly, making me even more suspicious.
I don't believe him at all.
...
...
"Maybe I should check up on- ack!" I attempted to escape, just to get pounced on.
"Hi hi hi~! You're not getting away~!" He smirked, dread entering my stomach.
"Save me!" I shouted uselessly.
But of course, Biscuit was out playing in the streets when I needed them the most.
