Hey all the people on planet earth! My Gosh, I'm so terrible sorry for the delay. I'v been quite busy with school so I had to put this story on hold for a while……I reeeeally hope you guys don't hate me all too much ^-^'

Well, in the previous chapter Hay-Lin was finally told that three members in the Akatsuki are in love with her. As an result she fainted -_-' Well anyway, now when she do know about this how will she react? After all, Deidara and Itachi are unaware that she knows about their feelings for her. What will our poor innocent (Innocent?! My ass is more innocent than her!) former police officer do? After all, she can handle criminals but can she handle three love-sick S-rank ninjas?! Oh, yeah! This chapter may contain some OC'ness (I don't think I spelled that right) but it's necessary for future chapters!

Well, there is only one thing left to say………Read God dammit! ENJOY!!!!!!


Chapter 28: This feeling can't be love!

"Konan-chan!"

"Yes, what is it Tobi?"

"Tobi thinks there is something wrong with Lin-chan!"

"Why would something be wrong with Hay-Lin?"

"Well, Lin-chan acts strange."

"How?"

"Well, first she burns the breakfast and Lin-chan has never ever done that before, then she accidently drops a heavy frying pan on Itachi-sempai and she freaks out as soon as Hidan-sempai walks into a room. Plus she avoids Deidara-sempai even though Deidara-sempai tries to talk with her. Tobi thinks something might have happen to Lin-chan!" Tobi was waving his hands frantically to prove his point.

Konan let out a heavy sigh and put down her book that she had been reading. She was sitting in the library together with Pein and Kakuzu when Tobi had suddenly burst through the door. Konan glanced at her fiancé and he looked a little annoyed when he was reminded about the burnt breakfast that he had been forced to eat this morning.

"Interesting you should say that, Tobi. I have actually thought about that too. I think that Honda-san may have done enough for this organisation and perhaps it's time for her to just…move on." Pein let out an evil chuckle but stopped when he saw the glare Konan gave him. Then she turned and gave the worried mask-wearing man a small smile.

"I think that Hay-Lin just a little unease today but I can assure you that it will pass away eventually." She said to Tobi and continued to read her book. Tobi, however, was not pleased with this simple answer.

"Why is Lin-chan unease today? Tobi want to know so that Tobi can comfort Lin-chan. Tobi is a good boy!" With that said Tobi puffed out his chest in a proud manner. Konan growled and pinched the brig of her nose. This guy was just too much to handle when you had a hang-over.

"Hay-Lin found out about Hidan's, Deidara's and Itachi's feelings yesterday and the shock have apparently not wear off yet." She said in an irritable tone.

"What feelings?" Pein's eyes narrowed while Tobi just titled his head to the side in a confused manner. Konan growled in annoyance.

"Those three loves her. Is it really that hard to see?!" she snarled at Pein and Tobi. First there was a complete silence but then the silence was broken by Tobi's loud squeal of delight.

"YEEES! TOBI KNEW IT!" Tobi started to jump around in the library while he cheered in victory. Pein was still looking at Konan with wide eyes. It was here that Kakuzu decided to step in.

"So she finally knows,heh? Well, this might turn out quite interesting after all. If you want to beat on who is going to win then just come to me. The pot is up in 900 yen. It will cost you 30 yen to participate." Kakuzu said and eyed the leader of the organisation out from the corner of his eyes. Pein seemed to finally snap out from his current shocked state. His face darkened and then he abruptly stood up.

"I will kill that lousy housekeeper for seducing members." He growled and was about to stomp out from the library when he was suddenly hit in the head from behind. He spun around and gulped when he stared into Konan's furious face.

"Oh no you won't! It's about damn time that someone else in this organisation finally settles down with someone. Since we no longer can go after the Jinchuuriki we don't exactly have any goal for the upcoming future. All that is worth fighting for now is our survival and we are better off if we just settles down somewhere in this world. You said yourself when we were mysteriously brought back to life that it was time to look for a place for us to live in peace and not fight with every single village that wants our heads. We are not as strong as we used to be and since we are wanted in almost every single village finding someone to live with is not easy. If there is now one woman that has managed to capture the hearts of three of the most emotionless and dangerous criminals in the world then I'm more than happy to help her and the person she chooses with everything that they might possible ask me to help them with!" Konan in hailed sharply and gave Pein one hell of a death glare.

"If you even touch a single hair on that poor woman's head then I swear that it will be no sex for a year!" With that said Konan grabbed her book and stomped out from the room, leaving two shocked members and one terrified leader. When the door to the library shut close Tobi turned to look at the paled Leader.

"Leader-sama, what's sex?" he asked with a voice filled with innocent. Pein visibly froze and turned his head stiffly to glance at Kakuzu. Kakuzu immediately got up from the couch and quikly walked out from the room.

"This is you're mess so don't involve me in it." he muttered, mentally thanking himself for wearing a mask so that his flushed cheeks was covered. The door shut close one more time and now there was just a flushed leader and a confused member left. With a heavy sigh Pein turned around to face Tobi.

"Well Tobi, to put it in simple words. Sex is…."

(Sorry folks, but the author of this story decided to skip the rest of the conversation because of its mature content and the risk that virgin eyes may become damaged)


The wind made my hair blow in my face. I was currently lying on the ground while staring with a blank face up on the blue sky. On the outside it almost looked like I had dropped dead but if you looked on the inside you could easily see that I was fully alive. My brain was literary on fire as well as my heart had frozen to ice.

"……………………………"

I blinked and turn my head to the side and looked at the green grass that was swaying in the wind. I slowly raised my hand and picked one straw and looked at it more closely. I blinked one more time when I saw that a tiny red spider was on it. This little fellow is lucky. It didn't have to think about such things as love. The only thing that matters when it comes to love for this one is just to find a suitable mate and get some babies that can carry on you're genes. That's not so easy if you put yourself in my position.

I had been ponder and ponder and ponder but still I couldn't come up with even one good reason to what the hell those three saw in me that would make them fall in love with me. To make everything worse, I had been acting way suspicious this whole morning. I had dropped a frying-pan on Itachi's foot then I had freaked out and cursed at Hidan when he walked into the dining hall this morning and I had also been avoiding Deidara even if he multiple times had tried to talk with me. I let out a heavy sigh.

Great just great! How will I get out of this mess now? The almighty Lord must have misunderstood me because when I talked about meeting the man of my dreams I was not talking about three criminals! Especially not a cursing priest, a terrorist-bomber and an emotionless emo!

"What am I supposed to do now?" I asked the spider and waited for it to respond. Surprisingly it didn't say one word at all. Well, what would I have expect? A talking spider? Duh, as if!

I picked up the little fellow and watched how it climbed around on my hand. Lucky little thing…This one never had to worry about such things as love. I wish I was a spider. Although it would probably suck to just walk around all day and spin a web to catch a yummy fly or something else that you could eat. Life truly sucks!!!

My thought drifted of when I thought back at the night at the river. When Hidan had been kissing my neck and left shoulder. I shivered when I recalled the feeling I had had. I had never felt anything like that ever before in my whole life. What was this feeling I had in my chest? It felt like a lump or something. It was painful yet not an unpleasant feeling. It felt nice but at the same time confusing. Gaaah! I'm going crazy! What the hell is this feeling?!

Then suddenly I felt a sting in my hand and I looked down. The spider was biting my index finger! With a snarl I squashed the lousy fucking insect and blow the dead sucker off my hand. I looked at the bite and saw that it was starting to turn slightly red. Great, now it will probably leave an itchy spot or something. It was not the first time I had been bitten by a spider so therefore I was not worried. The only thing that used to happen was that the bite itched for a couple of days and it would feel a little uncomfortable around the biting area. Well, anyway enough talk about spider bites. I have a much serious problem. A love problem or more exactly love problems! What should I do?

Well, if we look at it this way. I have three guys that are interested in me. First up is Deidara. He is self-centred, arrogant and perverted but he is funny, a great kisser and loves art. Then we have Itachi. He is emotionless, emo and scary but he is really good looking, lovingly when he put that side on and he will most likely be faithful towards his woman. And finally we have Hidan. He is foulmouthed, a crazy masochist and loves blood but he is kind, has beautiful eyes and he would probably become a great dad since he is very soft under that macho facade ……With "becoming a great dad" I didn't mean that he would be the one that I have kids with, just so you know!

If thinking about carrying Hidan's kids hadn't been bad enough but now my face turned completely red out of embarrassment. I did not just thinking about having Hidan's kids just now, was I?! Ehahahaha, that's just ridiculous! Me being pregnant with Hidan's kids…Great, now I will not be able to look Hidan in the face without blushing like a traffic light! By the way, is it just me or has the temperature suddenly increased out here?

I waved my hand in front of my face in a desperate attempt to cool myself down. It felt like my whole body was on fire. Had the atmosphere suddenly turn hot in less than a couple of minuets?!

I groaned and clutched my now aching head. I didn't feel well at all but I had been feeling just fine a couple of minuets ago. What could have caused me to feel like shit now? My eyes widen as I suddenly remembered the spider. I looked down at my finger and saw to my horror that the bite had gotten blue!

"Shit!" I hissed and got up quickly only to fall back on my butt again. Man, I'm feeling dizzy and I don't think I like it! With a painful groan I managed to stand up and I turned around and started to shakily walk back to the mansion. Hopefully, that spider hadn't been all too poisonous. I almost laughed at my fortune.

Great, this is just truly fucking great. First I have love problems and then I get bitten by a lousy spider! Can life be anymore greater than this?! Honestly, life truly sucks!! Well, if you look on this from the bright side, if I died I wouldn't have to face Hidan, Itachi and Deidara again. Maybe I should just thank the spider…Wait, I killed it. Oh, well, I guess that the path of death is something we all have to walk one day. I just didn't want to walk it right now.

I was sweating and panting and my whole body was aching when I finally were able to open the big door to the mansion. With stumbling steps I walked to the kitchen were I had last seen Sasori. Since he was an expert on poisons I figured that he was the one I should talk to. I stumbled into the kitchen and groaned when I saw that Sasori no longer were there. Instead I spotted every member except Konan, Sasori and Pein. The members looked up and smiled at me. Tobi however skipped over to me and was now standing really closely in front of me.

"Hey, Lin-chan! Tobi was just talking about you. Tobi was just going to look for you but since you're here now Tobi doesn't have to!" The masked man let out a cheerful laugh and playfully dunked me in the back. I stumbled forward and crashed into Kakuzu who grabbed me before I collided with the table. He glanced down at me and furrowed his brows when he saw my pale face.

"Is everything alright, Hay-Lin? You don't look so good." He asked me. This made the others look closer at my face and when I saw three special faces my whole face turned completely red and I broke free from Kakuzu and backed away. I tried to smile at them and waved my hand in front of my face.

"Everything is j-just perfect. Um…have y-you've seen Sasori? I-I really n-need to speak with him." I said and tried to steady my voice as I felt how my body was slowly starting to give up. Deidara narrowed his eye and walked over to me.

"Are you sure you're okay,un?" he asked me. I swore mentally as I felt how my mind started to dim. The pain and the dizziness suddenly disappeared and instead I started to feel rather…funny…

I started to giggle and then before I could stop myself I started to laugh and I don't mean a small laugh. Oh no, it sounded like I had lost my fucking mind! The members eyed me with confused and surprised faces and when I fell to the floor while clutching my aching stomach, Zetsu walked over to me and kneeled beside me.

"What have happened? Are you drunk?" he asked me. I looked up and beamed at him.

"Nope, I don't think schoo." I slurred and giggled again. I tried to stand up but my balance was not what it had been so instead I managed to land in the arms of Hidan. I looked up and smiled brightly at him. Hidan looked just as confused as the others but he blushed when I caressed his cheek.

"Aw, ain't you a sweetheart." I said and giggled again. I turned around and smiled at Deidara's and Itachi's dark expressions. I let out a small laugh and walked over to Tobi and pulled him in for a hug.

"L-Lin-chan?" he asked me hesitantly. I let go of him and patted his head while I turned around and laughed at the others shocked expression. I bend over to Tobi and whispered loud enough so that everyone could hear it.

"T-Tobi-kun. Don't tell anyone but Blondie, the swearing priest and the clan slayer has romantic feelings towards poor ol' me." I said and shook my head before continuing." And do y-you know what…t-that's just so friggin' hilarious!" I said and to prove my point I laughed loudly and dunked Tobi hard in the back so that he stumbled forward.

At the same time Itachi and Deidara had visibly froze in their place and now they were starring at me with slightly open mouth. Even Itachi looked like he just had swallowed his tongue.

"Y-You knew?" he then managed to blurt out. Kisame, Zetsu and Kakuzu glanced at each other and started to slowly back out from the kitchen. They felt like this was starting to get a little to personal for them. But I quickly grabbed them and smiled at them.

"W-Where are you guys g-going? T-This party has j-just started!" I said and ignored their uneased expressions and turned to look at Itachi and Deidara.

"Y-Yep…I may be a t-total bitch sometimes but I ain't b-blind you know." I said and puffed out my chest in a proud manner. The other sweat dropped when they heard this. I groaned when pain once again started to fill my body. I shook my head to clear my mind and was not aware of that Zetsu had grabbed my hand were the spider had bitten me.

"Hay-Lin, what is this?" Zetsu asked me. I titled my head to the side and clicked my tongue as I watched the now green bite. Hadn't that thing been blue just a minuet ago? Hmmm…that sure is strange.

"You k-know what? I-I don't exactly know…You sheee…It was t-this red mother fucking s-spider and that little f-fucker bit me." I slurred and tried to clear my vision. Everything had started to spin and I wasn't sure if I liked this at all. Zetsu looked closer at the bite and then he turned to look at Tobi.

"Tobi call Sasori. This idiot has been bitten by a poisonous spider." He ordered Tobi who quickly grabbed the phone and dialled the number to Sasori's room. I broke free from Zetsu and took a couple of shaky steps towards Tobi. Before anyone could stop me I grabbed the phone from Tobi and started to talk in it while the head was up side down.

"Oi, Sasori. You better get y-you're wooden a-ass d-down h-here right now because I-I'm not f-feeling that w-well. See ya later puppet-master!" With that I gave the phone back to Tobi and was about to sit down.

This however became too much for my weakened body to handle so I fell forward. Thanks to Itachi's excellent reflexes I avoided to collide painfully with the floor. Itachi looked down at me and furrowed his brows when he saw that I was panting, sweating and that I was pale.

"Hay-Lin are you alright?" he asked me with a concerned voice. His voice however was blurry and I moaned when my mind suddenly dimmed. It felt like I was slipping away into darkness. Was this the end? I vaguely heard Itachi when he called my name or Tobi's worried voice as he spoke through the inter-come system with Sasori.

I blinked when I felt a cold hand press against my forehead and looked up and stared into Itachi's black eyes. I smiled softly at him and was about to thank him but my voice was nowhere to be found. My eyes felt heavy and before I closed them I saw how Sasori along with Konan rushed into the kitchen. Loved, poisoned and telling a whole bunch of criminals that three of them loves me……Well, this day surely sucks!!


I was walking in complete darkness until I finally saw a light a bit in head of me. I quicken my steps and saw to my great surprise that I was standing in my old apartment in New York. What made me drop my jaw in complete shock was that I saw myself standing in front of me with a irritated expression on my face. The other me was dressed in my old police-uniform and had its hair in that usual high pony-tail. I raised an eyebrow at the other me and growled when I realised that this was the smarter part of my brain. The smarter part of my brain let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

"I can't believe you're so stupid that you pick up a poisonous spider and let it walk around freely in you're hand!" she said. I clutched my head and groaned.

"Can you please speak a little lower? My head feels like it going to crack into pieces."

"Blame yourself for being so foolish. Anyway, what's up? Have you been able to figure it out yet?"

"If you're talking about three criminals certain feelings towards me then hell yes."

"Yeah that too but I was talking about something else…"

"Are you saying that there is something more? Oh God, please tell me this is some kind of a sick joke! Don't tell me that Tobi are having a secret crush on me too!?"

"Nope, Pein does.." My face turned green at the thought and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

"………….I think I need to throw up…."

"Just messing with you! But honestly, No, there are no one more than those three that has romantic feelings towards you. I'm talking about your own feelings. Do you love anyone of those three?"

"Are we going to talk about this? Because if we are then I'm sooo out off here!"

"Just to remind you, you can't get out until I'm done with you. So you better get talking some emotions now if you want to wake up soon."

"I refuse!"

"Talk!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"YES!!"

"NO!!"

"If you don't talk I will make you watch all the embarrassing memories from you're childhood, including the time when you were attacked with kisses by Aunt Margaret at one of her annual Family reunion parties!" I twitched when I recalled the dreadful family reunions parties my love-kissing aunt used to have every year during the winter-holidays.

"…….Fine, I will talk, you filthy inner-bitch!"

"Good to hear that we get along so well. Now, I have brought some tissues, ice-cream and mushy music. Everything is perfect for a sweet love-talk among two females. I'm ready!" the items that she had talked about suddenly appeared in front of us and I sweat dropped. The smart part of my brain aka Smart Hay-Lin grabbed a box with chocolate ice-cream and started to dig in. I sighed and sat down on the floor and the smart Hay-Lin followed suit. Crappy sad love music started to play and I sighed again.

"You're scary, you know that?…Anyway about my feelings for those three I'm not exactly sure about who I think I have the most feelings for. All three of them are sweet and caring, when they try."

"The perfect abilities for a perfect father to you're kids in the future."

"Don't even say another word about kids! Back to the subject, I'm not sure what to do or how to feel. It's like everything inside of me is a big mess. I don't think I can handle this!" Smart Hay-Lin just sniffed and grabbed a tissue and blow her nose. My left eye twitched when I saw her reach out to grab another tissue.

"I-I c-can't b-believe that w-we finally a-after a-all this t-time are b-being loved by t-the opposite sex. T-This is a bloody m-miracle!" she wailed before she buried her face in the tear drenched tissue. I sweat dropped in a very anime like style and sighed heavily. That's it, I had had enough! By concentrating hard enough I managed to spot a door, the door to my consciousness. Thank you Lord for that! I'm sooo out of here! Besides………I'm hungry!


I slowly open my eyes and had to fight back the urge to do flip flops by the thought that I had been able to get out from my creepy inner. When my eyes had adjusted themselves to the light I saw that I was lying in my room. I smiled when I saw how Sasori was currently trying to get all the poison out from the bite on my finger. He looked up and smiled at me when he saw that I had awaken.

"Great to have you back. Thankfully the poison didn't manage to spread too much so you will be better after you've have had some rest." he said and prepares a shoot with antidote that he then injected in my armpit.

"This antidote affects you're emotions a little so you might feel a little more sensitive for a while and you also need to rest for a couple of hours so that the antidote takes effect." He explained for me.

"I'll take a mental note on that. By the way, have you've seen the others?" I asked him. Sasori tossed the shoot in the garbage and then helped me get up from my bed.

"They are in the living room, waiting for you to recover. You scared Tobi and Itachi quite bad when you collapsed like that." he said. I stopped dead in my tracks when I remembered the little incident in the kitchen earlier and the fact that I had told everyone that I had three admires. I growled loudly and smacked myself painfully on the forehead and made Sasori look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you okay?" he asked me a little uncertain when he saw that a dark aura was radiating from me. I growled again and glared at him.

"No, I'm not okay! I'm tired of having those three treating me like something that you can play around with! I'm tired to know that those three have some strange and absolutely hilarious emotion towards me!" I snarled and my left eye started to twitch dangerously. Somehow I was so damn pissed off on three special men at the time that smoke started to come out from my ears. Sasori took a cautious step backwards.

"Are you talking about the brat, Hidan and Itachi?" he asked me hesitantly and seemed shrink a little when he saw the death glare I gave him.

"Do you know about it too? That those three loves me!? And you have never told me about it!?!" I asked him in a cold tone and when I saw that he slowly nodded his head I let out a snarl and tried to get up from my bed but noticed that my whole body wouldn't budge an inch. Sasori noticed my devastated expression and chuckled.

"You're body are temporarily paralyzed because of the poison but it will wear off in a couple of minuets. Until then I suggest you get some rest." Sasori put all his medical things in a bag and then he stood up and walked to the door. He then stopped and looked back at me.

"I almost forgot, is it okay if I send in Konan? She wanted to talk with you about something important." He asked. I nodded tiredly in reply and Sasori walked out from my room. It only took seconds before Konan walked into my room and closed the door behind her. Konan turned around and spotted me, lying on my bed with a pouty face.

"Hey." Konan said and smiled at me which I returned.

"Hey yourself. What brings you here?" I asked her and watched when she sat down on my bed. She then glanced hesitantly at me and sighed.

"I just want to know if you're okay. Before the spider bite you've been acting quite strange today and Tobi was starting to get worried." She said in a soft tone. I averted my gaze and sighed heavily.

"I don't know. It just that this whole "Being loved by not one but three men" stuff kind off freaks me out. I'm not used with such mushy things." I said and sighed again. Konan glanced at me and then she looked at the white painted wall.

"You know, before me and Pein became engaged I used to be unsure about love too." Konan stopped talking for a moment. I looked at her with interest and Konan decided to continue.

"You and I are quite similar you know. I found out first that Pein loved me but I wasn't sure if I loved him. Pein and I have been friends as long as I can remember and therefore the thought of having a romantic relationship with him scared me more than you can ever know. I freaked out as soon as he stepped inside the same room I was in or if he even looked at me. Then I started to think back on the time we had spent together and then it suddenly hit me. Every time I was close to Pein or talked with him or even looked at him I had had this bubbling feeling in my stomach. That was when I realised that I loved him just as much as he loved me. After that I couldn't even imagine a future without him by my side." Konan stopped talking and in hailed before she turned and looked at me. Her eyes were shimmering with love towards her fiancé and I couldn't help but smile at her happiness. Even though I couldn't think about something that was "lovable" about Pein…

"Love isn't something that you should fear Hay-Lin. Instead embrace it and let it sweep you away. I promise you will not regret it. I haven't and look at me now!" Konan beamed at me and shoved me the dazzling engagement ring. I looked at the ring for a long time before I averted my gaze and closed my eyes.

What do I feel? I thought back at the time I had spent with the Akatsuki. The first time I had meet Hidan and Deidara. How I shoot Deidara in the hand and how Hidan had in hailed my scent before I shoot him three times. The first time I meet Itachi and how I first thought how scary he was. How I then realised that he was not scary, he was just unsure on how to show his emotions. Even though Itachi was a great guy I was almost certain that I didn't have any romantic feeling towards him. He deserved someone that could teach him how to express himself and how to act in front of others.

Deidara was such a funny guy and I was really fond of him. He made me laugh and I loved to spend time with him yet I don't think that I love him. As I said, he's a great guy but he deserves someone that loves the sky as much as he does. I couldn't give him what he wanted since I was still so inexperienced about love.

Hidan…he was such a sweet guy even if he loved blood. I liked him a lot. He was sweet when he put that side on. He was caring and even though he tried to play all mucho macho I know that he deep inside had a soft spot. But Hidan needed someone that taught him manners and someone that could live with his constant swearing and rituals. Someone like…………………I don't know…Someone like another jashinist, perhaps?

GAAAAAHHH!! This is no good at all. Don't these three morons understand that I'm not the right girl for the job?! I need to stop this madness at once! But how?! What should I do to make them stop love me? Think, Hay-Lin Honda. Use that brain of yours and come up with something!!

Konan eyed me with a raised eyebrow as she watched how my closed left eye twitched and how I growled and cursed quietly.

"Um…please tell me if I'm wrong but Hay-Lin it looks like you're scared of the thought of being loved." Konan stopped and looked at me. She failed to notice that by hearing that I had completely turned into stone. Konan let out a loud laugh and scratched her cheek innocently.

"Well, as that would be true!" she said and let out another loud laugh. Suddenly she then noticed my horrified expression and she blinked in surprise.

"................Hay-Lin…are you afraid off the bare thought off being loved by a man?!" she asked me with a dead like tone. I started to sweat and my whole body started to twitch. Aw, shit!! BULL'S EYE!!!! Konan sweat dropped when she saw my panicked face.

"You've got to be kidding me? How the hell can you be afraid of love?" she asked me. My left eye twitched and I refused to look at her.

Great, here I have been trying for ages in order to forget this crap and now I'm forced to tell her the real truth…She's gonna kill me for not telling her this before…Aw, fuck! Can life suck anymore?!?! I let out a heavy sigh and shrugged my shoulders.

"It's a long story." I mumbled, ashamed of myself as memories from a certain moment that had happened 3 years ago. Konan breathed in and then she patted my shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I've got time." she said gently and smiled softly. I lowered my gaze and sighed heavily. I guess it's time I finally get this out off my chest, after all, I have been denying and refusing to think about this for 3 years now.

"It happened 3 years ago…I fell in love with a man named Sam." I said and noticed that Konan narrowed her eyes by hearing this.

"I thought you said that you've never had been in a relationship with anyone." She said. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, I guess you can say that I had never been in a relationship that I want to remember. You see, my relationship with Sam was kinda special. We…he…stopped loving me after a time." I stopped and my face hardened. Konan noticed the change in my behaviour and laid her hand over mine.

"What happened?" she asked me softly. The pain that I had felt that day 3 years ago came back and I gasped when I felt it smash my heart into tiny pieces. Damn him…Damn him to hell!

"He left me with a broken heart." I said with a cold voice. Konan lower her gaze and furrowed her brows. I knew that I needed to tell her the full story in order to make her understand just how much influence this had had on my life afterwards.

"You see, when I worked as a police officer in my world I meet Sam. He was a criminal and my orders were to bring him in for interrogation on a murder on a teenaged girl. The arrest went easily but you can just imagine my surprise when this guy suddenly starts to flirt with me on the way back to the police station. I was sure that he just wanted to seduce me in order to get a chance to knock me out cold and run away so I ignored him. After the interrogation he was released by lack of evidence in the case. The guy walked right to my office and started to sweet talk with me. Stupid as I was I was flattered by his affection and said yes when he asked me out on a date. He was so handsome and boy, did he have a nice sense of humour. He took me out on fancy restaurants and movies. He was not just some punk from the street. His family was very rich and well-known so he was different from any other suspects that I had ever handled in my short carrier as a police. After just a couple of months I was head over heels in love with the guy and he gave me promises that a girl like me would only dream about. But sadly I was too blind to realise his true intentions." My face darkened and I clenched my fist.

"After a while he proposed to me. He showed me a giant diamond ring and said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and have a bunch of kids. I was so happy and so in love that I said yes the moment he stopped talking. Tch, such sweet mushy shit…and to believe that I never once became suspicious or started to doubt his love for me when he refused to kiss me during the time we spend together. He used to say that he came from a very religious family and therefore things as kisses and sex where forbidden before the marriage. I was so fucking stupid that I actually believed that bullcrap."I growled at the last part.

"That asshole was plotting behind my back. On the wedding-day I was brought to the church by his private chauffeur. When we arrived there where no one there and when I asked the chauffeur if this was the real place then he just answered me that his master had told him to drive me there. Since I trusted Sam I sat down on the stair that lead up to the church and there I waited for three friggin' hours before I gave up. I walked back to our shared apartment and saw that my boss had tried to reach me on my cell-phone. I was quite upset and didn't want to call him so instead I grabbed a big box with chocolate ice-cream and put on the TV. I accidently put on the news and there was big report about a bank robbery that had taken place in my district. You can just imagine my surprise when the reporter said that one of the robbers had been identified and that his name was Sam Parker, my fiancé." I gritted my teeth. The memories from that day and the pain that I had felt started to once again fill my aching chest. Konan watched me with sympathy visible in her eyes and she tightened her grasp around my hand.

"I went to the police station as fast as I could. They had been able to arrest Sam before he could escape and when I saw him sit there in the interrogation room I was cold as ice. When my boss told me that Sam had been using me in order to be able to plan the robbery without risking being caught by the police or having any difficulties with getting the map over the bank it felt like someone had ripped my still beating heart right out of my chest. I was the perfect tool for him and he could ask me about my work, get tons of information about the police system and since we were a couple it didn't sound suspicious either. He was just curious about his fiancées work so why in the world would anyone suspect him when he asked me about the bank and the police station?! I broke down when I heard this and rushed into the interrogation room and started to beat the living daylight out off him. I cried like I had ever cried before and I screamed and asked him why he had done such a thing. That son of a bitch just sneered at me and said that he would rather die than marry a female officer. Was I really that stupid to actually believe that he would ever marry such an ugly and pain in the ass woman as myself? That day I learn a very hard lesson…Never ever fall in love with a criminal." My voice was cold as ice as I finished my story and my usually green eyes were dark by the massive anger I felt when I thought about Sam.

Konan had been quiet the whole time but now she looked sternly at me.

"Hay-Lin I know that you've must have been suffering a lot after this but don't tell me that you really think that something like that will happened again?" she asked me with a stern voice. I looked up and meet her gaze. Something filled me that I hadn't felt for a long time…something that had hunted me for three years…agony. My heart felt like it was lit on fire and the pain doubled, making every heart beat felt like someone stabbed me right trough my chest.

"What am I supposed to do then? I already had my heart broken by a criminal and I don't plan on getting it stomped on by another. I'm not making the same mistake twice!" To my great anger and shock, tears slowly made their way down my face and I furiously dried my eyes with my hand.

"I-I can't thrust them…H-How many lives have they not taken before I came?! How many women haven't they slept with before they even meet me? How can I be sure that they aren't pretending to love me just so that can get a chance to sleep with the housekeeper?! How the hell will I be able to thrust one off them with my heart?! All three off them have already abandoned me once so how can I be sure that it won't happened again?!" I stopped my ranting. I panted while I waited on Konan's response. When no one came I averted my gaze and glared at the wall. It felt like my heart would burst any minuet when the painful memories off Sam passed before my eyes. My vision blurred when new tears filled them.

No, I was not going to cry! I had only cried once over that son of a bitch and I will not allow myself to cry over him a second time! My mentally ranting was interrupted by Konan's firm yet gentle voice.

"The one you decide to give you're heart to will not, I repeat, NOT break you're heart. I don't know how it is back in you're world but here in this world we are taking relationships very serious. Even though the things you've said earlier is true; that the three of them have taken countless of lives and that they have slept with woman before, doesn't make them less worthy of you're love. You are able to give one of them a new start in life Hay-Lin. Akatsuki's earlier goals are no longer possible so now we are free to do as we please. Every member decided to stay in the organisation after we were mysteriously brought back to life. We have nothing more to achieve more than doing various illegal S-rank assassinations and stuff. Therefore I think you should move on with you're life and start letting the past flow away." Konan held my hand in a firm grip as she saw the hurt look in my eyes,

Should I really try to give love a second chance? But what if I fail again as I did with Sam? What of I'm not good enough? Konan must be able to read minds because as if she could here my thought she smiled softly at me.

"You will not fail and you are defiantly more than good enough for them. I will be there and support you with all my strength. What worries me though is that you've seem to not have gotten over Sam. I think it's time you need to let go off that emotion barrier that push back you're tears and let them flow out." Konan gaze soften when she saw my shocked face expression.

How could she know all this? Anyway, I won't cry!......Aw, God damn it! Tears stop coming! That's an order, you hear?! Mother fucking piece of shit. I TOLD YOU TO STOP COMING AND BLOCKING MY VIEW! I will not cry for Sam a second time…I-I just…can't……………………………Fuck!

"Let it go Honda. Sometimes it's better to just let it go…"

"…………………"

FUCK IT ALL TO HELL!!!

With a cry that was filled with agony and despair I throw my arms around Konan's neck and cried with my heart content into her shoulder. Every single hurtful emotion that was related with Sam was shown by heavy tears that wet Konan's t-shirt. I felt how Konan patted my head and hugged me back while hushing and whispering comforting words into my ear. My heart felt once again like it had been ripped out and stomped on it but at the same time a relived feeling slowly spread through my body, making me relax a little as my whole body was shaking because of the powerful sobs. Somewhere in the dark I could see a light and that made me realise that it was my freedom. That was my salvation from heartache and despair.

Maybe…just maybe…can I give the "Falling in love with a criminal" a second chance…


ME: Well well……Now you readers know why Hay-Lin have been so against the thought of being loved by criminals. I'm gonna kill that Sammy boy for making my poor Hay-Lin cry! *Cracks knuckles and flames of evil appears behind me*

HAY-LIN: *Sweat drops* You've already beaten Sam into a bloody pulp six times.

ME: You have no right to just walk in here while I'm trying to write a story since all of the previews of all the oncoming chapters are still in my hand! You may find out who you will end up with!

HAY-LIN: *Gasp* Have you finally decided?!

ME: *Grins widely* Yep, it's finally decided who will win Hay-Lin's innocent (?) heart. I'm also working on a veeeeery *coughcough* interesting chapter for the future. *Face turns completely red*

HAY-LIN: What kind of perverted thought did just cross you're mind? You're not planning on writing a Lemon are you?

ME: *Coughs into my hand and refuse to look at Hay-Lin* No commentary on that one

HAY-LIN: *Drops jaw and eyes bulge out* YOU ARE!?!?! THAT'S IT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU PERVERT!!!

ME: Well, while I try and get away from Hay-Lin, why don't you readers do what I love and worship you for? Please………REVIEW!!!!!!!!! *Spins around and runs away for dear life with Hay-Lin hot on my tail*

Next time on Love is just a lie: Morning chaos! Hay-Lin Honda unleashed!