Chapter 28: Bad Timing
One month. She only had one month left until her pregnancy was due to end. The Captain wasn't sure whether she liked that fact or not.
Part of her couldn't wait. It had been far too long since she'd been able to see her feet, and it would have been nice to be rid of the horrendous backache she'd been getting over the past few days. However, another part of her could wait. She wasn't prepared to accept that in her month, her daughter would be gone.
"Kathryn?"
Chakotay's call as he entered their quarters made her turn her head instinctively.
"In here."
She was in the baby's bedroom, sat in the rocking chair near to the viewport. She'd found that the rocking chair was the only seat on-board that she didn't struggle to get out of anymore.
For that last couple of days, she had been on maternity leave. She hated it. While the first few days had given her a refreshing break, she'd now grown to hate every single moment. There was nothing to do. All her friends were on duty, her ship was being run without her. All she could do was simply watch the stars and try to come to terms with the fact she was never going to get to know her baby. It was horrible.
Chakotay popped his head through the doorway and spotted her. She was in the same place she'd been when he left that morning. Had she even moved?
Slowly, he walked over and knelt down in front of her, his hand meeting hers which rested on her knee.
"How are you doing?"
Her head dropped slowly, her eyes meeting his in the silence. It was a question she wasn't really sure how to answer. Part of her was fantastic, part of her was broken.
Chakotay watched as her tongue pushed against her cheek, her eyes heavy and forehead creased. He could see her time alone during the day was haunting her. Perhaps it was time to start taking on more night shifts so he could be with her during the day. It was clear she was in need of the company.
She clung to his hand. "Chakotay, am I clinging onto a fantasy?"
Her voice was noticeably weak.
"What?" he spoke softly as his brow creased slightly.
She sighed, glancing around the room she was sat in. The model of Voyager was one of the most prominent shapes she could see in the subdued lighting, something which made her heart sting. Her daughter would never see it. She'd never see anything in that room.
"Why have I insisted keeping the room like this?" she gulped, her eyes stinging, "She's never going to live here."
He sighed and placed his free hand on her stomach. "It's your way of keeping her close."
The Captain softly released a harsh breath. "What's the point?"
He was aware of a single tear rolling down her cheek as she brought her hand up and put it on top of his resting against her bump.
"Why am I doing this to myself, Chakotay?"
He didn't know how to answer so he simply leant forward and kissed the back on her hand.
Is that Daddy?
Her breath hitched. "Yes." she breathed, glancing from her bump to her lover's eyes, "Yes, that's Daddy."
Chakotay smiled softly and moved slightly to then kiss the material between their hands and the child underneath.
"Hello there, baby."
A flutter under the Commander's hand made him smile. She knew his voice.
With a soft sigh, he lifted his head and met the Captain's eye. "Come on, let's get some sleep."
She frowned delicately. "What time is it?"
He stood. "2300 hours."
Her eyes widened softly as he assisted her up. She hadn't realised it was so late.
Chakotay wrapped his arm around her waist, allowing her head to fall against his chest as they walked.
"Come on."
=/\=
The Captain felt as though she was going to go crazy. Staring at the same four walls could do that to a person. It felt as though she were under house arrest – no wonder it was an acceptable punishment for those in long-term, solitary confinement.
She caught sight of the time as she dematerialised her empty bowl. 1200 hours. It made her sigh deeply. Chakotay had been on duty since 0700 hours but it felt as though it had been much longer than that. How could he only have been gone for a mere five hours?
She held on to upper arm as she turned slowly on the spot. She needed something to do.
Her lips extended as she considered her options. She didn't want to read, she'd read enough poetry to last her a lifetime. The holodeck was out of the question – they were fully booked for the next couple of days thanks to the research being conducted by the Science Officers. Perhaps she'd go and take a look what they were up to. At least that way she could get out for a couple of hours.
The Captain left her quarters readily, unsure of where to head. The idea of checking up on the Science Department grew less appealing with every step. She wasn't sure she was up to having to deal with a group of officers' fret over an unexpected visit from their Captain.
She wandered aimlessly down four decks before deciding she'd had enough of doing nothing. While a stroll usually was more than enough to entertain her, the ache in her lower back was indicating it was time for her to find somewhere to sit down.
The next available turbolift was around the corner and in no time at all, she pressed the button and stepped inside. She sighed as the doors closed her inside. She didn't want to go back to her quarters yet.
"Bridge."
The Captain found herself smiling at the turbolift began to move upon her command. It was impossible for her to stay away. She'd never been away from Voyager's Command Centre for longer than a few days, certainly never a week.
The doors opened and presented her with the sight she'd found she'd begun to miss. Her Bridge. She took a glance around as she stepped out, soon aware no-one had noticed her presence. Commander Tuvok was immersed in what she assumed was his latest Tactical sweep, Ensign Kim was working alongside Ensign Wildman at the Science Station, and her First Officer and Helmsman were engrossed in a deep conversation about their Academy days and learning to fly a starship. It made her smile. It was hard to believe that once upon a time, the two men couldn't stand the idea of being on the same ship as each other, let alone the same room.
Lt. Paris had his back to the Commander as he spoke, his hands moving across the console as he went over his usual navigational checks.
"I was taught to pilot a vessel by Professor Kimrick at the Academy. He drilled it into me every lesson." Tom cleared his throat, "Faster than light. No left or right."
Both the Commander and the approaching Captain smiled at the impression.
"If there was one thing I knew after the initial six-week programme, it was how to fly a ship safely at warp."
The Captain found herself leaning on the railing above the Commander's head, smiling as their conversation continued. She had no intention of interrupting just to make her presence known.
"I don't remember Kimrick." the Commander confessed.
Tom smiled to himself. "He obviously wasn't there when you were then. Trust me when I say, Kimrick wasn't one you tended to forget." he slid his chair across to the other side of the helm, "Bald, voice as loud as a Terrellian mating call. Good teacher but you daren't…"
The Lieutenant spun around on his chair to meet the Commander's eye and ultimately stopped midsentence when he saw the other member of the Command Team stood on the Bridge.
"Captain."
The Commander swiftly turned his head and stood when he met her eye. He hadn't expected to see her there.
"Kathryn." his voice was soft, "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
She nodded softly and sighed. "I guess I was craving a little company." she admitted, "I know I'm not on duty but can I stay for a bit?"
His smile softened. He was surprised it had taken her this long to worm her way back onto the Bridge. He'd bet in Tom's pool it would have been two days previous – he'd lost that one.
When he didn't answer straight away, the Captain felt the need to stipulate a bit more.
"Just an hour or two?"
The Commander rolled his eyes and laughed to himself. He knew he wasn't going to win that one. He didn't really want to. The Bridge hadn't been the same without her.
Without saying a word, the Commander held his hand out and gestured to her chair. It was all she needed to see. Her grin was beaming as she made her way down to her chair and sat down. It was easily the comfiest spot on-board.
"That's better." she commented softly.
The Commander couldn't stop the follow smile as he took his own seat and looked over at her. It was a much better sight than seeing her the past few nights in that rocking chair in their quarters.
No words were spoken as he snaked his hand closer to hers. It surprised him that she immediately interlocked her fingers between his and sighed. She clearly felt more relaxed on the Bridge, or perhaps simply being in his company. He could believe either were true.
It didn't take long for the Captain to notice the slight smirk teasing the corners of his lips. He was clearly trying to stop himself from silently laughing.
Her brow creased. "What?"
He shook his head, his head falling to disguise the growing smirk. "Nothing."
The Captain's eyebrow raised pointedly. "You're smiling. Clearly you find something amusing."
His lips split, revealing his smile as his free hand tugged on her ear. She recognised the move. It was sign that he was debating how to say what he was thinking. She knew him that well.
He sighed, lifting his head to meet her eye. "There's a ship's pool betting that you'll into labour on the Bridge."
Her eyebrow remained pointed as her lips fought to hide a growing, dangerous smirk.
"Oh, really?" her head turned slowly so her eyes met Lt. Paris', "I wonder who created that one."
Tom quickly spun back to the helm. "I don't know why you're looking at me, Captain."
Her chin fell to lean against her balled-up fist. "Force of habit where betting pools and trouble are concerned, Mr Paris."
Ensign Kim found himself smirking at his friend's predicament and kept himself quiet. He wasn't stupid enough to say anything in that kind of situation.
A moment passed before the Captain turned to face the Commander. Even though she was off duty, she couldn't resist the next order.
"Report."
The Commander found himself scoffing. It was nice to hear her saying it again.
"We're still on course for the Alpha Quadrant at Warp 7." he informed her, pausing as his shoulders shrugged, "And that's it."
The Captain's eyes rolled as she again readjusted herself in her seat.
"Nothing on sensors? Nothing remotely worthwhile to investigate?"
The Commander shook his head which made her scoff in disbelief.
"Unbelievable." her hand rubbed across the top of her bump, "Why wasn't it this calm when I was actually on duty?"
The Commander could only smirk in response before she turned back to look towards the viewscreen. He was finding it strange to see her on the Bridge without her uniform on. At that moment, sat in her midnight blue lounging dress and black shawl, she looked more like his Kathryn rather than his Captain. He wasn't used to seeing her outside of their quarters.
=/\=
"Back me up here, Ensign."
Ensign Wildman found her eyes widening when the Captain called her out. She'd been listening to conversation between the senior officers with interest, the majority of the Bridge crew had, but she hadn't expected to become a part of it.
The younger woman's forehead creased. "Captain?"
The Captain sighed as she again shuffled in her seat.
"Don't you think that the blue uniforms are the most uncomfortable of all of them?"
Tom Paris shook his head. "I can't believe we're having this conversation."
Ensign Wildman sighed. "I couldn't be accurate in saying, Captain. I've only ever worn the blue. I've got no idea what the gold or red ones feel like." she looked over the other participating officers, "I can't imagine there's much difference between them all."
The Commander rolled his eyes. "There isn't. They're all the same." he turned to face the Captain yet again, "The only look different. They're all made the same."
The Captain shook her head adamantly. "No. No, they're not." she held her finger up to emphasis her point, "I remember vividly how much stiffer the blue ones were around the shoulders. I wore them for years as a science officer."
Lt. Paris, with his back to the helm and arms folded across his chest, met Ensign Kim's eye. The young Ensign was trying his best not to laugh audibly at the debate happening in front of him. It was crazy how the simplest of things could become such a topic of discussion on the Bridge of Voyager.
"Well, I don't care what you say, Captain." Tom piped up from the helm, "Nothing, and I mean nothing, was worse than the uniforms worn by Starfleet cadets."
The Commander, who was leaning his chin on top of his loosely balled-up fist, nodded.
"Now, I'll agree with that one." he confessed, "Those things were enough to make you wonder whether four years at the Academy was worth it."
A chorus of soft laughs escaped the majority of the Bridge crew but they all found themselves silently agreeing. Cadet uniforms were something none of them were sorry to leave behind when they finally earned their first commission.
Tom was the first one to speak after the laugher died down.
"Well, what about the…"
The shrill beating of the alarm from Ensign's console was enough to capture everyone's attention. All they saw in that moment were his eyes going dangerously wide.
"All hands, brace for impact!"
The Captain felt the tension in her back mount. "Harry?"
He had no time to say another word before the entire ship was violently shook with an incredible force. The power fluctuated and alert klaxons dropped the Bridge into a darker atmosphere the moment the intensity of the impact increased.
The Captain gripped tightly onto the arms of her chair, her eyes falling closed as the nauseating feeling overwhelmed her. She would have cried out like some of the junior officers had if she hadn't been concentrating on keeping her balance on the seat.
The standing crew were thrown to the floor, Lt. Paris also having fell from his chair and holding tightly onto his console. Conduits and consoles around the room blew and showered sparks everywhere, some managing to come into contact with certain crew members skin. It wasn't pleasant.
Main power died and was replaced by automatic emergency power the moment the shaking ceased. It was just in time too.
A sharp gasp escaped Lt. Paris' lips as he clambered to his feet and fell back into his chair. His hands gripped tightly to the top edge of his console as he tried to steady his spinning head.
The Captain breathed out a deep breath and gave herself a needed moment before looking over her crew. While a few were getting their bearings back and picking themselves up off the floor, the Commander included, she soon observed there were no serious injuries despite the number of ruptured conduits. She was glad.
Her eyes remained fixed on the spot in front of her.
"What the hell was that?"
Ensign Kim had to wipe away the debris from his console so he could read his monitor. The conduit above him had ruptured and caught him in the face but there was no time to worry about the minor burns along his hairline.
"Sensors are picking up subspace distortions and high energy particles directly to starboard."
Commander Chakotay frowned as he took his seat and leant over to look at the panel between their seats.
"Looks like we ran into a quantum filament."
The Captain sighed deeply, pushing herself up and standing try and relieve the ache in her lower back. It was certainly something she could have done without at that moment.
She turned to face Commander Tuvok. "Damage report."
"Hull breach, Deck 4. Repairs crews are responding. Primary life support has been lost on Decks 12 through 15 and main power is down. Switching to back up systems." his hands danced across his console, "Warp engines are offline, and impulse engines are badly damaged."
Another alert began to sound from Ensign Kim's console. It made the Captain's heart hammer in her chest. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"There's another filament moving towards us." he reported.
The Captain sighed and took her seat. "All hands, brace for impact."
It couldn't be any worst that last time, could it?
The second filament hit the ship at a devastating speed. The lighting on the Bridge dropped completely and crew members where flung all over the deck. Their moans were loud enough to be heard over the sound of the exploding consoles which also lit up the room.
The Captain ducked instinctively and held one arm up above her head when an EPS conduit above exploded. It did little good as the sparks still reached her and burnt along her forehead and hand. The pain was incredible.
The violence of the tremors seemed to ease for a split second before the intensity rose again. The extreme force of the next few shakes sent the Command Team out of their seats and directly to the floor.
The Captain yelped as she made an impact against the deck, the pain in her back becoming too much. She honestly couldn't have hit it in any worse of a way.
The ship steadied and again the crew had to allow themselves time to get their bearings back. No number of free falls they'd had along their journey had quite prepared them for that.
The Captain's breathing was hitched as her body refused to relax. She couldn't ignore the now dangerous level of pain in her lower back and hips.
She was vaguely aware of the Commander crawling over to her side and his hand coming up to hold her cheek.
"Kathryn. Are you alright?"
The shock of the contact from his skin made her breathing kick in and result in sharp, deep breaths being taken. Every breath hurt to the point her face was creasing. It was more than enough to concern her First Officer.
Her hand rose to tightly grip his shoulder. "Chakotay…" her voice was strained.
His hand fell lightly against her hip. "Lie still for a moment. Get your bearings back."
She shook her head adamantly. "No." her breathing was still deep and fast as her grip on his shoulder tightened, "No, I need to get up. Help me up."
He could see the desperation in her eye. "Okay, okay." he promised.
Without any further questioning, he did his best to assist her from the floor. It was a struggle, her bump made the task nearly impossible, and it was clear to see the pain she was in as she moved. However, the relief flooding through her the moment she got to her feet was also evident.
He held her steady for a few moments. "Is that better?"
She nodded softly, her eyes pressed closed and head bowed as her breathing began to normalise. She hadn't liked that at all.
"Commander, secondary life support systems are fluctuating and inter-ship communications are down." the other Commander reported, capturing the First Officer's attention, "We cannot reach Engineering."
Commander Chakotay's head turned towards the Operations station.
"Harry, get them back online."
"Aye, sir."
The Captain moaned to herself before stretching out her back. It was only then that she allowed herself to look over her Bridge. It was a mess. Debris was scattered all over the floor and it was clear that several crew members now were sporting some more serious injuries.
"Captain." Ensign Kim's voice captured her attention, "I've managed to re-establish inter-ship communications."
She nodded and instinctively looked up towards the ceiling.
"Bridge to Engineering. B'Elanna, report."
"Captain, we've got no power down here! We can't even get to an emergency power cell because all the doors are jammed!"
The Captain turned and stepped closer to Ensign Kim's side of the Bridge. For some reason, being in motion was partially easing the pain in her lower back.
"Harry, transfer emergency power to Engineering." she ordered, turning back around and again looking towards the ceiling, "B'Elanna, we're transferring power down now."
"Understood."
The Captain felt her eyes widen as she heard dozens of alert klaxons sound across the commlink. It was clear that there were many problems down in Engineering.
"Lieutenant! The containment field's dropped down to 20%!"
The Captain turned her head and met the Commander's eye. It was clear that her ship was in serious danger. The containment field being that low meant there was a much higher risk of a core breach.
"Nicoletti, get me an emergency power cell out of storage! Andrews, manually keep the containment field above 15%! We need to keep it stable until we hook up the power cell and restore it!"
The Captain rubbed her fingertips together nervously. "B'Elanna, report!"
"Captain, I can't talk now. Torres out."
The commlink ended abruptly to which the Captain understood. Lt. Torres was a fine engineer. She had to trust her to do her job and carry on with her own. Right now, her ship was in pieces and needed someone to start taking the lead. Only then could they begin repairing the damage.
The Captain's hand fell to her hip. "Tuvok, I want all the emergency bulkheads overridden." she ordered the Vulcan before turning to Ensign Kim, "And Harry, put all consoles on manual override."
They both acknowledged her and got on with their tasks. It was then that she turned to face the other direction. She met Tom's eye.
"Lieutenant Paris, I want you and Ensign Wildman to make your way down to Sickbay and give the Doctor a hand."
He nodded swiftly and met the Ensign's eye. She too had no problem in following her latest order but it wasn't going to be easy. Sickbay was five decks down and with the turbolifts and transporters offline, it looked as though their only option to get there was the Jeffries tubes. Great. It was difficult enough to navigate the tubes quickly in normal conditions, let alone when the ship was in pieces.
The Captain found herself roughly rubbing the back of her neck the moment the two officers left the Bridge. Her head was pounding and the tension in her body was at a dangerous level. She couldn't quite believe the change given how calm everything had been merely ten minutes beforehand.
She moaned softly as the crew worked around her. Not only was her lower body protesting at the course of events, the burns she'd sustained during the second impact were also beginning to make their presence known. It wasn't as though she'd never felt worse, but the combination of it all was making her want to scream. The only thing stopping her was the four pips she usually wore when stood on the Bridge. She was the Captain and she had to act like it, no matter what.
A familiar hand appeared on her shoulder the moment her forehead creased and eyes closed, a rough sigh forcing its way out through her nose.
"Take a break."
Immediately, the Captain shook her head and with a grunt, she opened her eyes and turned to meet his face.
"No, Chakotay. I can't."
It was now his turn to shake his head. "Kathryn." he whispered, "You shouldn't even be here. You not supposed to be duty. Give yourself a minute or two."
She sighed roughly as she turned. "Yeah, maybe you're…"
An almighty cramp harshly shot down her lower body, effectively silencing her. She winced, the new felt tension in her hips making her grasp forward and hold onto the rail.
"Kathryn?"
As quickly as it appeared, it stopped but it was still enough to take her breath away. Her hand fell to her stomach and she found her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had just happened.
"Oh, honey. This really isn't a good time…"
In an instant, the Commander's eyes widened. Without even having to say the word, he knew what she was referring to.
He came over to her side, his hand subconsciously coming to rest at the bottom on her back.
"Kathryn."
Her hands tensed as felt her body begin to cramp again, albeit much more slowly than before. Where the first had caught her by surprise, this one was building.
She moaned softly as the cramp only aggravated the throbbing in her head. Without her realising, her one hand flew from the metal rail and caught harshly on the Commander's arm. He didn't say a word. Smart.
"I could do without this right now." the Captain breathed.
The Commander nodded softly. He could understand her reasoning. Of all the possible times to go into labour, the timing couldn't have been worse.
