Happy Thursday out there. I got this chapter finished up last night and I'm not one to keep all my chapters (mostly because I'll get confused as to what I've posted, etc.) so I'm just going to go ahead and post it. If all goes the way I want you'll get one more by the end of the weekend.
I know the story has slowed down a bit but I feel like this part of the story is somewhat important and our couple needs to take their time. Don't hate me because they aren't jumping into bed right away.
Also, I guess the website I was talking about before didn't go through because it was a web address. The website is Lainey Gossip.
Hope you everyone ends their week on a positive note and enjoys the weekend!
Chapter 28
Edward
After Bella, LJ and I were all settled at my mom's house the day started to really drag by. I want to say that it went so by so slowly because we were dog-tired from an early morning and a long flight but let's get real; I was counting the minutes until bedtime.
We spent the day catching up with my mom, which then lead to her telling horribly embarrassing stories about me as a child to Bella and Bella soaking it all up. Finally, I had enough and was sure I was beet red from embarrassment plus, LJ was fading quickly so I decided to put him down for a nap.
Once we got upstairs and LJ had on a fresh diaper and onesie I decided to have a little guy time.
"Hey big guy, are you ready to take a little rest? You've had such a long day and have really been a champ, I'm so proud of you." LJ already had his head down on my shoulder as I sat down in the rocking chair so I decided to sing to him a bit. After about five minutes I heard the tell tell sign that sleep was fast approaching: a deep breath and a bit of a nuzzle into my neck.
"Oh baby boy, you have no idea how many people in this world love you and only want the best things for you. I know you are going to grow up to be big and strong just like your father but you have to remember that not matter how big you get you are still your mama's baby boy. Just look at me, I lay eyes on my mom and act like I'm young all over again. And you have the best mama. I know she's going to do everything in her power to make sure you are always happy and taken care of….and so will I. I am so lucky that you and your mama are in my life."
LJ and I rocked a bit longer just to make sure he was good an asleep and then I laid him down in the pack 'n' play and just watched him for a few moments. All I could think at that moment is what a blessing this little boy was to all of our lives. Carrying on James in physical form and reminding us how precious life is.
Once I got back down stairs Bella and my mother had moved on to talking all about LJ and his growth and all the things Bella has been worried about. I forget sometimes that Bella doesn't have a mom to go to and if she's comfortable talking with my mom about things then I welcome it.
A couple hours later LJ woke up but was clearly still tired and cranky so we all decided that it would be an early dinner and then to bed for everyone. We decided pizza was the best choice and had it delivered. Fifteen minutes after it arrived we were finished and started heading to bed. I kissed my mother goodnight, grabbed LJ to carry him upstairs and held my hand out for Bella to hold…which she did. It was one of the best feelings I've had.
Bella
Finally…bedtime. And although all I could think about earlier was Edward being wrapped around me, right now all I can think about is a nice, soft bed and getting a good 8 hours of sleep. And I prayed that my son felt the same way.
Once we made it to the top of the stairs I took LJ from Edward and went to put him to bed. I wanted to take a little extra time with him tonight since we were in a new place and he wasn't in his crib.
LJ was so tired and ready for bed. I changed him and sat down in the rocking chair and he immediately began shutting his eyes. Poor little guy, he was fighting so hard to stay awake but I knew it was a losing battle. After singing "Jesus Loves Me" and telling LJ everyone that loves him I put him in the pack 'n' play and turned off the light. As I walked out of the room I pulled the door mostly closed in hopes that if he woke up in the morning he'd hear the quiet house and try to go back to sleep.
I made my way to Edward's bedroom but before I walked inside I took a deep breath and said to myself, "don't be a baby, Bella. This isn't your first time at the rodeo….you probably won't even do anything. Just go in there, get ready for bed and go to sleep." So that's what I tried to do.
Once I went through my bedtime routine in the adjoining bathroom, I made my way back to into the bedroom and looked at Edward, who was reading a magazine while leaning against the headboard. I guess I could've just walked over to the bed and gotten in but that felt odd. Plus, I really didn't know what to say so I just stood there and waited for him to say something.
Finally he looked up. "Hi, baby. Did he get to bed ok?"
"Yeah. He's exhausted and I think he was mostly asleep before I walked out of the room."
Edward must've realized my apprehension and went to pull back the covers on the bed. "Come on, sweetheart. You were tired this morning when we were still in Nashville so I know you must be exhausted now."
Finally my legs regained mobility and I made my way over to the bed. After lying down and getting comfortable I turned towards Edward and watched as he put the magazine on the bedside table and turned out the light. His pajamas consisted of shorts and a t-shirt but even he made that look good. He was such a beautiful man. How this guy didn't have a serious girlfriend I'll never know…every woman deserves a man like Edward in her life. I was lucky enough to have two wonderful men in my life.
That thought took me in another direction entirely and Edward must've picked up on my mood swing.
"Bella? You ok?"
"Yeah, just thinking…you know."
"Do you want me to move to another room? I can if you want. I don't want to rush you into anything you aren't comfortable with."
"No. I was just thinking how lucky I am that I've had two wonderful men to love me in this lifetime. I miss James and I wish he had been able to see LJ but God has a plan for us all and I know this is my path to take. You are my future." And then I decided to dump the cowardice and make a move so I leaned it, wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and showed him just how comfortable I was.
All of a sudden I went from dog-tired to wide-awake. Edward was very responsive and moved closer to me all while continuing to kiss me. I felt like I couldn't get enough of him, I needed to just be closer and closer. Finally I lifted my leg, like a hussy, and threw it over his hip and that brought him to a screeching halt and he tried to move away a bit.
"I'm so sorry. You must think I'm….fresh or a fast mover. I'm not, I promise. I've never done that before. I'm so sorry." I said and ducked my head into his chest so I could keep what little dignity I had left.
"Baby, no…that's not why I stopped." I refused to look up but after a few seconds I felt Edward's finger under my chin and he was pulling my head up. "Bella, I don't want you to ever be sorry for showing me how you feel. You have no idea how refreshing it is to see you showing me with your body. I thought I was having some type of hormonal crisis because every time I'm around you I have to talk myself down and refrain from ravishing you. I love you…so very much. And when the time is right I know that being with you will be wonderful. But that all being said I need to know that you are ready." I tried to talk but Edward put a finger up to my lips and continued. "Baby, I know that you think you're ready and you want to be ready but let's go slow. It would absolutely break my heart if were with me and then had regrets afterwards. So…why did I stop you? Two reasons: one, I want you to know that I can wait and I want to in order for you to know you're ready and two, I was really about to embarrass myself with you and I didn't want to do that."
"Oh."
"Yeah….oh. You see, you are gorgeous and right now you are making a lot of my boyhood fantasies come true and I really don't want to react like a boy."
I giggled a little bit and got a light pinch in return. With that I knew that Edward and I were fine and as I thought about all that he said I agreed. I'm close to ready but not there quite yet and I definitely want no regrets.
After each of us taking a deep breath I returned to snuggling up with Edward and put my head on his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair. Just as I was drifting off I mumbled, "I love you, Edward. You are my best friend and I need you forever."
"You've got me, pretty girl. You and your baby boy. I'm not going anywhere. Get some sleep. I love you, too."
So with that I took one last breath, shut my eyes and drifted into dreamland.
